My Moon
Summary: Tsuna can't stand living in his brother Giotto's shadow. Compared to Giotto, who is an A+ student, great at sports, and is the most popular kid in their school, Tsuna is a dame who is terrible at sports, school, and interacting with people. After being bullied for years and compared to his brother for just as long, Tsuna slowly shuts down and is pushed to the edge. Will someone be able to save him before he reaches his breaking point? Or will he continue to sink deeper into darkness until he's no more?
Warning: Suicidal!Tsuna, self-hating!Tsuna, Slash (implied a bit)
Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. If I did, you'd see a lot of slash in it. The only things I own are any OC's I decide to put in here.
A/N: Hiya. Well, the first generation is the older siblings (by a year) to the tenth generation. Everyone in the 10th generation is the same age, same with the 1st. So everyone in the tenth gen is 15 and everyone in the first is 16. In here, Tsuna will have no real friends. Not even the 10th generation are really "friends" to him. They do like Tsuna, but mostly only hang out with him because he is Giotto's little brother. So basically Tsuna has no one. Or so he thinks.
Chapter 1
'Dame-Tsuna.'
How familiar that name is.
A young teen, only 15 years old, was sitting in his room crying.
Sawada Tsunayoshi was the youngest member of the Sawada family. He inherited his mother's short height and had a small, feminine looking body. Fluffy, brown, gravity defying tresses laid on his head, completed with milky white skin and big, brown doe eyes. He was quite adorable, but most people didn't notice because they only looked at him as Dame-Tsuna. Dame-Tsuna who was a no good, non-athletic, antisocial person who did terrible at school and had a popular older brother. They never noticed how caring, sweet, and fragile Tsuna was. All everyone did was compare him to his older brother Giotto.
Sawada Ieyasu, who prefers to be called Giotto, is Tsuna's 16-year-old brother whom everyone loved. Giotto was similar to Tsuna appearance wise, but he was taller, more built, and had blue eyes and blond hair. He was the most popular boy in school and everyone loved him. Friendly, handsome, smart, athletic, social, and an air that seems to draw people to him. It's not really a surprise that people started comparing Tsuna to Giotto when they found how different the two were from each other.
It was harmless at first. With people only saying: 'Don't worry sweetie! I'm sure if you try harder you can be just as good as your older brother' or something along those lines. Later though as time went on, people began to realize that no matter what they did or said to encourage him, he would never meet their expectations as they set them so high after meeting his brother. Kids later started bullying him by saying mean things and beating him up. They told Tsuna that he was only a burden to his brother. He was weighing Giotto down and they were just "teaching him a lesson."
As the years went by, things got worse. The words were crueller, the beatings were rougher, and the stares were colder. And slowly, without people noticing, Tsuna slowly started to break.
Which leads to now.
Sitting in his room, curled up on his bed, Tsuna was crying softly into his pillow. He had just got back home from school after another beating from his bullies.
He tried to stop crying, he really did, but every time he almost stopped he remembered what happened not too long ago and fresh tears rained down on his face.
*Flashback*
"Hey Dame-Tsuna~ Where do you think you're going?" Hiro, the leader of the bullies, cornered him against the fence. Tsuna was just trying to find a way out of school without running into bullies, but with his luck, it wasn't surprising that he ended up facing the leader.
"I w-was j-ju-just g-going back h-h-home," Tsuna stuttered out.
"Ehhh, without playing with us first? That's very mean of you Dame-Tsuna. You should be punished for it~" The creepy smile that was on Hiro's face suddenly changed into a smirk, though it was still quite creepy.
He grabbed Tsuna by the collar of his shirt and threw him onto the ground.
"Hieeee! I-I'm s-s-sorry!"
Hiro laughed evilly and leaned down to whisper in Tsuna's ear. "Sorry is not enough, Dame-Tsuna. You need to be punished, and luckily it's just the two of us here. Let's have some fun, ne~"
Tsuna paled when he heard Hiro's words. He knew Hiro had a sadistic streak, but tended to hold it back when with others. But now it was just them two, no one else, and he has no escape.
'Shit. I can't get out of this. I have no chance against him.' Internally sighing, Tsuna prepared himself for the beating we was about to get. But, no amount of mental preparation could get him ready for not what Hiro did, but what he said.
"Dame-Tsuna. You do realize how worthless you are right? Nobody loves you. Your family only deals with you to keep up a nice image with everyone, otherwise they would have thrown you out years ago. Who would even want to keep someone like you? You're dame, no good, you're shit at sports and grades, and you can't even speak to people properly without that fucking stutter of yours. You're better off dead. No one would care, I certainly won't. We'd party at your funeral and dance on your grave. Everyone would be happy. So why don't you just go kill yourself? It's not like you matter anyways. No one will miss you. Not a single person. And you know why? Because you're Dame-Tsuna and everyone hates you."
