Cambridge, MA
1985
Boarding school dress codes tried to eliminate the playing field, but Anthony DiNozzo knew he was an all-star batting three hundred surrounded by T-ball saps who couldn't tie their shoelaces. He had the suave, the smile, the salon gelled hair. They had the braces, the bottle glasses, and inhalers. DiNozzo didn't blame them for their unfortunate genetics, but did enjoy reminding them of that unavoidable fact.
At boarding school, Sundays were glorious; it was the only day the over watched rich boys could escape the crushing claw of the Headmaster and his resident authority demons and explore the city. School policy allowed all students to attended a religious service without supervision on Sunday if they filled out the off-campus church request form. The only thing required was their name and the name of a local church. Ninety-nine percent of the school filled out the form, and ninety eight percent roamed Boston's illogically planned streets while the church bells tolled.
DiNozzo glided down Harvard Street with a certain swagger-a walking style he claimed was natural, but was actually extremely practiced. Behind him Billy Jones and Darrin Stafford debated the merits of Rambo II compared to the original and whether another Rocky movie would be made after this year's number 4. DiNozzo constantly interrupted, correcting their misinformed analysis, but he soon lost interest and something else caught his eyes across the street.
"Ow, Tony! Why'd ya stop walking?" Billy took off his glasses and examined the lenses for damage from the collision.
A silly smile spread across DiNozzo's face. "Just admiring the view, four eyes."
"That Anglican Church?" Darrin asked. "It's just another old brick building."
DiNozzo pushed Darrin back, "Not that you stupid. The blonde chick leaning against the brick building."
The two boys mouths opened in silent "O". To the right of the stone steps, a teenage girl dressed in sleek black skirt and a light blue blouse with a large book balanced in her left hand. She turned a paged and then run her fingers through her long blond hair that fell gently over her chest.
"It's like I'm staring at the goddess Athena herself," Billy moaned.
"No, like a Barbie made real," Darrin muttered.
"No, like my next romantic conquest," DiNozzo started moving towards the crosswalk.
"No, wait dude!"
"Man, you're crazy!" Darrin grabbed DiNozzo's boarding school blue sports jacket. "She's like eighteen, Tony!"
"Get your grubby hands off me. Stafford," Tony straightened his jacket again, checking to make sure everything still looked pristine. "And she's probably sixteen, seventeen at most."
"And you're thirteen, dumbo."
"Fourteen in a week; she's still in range. Plus," Tony added with a smile, "No woman can resist the DiNozzo charm."
Billy groaned and hung his head, convinced that this was going to end badly. Darrin just shrugged, "Fine than. Go try that DiNozzo charm. We'll watch the fireworks from here."
"Oh, there'll be fireworks alright," Tony straightened his dress code mandatory stripped tie and patted his hair down before dashing across the street, hoping to reach the other side before the green walk light vanished. He took two deep, preparatory breaths before meandering over. The blonde girl seemed in her own world and didn't register DiNozzo's presence until he stood two feet away, arm outstretched against the wall, and looking up at her with a cocky smile. "Hey there,"
The girl jumped and quickly turned toward DiNozzo, her hair flipping over her shoulders. Tony enjoyed the flustered brushing of the skirt and her embarrassed half smile. "Hi," She said. "Ah, what are you doing?"
"I'm Anthony DiNozzo, but you can call me Tony," He ignored her question. "What's your name?"
"Sam," She smiled politely, but looked back down at her book. The cover read "Quantum Reality: Beyond the New Physics."
"Sam, Sam, Sam," DiNozzo tested the name, "Short for Samantha I presume?" DiNozzo tasted her name and lingered over the sweetness.
The blonde teen rolled her eyes. "What do you want, squirt?"
Tony's eyes moved from her crystal blue eyes down to her finely toned calves and classic black heels then up again. "Nothing," He shrugged.
Sam looked disgusted. "You're a Kingston Boarding School boy, right? What are you, twelve?"
Tony laughed nervously, "N-N-No, of course not. I'm fifteen, sixteen next Sunday," DiNozzo lied, counting on his early growth spurt to sell the small untruth.
She crossed her arms. "Sure, fine, whatever. Why are you talking to me?"
DiNozzo shifted his weight from one foot to the other. This conversation wasn't going as planned. He glanced back over the street, and saw Billy and Darrin watching him, waiting to see him fail, but DiNozzo did not strike out; at least not easily. Even if this was a curve ball, he wasn't going to just watch it harmlessly pass him by. No, Anthony DiNozzo was going down swinging. "Isn't it obvious?" DiNozzo stepped closer, pinning her between the tall church steps and the brick wall. Before he could chicken out, Tony grabbed her face and kissed her.
