Spread Me Further
Pairing: Tony/OC (Fiona, or whatever name you want to use! All these one-shots were originally reader-inserts.)
"No! Tony! Nooo!"
"C'mon, babe. It's not that hard."
"It is that hard. You have to make sure it's wide enough first! You can't just ram it in! Now stop it, let me concentrate."
"No kidding, you need to relax."
"This wouldn't be so difficult if you'd just let me breath."
"And then I can put it in?"
"... Yes. And then you can put it in."
A white faced Bruce Banner stood outside one of Tony's many labs as he heard Fiona's exasperated sigh from within. His hand had been on the handle, ready to open the door, until he heard the yelling from inside the lab. Instantly, he turned around and headed towards the bar. Just the idea of Fiona in Tony's arms was shocking to as he left the vicinity with a dazed look.
Natasha came up behind the good doctor, about to ask him a question until he saw the look on his face. He hadn't even acknowledged her presence as he walked right past her. It was at that point, with an eyebrow raised, that the door to the lab was opened.
A disheveled looking billionaire, playboy, philanthropist popped his head out of the door. "Hey! Nat," he greeted and looked around her. "Where's Bruce?"
With a curious glance at Tony, Natasha noticed all the dirt that covered said Iron Man's body. She pointed behind herself as Fiona's smaller form peeked out from behind, which Nat noticed, also covered in dirt.
"Where's Bruce? I need that soil for the Chrysanthemum," exclaimed Fiona.
Shrugging, and deciding not to ask any questions, Natasha left the two weirdos alone to their planting.
Hahahaha. Crackfic. I couldn't help myself. Who best to talk dirty with than with my partner in crime?
and Who wouldn't want Tony Stark as their perverted BFF? Lol.
All rights to their respective owners. All I own is the plot.
Originally posted on June 22, 2015 on DeviantArt. These are all cheats that I never transferred onto ffnet, so I'm sorry in advance for blowing up your feed.