Of All The Frustration & Disappointment.
A/N- This poor little plot has been bugging me for-EVER and... sadly... its sorta based on my own personal experience with this boy that I liked [and still do like]. You might have read, but this fic is about Camille Roberts. I was watching 'Big Time Dance' again and noticed that Camille said that she had 'never been asked out to a dance before', so that sparked me. Personally, I have had the same experience that you are about to read of in my own life, so thats what drives me to write it.
What I'm trying to say is that since Camille was never asked out before, she must have had some problems back in her hometown in 8th grade or something (her hometown should be in Connecticut, as heard of in the show). Hope You Enjoy! And don't forget to REVIEW!
Camille's POV
Waking up every morning for another day of school is way too hard, and it's not because I struggle in school. I do actually get good grades, not very high, but not very low either. Its because I'm frustrated with my life... I'm disappointed and confused.
Why? You ask. Well, because I'm in love with an amazing boy, Andrew Eastwood. But I'm frustrated because Andrew doesn't love me back. He has never loved me. What I don't understand is why he doesn't like me. He loves girls with no personality or girls who hide behind make-up and sleazy clothes. None of his past girlfriends nor his current one have ever had something genuine about them.
Everyone says that if he doesn't love me back, then he's not worth it. I know for sure that they're all right, but I just hate the fact that he doesn't see me the way I see him, and that he won't consider me anything more than a friend. I hate that he's so charming and smooth, yet such a player at the same time. Sometimes I wonder why I'm the only girl that he hat dated yet.
I want to be his girlfriend and be able to go to him when I'm sad, or happy, or need help on homework assignments. I love the way he looks and the way his body curves so perfectly in such a manly way... and best of all, I love his fun personality. He's such an ambitious and out-going person; always up for a fun adventure or a time to goof off.
And to add to the worst- none of my friends believe that we're good for each other, let alone even have a chance at anything romantic. They say that we were just never meant to be and that I'm too good of a girl for him, and that he's just going to be a jerk to me. It drives me crazy... I just can't understand why everyone thinks that way. It's so frustrating and disappointing bend your belief.
Andrew just gets to me, he knows how to make me feel good at the little moments that he does actually talk to me, but he also breaks my heart into a million shattered pieces every time he goes off and smooches his constantly changing girlfriends. I don't understand why he does such things; why he can be such a gentleman yet such a douche bag. And I don't understand why I can't get over him, because I know he's not good for me, yet I keep trying.
Every time he confronts his girlfriend and does something romantic, the first thing I do is look away and pull my hair over my eyes. Then I think, 'why isn't that me? Why won't he do that to me?' I can't understand it. I can't figure out why he won't admire me and love me back. It's just too frustrating. No, it's disgusting the way he is such a douche bag. He wouldn't see the right girl for him even if she stood right smack there in front of his eyes and was by his side the whole time. I hate it. I keep getting heartbroken over and over; each time the feeling is twice as bitter as the last.
Anyways, at school, I'm not the coolest kid out there. People say that I'm a bit crazy, or sometimes they even say I'm bipolar. That's something else that I don't understand; why does everyone think I'm such a dramatic person? I'm just being myself and that's who I am. Only my family believes that my personality is beautiful...but then again they could be lying just to make me feel better.
Sometimes I wish I was normal and popular, like some of those other girls who easily make a name of themselves as the 'famous' ones. I wish I knew how it felt to go out and party, or hang out with friends on weekends, or go to the late-night movies with a date. Instead I have to practice my acting and dramatic arts; it runs in the family to be an aspiring actor/actress.
It's not that I don't want to be an actress, I really do. I want to grow up and be on the big screens as a star for some amazing block-busting movie, or play the lead roll on a full-length TV series that runs during prime-time. I want to show all of those dis-believers that I can make it and that they should have treated me better in school. They'll all be at my feet, all wanting to be my friend and get in on the act. Even those popular girls, and Andrew. But I'll be pushing them back, and all they can do is watch me walk down that red carpet with the next hottest male actor by my side. I'll be famous and popular by then, and they'll all be the jealous ones.
But right now, I'm pretty dull and totally UN-popular. people like to make judgements about me and say things that aren't even true. And worst of all, everyone calls my liking of Andrew an 'obsession' but I'm not obsessed. I just like him! Why can't people understand that? I don't know why I even let that slip past me. I act like all of that gossip doesn't bother me, but really, it makes me crumble inside. I hate how they call me obsessed...I HATE it HATE it HATE it.
But I still can't sort out all of my feelings for Andrew...I hate him for never asking me out and for ignoring me like a dead stick on the road at times, but I love him too because he can be the most wonderful gentleman who can make words flow like the sweetest melodies out of his mouth. I can't choose which emotion dominates the other. Sometimes I hate his guts more than I hate split pea soup, but sometimes I love him like an angel. Its just so complicated.
