Castiel looked around, wrapping his jacket tightly around his body. Damn, it was cold. But he would do this for Dean. He would do anything for his friend. He shivered as he walked towards the Impala, where Dean stood, leaning against the hood of his car with a cigarette in his mouth.

~Earlier that day~

"Hey, Cas!" Dean walked over to his best friend, grinning as he clapped him on the shoulder. Nobody understood how the two of them got so buddy-buddy; to be honest, neither did Cas. He just remembered that they had been sitting next to each other in class one day; probably history. Cas had looked up and Dean Winchester was sitting next to him. He knew all about the kid: bad boy, the kind everybody wanted to be with. Never did his homework, rarely showed up to class, and when he did, he always made a scene. For some reason, he had been drawn to the boy's intoxicating aura immediately. He had let Dean copy his homework, and from that moment on, they had been really close for some reason. Castiel shook the memory from his head fondly, feeling the other boy punch him in the arm. "Jo, Ash, and I are going out tonight. Thought you might want to come?"

He should have known better. But there was something in the way Dean had asked. Something that drove shivers up and down his spine. There was no denying that he was attracted to his best friend, but there was something more in his voice. A sort of tone of desperation, of raw need. A tone that pushed Cas over the abyss.

"Dean, I...I would love to, but-"

Dean snapped his head up, grinning wildly. Castiel always managed to surprise him. "Awesome. I'll pick you up around nine."

"Dean, I can't just-"

"Sneak out, dumbass." The bell rang and Dean clapped him on the back. "I'll see you tonight." Cas nodded, mouth feeling like it was full of sandpaper. What had he agreed to do? He couldn't just sneak out! Somebody would catch him...if not his dad, then one of his siblings. But for Dean... He watched his friend, his secret crush, walk away from him, and resolved to do whatever it took to get him.

That whole day, Cas couldn't concentrate, couldn't speak, couldn't breathe. All he could think about was Dean. Sneaking out with him, going Jo's house to drink with him and his friends, maybe finding a secluded area and...his hand clenched around his paper and he jumped at the sound, looking down and sighing. Students around him gave him weird looks, but he ignored them. God, he wished desperately that they would all just leave him alone. His head was spinning. He was ready to scream and give up when the bell rang. He rushed out of the classroom as quickly as he could, papers flying out of his hands as he rushed outside. He needed some fresh air.

Dean was outside, as usual. A cigarette dangled precariously out of his mouth. "You okay, dude? You look a little spooked."

Castiel had heard that cigarettes were good for calming nerves. "Yeah. Can I, uh...can I have a drag?" The word tasted strange in his mouth, foreign. Dean looked surprised but handed it over with no objections. Cas stuck it in his mouth and Dean laughed.

"Just put it gently against your lips and breathe in. You're gonna cough the first time you do it, that's natural. Just stay calm." Cas nodded, adjusted the cigarette in his mouth, and did as Dean said. He was right; Cas practically coughed up a lung and handed it back. When he regained the ability to breathe, Cas sheepishly took the cigarette again and gently inhaled. The nicotine danced down his throat and into his lungs and this time, it didn't hurt as badly. In fact, it felt kind of good, surprisingly soothing. "There you go, buddy," Dean said to him, and Cas warmed at the approval. He took another long drag, his heart rate slowing with every breath.

"I'll see you tonight, then."

The rest of the day passed slowly as Cas waited for the evening to come. He finished his homework as early as he could, then showered and dried his hair. All through dinner he stayed quiet. Uriel and Michael, the twins, wouldn't shut up about how well they had done during the football game. The only one who seemed to care about his silence was Anna, his younger sister, who looked at him quizzically. "Are you okay, Castiel?"

"I'm fine, Anna," Cas replied, looking down at his meal. Gabe punched his arm.

"Meet a girl?"

"No, Gabriel." The boy blushed and rolled his eyes.

"You need it." Cas looked up at his brother, who had already stuffed as much food as he could into his mouth. Their father glared at him, but Castiel's brother didn't seem to notice.

