WHAT THE HECK? Okay, so there was a major malfunction with the last chapter one, and no one pointed it out to me, and I felt really stupid when I found it. Wthat I did was, I deleted some other story I had, because my new story button wasn't working. It was some Halloween thing, and I didn't take down the first chapter, so it was still the other Halloween thing. Anyways, I'm sorry times two thousand, and this is the real chapter one.

Chapter one. Empty.

I was nothing, empty, unloved and unwanted. I'd always been a pest, someone no one bothered to care about. I always knew this would happen. I always knew Edward was a fairy tale and he was going to go poof when my fairy godmother decided I had enough happiness for one lifetime. In a way, she was correct, but that didn't mean I wanted it to end. Life would be better if I had a twinge of something to live for, something to look forward to when I snapped my eyes opened in the morning, worth getting out of bed for. Of course, there was Charlie, but I lived for him out of gilt, not for myself. He would die if I wasn't alive anymore, he couldn't take care of himself. He was hardly someone who comforted me as hard as that is to say.

Here I was, miserably pulling my white socks onto my ankle before my sneakers. I tucked a loose hair behind my ear so it wouldn't cloud my vision. I looked out the window once, something that just added to my misery. The cold weather always made me tired and at a loss of energy. I mentally laughed, I wasn't all that energetic in the first place, taking something from an already negative must leave me really low.

I took my sad little backpack out of the corner of the room where my desk was. I unzipped it quickly, checking for all my binders, notebooks, and textbooks. I had it all there, which wasn't surprising. All of my stuff was organized, the product of a slow social life (all twilight fans will recognize this line for sure!]. It was a good distraction, a way to escape reality and dwell onto another problem in my life-sloppiness. I hadn't realized how disorganized my room always was, along with my drawers and my desk. It was embarrassing-so I'd nipped that problem and never went back-just like he was. Ugh, why did everything I do always remind me of him? Just before I left my room, I looked at my computer. Emailing was something my mother did frequently, it was hard since the computer was so dang slow.

I trudged down the stairs, and saw Charlie pushing a clear substance around a yolk back and forth in the pan. "Hey Bells." He mumbled. He hadn't gotten used to my never cheery moods, and the worst part was that I saw it slowly rubbing off on him.

"Dad, what would you say if I asked for a laptop?" He looked shocked. I usually never gave him more than one word answers, and I usually never talked unless spoken too. This one sentence contained more words than the sum of my responses over the span of a week.

"I'd say sure." His eyes were bright and his tone was a little too excited.

"Dad, can I have a laptop?"

"Sure." That was dumb of me, but I felt like I needed to officially ask. YHe was clinging to whatever he thought would make me happy now-a-days.

"I'll pick it up for you and have it ready afterschool. We can get wifi too." He said.

"No, we really don't need that." I ensured him.

"If your getting a new computer, I'm throwing the dinasour away-you'll need the internet. Bells, I barely get you anything. You never shop like a normal teenage girl, let me do this." I tried to ignore the fact that he called me not-normal. I nodded once before grabbing my keys and climbing into my truck, hungry. I didn't want to re-enter and eat something, I was used to that empty feeling In the pit of my stomach.

….

School was the same, something I had gotten used to. It was no longer a place to learn, like it was meant for. It was a chance to exercise social skills with other miserable adults our age trying to get through life. I was failing in that department, but acing the 'learning' experience.

There was a note taped to the door. "Hi Bells, working late tonight, won't be home 'till midnight or later. Sorry. P.S check the kitchen table." I sighed, Charlie shouldn't have left this note on the door, he could have left it on the table I would have found it. Leaving it out in the open was practically saying 'no ones home, we have nice things, steal them please.'.