"What the hell!" Sam yelled, managing to push DiNozzo away so hard he fell on the ground. "You stupid, slimy, son of a-" She started kicking the fallen boy and even threw her book at him. Tony tried to crawl away but the ticked off teen was relentless. DiNozzo knew he was going to have high heel sized bruises all over his back the next day. He at least tried to hide his neck and head under his arms for some protection. From the corner of his eye, he could see Billy and Darrin across the street. Billy's mouth hung open wide enough to swallow a big Mac whole, and Tony thought he heard Darrin's uncontrollable laughter over the sound of traffic.
The blows didn't stop until the church doors opened and forty some year old man, dressed in military blues with chest full of awards stepped out.
"Samantha Natalie Carter, stop right this instant!"
The bombardment ended. DiNozzo uncovered his head and dared to look up as Sam quickly spun around and almost tripped over her feet. "Dad!"
"What do you think you are doing?" The Colonel (Tony assumed he had to be colonel or higher with those ribbons) quickly descended the church steps.
"He kissed me, Dad!" Sam spat. "That little perv kissed me!"
Hours of marathon cop films made DiNozzo realized sexual assault was not something he wanted to be charged with. Intuition also told him that fathers, let alone military officers, weren't the most forgiving of men. Tony jumped off the ground and bolted. He cut through Harvard bookstore and flew into the nearest metro entrance. He hopped the gate, slid down the escalator railing, and didn't stop moving until the train car door closed and was convinced the Colonel hadn't followed him.
DiNozzo slunk back to Kingston campus well after midnight. Thanks to Billy Jones and Darrin Stafford, the story of DiNozzo's unfailing charm spread to every crevice of every residence hall. High-heeled shoes were tapped onto the outside of his dorm room door. Embarrassed, Tony ripped down the footwear and locked himself in his room to avoid any more mocking pranks. DiNozzo fell into a frightful sleep, dreaming of blonde warrior chicks floating in outer space, and awoke every couple hours when he moved and changed pressure on his bruised back.
Monday morning came and DiNozzo's breakfast was interrupted by the Headmaster himself yanking Tony by the ear into his office. Apparently, Colonel Carter didn't need to chase after a thirteen year old boy when he could call Kingston Boarding school the next day and report that an Anthony "you can call me Tony" DiNozzo forcibly kissed his daughter. To say the Headmaster was enraged would be calling Pompeii slightly burned.
Three hours and many phone calls later, Tony stumbled out of the office. On the bench next to the water fountain Billy hit a snoring Darrin awake. "Get up, DiNozzo's alive!"
Darrin rubbed his eyes and stood up slowly. "So, Dumbo DiNozzo, what's the verdict?"
"Sam and the Colonel agreed to drop any charges of harassment."
"That's great!" Billy slapped DiNozzo on the shoulder.
"Wow, Tony, you get away with anything," Darrin punched him on the shoulder, "Maybe you do have some secret charm power."
But Tony couldn't join in with his friends' lighthearted laughter. "You don't understand, guys. I'm not being charged, because I getting expelled from Kingston instead."
"Shut up, DiNozzo," Darrin smile disappeared. "You can't be serious."
"Dead serious. My Dad is flying in from Monte Carlo tonight to pick me up,"
"But you can't leave!" Billy protested. "You're DiNozzo-the man, the suave, the DiNozzo! I mean, where are you even going to go?"
"Another boarding school, I guess," Tony sighed, and looked down at his shoes willing tears not to form. After hating the last three institutions, Tony had actually liked it here and felt at home here in Cambridge and around these boys. Most of them were geeks, and despite making fun of them he felt connected to them. It'd be hard to start over again.
"You'll come visit us?" Billy asked.
"No, he won't, Bumface," Darrin said. "His father could send him anywhere in the country and why would he pay for his son to visit the school he was expelled from. Tony probably wouldn't' even be allowed on campus again, anyways."
"So, it's goodbye," Billy said sorrowfully. Tony worried the poor kids' glasses would fog up.
"I guess so."
"And all this for a girl," Darrin said, "Just one thing Tony, why'd you have to kiss her?"
Tony thought about that. She was attractive, but DiNozzo doesn't kiss every pretty girl that walked by him. Moreover, there was no indication Sam would welcome such an advance. In all honesty, Tony should have left her alone; it was a fool's errand to begin with. Yet, Tony knew if the situation repeated himself he'd still try to woo her (maybe with a different approach, though). It wasn't her beauty that ensnared Tony and definitely was not that nerdy textbook. It was the sharp, prickly look when she called him squirt; it was that dangerous edge to her voice that sent chills down his spine. Underneath that academic charm, Tony sensed danger and well, it unnerved him.
"I like woman with spunk," Tony confessed, "And you'll never hit homerun if you don't risk swinging."