As Hiro said this, he kept kicking and punching Tsuna until he was on the ground and curled up into a ball.
Giving him one last kick in the gut, Hiro said, "You are the most worthless piece of shit I've ever seen in my life. Why don't you do everyone a favour and die?" He then walked away, leaving Tsuna a crying mess on the ground.
Tsuna picked himself up and limped home. Luckily, no one was there, as Giotto was with his friends and their brothers and his mother, Nana, was on vacation in the Caribbean with their father Iemitsu.
Trudging up the stairs, Tsuna threw himself on his bed and wept. Not able to get the words Hiro said out of his mind.
*End of Flashback*
'I'm pathetic... I shouldn't listen to Hiro-san. I know that Mama and Gio-nii care for me, at least a little. But... I can't get his words out of my head. Maybe he is right; I should just kill myself now. I'm sure it wouldn't make too many people sad. More people would be happy if I did...'
Making up his mind, Tsuna quickly ran to the kitchen to get a knife from the drawers. The knife wasn't giant but it wasn't small either. It was about eight inches, made of stainless steel, and had a dark wood handle.
Upon retrieving the knife, he ran upstairs to his room and sat on the bed. Tsuna stared at the knife, contemplating what he was about to do. Now that he was about to do it he was starting to have second thoughts. Was this really the right thing to do? No. He knew that it wasn't. But, he was desperate. He just didn't want to be here. Here on earth.
'Why am I hesitating? I should just hurry up and kill myself. No one needs me anyways. I'm useless, dame, and a burden. I'm pathetic… This is for the best. It will make people happy if I'm gone, and they won't really care anyways. But… if I'm so set and sure on this, then why… why am I crying even more? Why am I hesitating?'
Lost in his thoughts, Tsuna never heard his brother and a bunch of other people enter the house. Nor did he hear them open his door to check on him. Not until he heard gasps sound from his door did he finally look up.
Upon looking up, Tsuna suddenly wished he didn't.
Standing there was his brother, his brother's friends, and his brother's friends' little brothers.
'Crap, they saw me like this.'
Tsuna didn't know what to do. He was panicking after being caught crying and holding a knife to his wrists by the 14 people standing at his door, who were also slowly shuffling into his room and standing across from him.
"Uhm... hi?" 'Wow, nice Tsuna. Uhm, hi? Is that the best thing you can say now? You were just caught trying to kill yourself and you can only say hi. You're so fucking pathetic.' Inwardly groaning, he wiped the tears from his face, set the knife down on his bed, and fidgeted with his shirt, looking anywhere but at them.
While Tsuna was panicking, the fourteen people who entered the room were taking in the weight of the situation.
Here was Tsuna, Giotto's little brother. A crying Tsuna. A crying Tsuna who was covered in bruises and cuts. A crying Tsuna covered in bruises and cuts holding a knife to his wrist. They didn't want to believe the truth that was ringing in their head but they all knew what was happening.
Suicide.
Tsuna was trying to commit suicide. Looking at his state, they knew he was beat up. So… that means someone pushed him to this. Someone hurt him physically and probably emotionally too. They didn't know what happened or who did this, but when they do find out, that person will pay.
*Somewhere in Namimori*
Hiro shivered and quickly looked around him. He suddenly had a bad feeling and was quite scared, though he never admit it.
*Back at the Sawada household*
"Tsuna."
Tsuna froze and looked up to see 14 pairs of eyes staring at him, but he focused his gaze to the crystal blue eyes of his brother.
"G-Gio-nii..."
"What happened?" Tsuna could hear the anger in his brother's voice and started to tremble. His brother was angry with him, though he didn't know why. He thought his brother would be happy that he was finally killing himself. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell him that he was beat up by his classmate and started crying from what said classmate says. He would just seem even more pathetic.
'He'll think I'm a wimp... He must be embarrassed to be related to me...'
Contrary to what Tsuna thought, Giotto was actually angry at whoever hurt Tsuna and actually loves his brother a lot. So much that his friends and their brothers started saying he had a Tsuna complex, which he would deny and say it's just normal worry a brother would feel. He just has a hard time showing his brother he did love him without it being awkward. When Tsuna started pushing him away and distancing himself, he panicked, thinking his little brother hated him. But when Tsuna looks at Giotto, Giotto can tell there is no hate in his stare, just love, trust and... fear? He knew Tsuna wasn't afraid of him, but there was definitely fear in his eyes. Well the point is, Giotto loves his brother. A lot. And when he saw his brother curled on his bed, crying, beaten up, and about to kill himself, something in him snapped. He would get revenge, that was for certain, and he would make sure it was very painful for the other.
As Giotto plotted his revenge, the 13 others in the room just stared. All lost in their own thoughts.
