Artemis entered the main hall of Skyhold and was met with the cacophony of its many inhabitants who were celebrating the defeat of Corypheus with good food and alcohol aplenty. Her light foot-wraps, which left her heels and toes exposed, allowed the elf to glide silently through the mass of people undetected. She wanted to head straight to her quarters and fall into the embrace of slumber to soothe her aching heart. However she only covered a few feet before she was beckoned. It was Varric who called out to her, being part of her inner circle meant he was used to her light footfalls and quiet presence.
"Moony! Come here a sec will you?" Varric's silk tunic hung open as usual, but tonight his chest was much pinker than normal, no doubt as a result of the copious amounts of alcohol he had already consumed.
Moony. Varric's nickname for her was an odd one, but one she grew fond of as she began to understand its endearing quality rather than the jibe she once presumed it to be. Artemis was not totally sure why he called her that. Perhaps it was because she was Dalish, perhaps it was because of her pure white hair or perhaps it had no meaning behind it at all. Knowing Varric it could be one or all of these reasons combined, but she had long forgotten to mind.
"Here Moony, have some of this. You'll need it." Varric smiled warmly as he handed her a crystal cup full almost to the brim with a dark red liquid. For fear of spilling its contents, Artemis quickly took a sip from the glass and was pleasantly surprised with its sweet flavour and warming effect. Varric chuckled heartily, before turning solemn. "Now that's out of the way, how are you holding up, really?"
Artemis paused, not lifting her gaze from the cup of wine. Solas. He left me, broken and raw. He took away my vallaslin that had harshly broken my clear, pale visage and then tore my heart from my chest. As much as it had hurt, I couldn't bring myself to be angry at him, never raising my voice as he turned his back on me and left me alone in the clearing. And now he is gone forever, no longer lingering in his room at the bottom of the tower.
Hot tears sprang forth and threatened to spill as she lifted her eyes from her cup to Varric's friendly face. Before she had a chance to mutter words she hadn't even thought of yet, Varric's eyebrows had raised inward to give him a look of sadness, and had set aside his pewter cup and wrapped his short arms around Artemis' waist. He rested his head on her abdomen and patted her back comfortingly, whispering soothing words of consolation.
Artemis hugged Varric back and silently let the tears fall into his hair. She quickly regained her senses and hastily wiped her tear stained face, gently pushing Varric from her.
"Thanks Varric. I needed that. I just don't know what I'm supposed to feel."
Varric looked cheerfully up at her face. "Don't worry about what you are supposed to feel, Moony. Just feel. And drink." He nodded up at the glass she still held. "Trust me, despite all his knowledge, Chuckles is clearly a fool to leave you and the Inquisition. Take your time and do what you do best, rationalise. You don't need that egghead to make you happy."
Artemis was grateful for his advice and thanked him before downing the entire glass. Varric's eyes widened before grinning happily. "There you go. Now go get yourself another and try to have a good night. Don't stow yourself away when you have so many friends who can help you through this. I mean shit, I even heard Vivienne say she was worried about how you were doing." He laughed to himself before shoving her backwards into Dorian who had made his way toward them.
Dorian stopped her from falling with his chest, all the while holding a drink in each hand high above him to save the precious liquid from spilling. "Watch it dwarf. Do you know how hard wine stains are to get out of this fine cloth?"
Varric waved his hand dismissively, muttering a quip and walking off in search for someone else, probably Cole.
"Here, have a drink. I'm one hundred percent certain this will taste much better than whatever he was giving you." Dorian handed her another glass and she took a large mouthful.
"It's exactly the same," Artemis looked up awkwardly, trying to stifle a laugh.
"What! Well I suppose he has a refined taste in something after all. I'm as surprised as you surely are. Anyway I came to ask for a dance. Everyone here dances so plainly, I thought it time to add some flair." Dorian extended his hand and bowed dramatically.
Artemis gulped down the rest of her drink and accepted, taking his much larger hand in hers, smiling. They walked away from the table and began spinning around the floor, a little quickly for her liking considering her two-drinks-in-a-few-minutes-feeling. Her reflexes were slightly slower and the room seemed to blur when he spun her around. Despite this however, she was enjoying herself immensely, the alcohol masking the effects of her heartbreak.