Every school day is a drag, it's like theres absolutely nothing to look forward to except for the frozen fruit cups in the cafeteria for lunch. Everyone else thinks otherwise, they all think that school is amazing-aside from the school work-and that the social life is the most fun. Sometimes it makes me wonder why the people who deserve it the most never get what they ant, even though they follow every rule and have been good all their lives... While all of the crazy mis-behaving people who don't know what they're going to do with themselves in life get all the fun in just the snap of a finger.
My parents say that good thing come to people who wait and do good things, but later I feel like all that talk is just a bunch of lies. I want to party and have fun like all of the other teenagers out there instead of being held back by strict guidelines and a constant schedule of school and acting classes. I want all of it, I want to be normal sometimes, I just want to break away from all this internal drama.
But that little voice in my head says that all of this parental guidance and acting classes are going to pay up some time or or another; even if that someday seems to so far away from today.
I'll just have to keep waiting and believing that that someday will come soon and I'll make it to Hollywood.
Present Day...
"Hey, Camille, um... will... you, go to... the... dance, with... me..?" Logan asks me in the saddest little failed voice.
I could tell James was back behind that flower bed, and I knew it was a queue card he was holding, so I pulled off my shoe and knocked him out cold.
"Logan, you may not believe this, but this is my first dance and I've never been asked out before... I'm not asking for a prince to ride up in a horse or anything, just something with a little more flare. Not by queue cards." I tell him, patting his shoulder.
It's true...I really have never been asked out before. I left Connecticut in the spring of my sophomore year of high school to come play a small role in an old TV show that really never aired, and since then my career has been slowly building up. I've landed a few good roles, but nothing that good yet. I'm working on it; pretty soon I'll get a big movie producer to pick me up to play in a great movie. That's when I'll show all of those annoying old kids that went to middle school with me who never believed I could make it. I just can't wait to see their shocked faces...Sometimes I wonder what happened to them after I left. I wonder if they miss me or if they didn't even notice my leaving.
But they're all the past now, the Palm Woods is my life. Everyone here is special and talented, all in their own ways. No one judges anyone for their looks or anything - aside from the Jennifers - and we all co-exist peacefully. I like that, I like a life of equality.
I like Logan, he's just so quirky and charming. I love his little smile and his short brown hair and his cute style in fashion. I just don't know what I'm feeling for him yet, its like a silver lining. He's cute and lovable, and is always there for me, but none of my feelings toward him are clear. Everything is blurred from all the other pressures of acting and drama, so technically, nothing is clear in LA. But who cares, people like Logan and his guy friends keep me company and add a flare to my constantly busy life here on the west. I don't know what id do without boys like them.
And everyone back home was right, Andrew was never genuine like these Minnesota hockey players, Andrew was a jerk and is probably struggling in life right now, knocking up sleazy girls and getting detention in school everyday. Heck, he might have even dropped out. I can't believe I even wasted my life stressing out on him, that dirty moron. My life without him is so much better now, and hopefully my future has Logan somewhere in its tracks.
"I can't BELIEVE Kendall didn't ask me to the dance!" Jo said, clearly bummed.
"Ha, Logan tried asking me, but he is really horrible at it." I said, making a silly face.
The dance is great, the boys really did a great job pulling all this together actually. Theres lights and snacks and fancy decorations all around; so much better than what Bitters might have offered by a long-shot. The only problem is- where are the guys? I know Carlos was being pressured by the Jennifers, but got pulled out by Stephanie, but Logan, James, and Kendall are no where to be seen. Hm...
I walk around, seeing everyone with their dates and being all smoochy and romantic. Thats another thing I've never experienced; I've never felt what it was like to actually kiss a boy or be a guy's girlfriend, its just so foreign to me.
I continue my lost-in-space walk around until a commotion builds up while everyone clears out of the isle.
"Is that...Logan? On a horse?" Jo says.
Turning back, I look. It really is Logan on a silly make-shift horse, probably with Kendall, Carlos, and James inside because I can hear their complaining whispers.
"My lady, would you please accompany me, to the Dance?" Logan says in a fancy royal accent.
"SAY YES!" I hear the other guys yell from the inside of the costume horse.
I almost burst out laughing before I can answer, "HECK YEAH I WILL!" and take Logan's hand as he pulls me atop his 'horse'. I can hear the guys grunt underneath.
"ON FORTH TRUSTY STEED!" Logan says humorously, slapping what seemed to be Kendall, coming from the scream. I playfully hit the side of the horse, which proved to be James.
Logan and i rode off, laughing att his embarrassment of an act.
And for the first time in a long time, I'm elated.
A/N- Well, this is my first attempt at a Logan/Camille fix, and I'm satisfied :) And yeah, everything before 'Present Day' is based upon my own life experience. Crazy, right? Yeah. It is. But TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF IT...and you can criticize it if you think it needs criticism, I don't mind ^_^
And for you readers out there who read my James/Eliza stories 'Falling For The Enemy' or 'From This Day Forward', then you should know that its gonna be hard for me to update cuz I have had a tight schedule lately. Sorry :( But if you haven't read those stories but you liked this one, then I will GUARANTEE that you will LOVE those fics :) Well, bye. Leave a review as to so kind :D - DiamondDrop694