A/N: Oh, this couple. Death is cheap on The Vampire Diaries and I haven't given up hope that Kai may return next season. The dynamic between Bonnie and Kai was intriguing and the chemistry between the actors is amazing. A lot of potential in this pairing and potential for the two characters to develop alongside each other. Plus, it's quite a ride to put myself in Kai's head and try to make sense of what he may be feeling. Putting Kai and Bonnie aside, Bonnie is long overdue to truly have her own storyline and opportunity for character development. I've wanted to see more focus on her for a long time.
He looked at her lying on the bed in front of him. He was still wearing the coat that he had on during the blistery weeks where she left him behind. Kai smiled as he thought about that moment, when she was looking at him as she vanished with her friends. The sky reflecting beautiful colors at him as he sunk down in distress. He remembered panic coming out from the his throat and taking over all of his limbs, that intense fear not new to him. He seethed thinking about the flash of light that took Bonnie and them away. He still had a scar from her knife. He had fixed her up, that one time. Where was her goodness? Forgiveness? She deserted him. And Kai thought about Bonnie every day. Replaying their conversations after she got back to Mystic Falls, how she talked to him at that coffee shop. Him trying to reach out to her. She said she believed him and saw the good in him and then she stabbed him. It didn't make sense.
Slicing through him he could understand on some level. Anger naturally came out in violence and not words. It worked, didn't it, to injure someone when he hurt you. Impulsive reaction. But he had been trying to get to her. He apologized to her. He couldn't understand that she didn't want to be around him but he was willing to give it time. He did quickly feel exasperated after she came back from the prison world and continued to stay away from him he knew she wouldn't leave Mystic Falls. And he wasn't going to go far from her. Not until he figured out what was going on with the way she made his body feel when she was around like the control of his movements was taken away from him. The way she flew through his mind leaving chaos behind, even when she wasn't there. She left him to die. Quiet and punctuated rage started surfacing in him and he looked away from her.
It was warm in this room. Too warm for this coat. He was relieved to find none of the other beds occupied. But he knew no one else would stop him even if he and Bonnie weren't alone. He had thought out what he would do when he saw her again, what he would say, how she would look at him, feeling her tug and pull. He had felt something from her. He didn't know what it was. And he didn't know now what was going on with him. His body just reacted differently to her than to other people. He and Bonnie spent a lot of time together in the prison world and he was intrigued by this woman who he couldn't understand. Whose drive led her to make choices he wouldn't consider. When he came back to present day he was curious to meet other women. First he could only see the merge. But after it, when he no longer had just one goal, he observed and talked with other women. He was attracted and intrigued, and he still wanted to be around Bonnie. He'd still end up in the same room as her.
He no longer wanted to explore how she made him feel. He didn't need to feel his stomach sinking, feel his cheeks growing hot when she crossed his mind. Feeling the surface of his skin tense when they stepped closer to one another. Wanting her closer. These physical reactions made his thoughts scatter and he got careless. He'd have to remember to keep distance from her when he'd come back for her, when he'd be ready to start it. He shoved those thoughts, bothered again that he got distracted. He was left with a cascading push to hurt her. This feeling was familiar. That was comforting.
He started undoing his coat buttons, tensing as he thought he heard foot steps from the hallway. He thought it may be Lilly, impatient to wait for him to get back. But it grew quiet again. He did not expect to see Bonnie quite yet. He had a few matters to finish with Lily first and that could take some time. He didn't think a person could be more fixated on something as he was on getting vengeance. Getting her friends back... She just couldn't stop talking about it. He'd have some fun with Lily too before he showed her her friends. But though he expected to see Bonnie only the next day, he found himself led to her, to find her. Just to have a moment. Not that her location was difficult to figure out. Of course she'd be in her room. Where were all her friends who she was so ready to sacrifice herself for... He walked closer to the end of her bed. She may surprise him, he thought. In a second push herself up the sheets and motus him against a wall. And it would take away from the pleasure of watching her face as he revealed himself to her. When she'd realize her plan failed and he was back.
He took in the sight of her, taking his time. Nothing but time. Fire reflecting on her brown skin. Her tank top, her bra. He couldn't quite believe she slept with her bra. Couldn't be comfortable. Her breathing. Something about it. Almost comforting. Fire snapping at him, goading him.