Gabe knew that he was gay; he knew there was no girl. Nobody else knew, though. If any of the others found out, his father would, too. He would go ballistic. Cas would be kicked out of his house in a second. No, he couldn't let that happen. Michael and Uriel would torture Anna; there was only so much Gabe could do on his own to stop them. Not to mention he would never be able to survive on his own. The dark haired boy took a small bite of his food and immediately felt like throwing up.

"May I be excused? I have some homework I have to get done." Their father nodded his head. "Thank you, sir." He picked up his plate and ran it into the kitchen, rinsing it off and putting it into the dishwasher before running up to the room he shared with Gabriel. Cas flopped back onto the bed and balanced chemical equations in his mind to keep it occupied until nine.

"What the hell, man? Are you trying to get out of doing the dishes? That's not like you." Gabriel sat down on the bed next to his younger brother, looking at him. "You finished your homework hours ago. Remember? You helped me with mine." Even though Gabriel was older, Cas could do anything he was given. It was like a weird talent.

"I...Dean asked me to sneak out with him tonight."

"You obviously said no, right?"

Silence.

Gabe looked at him, his face full of surprise.

"Dad's gonna kill you if he finds out."

"Dean's coming at nine; Dad will be praying or asleep by then. Please, help me make sure he doesn't find out." He knew he sounded pathetic, but he didn't care. He wanted this. More than that, he needed it.

"Fine. I'll tell him you're in the shower or something, that you felt sick so you decided to go to bed early. But don't make a habit of this."

"I'll be back before eleven. Maybe."

Now it was Gabe's turn to be silent.

"What is it, Gabe?"

A childish grin blossomed over his face. "...You've gotta tell me everything that happens."

Cas rolled his eyes and gave his brother an affectionate shove. "Thanks," he said with a grin, as he pulled his jacket on. The boy flopped back on his bed and sighed, waiting for the clock to strike.

It was 9:00 p.m. Castiel sat up and grinned at his brother, saluting him before jumping off the bed and opening the window. Nerves fluttered in his belly, and he stopped for a moment. He couldn't do this. He had to do this. He...could do this. He nodded to himself, feeling his brother's eyes on him, then jumped softly onto the roof. He grinned to himself; he was a natural. Unsure if this realization made him happy or uncomfortable, the boy swung down onto the ground. His landing was soft, and before he knew what he was doing, he was walking out towards the street, looking around for Dean.

And then there he was, about two blocks away. His car was parked right under the streetlight; it looked like something from a '90s movie or something: Dean leaning up against the Impala, a cigarette dangling lazily from his mouth, his signature leather jacket around his shoulders. "Hurry up, Cas," he said affectionately, flicking the butt of the cigarette onto his neighbor's yard. The black haired boy resisted the urge to pick it up and throw it in the trash as he got into the passenger's seat.

"Where are we going?"

"Jo's house. Her mom's not home, and she has all this high quality booze because she owns a bar." Dean grinned and rolled down the windows, making sure not to blast the music until they were well away from Cas' house. Once they were, though, ACDC was blasting at full volume; Dean's voice could be heard over the actual singer's, and soon Cas was singing along with him, already excited for what was to come.

They arrived at the house about ten minutes later. Both of them had been smoking, and the scent trailed after them as they made their way up to the door. "Dean!" Jo threw herself into his arms and Cas felt a slight pang of jealousy that she could do that. Admittedly, she looked great; she was wearing skin tight black pants and a crop top that didn't go past her stomach. She looked downright sexy, if you were into that look. "Come on, let's go out to the porch. Ash is already there." She smiled at Dean, then shot Cas a glance. "Don't call the police on us, okay? There's gonna be underage drinking." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and the boy felt a pang in his chest. Jesus, he didn't think that he was that much of a prude. Cas shrugged his jacket off and hung it up, then scurried after the other two.

