Couples Therapy 4

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC. I own Farrah/Persiana .

One Shot

A purple-clad heroine with a crossbow and a face-less man in a trench coat and hat were sitting across from the white-furred sex therapist Persiana. The faceless man was Question, real name Vic Sage, and the cross bow user was Huntress, real name Helena Bertinelli.

Huntress folded her arms,

"I can't believe I am this desperate enough to go to the most insane member of the Justice League for help."
Question studied the diplomas,

"I had no idea you could get a degree for insanity."

Helena grumbled,

"In Farrah's case, she has several degrees, many of which have yet to be discovered."

Farrah adjusted her glasses,

"Oh, come on. I'm not as crazy as people make me out to be. Right?"

Huntress and Question could only stare at the cat-girl. Persiana shrugged,

"Whatever. Now, you two wanted to talk to me about something?"

The paranoid detective asked,

"Do you know that fluoride was introduced into soda so that soda corporations would make people want to drink more of it?"

Huntress and Persiana both blinked at that. The were-lioness smirked,

"I'm glad I'm a milk drinker then."

Question spun around,

"Did you know that the addictive combination of milk and cookies is caused by enzymes found in both foods that cause people to buy more, cheaper brand cookies and knock-offs of originals? Why do you think there are so many flavors of chocolate chip cookies out there?"

Farrah opened her mouth to say something, but shook her head,

"Never mind. Let's get to why we're here."
Helena ordered,

"Sit down, Q."

Question knew that look and immediately took his seat.

There was an uneasy silence, which was finally broken by Huntress,

"We're here to discuss Q's…problem."

The lioness therapist took notes,

"What sort of problem?"
Helena explained,

"Yesterday, I caught Q snooping through Vixen's trash."
Farrah looked at the paranoid detective,

"Is there something you want to say about that, Question?"

Question nodded,

"I didn't go through Vixen's trash; I go through everybody's trash. Like that time I found an old discarded film case. I later discovered Guy and Booster were trying to video tape Donna and Kara in the shower."

Farrah smirked,

"So, that's how those two ended up washing every Javelin with a tooth brush, after they got out of the infirmary."

Huntress shook her head,

"Idiot perverts."

Question continued,

"Or that time I found out Miss Marvel ate all those candy bars. She's been working real hard to lose all that excess weight."

Farrah instantly beamed,

"Really? Thanks for telling me that."
She began to rub her hands evilly. Huntress groaned,

"You shouldn't have told her that, Q. Now, she is going to formulate some evil plan to extort money from her."

Farrah shrugged,

"Sue me. But, seriously, Q; why do you go through people's trash?"
Question stood up on his chair,

"To expose the conspiracy that plagues humanity! To stop the Illuminati from ruling the world!"

The sound of crickets chirping could be heard for a few minutes after that. Farrah looked at Huntress,

"Have you given some thought into dressing up like a school girl and hit him with a ruler?"

The archer shook her head,

"The thought had crossed my mind."

Question sat back down,

"I happen to be the sane one in this relationship."
Farrah grinned,

"This'll be good."

Helena placed he hands on her hips,

"Excuse me? Since when?"

Question said,

"Remember that time you did the splits and accidentally kicked Green Arrow in front of Black Canary during training?"

Helena was stunned,

"That was a complete accident!"

Farrah smiled,

"Was it, Helena? I've seen the way you two look at each other. You'd make such an adorable couple."

Huntress countered,

"Like you and Donna?"

At this, the lioness quickly shut up.

Question continued,

"You also sent those love letters to Ollie, and when Dinah found out, you two had a cat-fight!"

Huntress stood up,

"Look who's talking, Mr. I-Poke-Around-Everybody's-Trash-To-Find-A-Conspiracy-Man!"

The furry therapist shouted,

"Enough!"

The two heroes looked at the fuzzy heroine. Farrah calmed down and said,

"The two of you are having serious sexual tensions. Huntress, you equate what Question is doing as unfaithful, so you seek the attention of a man who is beneath you to counteract your own insecurities."
Both heroes blinked at that. Farrah continued,

"Furthermore, Question is a man who has too much willpower to resist Huntress' lustful, slutty charms."
Huntress stood up, slamming her fist on the desk,

" 'Slutty Charms'? Where do you get off saying that?"

The lioness adjusted his glasses,

"The point is you two are so madly in love with each other, yet you two don't know how to have sex."

Helena raised her eyebrow,

"Oh, really?"
She grabbed Question and threw him on the couch,

"We'll see about that."

She jumped on top and began to rip his clothes off, much to the detective's protest,

"Good God, Helena! They got to you! The conspiracy got to you!"

Farrah grinned,

"This ought to be good."

She set up a camera,

"So, I wonder how much Flash and Guy would pay to see this."

Farrah then blinked,

"Wow, and I thought I was flexible."

End of One Shot

Disclaimer: The points raised in this one-shot are not shared by this viewer.