I ripped the note off and slipped my key into the lock, turning until I felt the click. I pushed open the door, and looked towards the dining room table. Surely enough, there was a box with a bow on top-a little elaborate and it only reminded me of..I tore the bow off quickly and left it on the ground. The box was a simple white, with the typical print labeling the new computer as 'Dell inspiron, 17.5 inches long," It was a nice blue color, and in the middle was the signature 'Dell' symbol, the circle with the slanted 'E' inside the word Dell. I opened the top of the cardboard box, cringing at the sound. Then I slid out the heavy computer. I could tell Charlie already opened it and set it up-only to place it back into the box for dramatic effect. Fingerprints already marked the top of the lovely thing, Charlie's careless mistakes. I opened it, guessing the batter was already in. I pushed the oval in the top left corner with the circle and the line descending out the top-the typical power button. It glowed white and a couple different loading screens were shown, and then finally a blue background, with the name 'Bella' scratched in as the user. I clicked on the password, wondering what Charlie had set it as. I clicked 'password hint'. I laughing a little, the password was 'ABC123'. Guess we're back to kindergarten. I typed in the temporary password, and the screen changed to 'Welcome back Bella.' The background was some flowery and heart arrangement, typical girly stuff that a stereotype father would set for a daughter. I clicked the 'e' with the hovering yellow ring around it. The google screen appeared quickly, so quick that it made me jump. The line in the search bar blinked impatiently, wondering what I wanted to know, challenging me. I hit google images, in search of a better background. I knew I was going to regret what I did next, but I dared myself to it anyways.

'Grand piano'I looked through the glossy back covers with the magical white keys underneath. I clicked on one particular picture that seemed familiar to me eyes, and right clicked. I chose to set it as my background. The thing asked me if I was sure. I didn't know honestly, but I hit yes anyway.

I hit the red x and pressed the start button. I chose to go on windows mail, I wondered if Charlie set that up too. He did, but that shouldn't surprise me considering that it was under a category named 'Recently used programs'. I had two blinking messages, one I had already read but just not on this user.

I clicked on the newest one. From 'Mom'.

"Hi Bella! Your dad told me he bought you a computer! That's great, now you have no excuse to not talk to me anymore! Love you, Mom."

I started to compose my letter. "Yeah, I figured this would be easier. How's Phil; hadn't heard from him in a while. Love you too, Bella." I re-read this after it was sent. I was all to right. I hadn't heard about him or from him in a while, and never-ever would again.

I shut the heavy lid and brought the computer to my room. I laughed, the desk was already cleared of the old dusty computer, ready for the new one. I placed it down gently and pulled down the zipper to my bag. I read my agenda book, searching for any assignments. I had an essay due Wednesday, and a biology paper tomorrow. I dreaded biology, sitting alone in my already isolated world. It was just another factor that he overlooked when making the statement 'like I never existed' come true. It was the only thing he ever failed at, and the most important failure of my life. I was a failure.

…

I finished my too-easy papers and went back to the laptop. I typed in the idiotic password and saw the piano that stretch across the screen. I swear I heard a rib break, and just like that I was hunched over in my too-familiar position. My back moaned in protest, not liking being bent over so extremely. I tried to sit up, but recoiled back every time. Finally, I forced myself to straighten in the chair. I looked back up at the screen, and clicked on the email icon. It had been two hours, maybe Renee had responded already.

Surely enough, there was a buzzing envelope waiting for me.

"Hello again! I know-I haven't really talked about Phil have I? Well, he's doing good, the season's been rough because he got a sprained ankle doing some housework, which sounds pretty stupid I know. What's going on with you hun? What have you been doing lately? Love you, Mom."

If I could only contact him, tell him something, hear his voice once more I'd be okay. I kept thinking. This thought sprang as I searched for someway to respond without sounded totally depressed. Then a wheel turned in my head, and a minute later they were cranking.

He has an email address! His username [it's B.E.A.T.] is haunting if you know what it is. I know what half of you are thinking already-you all think it's beat, well it's not. I typed his email address in at the top bar, and left the subject section blank.

"Hi, It's me Bella. I'm sorry for contacting you-but I just needed to check on you, to see how you are doing. How are you doing? Is your new house beautiful like the last [though I don't think Esme would let it be anything but]? I hope you are well, please respond, please. Bella." I wrote quickly, and before I had a decent amount of time to think about it, I sent it. I waited about ten minutes to see if he deleted his address, but never got the 'Invalid address' message back. I decided it was a good time to reply to Renee now, she must be dying. "Mom, I'm good. I haven't been doing much lately, hanging out with a few friends sometimes I guess. I'm trying really hard not to flunk out of Math, and succeeding. Tell Phil I wish him luck. Bella." I wasn't having any trouble with math, but it made me seem more normal, like I'd accomplished something.

I flickered my eyes to the lower right corner where the clock was on my computer. It was 8:45 [well around there] and I usually took the liberty of going to bed early. I eyed my drawer for a full minute before shutting down my computer and grabbing some pajamas and underwear. I took a towel from the bathroom closet, and turned the water on. I let my nerves wash away and prepared myself for a peaceful sleep, or not.

