Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I do, however, own the theme of this story and the stupid little myth/conversation.
Warning: Stupidity, randomness, and confusion. No real plot... I don't think. Some minor shonen ai (guy/guy hints) and maybe profanity. An angst warning, I guess? And, as always, major OOC warning. T.T
Author's Note: I think this might become a series/group of fics. (With "Blue Moon" and a few others) I'm starting to write a lot of Kurama-POV story tale/legend things. I guess it's because of Kurama's age and history, he's bound to have heard strange little tales. I'll probably do a Hiei POV one some day, too. Once again, like in "Blue Moon", this is entirely my own idea, and, therefore, strange, confusing, and idiotic. Also, I am not talking about Shiori when I say Kurama's mom. I am making reference to Kurama's youko mother.
Dedication: Oh, I know. I'm still on my 'Writing Break', but this *HAD* to be written. It's my koi's birthday present! -Smooches Calli- AISHITERUYO, CALLI-KOI! Everybody IM her and wish her a great birthday ^.~ (Sept.12.) I'll probably be fully back to fan fiction in a few months, or a year ^^. Oh, and don't worry. She won't mind that her present's angst. She loves angst XD.
Anyways! Enjoy!
~*~
My Mom used to have a jewel on a chain, looped around her neck.
It was orange and yellow and tinted with the most beautiful red.
It has a disgusting bug in it though.
One day, when she was braiding my hair and humming things in my ear, the pendant brushed my neck, and I asked her what the bug was doing in the jewel.
She smiled at me, and said, "Well, beautiful," she always started with that. She said it was because I was beautiful. I didn't really know what beautiful was, but people called her beautiful, so I knew it was good thing. She says I looked like my Dad, so she always said "Well, beautiful..."
This time she said, "Well, beautiful, it's not really a jewel... it's tree sap."
I was confused, and I asked her what tree sap was. She said,
"It's the tree's tears, honey."
So I thought a little, then laughed and said,
"Silly Mommy, tree's don't cry! They don't have eyes!"
She chuckled a bit, I loved her voice. It was so smooth but not too greasy like other peoples'. It was so natural and flowing, and I loved it.
"I suppose you're right, honey. You got me there. But let's just say that the tree did have eyes and it did cry, its tears would be called sap."
"But it doesn't."
"Imagine, can you do that?"
"I can try." Now that I think of it, as a youko, she probably could have made the tree cry.
"That's my boy. So smart." And I smiled. I loved it when she called me smart. She made me feel so big and grown up. Which I was far from.
"Well, the tree's tears are sticky..."
"Like sweat?"
"A little."
"Then why can't we imagine the tree sweats?"
"Because it's too pretty to be sweat, ne?"
"You're right. You're so smart, too, Mommy."
"Thank you, lovely."
"So, what if the tree cries? Does someone make it happy?"
"Nobody can stop the tree from crying." And now that I think of it, she probably could have made it stop crying, too.
"That's sad, doesn't anyone care? Like you do when I cry?"
"I guess, you could say this little bug cared." She pointed at the bug and picked the 'tree tear' up with her thumb and pointer finger, gently, gently, and closer to my face.
"Then why did the tree catch it? Wasn't it its friend?"
"It was." Her hands started braiding my hair again.
"Then what happened?"
"The tree's tears were sticky and the bug got caught in them. Then the tears dried a little and became hard, like candy, get it?"
"But why didn't the tree help the bug?"
"It couldn't, lovely."
"But that's so horrible!"
And she frowned because I was crying. She always frowned when I cried. But it made me even sadder because I thought, 'Doesn't anyone frown for the bug and the tree when they're sad?' Then, she got her idea smile. She had that smile when she figured out how to make the bug bite stop itching. She worked magic when she had that smile.
"Well, honey. In a way, the tree was doing the bug a favor."
"How? The bug was trapped!" Like those poor slaves at the auction. I wanted to help them, to buy one, then set it free, but she said we couldn't give them any money. She said we didn't have enough to spare. And once, I asked her where she got the jewel, because jewels were worth lots of money and only rulers had them. (Even if I did learn otherwise in my later years) Then, she smiled. Her eyes were like the sun, like the clouds had just moved. She smiled and she said that my Father had given it to her. That he had left it for her. And I wanted to ask more, but her smile went away, and she looked sad for a second, then continued talking.