As she clung to Dorian with her small hands she had an idea. "Hey Dorian, won't Bull be jealous you're dancing with me?" She grinned wildly up at the Tevinter.
He let out a laugh as his tanned skin turned a shade redder. "That brute would never dance. He will have to make it up to me some other way. And besides, he knows I would never have eyes for a female. No offence intended of course, Inquisitor."
Artemis laughed and patted his shoulder. "Of course not. Just make sure you both know the safe word." She flushed and covered her mouth in shock after the words left her mouth.
Dorian was in hysterics when he replied. "Oh you are fun when you're drunk!"
Across the room, Varric was making his way towards the blonde boy who was sitting cross legged on the end of a table. Everyone around kept their distance from the strange young man as he trained his eyes on something across the hall.
"Kid? What are you doing all alone over here?" Varric waited for a reply that didn't come as Cole never pulled his gaze from whatever he was watching. Varric stood on tiptoes to hold his head level with Cole's and followed the boy's line of sight. He saw Leliana chatting with Josephine but by the way Cole's eyes had been travelling back and forth it couldn't have been them he was watching. Further behind the pair, Varric spotted Dorian and Artemis spinning around and laughing.
Varric smiled and looked at Cole. "Looks like fun, hey Kid?"
Cole didn't let his pale blue eyes drift from the dancers. "Yes," he breathed quietly. "Talking, touching, so close it's comforting, clearing. Easing the hurt."
"We'll come on then. I saw Maryden standing off to the side on my way over. I'm sure she'd like a dance."
"No," Cole replied matter of factly, eyes still trained on Dorian and Artemis as they finished their dance and made their way to a table of drinks.
Varric was slightly confused and shook his head in dismissal. "Well, becoming more human certainly hasn't made you any less confusing, has it Kid?"
Losing the pair from his sights in the crowd, Cole looked at Varric and tilted his head slightly. "Why should it. Hungry. Thirsty. Sleepy. More confusing, complex to me, why not for you too?"
"Point taken," Varric supposed.
Artemis and Dorian found Bull sitting with the Chargers and a group of others, with a dozen empty mugs in front of him. "Hey Boss. These guys thought they could beat me at a drinking contest! Half of them couldn't even stomach the first cup of my special stuff!"
He clapped his hand a little too hard on Krem's back causing him to lurch foreword, drink sloshing from his cup. "Chief!" Krem complained. "Watch what you're doing."
"Don't get your undergarments in a knot, krem de la crème. Hey you, other Vint, come here and have a drink with Bull."
Dorian rolled his eyes at Artemis and joined Bull at the table, but not before grabbing his horn and shaking his head vigorously.
Artemis grabbed one of Bull's filled tankards and took a sip. It poured down her throat like liquid fire, but thanks to that night at the Herald's Rest, she was not taken by surprise.
Artemis began to make her way towards Sera to chat, not noticing Cole approaching her from behind. Before he could catch up, Cullen had reached her and asked her for a dance. Cole's head dropped, his hat covering his face more than usual. He disappeared and reappeared on the railing high above the hall, hoping Vivienne wouldn't notice and scold him for being in her quarters. He kicked his feet on the stone to a rhythm while watching the Inquisitor and Cullen dance.
"You are looking awfully flushed Inquisitor. How much have you had to drink?" Cullen looked at the tankard Artemis held in her hand over his shoulder, and smelled the contents. "Well you got that one from Bull obviously."
Artemis giggled and held up her hand, indicating the number five. The number didn't matter to her. I will drink as much as I please because it makes me forget the pain that the elf caused.
"Inquisitor!" Cullen's voice was raised and slightly panicked. "You've barely arrived and already five! Remember how small you are. You will be toppling from the battlements soon!"
"Hush Commander. Lucky we aren't on the battlements then. I'm fine." She took another swig from her mug, eyes locked onto Cullen whilst she drank as if to reassure him. "I was thinking, just to prove to you how clear thinking I still am, we should all get together for another game of Wicked Grace after everyone else leaves." She gave a goofy grin as Cullen blushed at the memory. "Don't worry. Josie won't force you to strip again because I will be winning now I know how to play."