The nightmares. They were impossible, something that just never ceased to freak the heck out of me. I knew what was coming-but it was always shocking. I'm not [and never will] go in depth as to what they were, but they weren't typical, there were no ghosts or people saying 'boo' or murderers. They were other mythical creatures though…

….

School:

Those were the events, in alphabetical order of what happened.

….

I was eager [an emotion that felt foreign since I had no feeling at all since that dreadful September day..] to check my email. There was a part of me that knew my only response would be from Renee, and yet the other part screamed in excitement that Edward did reply.

The first choice was correct. The only reply I got was from my mother. Not him-my mother.

"Bella, you sound like you're in need of a good time. Maybe you should get away from those palefaces and come visit me over the break, it would be fun! Phil misses you so much that it breaks my heart! I've talked to Charlie about you coming down, he think's it would be good for you. Consider it? Mom." The palefaces. Of course, she didn't mean the Cullens, she was merely making a bad joke about the people who were in need of a tan down here, but how could she not notice what she did right there? My response was short and to the point. It spoke exactly what was on my mind. "Maybe. Bella."

I gave myself permission to compose another email to you-know-who.

"Hi [I couldn't bring myself to type his name-you probably realized that in the last email though], I realize I'm the last person you'd want to talk to right now, but please, I need to hear your voice, or at least your words, I guess. I need to know you're happy, and as long as your happy, I can be too. C'mon, please, please respond. Think of me right now, think of me real hard. RESPOND. Bella." I wanted to make him feel pressured to answer me.

I heard the door open and shut in one swift and even motion. "HI BELLS." He shouted up the staircase.

"Hi dad." I pretty much whispered to him. He'd think I was ignoring him which wasn't true, but I didn't care to speak louder than bare minimum. I'd already used my alluded words for the week yesterday.

I was about to shut my computer when I heard buzzing once again. I got excited, all for nothing because it was only Renee who responded. "Bella, don't be like that. Mom."

Annoyed, I replied "What more do you want me to say? Bella."

That woman must have checked her email every second, because in a minute, while I was busy searching the web a small icon popped up next to the clock reading '1 new message.'.

"Bella, I don't know what I did. Mom." I let out a huff and rolled my eyes.

"Mom, you didn't do anything, I'm sorry, I just had a rough day at school-don't ask. Bella."My days were always rough-so it wasn't a lie. Besides, she did do something, she just didn't know it.

…

I shrugged into my tightly tucked sheets, letting my hair dampen the pillow. I shut my eyes, but was unable to focus on sleep. Thoughts were buzzing through my mind at the speed of light, and I knew the gift of unconsciousness wouldn't be coming anytime soon. I frowned at myself, and tried to counting sheep method. I pictured ridiculous sheep prancing through a meadow, and by the time I hit 30 I was off track. Suddenly, they were prancing through our meadow, and the sheep turned to lambs. Behind the lambs, lions followed, but eventually all the lions faded away. Then, the lambs started to fade away too, until there was only one left. After a couple days [in dreamland of course] the last lamb faded out of sight, as did the meadow until there was only black nothingness.

It wasn't until I heard my alarm go off that I knew I was dreaming. That was a pleasant change, not a nightmare but it still had the same effect. At least I wasn't screaming, there was something about the puffy white lambs that took the scariness away, numbed it at least. Maybe that was all I needed, numb nothingness. Maybe that would be what my life would come too-nothing. I'd stay with Charlie-or Renee until I was 30, then maybe they'd kick me out and buy my own apartment and argue with me that I needed to get a job. Just like the movies, I would be the pathetic loser that never got over her first boyfriend, her first heartbreak.

….

A/N:

Roses are read, violets are blue.

I don't own twilight, please do not sue.

…

That was a ridcolous disclaimer, BTW. So how'd you like the first chapter? I think you guys will really like where this story is going, if you just make it through one last slow chapter. I'm sorry this one is so short, only 7 pages! They'll be longer, but this one was just an introductory so I wasn't going to make it like 15 pages long or anything like that. Please please please tell me if you like the story, because if you don't I won't be as motivated to continue and the chapters will be posted slower, and slower until they disappear like the lambs. PLEASE REVIEW I AM A REVIEW-A-HOLIC!

I will be updating every Saturday [including tomorrow if I get a couple reviews], and so, yeah…REVIEW!