Note. All rights to final fantasy and it's characters belong to squaresoft mmkay?
This story is written from Reno's point of view. I've never tried funny-ish before so this might be a little sucky. Kthx I'll get on with it now "Awwww geez. The moogle looked so cute! I couldn't help it." That's what I usually say. Yeah okay so it's totally against my personality but the chicks think it's cute. Anyway the only reason I took any notice of it was cuz Elena thought it was in trouble. Ugh I don't like her sometimes. She was all for drooling over Tzeng all day. Guess AVALANCHE put a stop to that One thing I'll say for them I guess. Heh, Elena sure is fun to get a reaction out of though. She moans at me for eeeeverything. My shirt, my ultimate coolness, my reaction is all too laid back for her. Anyway, there we were, half way up dae-chou when there was this kind of whimpering coming from a crack in the mountainside. "Check it out!" Elena urged. It is fun to taunt her, which I did for just a few minutes but she becomes tiresome all too quickly. So I pulled back a few rocks when. BAM! This…thing comes whizzing out of the hole. "Kupo kupo!" Ugh. Why me? I tried to get rid of it a couple of times but it just didn't work. Maybe moogles are just too smart for high security prisons? So anyways I got this damned moogle following me about the place and it's driving me nuts. You can't pull off a serious mission with a cute little bundle of fuzz tagging you wherever you go. I'm getting sick of it's kupos and kupops. It's stupid I know but still… Elena decided she'd turn the tables on me. She saw me trying to stuff the furry devil inside the trash compactor one day. What's wrong Reno? He giving you lip?" She ran off in a fit of laughter. I swear that if she'd have stayed much longer she'd have accompanied the little fuzzy creature to the trash. Hmm… Maybe I should teach it to play catch. I have a pretty large supply of grenades. Oh sorry did I say Grenades? .Heh heh. I meant bombs NO! Wait. Balls. Heh. I'm just not myself today. Honest. Personally I think that the boss is getting annoyed with me. We're in a meeting and I'm trying to stuff it into my desk and in sits down and gives a sullen "Kupo." I get girl attention because they think it's all sensitive an' stuff but the thing's really bugging me now. And it's not doing well for my pay-rise prospects. Not that Heidegger would give me one. That is. He hates me. I'm nearly down to making the coffee level. Oh how Elena would love that. I can imagine it now: "I'll have a black with no sugar please coffee-maker Reno" And she'd smile that evil smile. "Kupo!" The fluffy demon interrupts me?? How Dare it?! Right that's it I'm gonna get it this time! Damn it. It's flown up to the ceiling. "Come down her you little!" Maybe if I took my jacket off. I could bat it down. No, don't wanna look too bothered. Keep it cool. That's right Reno relax in your chair. Maybe you could even get a gun and…NO. Stop it Reno. What did I ever do to the sucker?? Still. It did get me the odd date. Not that I needed any help, that is. Heh heh…ush . My be-winged friend *coughevilflyingdemoncough* seems to have given up on his game. How strange… What's this? It's giving me….a present? I guess it's kinda..sweet. Let's see what is it? *
Shouldn't have asked. Now I've got all gunpowder-face. That little button-nosed cotton wool pad is a lot more trouble than it's worth let me tell you. Great Elena's coming over. Juust brilliant.
"What's up Reno taken a new job as a chimney sweep?"
That doesn't even deserve an answer. Elena's also not worth the trouble she gives me. What happened to the polite shy but easily-annoyed newbie kid? She got way too cocky after she got in Tseng and got that pay rise. She considers herself above the rest of us lowly theives. I'm still her superior though. Oh yeah since about an hour ago she's gonna be doing the midgar slums round. Oh no wait. There are no midgar slums. Heh. Well she can do the..er… um… Oooh She can do the tax job. Yeah. Won't she just luuurve that one.
Oh wait. Elena's looking at me funny.
"No Elena just opened some of your mail. Seems people really don't like you. I had to do it. Security reasons."
"Slow on the reaction today aren't we?"
It must have taken time. All that thinking. Wow. My head hurts a little.
"No just.. er…concussed from all the explosion. Now if you'll excuse me!"
Yes! I just caught her face as I went by. She was having trouble swallowing the lies. She'll have to be careful. She might choke.
Lalala. Strolling along. What?!?!?!?! Oh no the turk rest-room's out. I'll have to share with those icky soldiers again. Eeeeugh. They are so unsanitary. Eeeew opening the door now ick ick ick!
One of the soldiers is stripped half-naked and staring at my blackened face.
"Er.." *cough* "Carry on then."
I guess I have to wash my face. Uck, that soap is disgusting. I'll clean it Eeew even the water's dirty. I don't want to use that towel. Who knows where it's been? I bet you the girl soldiers (not that they're common) Have a cleaner rest-room than this. I guess I'm gonna have to use it. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeew!
Uh-oh. That soldier saw the face I was pulling…better do the 'what's that?' move and run away.
Yes. It worked.
"Ahhaaah!" The moogle hadn't followed me into the rest-room but waited outside. Smart animal. I wouldn't have gone in there unless I had to. It's smart enough to build an exploding parcel anyway. Maybe it read my thoughts about teaching it to play catch with explosives.
Right back at my desk. And it's hungry. Just brilliant. I suppose I could give it a kupo nut.
"Here." Well it can play catch with it's food I guess it could handle bombs.
"See you like it really."
Her again how many times in five minutes?
"No I just wanted to feed it nice and fat before I gave it to one of those starving families in Junon. You know how they like roasted moogle!"
The over-grown albino bat decided to give a little whimpering noise.
"Oh listen you're scaring her. Never mind sweetie."
Now that is sickening.
"And who say's it's a girl?"
"She must be. She doesn't like you."
Oooh if she sticks her tongue out at me one more time…
"You're a guy. Right?"
The moogle responds with a firm nod. Well that's good enough I suppose. It's responded, And proven Elena wrong.
"So now you talk to moogles?"
Oh no. Rude.
"No..I just.. love the little.. Urg. He's driving me insane! And plus he's taking a liking to Elena."
"Tough. Listen Mr. Manager guy before we wheel you off to Dr. Spenner I'd like you to sign this."
The moogle's doing it's innocent face. What's it up to?
"Gotta pen? IT chewed mine to pieces. I think it smelled kupo nut."
"Sure."
I love Rude's pen. It's so squishy on the hold. Just sign here and…
"Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!"
Wow I never thought that moogles could say anything other than "kupo" no wait why was it laughing and why had it turned red. And why had it got horns…..?
"Yeeeah!"
Maybe it was a bad idea to jump into Rude's arms girly style…. Okay time to get down now…
"Er sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah. I KNEW IT!"
"HAHAHAH NOW I OWN YOUR SOUL….kupo…"
"I told you so but…how do you own my soul? That was a form to sign over all of the Midgar scrap metal over to scarlet. See?"
"Oh darn… Just sign here please."
"Sure thing."
NO, DAMN. Why did I do that?
"From the top kupo. HAHAHAH NOW I OWN YOUR SOUL!!!!"
"NOOOOOO!"
Do you get moogle hell???
"Now I only have ONE more goal. To DESTROY MICROSOFT AND THEIR WONDOWS!! MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH"
'Da End hee hee.