"Fine. But I suggest you sit down for a while and have some water before the game."
Cole watched from above as Artemis made her way over to the table where Sera was perched and picked up another drink, toasting with the other elf. Cole also watched as she untied her pure white hair, and smiled as it fell down her back perfectly, reaching just past her backside. Soft, smooth and shining. Pure, perfect, the picture of innocence, so similar to snow or the moon. Yet so loud, the pain, the hurt, Solas is scarring.
The last few people cleared out from the main hall of Skyhold and Artemis was quickly on her feet, gathering her inner circle for the game of Wicked Grace. It was the early hours of the morning as the group made their way to the Herald's Rest, some stumbling more than others. Artemis lead the way with Sera in tow, and unlocked the empty tavern, beckoning them in enthusiastically. They took their places at the large table and Vivienne, whom was quite unaffected by the alcohol, began to deal the cards. Artemis took a seat with Cole on one side and Blackwall on the other.
Sera grabbed her cards and was practically jumping out of her seat. "Yes! I actually get to play this time!"
Blackwall chimed in. "And whose fault was it that you were passed out under the table last time?"
"Oh pish. Sera's gambling tonight will be sponsored by some rich tits noble I plonked the other week." Sera grabbed out a sack of coins and sat it in front of her excitedly.
Vivienne called order to the table. "Dealer's right goes first. Leliana, first round."
Cole looked down in front of him and realised he did not have a set of cards. "Hold on. Where are my cards?"
Vivienne was quick to respond tactfully, albeit with a hint of disgust. "Due to your abilities, you would be at an incredible advantage over the others. So sorry dear."
Cole's head dipped and turned his attention to fastening a buckle on his arm. Seeing his melancholy, and perhaps upon realising she was not quite able to focus fully, Artemis patted his arm comfortingly. "Don't worry Cole. You can be in charge of the amount I bet. How does that sound?"
Cole's eyes lit up behind his flaxen bangs and gave her a thankful smile.
Stories were exchanged with no sense of embarrassment or inappropriateness. Throughout the duration of the game, many blushes and laughs were had and Artemis reflected on her inner circle which had become her family. She loved each and every member, as well as Solas, and was saddened by the thought that some members would soon be parting ways.
The game came to an end and surprisingly it was Sera who swept in the winnings. "Yes! Wild card gets the prize. It's this haircut innit. So bad it distracts you all!" She laughed hysterically.
"At least you admit that it is horrifyingly terrible," Vivienne jabbed. "However, it is beyond my comprehension how you, Inquisitor, managed to lose the most despite the help of the spirit, who can read minds." She stared in disbelief at Artemis who seemed unaffected by her loss.
Cole looked apologetically at Artemis before speaking softly. "I'm sorry I lost your money. I was disturbed, distracted by the loudness of a hurt."
Artemis smiled back at him. "Don't worry about it Cole. It's only money. Besides I had the best time losing it all." She turned back to the rest of the group while Cole remained staring at her smooth face. Being this close to her was almost enough to intoxicate him as much as the alcohol the others had consumed. He could smell the sweetness of her skin and feel the warmth radiating from her body. As she stood to address her companions, he realised just how close her slender hand now was to him. In a daze, he slowly reached up with his long fingers, wanting just to graze her palm, just to feel it's softness.
Artemis raised her arms and outstretched them as if to encircle the group. Cole quickly retracted his hand and lowered his head, scolding himself for being so silly. I am Cole, not Solas. I cannot touch that shining skin. She is so loud, the pain inside is blinding and binding. I must help her, but not for me, for her.
Artemis' voice caught in her throat as she spoke, emotion cancelling her inebriation. "You guys are my family and I value each and every one of you. You have all made great sacrifices to join the Inquisition and I cannot describe the gratitude I feel towards that strength." Tears stung her eyes for a second time that day but she bit back the pain and continued. "Some of you will soon be leaving to pursue great things and I extend to you my sincerest well wishes for your future endeavours. And let it be known, you are always welcome in both Skyhold and the Inquisition, and never hesitate to call upon me, for I am but your humble servant."