G, Giotto's best friend, was angry, and so was his little brother Hayato. Someone had dared to hurt his best friend's little brother. They didn't know why anyone would want to hurt little Tsuna. Sure, he was bad at school, sports, and was an introvert, but he was so sweet and caring. He was very gentle and helped fix them up when they got into fights, which was often considering their temper. They never really interacted much other than those times but they could tell that he didn't deserve this.
Asari and his little brother Takeshi were calmly looking at the situation and smiling. But if you looked closely, it wasn't a smile of happiness, but a sadistic smile that promised pain for whoever did this. The two weren't really close to Tsuna, but that didn't stop them from seeing how good a person Tsuna was. He always gave them compliments when Asari played the flute or when Takeshi did well in baseball. He was a sweet boy, and they would hurt whoever did this.
Lampo and Lambo were near tears. They couldn't believe what they were seeing. Tsuna was trying to kill himself. Someone hurt Tsuna… A rare feeling of cruelty sparked through them. They wanted to hurt whoever did this, wanted to torture whoever did this. They weren't great friends with Tsuna, but Tsuna was so nice to them, so sweet. He would always give them candies when they asked. He even gives them a bunch of grape candy, which is their favourite! He even cooked food for them when Maman wasn't home. He was so nice and sweet but… he got hurt. He didn't deserve to get hurt.
Knuckle and Ryohei were quiet for once. No yelling 'EXTREME' either. This was odd because in any situation they would yell 'EXTREME', whether it's good or bad. The two were worried for Tsuna. Tsuna would always try to help them heal their friends when they got hurt. He was a kind soul who hated fighting and loved helping others. What did he ever do to deserve this? Nothing, they thought. He did nothing to deserve it, but life is cruel, especially to the best people.
Chrome, younger twin sister of Mukuro and younger sister of Daemon, was freely crying. She couldn't see why anyone would hurt Tsunayoshi. He was always gentle and kind to her, he always helped her and cheered her up. The fact that Tsuna was resorting to suicide meant that he was having it rough… and she never helped despite him helping her all those times. Sure, she didn't know, but she should have known. She should have noticed all those times he came back with bruises and tears in his eyes. She didn't know why she didn't notice. But, she did know why. She didn't want to believe what was happening. After all, who wants to know that the person who was always kind to you is also hurt, but you can't do anything because of fear?
Surprisingly, Alaude and Kyoya were also out for blood at whoever pushed Tsunayoshi to do this. Tsunayoshi wasn't like all the other herbivores. We wasn't really loud or annoying and he gave them food. Plus, he was quite adorable and they had this thing for small cute things… Anyways, they would murder whoever dared to harm their little animal.
Daemon and Mukuro… well, if you look past everything in their psychotic, sadistic, and twisted mind, you could see they were also looking for blood like the skylarks. They also found Tsunayoshi kind and adorable and couldn't believe someone was able to hurt someone as cute and sweet as Tsunayoshi.
Well, despite the differences in this odd group, they all had one common thought and goal in mind right now.
'Kill whoever hurt Tsuna/Tsunayoshi.'
They all snapped out of their thoughts as Tsuna spoke.
"I-I'm s-s-sorry…"
Everyone's eyes widened when they heard that. What did he have to be sorry for? He was the victim here. If anything, they should be sorry for not noticing and helping him sooner. Yet here he was, not blaming anyone and instead apologizing…
"Tsunayoshi… please look at me."
It took awhile for Tsuna to dry his eyes and did as his brother asked and looked at him.
Seeing that Tsuna finally looked at him, Giotto spoke again. "Tsunayoshi… why? Why do this?" If you listened closely you could hear his voice was shaking. Tears were prickling at the back of his eyes.
"I… I'm sorry Gio-nii. I never meant for you to see. I thought that I could do it before you returne-"
"Tsuna!" Giotto yelled, tears freely falling down his face now. "I'm not asking if you meant for me to find out. I'm asking why you did this. What happened Tsuna? Do you really hate life that much? Do you hate me? Is that it? Do you hate having to live in the same house as me? I know I'm a terrible big brother to you but am I truly that horrible? Damnit Tsuna! You keep pushing me away and I won't know what's happening if you don't tell me…"
Tsuna was… well for the most part he was shocked. His brother thought he hated him? Why? Even though he was always compared to Giotto he still loved his brother with all of his heart. The thought of disliking his brother made him feel sick. Curling up into a ball, Tsuna fully broke down and was sobbing into his arms.
Giotto, seeing his brothers' reaction, hurried to Tsuna's side and hugged him. He felt Tsuna stiffen and flinch away at the contact, but he continued to hold him. Giotto was determined not to let his brother go. They would fix their relationship right now. What happened today… he didn't want it to happen again.