The three sat down on the back porch. Ash grinned and nodded to Cas, handing him a cup filled with strongly-scented alcohol. He smiled and took a sip; fuck, it was strong. He swallowed and felt the warm liquid run down his throat. It tasted like crap, but it felt really nice. Cas took another sip and leaned back, continuing to drink until the cup was empty. His head was spinning; Ash told him that he had just drank an entire cup of whiskey. Really? His father drank whiskey, but he definitely didn't drink this much at a time.

Feeling bold, Cas stood up and sat back down right next to Dean, who giggled a bit as he watched Jo stand up and take Ash's hand, leading him through the kitchen. Finally, Dean and Cas were alone. Cas refilled his cup and hiccuped. The world began spinning, spinning, spinning.

"Dean, I'm gay." Hiccup. Sip. Sip. Hiccup.

"I figured that's why you never have a girlfriend." That smile, that smile that drove Cas insane.. Another sip. Cas crawled into Dean's lap, setting his cup down on the ground. It spilled; he took no notice.

"I want to kiss you."

"What are you waiting for?"

Cas pressed his lips against Dean's. He tasted like whiskey and cigarettes, something Cas didn't realize tasted so wonderful. He wrapped his legs around Dean's torso and moaned as the other man's lips moved to his neck. He fumbled with his shirt, pulling it off and then working on Dean's. He could barely feel his hands; that made him giggle. He couldn't feel his hands, and he was kissing the man he had been in love with for months. Dean's teeth in his skin made it hard to concentrate; anything that had been there had washed away quickly. "Fuck, Dean."

"I love it when you curse," the man responded in a lust-deepened voice, tugging at Cas' jeans drunkenly. The dark haired boy didn't protest; this was what he wanted. He wanted this. He wanted Dean. He wanted to kiss guys and make out with guys and have sex with guys. He wanted to sneak out for Dean every night and find him and fuck him senseless in the back of the Impala. All his life, he had been forced to be a good little straight boy, always get A's, and never talk out of turn. All his life, that's who he thought he was. He knew he was gay, but he never acted on his feelings because he had been brainwashed by his father to think it was wrong and dirty and nasty. But his father was the one who had been wrong, because this felt right.

Cas allowed Dean to struggle with the clasp of his belt for a few more seconds before finally undoing the damn thing himself, ripping off his pants, then Dean's. Their erections tented their boxers, and looking down, they both laughed. Cas buried his face into Dean's neck and held him there, rocking his hips against Dean's, moaning quietly. Dean's hands traveled down to the elastic of his underpants, tugging them off. Suddenly, they were both naked, on the back porch of Jo Harvelle's house, rocking their bodies into each other in a flurry of hands and kisses.

"Dean," Cas gasped as the boy's hand found his dick, squeezing it gently. "I've never...done this before."

"I've got you, baby. Let me take care of you," Dean moaned, the toned muscles in his back showing as he pumped Cas' dick slowly. He gasped and gripped Dean's hips tightly, his fingernails digging into his flesh, his lips drunkenly finding his lover's neck to muffle his cries of pleasure. It took him no time at all to come, sticky tendrils spilling all over Dean's hand as he rubbed Cas' back soothingly, cooing to him as he whimpered in the other man's arms.

Cas' whole body relaxed, and when he felt like he could move again, he kissed a trail down Dean's chest and stomach, pressing a kiss to the head of his dick. "Fuck, Cas," he moaned, rocking his hips up. "You...you don't have to..."

"I want to." Cas wrapped his lips around Dean's cock and did exactly what Dean had done with his hands. The boy squirmed helplessly under him, and Cas pressed his hips into the cold, wooden ground beneath them to keep his hips from bucking up.

"Fuck, Cas-" he said, cutting himself off with a loud moan as he came, fast and hard, into his friend's mouth. Cas swallowed as much of it as he could, swiping the bit he missed from the corner of his mouth with his thumb and sticking it into his mouth. Dean shuddered, then pulled him up and hugged him tightly to his chest. Dizzy from the alcohol and the sex, Cas allowed himself to be held as he fell asleep.