Rapunzel Play
With a twist
Narrorator: Once upon a time there was a ditzy mother...
Mother: Hi!
Narrorator: ...and a jock of a father...
Father: Hey. Sup?
Narrorator: ...who were going to have a child. One day, the mother was walking through a garden, she didn't know whose, when she found a honeysuckle. So she decided to try one.
Mother: Mmmmmm...these are good.
Narrorator: Little did she know that the honeysuckle's were magical. Once she put one in her mouth, she would want more and more. A few weeks later, she was in bed because she is pregnant and she was due soon. So she sent her husband to go get her more honeysuckle's.
Mother: (in a shrill voice)Get me some honeysuckle's!
Father: Yes dear.
Narrorator: Well this occurred for weeks on end. One day the dad got caught by the witch. The witch was a mean, old, crabby, New York, lady.
Witch: You incompetant oaf! I'll turn you into a frog.
Father: No! I wont be sexy anymore! I mean, I was just getting my pregnant wife some honeysuckle's. I'll do anything to shut her up.
Witch: Anything?
Father: Anything.
Witch: You do know you're in a fairy tale, right?
Father: Listen, my wife's hormones are going wacko. I'll do whatever it takes to shut her up.
Witch: You must give me your new baby girl.
Father: Well I don't know if...wait a minute, how do you know it's a girl?
Witch: (sigh) This is a fairy tale and I'm a witch. What more do you want?
Father: Proof of wizarding doctrine.
Narrorator: Well the witch whipped out her PWD and the father was forced to agree. So the baby was born and, as the agreement was, was given to the witch. 20 years later, Rapunzel, the now grown up baby girl, was the most beautiful girl in the kingdom, but not as pretty as Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. The girls hair was blonde and very, very, very long. Everyday the witch would say...
Witch: Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair
Little Pig: Not by the hair of my chinney chin chin.
Witch: Wrong story.
Little Pig: Oh! Sorry.
Narrorator: So Rapunzel let her long hair down from the 18 ft. tower. This was going on since she has been 10. One day a prince was riding in the forest.
Prince: I'm a prince riding in the forest.
Narrorator: And the prince heard the witch say...
Witch: Rapunzel, Rapunzel...
Another Little Pig: Did you see where my brother went?
Witch: He went that way.
Another Little Pig: Thanks
Witch: Where was I? Oh yes. Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.
Narrorator: The prince saw a big lump of hair falling from the sky and got scared.
Prince: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (aside) That was my scared face. Did you like it? Some people think...
Narrorator: Ah-hem
Prince: Oh! Sorry. Ahhhh!
Narrorator: Actors! Anyway, the Prince saw Rapunzel and thought she was as beautiful as his mother Aurora, a.k.a. Sleeping Beauty. So he waited until night to try what the witch had just done. When the witch climbed down the hair and left, the prince said...
Prince: So what was it she said? Dang my memory.
Goldilocks: Try...Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.
Prince: Thanks but who are you?
Goldilocks: I'm Goldilocks. Well gtg to my own story.
Prince: Alright lets try that. Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.
Rapunzel: What did you forget this time?
Narrorator: So Rapunzel let down her hair. When the Prince got up on the tower window Rapunzel screamed...Rapunzel Screamed...RAPUNZEL SCREAMED.
Rapunzel: Oh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Prince: Don't scream. I'm the prince.
Rapunzel: You shouldn't by here. The witch will find and turn you into a frog.
Prince: Don't worry my dear. She can not turn me into a frog...Wait! She can turn me into a frog? That wasn't in the contract.
Narrorator: You don't get turned into a frog.
Prince: Oh! Hehehe. She cannot turn me into a frog because we have true love. I will leave now but I'll return tomorrow.
Narrorator: Rapunzel was amazed with the conversations they had about politics, books, movies, and unicorns. Yes, the prince was a smart lad. Well months past and the witch noticed something different about Rapunzel.
Witch: What's wrong with Rapunzel?
Narrorator: So one night, after the witch had left, she hid in the bushes. She saw the prince calling to Rapunzel and got angry. So, the next day, the witch got up really early and went to Rapunzel's tower. She stayed in the tower until she heard the prince say...
Prince: Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your lucious locks.
Narrorator: When the prince got to the top of the tower, the witch was on the windowsill instead of Rapunzel. The witch was holding Rapunzel's hair, now cut off.
Witch: You got Rapunzel pregnant!
Prince: What are you talking about?
Rapunzel: How in the world could you know I am pregnant when I didn't even know I was pregnant?
Witch: You're just as bad as your father. (sighs) I'm a witch, this is a fairy tale, and you two will live happily ever after.
Prince: I actually knew that.
Witch: Now I have to let goof the hair.
Rapunzel: Nooooo!
Narrorator: Rapunzel pushed the witch out the window.
Prince: Thanks dear.
Witch: That wasn't part of the script!
Narrorator: Well, the witch died...
Witch: What? Dang you Grimm Brothers!
Narrorator:...Rapunzel and the prince lived happily ever after...
Rapunzel: Finally.
Prince: Is she really pregnant?
Narrorator: I'm getting to that. Ah-hem. And they had a baby girl named Ella, later changed to Cinderella.
The End