After awhile Tsuna relaxed into the embrace and hugged Giotto back, blushing slightly. Giotto smiled at this and hugged Tsuna tighter, happy his brother wasn't pushing him away. Suddenly, he felt eyes staring at his back and decided to turn his head around while keeping his brother in his arms. After all, it isn't everyday Tsuna hugs him. 'Though, I'm going to fix that one day~'
When he turned around, Giotto couldn't help but groan at what he saw. His friends and their siblings were staring at him. Not just any stare though. It was a stare that said, 'Tsuna complex. Definitely has a Tsuna complex.'
Giotto gave them a glare in return that said, 'I do not. I am just showing care for him as his older brother like any older brother would for their younger sibling.'
Some rolled their eyes, some smirked, some raised their eyebrow, and others were just amused. Either way, they left it there and decided to get back to the matter at hand.
Tsuna.
Detaching his brother from him, Giotto wiped a few stray tears from Tsuna's eyes before asking the question a third time. "Why, Tsuna?"
Tsuna hesitated a bit before looking away, letting his bangs cover his eyes, and answered, "Because no one needs me…"
Everyone stared in shock at his answer.
"WHAT?!" Everyone screamed this at once. What did Tsuna mean? Of course he was needed. They all needed him in their lives. Sure, he wasn't a huge part but he was still there. And if they had any say later in the future, he WOULD become a part of their group of friends, of their family.
Seeing that everyone didn't plan to speak, Tsuna continued.
"I… I'm not important. No one needs me. I'm only a burden in all of your lives. I'm a dame, a no-good, I'm terrible at school, sports, and interacting. I'm pathetic… I'm sorry if I ever embarrassed you for knowing me…"
They were speechless. Did Tsuna really think this? Well, they would just have to fix this then.
So all at once, everyone, except Giotto, said to Tsuna, "Tsuna/Tsunayoshi. You are important to us though. We are not embarrassed by you and never have nor will be. You aren't pathetic at all. You're nice, kind, gentle, caring, cute, and as well as many great things as well. Whoever told you that you were those things doesn't know you and can't see how great you are. We are happy to have you in our lives and don't want to see what it would be like without you. We all like and love you, Tsuna."
Tsuna for the most part was shocked. He couldn't believe what was happening. People cared for him? People loved him? Tsuna started crying tears of joy and had a small smile on his face. When Tsuna smiled, everyone felt their heart stop and felt heat on their cheeks.
'Damn, he's so adorable.'
"Tsuna."
Tsuna looked up at his brother and was happy to find a warm smile on his face.
"Tsuna they're right you know. We all love you. I love you. Sure, we haven't been that close for awhile, but I want us to be close again. You are my important little brother. My family. I don't want to know life without you. You've wormed your way into our hearts and into our lives, and we plan for you to stay there. So please, never try to kill yourself again. Or even think of it. We all care and love you and would be devastated if you left. You're a great person Tsuna, one of the best people I know. It doesn't matter what anyone says about you because you will always be important to us no matter what."
Tsuna couldn't remember when he was ever this happy. All his life he had been compared to Giotto and thought he would never be loved by anyone because he was so useless. But here he was, with fourteen people standing in front of him and telling him the opposite. They said he wasn't a burden, was kind, was important, and was loved.
Jumping into Giotto's arms and hugging him, Tsuna cried into his shirt and smiled. He then mumbled something, which caused smiles to form on everyone's faces.
Going back to their normal selves, Knuckles and Ryohei yelled, "EXTREME GROUP HUG!" This caused for everyone to dog pile on Tsuna and Giotto. Of course their friends dragged Alaude, Kyoya, Daemon, and Mukuro into it, but everyone was content. They were all smiling, laughing, and hugging each other.
Sure, they found Tsuna in the state that he was in, but it turned out for the better. Now, all of them gained a member of the family and they couldn't be happier.
Forever would this memory be ingrained in their minds. Especially what Tsuna said/mumbled into Giotto's shirt that made their hearts quicken and their face smile with light blushes on their cheeks.
"Thank you, everyone. I love you too… my family."
A/N: The end~ Sorry if it's bad and sucks. Also sorry for people being OOC. And sorry for any mistakes. And uhm yeah. Sorry. Hope you enjoyed it at least a bit cx Oh yeah and about the title name. Well, it made sense to me at the time and still does. The quote "Most people want to be the sun to brighten up your day. But I would rather be the moon that shines down on you in your darkest hour." inspired it. You see, the 1st generation and 10th generation guardians were never really in Tsuna's life much to brighten up his day when he's sad or help him when he's hurt. But in his darkest hour, they managed to be the moon. They "shone down" their love on him, made him realize how important he really is. They helped him in his dark time and saved him. From here, they can become suns that will help him. But they will always be the moon that saved him that day. Hence, why the name is "My Moon" because they are Tsuna's moon. I don't really know why I chose it but yeah I did. cx