"But you see, this bug and this sap was from thousands of years ago..."
"Thousands?"
"Yes. Lots and lots of years ago."
"Before granddaddy was born?"
"Yes, before granddaddy was born."
"That's a long time ago, ne?" I scrunched my nose up and she chucked again, and I still remember her voice.
"A long, long time ago."
"So how's the bug happy that it's been trapped for so long?"
"Well, this little bug would have gone to heaven long ago, but because of the tree's sap, it's still here."
"It's alive in there?" How horrible!
"No, no, just its body."
"Oh."
"You see, we can look at its beauty," an icky bug? "even today, even thousands of years later, and scientists..."
"Scientists?"
"It's a ningen term for people who study science. They can figure things out about our past."
"Oh."
"Isn't it wonderful? Just through this little bug, and we can find out about our ancestors!"
"Oh."
"It's immortalized forever."
"Oh."
That bug died for his friend, and is just used.
I don't think it's wonderful.
It's 'immortal', but its body just shows its death. To have to remember the tree's betrayal forever.
But I won't cry.
I won't ever cry again.
...I don't think it's wonderful.
He left a few hours ago.
The light's starting to trickle in through the window and I don't care. I don't care that the window's open on a winter day, I don't care that my lips have turned blue and my body is shaking. I don't care, about anything. I just don't.
He was so angry.
"What's *wrong*?! Why don't you talk?"
Funny, I imagined him the last one criticizing me on my lack of words.
"You don't trust me, do you?"
Do you trust me?
"Fine! I didn't believe in this whole 'friendship' bullshit anyways!"
And now I'm chuckling because I think, that's the longest sentence he's spoken to me.
"Damn it, Kurama!"
Clink.
And he was gone.
And a few moments later, I noticed a little black gem at my feet. Just barely inside. Sitting near my windowsill.
I picked it up, and stared at it.
A tear gem.
He just wanted to know what was bothering me.
I wanted to tell him.
It was you, I want you. I don't know how to tell you, will you reject me?
But I was choking inside and the words just disappeared as he stared at me with those burning eyes.
I love you. I love you. I love you. But what can I say? I'm so scared...
And now that I think about it, I remember seeing his eyes water a bit as he glared at me.
"I just want to help you..."
I find my legs carrying me to my desk. Beneath my text books, hidden in a silk black bag, a silver fox embroidered in the corner... I see the 'tree tear' staring back at me, and the bug that's muted forever seems to buzz in my ear...
And I'm startled as my own voice yells so loud that birds take off outside the window, and my shivering blue tinted arm flexes and pulls back, then my hands slam back on the windowsill...
And the beautiful 'tear' shatters like a real teardrop hitting the floor...
And I'm laughing. All I know is that I'm laughing.
But even as the wind blows those shards away, I can still feel another 'tear' prickling my hand.
And now, as I look at it, I wonder...
Clink
Nee, Hiei...
Who was the tree, and who was the bug?
Buzzzzz...
~*~
THE END.
Tear gem: When koorime (Hiei/Yukina's breed of youkai) cry, their tears condense into gems.
I wrote the first part of this story (Kurama's past) under these settings: Kurama's original mother was alive for a while, but died later (which is why he had the amber), Kurama's father is either dead or just abaondoned them/is gone, Kurama used to be innocent (No, you didn't read wrong, he did say 'Icky').
As unrealistic as it is, that is my setting for this story, and I'm sticking to it.
If you hadn't noticed, Hiei was demanding what was wrong with Kurama because Kurama had been acting awkward in front of him. Hiei had been worried, asked what was wrong, and felt betrayed when Kurama had refused (couldn't) tell him.
As for the last sentence? You'll have to figure that out yourself ^.~
Hugs to Crescent-sempai for beta reading this fic on short notice ^.^
Anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KOI! I hope you liked your present!
R&R Onegai ^^