His stomach sank and he held in his breathe. He mechanically put his coat over the empty bed across from hers. Not sure what he was doing anymore. Fury gnawing at him that he wouldn't leave or wouldn't just start their confrontation now. He went over to the empty side of Bonnie's bed, her back to him, and he slid off his shoes. He put one knee on the bed and slid on, over the blanket, the mattress moving under his weight. He paused and heard only his and her breathing. His mind asking him what he was doing. What was drawing him to this woman. She wasn't doing anything and his body shut down and erupted at the same time. Empty, hot waves pulsated inside him and he heard himself scream at her and saw her face contorting back at him as his anger dissolved to mental exhaustion. Wanting to be anywhere but in this room he lied down, leaving a little space between them.
He looked her over, his body pushing him to silently and quickly take her life with his hands while pushing him to relish her beautiful skin. Her body fascinated him. Her smell. His body relaxed and forced him to stay still. He wanted to grab her arm. He remembered how he had grabbed both her arms to take her magic. Before she had killed him that one time. He had sucked in her magic and it felt electrifying to gulp that energy from her. Afterwards she staunchly met his eyes. He liked that. Their bodies taking pause from their exchange. Surprise washing him to still feel tense afterwards and though a part of him hesitated he didn't want to look away from her. He wanted more. He felt his breathe quicken, his lips tighten, waves engulfing him as she just lay there. No, he would hurt her as she looked him in the eyes. She wouldn't look away. He respected that.
He saw goosebumps on her skin and something inside him pulled. He must be coming down with something. Felt like his insides were going to burn. A memory filled his eyes. Seeing her warmth towards Damon. Kai feeling something from her. Without wanting to, his mind again tried to work out why she left him. True she had killed him before. He had thought he killed her when he left the prison world. He didn't care either way. She was hell bent to stop him from getting out. He had to punish her for that. But he changed. He wanted to show her...
She moved her left arm, exposing her waist, and he reacted without thought, sliding smoothly behind her, cocooning her body and wrapping his arm around her until he wrapped her completely. Her skin hummed with her magic and he felt a rush as his arm, his chest, his pelvis, every part of his body touching her bristled as the magic entered his pores. He resisted taking much. A little magic siphoning a dream could explain, the way a car alarm turned into a bird's call. Bonnie moved her arm and rested it above his and his body screamed at him "Now what?" It was hard for him to stay still like this. Not to crush her with his arm. Not to wake her up in bed with him and trap her in place. The thought made him feel almost giddy. He couldn't stop himself from squeezing her close to him.
He didn't want to wake her yet. He'd be patient. It'd take time to show her what happened when a person betrayed him. And her of all people, someone he was feeling all weird about. Leaving him. Bonnie pushed against Kai and fit her body to meld with his. His mind continued to careen. After he told her he changed, after he apologized. He just couldn't get the same thought out of his head. He couldn't stop from going over it in his mind, not understanding how she left him to die. He couldn't get answers and he didn't want them. He knew what it was like to be imprisoned and knew she wouldn't come back for him.
She felt so warm it soothed him. He closed his eyes, not able to resist moving his hands gently on her stomach. She responded by turning around and settling her face a few inches from his. He smiled. He expected her to open her eyes but they remained closed. A deep sleeper. He timed his visit well. He looked at her, studying her face, a little surprised he didn't feel anything. No surge of warmth, nothing that he felt when he was trying to apologize to her at the club, or walking with her in the snow... He took a deep breathe to stop him from crushing her. But she was so close. He breathed her in. He didn't want to leave. He continued to stare at her face, remembering what it felt like when they looked at each other at Salvatore's house. Even when they were at the coffee shop. She had looked straight into his eyes. How he chose again and again to stand close to her just to feel his body react, these spikes shooting inside him without coming to a resolution. Kai's arm was still around her waist and he loved that he was getting away with touching Bonnie.
He sensed her becoming restless. She was making sounds as if trying to respond to someone in her dream. He moved his hand from her waist and drew his fingers over her cheek slowly. It was time to get going. He got up, still facing her, his hands and feet pushing him off the bed. Looking for movement. As she moved more his body ignited. He almost jumped at her. But instead he slid into his shoes and grabbed his coat. Kai knew Bonnie felt him. She'd soon again. She turned her back to him a final time as he disappeared, wondering if he could recall the spell to pay her a last small visit in her dream himself.
Either way. He would wait to see her again. To face her. He knew it would be disastrously beautiful. Even if he killed her, she would only feel a little of what he felt when she left him. He didn't know another way to figure this out, to go about making sense of what happened. He came back to hurt everyone who wronged him and he had special plans for the person he cared about the most before he found himself alone in that wintery hell. He couldn't hesitate and he didn't want to. He'd figure out how to move forward after everything collapsed. And somehow he knew she'd be the last thing he sees.