Heroic Yamaha was stretched out on his bed, ready and willing. He had never considered attempting what Honey had suggested. "SDMB" were the letters, but he could not recall the order in which they originally appeared. What a puzzle this was.
Honey tumbled into the room, covered top of head to bottom of head in tabasco sauce. "Your maternal figure makes a mean lean turkey salad panini. I had never considered using this type of condiment."
"What was that about mint condoms?" Hiro piped up, seductively emptying a bottle of them onto the bed. Honey had hoped for honey flavored. The hours she'd spent preparing a notebook full of autofellatio jokes were now rendered irrelevant.
"Let's just get it over with," Honey mumbled under her breath. She pressed a button on her glasses, and several bondage items came out of her glasses. "The safe word is 'Tadashi is never coming back and there is nothing you or anyone on this earth can do about it because science will never advance far enough to revive the dead and your prayers are falling on deaf ears because there is no God.'"
"Sure thing," Hiro agreed. He didn't understand a word she was saying. All he could think about was how cool this whole puberty thing was turning out to be.
Honey proceeded to give Hiro the whipping he deserved. Unbeknownst to the two lovebirds, though, their screams of wanted pain did not go unheard. Hiro had shut his eyes to enjoy the sensations, but when he opened them, he did not see the visage of Honey. His whole view was filled by what appeared to be a picture of a black q-tip printed on a volleyball.
"Hello, I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion," the giant balloon calmly introduced himself yet again.
"FUCK," Hiro shouted. "Tadashi is never coming back and there is nothing I or anyone on this earth can do about it because science will never advance far enough to revive the dead and my prayers are falling on deaf ears because there is no God!"
"On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?" Baymax asked calmly.
"Baymax, come on, man! I'm just about to lose my puberty!"
Honey groaned, "I think you mean virginity."
"I know what I meant, you she-witch," Hiro villained.
Baymax obliviously continued, literally sandwiched between Hiro and Honey. "Following symptoms observed."
"Can we not do this right now?"
"Tachycardia, tachypnea, erythema, hyperhidrosis, penile erection."
"I have no idea what any of those words mean."
"Diagnosis: sexual arousal."
"Thanks, Baymax, you're a big help."
"I can relieve symptoms if you wish."
Honey squished Baymax's large self aside. "That could spice things up a bit," she licked. "Just like this tabasco sauce."
Hiro grunted. "I'm now picturing my dead brother, my mom's gross paninis, and what Baymax's dick would look like if he had one all at the same time. This is totally killing my boner."
Baymax immediately injected a powerful aphrodisiac drug that was still in clinical trial and not yet deemed safe by the FDA into Hiro's arm. His wee-wee got back up for round 2. The three then partook in an event where Baymax rolled in place on the bed while Honey lay stationary beneath him and Hiro held onto his back and slapped Honey across the ass with his dick every time they passed each other.
Hiro grinned. He was definitely satisfied with his care.
