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Nightmares
It was an old saying and somewhat sexist, but it that did not make it any less truthful. It was a woman's prerogative to change her mind. And when it came to the issue of when to start a family, Nyota Uhura had done a complete about face.
She and Spock had discussed it when they had first bonded. Their careers had just begun. A starship was no place to raise a child. Spock didn't even know if he could father a child. Hybrid pregnancies were dangerous for both mother and child. They had lots of good reasons to wait, or to forgo reproduction altogether. They had decided to wait.
Now Nyota was having second thoughts about that decision.
Her resolve began to weaken the day of their official bonding on New Vulcan. After the ceremony, she and Spock had walked from Sarek's home to the beam down point on the edge of the settlement. They passed a father and his tiny daughter, just old enough to be taking her first steps. Though it was very difficult to judge a Vulcan's age, the father seemed young, younger even than Spock. Nyota had felt just a touch of wistfulness through the bond, but Spock soon suppressed it. Such desires were not logical. They had decided to wait.
Several days later, Nyota, Spock, and Spock's entire living Vulcan family boarded a transport in San Francisco en route to Africa for their wedding at Nyota's parents home. Nyota's heart could not help but be touched by the sight of her beloved cradling his cousin Sirin's baby daughter in his arms and singing to her to calm her down.
When they got to Kenya, Spock surprised her again by playing "tea party" with his cousin's other little girl. He also helped watch Nyota's little nephew Joshua while his parents participated in the church's Christmas Eve pageant.
After a brief honeymoon in Paris, the couple spent a few days with Spock's cousin Sirin and his wife Rachel. Sirin was a gifted orthopedic surgeon as well as a Vulcan healer and Rachel a physician with the Starfleet Medical Corps. Grandmother T'Pau had consented to give the two an official bonding ceremony. They had been married for over seven years and had three children together.
Nyota marveled at the easy interactions "Uncle Spock" had with Sirin and Rachel's kids. Rachel had some very interesting stories to tell her about Spock and little Jason.
It was an unusually warm day for January in San Francisco. The ladies sat in the heated sun room of Sirin and Rachel's home, watching Sirin, Spock, and Jason play three-way catch in the backyard.
T'Pau held tiny T'Lonna, just five weeks old, trying to get in her "baby fix" before returning to New Vulcan.
"It is interesting how much Jason resembles Spock when he was that age. Spock even had those same small spots on his face. I believe that they are called freckles."
"Yes, that's correct, Grandmother. You are not the first to say that Jason looks like Spock. This often led to confusion when Spock was an instructor at the Academy. Spock had access to many "cool things" that interested a little boy, so he would sometimes take Jason to see them and then bring him back to me at Medical. Anyone who saw them together and who had not met Sirin would think that Spock was Jason's daddy. Then they would accuse me of cradle robbing!"
The two human women giggled over this.
"Spock was serving aboard his first ship, USS Discovery, when Jason was born. When he took his first leave, Jason was only a few month old. Spock was quite taken with him, even learned to change diapers and prepare formula. They have more in common than genetics."
Rachel was referring to the fact that both Spock and Jason were Vulcan-Human hybrids.
"After that, whenever Spock had leave, he would spend it with us. We tried to get him to move in with us when he accepted the instructor post at the Academy, but Spock thought his irregular hours would be too disruptive of the family routine. He never seemed to understand that there's no such thing as routine with two doctors in the family."
"And then there was the rollerskating. Spock used to skate for exercise and Jason loved to watch him. When Jason was about three, Spock bought him his own little helmet, gloves, and knee pads. He would scoop Jason up and put the kid's little feet on top of his, and then skate slowly up and down the street. Spock has the makings of a really fine father."
Nyota had had her own warm fuzzy moments with Sirin and Rachel's children. She taught a Swahili song to Jason and the family parrot Ivan. Little Hannah wanted her hair done in tiny braids like Nyota's, and held still for the hours it took to do it. Then she rewarded Nyota with a big hug and kiss. And Baby T'Lonna! Someone should bottle the scent of an infant's head!
Yes, Nyota had definitely changed her mind about babies. The only things that really worried her about starting a family were Spock's nightmares. They were disturbing and violent, always the same horrible images. They had ceased for a while, but had recently returned, increasing in frequency and intensity.
"You won't succeed! It's hopeless! Poor, pathetic half-breed! He fails at everything he attempts. You will fail at this, too."
Nero grabbed the phaser from Spock's hand and laughed as he mocked him.
"You failed to save the ones I loved. Now I will take away the ones that you love. Young Spock, Old Spock. It doesn't matter to me, for you are the same. I hold you both responsible. You will fail, and they will all die. And you must watch, I insist, for it is all your fault."
The image of Amanda falling to her death was replayed for him a thousand times. Sometimes he even saw the flesh burned from her body as she dropped into the planet's molten core. Nero held his eyes open and forced him to watch.
Nero bound him to a torture table, injected him with paralyzing drugs. He could do nothing as the drill bored its way through Terra's crust nor when the red matter was dispensed. Terra was sucked into a black hole and then disappeared.
But Nero was not finished yet. One by one, his minions brought in the crew of the Enterprise, stood them before Spock, and slit their throats. Nyota they saved for last. Nero had other plans for her....
Spock sat bolt upright in his bed, waking with a sound midway between a gasp and a scream.