There was a moments silence as her words sank in and a few tears wiped clear. This silence was soon broken by a emotionally distraught Bull, who vaulted over the table, spraying cards and coins in every direction, and crashed into Artemis. His sheer weight in comparison to her lithe frame sent them both to the ground and he sobbed into her, mumbling heartfelt compliments and thanks.
Artemis flailed her arms, calling for someone to heave the Bull from her, and soon Cullen was hauling him back into a chair while the others laughed. She decided it wasn't worth the effort to pick herself up off the ground and instead raised both arms in the air. "Go on you loveable idiots. See you all later, most likely mid evening. And remember, speak quietly for I suspect some heads will be throbbing mercilessly."
Everyone slowly piled out of the tavern making their way back to their quarters, some travelling in pairs. Cassandra and Varric headed towards the main hall together, and Blackwall and Josephine left in the direction of the stables. Dorian was dragging Bull from the tavern with great effort, while Sera cradled her winnings upstairs to her room. It was not long before Artemis was left alone, or thought she was alone.
She felt a warm presence beside her, and slowly turned he head to the side, noticing it was Cole who was staring back at her. She closed her eyes and smiled. "I told you not to worry about the money Cole. Go get some sleep."
"I'm a spirit. Spirits don't sleep." Cole was whispering and she could feel his warm breath on her face.
She chuckled to herself, eyes remaining shut. "That's not the truth anymore is it? Since you started becoming more human you get hungry, and sleepy don't you? Oh no." Artemis suddenly had a revelation and she opened her eyes, looking into Cole's own blue ones. "You don't even have a bed. I will send for one immediately." She began to rise slowly and pull herself to her feet.
Cole stood quickly, shaking his head. "No. You needn't worry about me. Pain searing and scorching, but not physical. You hurt, Artemis. You are so loud it hurts to hear. Solas burns you, buries you. Let me help, heal your heart, stop the loudness I have to listen to."
Artemis had begun to shake and tears streamed down her face as Cole spoke. My pain is hurting him. How could I be so selfish. I'm so sorry Cole. "I'm sorry Cole, I shouldn't have." She turned and ran from the tavern, trained feet carrying her swiftly across the courtyard and into the hall. She tripped up the final step in front of the throne and fell flat and without grace. She lay there, vision obscured by the tears and heart aching for her friend she was hurting. She clambered to her hands and knees before she was gently pulled up by an unseen force. She raised her head and saw Cole and realised his hands were around her slight arms. She burst into a fresh set of sobs at the sight of his face.
It hurt Cole to see her like this and pained him to know it was his doing. Everything had came out wrong. I have to fix it. Helping is so hard when they remember me. He effortlessly scooped the elf up into his arms and carried her up the steps leading to her bedroom. When he slowly lowered her small frame onto her bed, he noticed she had fallen asleep. He pulled to covers over her body and studied her face sadly. Her eyelashes were wet from crying and he could see the glimmer of the tracks the tears had left as the moonlight glinted off her pale face. He carefully touched a hand to her cheek and exhaled a content sigh. The warmth from her cheek pierced his chest and he felt his stomach flip when she pressed into his hand in her slumber.
"I'm sorry." He barely spoke, instead seeming to breathe the phrase as he gently wiped her stained cheek with his thumb. He withdrew his hand from her face, allowing it to just graze her full lips as it went. He felt a heat in his abdomen that he could not understand and thought he would ask Varric about it when he awoke. He stole a glance at her sleeping form before descending the stairs and quietly closing the door behind him. Rather than returning to his usual spot in the tavern, he decided to stand guard at her door, in case anyone tried to hurt her in her drunken state. He sat against the wall and lowered his head, allowing his large hat to obscure his face fully. I like Varric. I like Blackwall and the Iron Bull too. I even like Sera. And I like Artemis. But somehow it feels different, delicate, distracting. She shines so bright. His eyes dropped and he fell into a deep sleep.