I can't believe this has been on my harddrive for two years...

Anyway, here it is. Please review!

Spoilers for MGS4!

Trigger

"So…what do you intend to do now, Dave?" Hal asked and looked at the man from aside.

"You really sent her to Jack?" Dave asked instead, had his eyes fixed on the remaining toys in the corner of their shared apartment.

"Yes…"

"Why?"

"Because…," Hal began and sighed. He bent forward, rested his arms on his legs and shook his lowered head. "Because we can't give her what she needs…"

"I can't! You can!" Dave corrected him.

"No, I can't either," the engineer mumbled, which earned him a questioning look. "My question, Dave!" he quickly reminded his friend.

"I'll go back to Alaska," the retired soldier said in his casual gruff voice. Something within Hal still winced since it seemed to sound gruffer with every day that past.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Dave nodded and leant back. "I always liked it there. And six months isn't really a lot of time today anymore if you think about it…"

"No, it's not," Hal thought sadly and kept his eyes on the ground. "When do you intend to leave?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"Tuesday."

"That's in less than two days," he said surprised.

"So?" Dave shrugged and looked at him.

"Then we should start packing…," Hal suggested, didn't notice the look he was given.

"We?"

"Of course! I said I'll stick to you." The engineer gave his friend his best You can be so dense sometimes look.

"Hal…," Dave sighed and was about to protest when the man already shook his head. The determination in his eyes was too visible and the former soldier knew better than to protest now.

"I'll stick to you as I said. And if you want to go to Alaska, then we'll do that." Hal smiled briefly and ran a hand through his hair.

Dave watched how he got up and stretched, which was accompanied by a long yawn. "Hal…"

"It's already late. We should go to bed, Dave," the engineer interrupted his friend again. As he was about to go to the bedroom a hand grabbed his arm.

"You're weird lately," Dave said gruffly and scrutinized him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

"You're lying, Hal. What's wrong?" he asked once more and got up to face his friend. "I know you too well by now. So lying won't work!" He held his opposite's gaze until Hal looked away. Letting go of the arm, he watched how the engineer walked over to the window and looked out and into the night. "Hal?"

"It's…," Dave heard him beginning before a loud sigh followed and then a shake of his head. "Naomi… Naomi found something when…when we…"

"I know what you did," Dave said impatiently and ignored the surprised and shocked look he was given. "What did she find?"

Letting the news sink in, Hal swallowed once and turned back around, unsure of how to break the news to him. "Something…that had her worried…"

"Worried?"

"Yes…"

"Why?" Dave asked and came slowly closer. "Is that why you went to see a doctor last week?" He received a slow nod. "And it's also the reason for your odd behavior, am I right?" Once more a nod. "So what is it?"

Heaving a deep breath, Hal feared that his heart would collapse. He didn't know how to tell him… He just couldn't come up with anything at all… "My time's running out too, Dave…," he finally managed to say in a way too calm voice. "I might have even less than you… The doctor wasn't so sure…"

Only staring at the back for a while, the older man finally walked over to look at his friend from aside. "What?"

Hal looked up and gave him a weak smile. "A late gift from Shadow Moses…," he said. "They haven't been that careful with the radiation obviously…" He shrugged and looked away again, his eyes taking in the lights of Manhattan.

"That means?" Dave asked, unable to say anything else since his mind still tried to understand what he had just heard.

"An aggressive form of cancer…," Hal finally answered the question his friend didn't dare to ask. "It's already spread too far as that it would make much sense to do anything against it… He gave me less than 10%."

"Did you see another doctor?" he heard the older man asking, heard the hidden hope in the gruff voice. "It might be less than 10%, Hal, but it's still…"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Dave!" Hal said slightly angered.

"There still is a chance otherwise he wouldn't have said this!" Dave insisted.

"And even if…," the engineer gave back, "I'm tired of fighting. Everything we've done in the past, nearly 10 years was fighting, Dave! First against Liquid and Rex, then against Solidus and Ray, then countless other Metal Gears worldwide until Ocelot had shown up… It's enough, don't you think?"

Staring at his friend in disbelief, Dave shook his head. "So you just give up? Just like that?" he asked, but Hal knew it was rhetorically.

"You know…," Hal said after a while and crossed his arms, "from the moment your aging kicked in I began to ask myself what I would do. And when I heard how Naomi told you about the six months first, then about the three… I was scared. I tried to think about what I would do after you passed away, what I could do, but…" He shook his head. "I couldn't come up with anything. It just didn't fit. I mean you helped me to change, you made me stronger and…we just were a team, we functioned, knew we could rely on each other. The idea of not having you by my side scared me. It still does… You know that I suck in looking out for myself… So the news, as dumb and cruel as it might sound, was fine with me. It was a shock first, but thinking about it now…" He shrugged. "I'm fine with it…"

"You mean you don't care," Dave disagreed, still trying to cope with the news. But all he got was a weak smile again.

"Maybe…"

Only shaking his head, Dave turned around and walked over to the bedroom where he changed his clothes before he lay down in bed. He remained silent, even as Hal lay down next to him and switched off the lights. Even after minutes of thinking he didn't know what to think. The irony in their situation was just impossible.

"Are you afraid?" he heard Hal asking after some more minutes.

"More angry…," Dave replied. "I wasted too much time…"

"You couldn't have known."

"Maybe, but still I wasted too much time on fighting…"

"I think we all do that," Hal said and pulled his pillow closer. "And we realize it when it's already too late… It's not fair anyway. They had no right to do this to you."

"But to you?"

"Well it was my family who decided to play with nuclear weapons."

"And mine to fight stupid wars," Dave grunted. "Hal?" he asked after a while.

"Yeah?"

"How long did he give you?"

Opening his eyes in the dark, the engineer swallowed hard. There had clearly been fear in his friend's voice… Since he was too much in thoughts he startled when a hand touched his bare back.

"How long?"

"Four months…," Hal replied in a hoarse voice. "He wasn't so sure… Could be more, could be less… I don't know."

"Damn it!" he heard Dave cursing and the hand was withdrawn, probably clenched in a fist as he guessed. "Do you have to take the words I follow you wherever you go so seriously?" Dave cursed. "Damn it, Hal!"

"Well, see it like this," Hal said, deciding to join the sarcastic moment, "we can throw one big reunion party once it's over…"

"Sarcasm is my part."

"Yeah, I know… Just wanted to try it. Doesn't suit me, huh?"

"No," Dave grunted and rolled onto his side. "Same goes for your You're the shit! comment."

"I actually liked that one," Hal mumbled, closed his eyes again, just to open them in shock when two arms were suddenly wrapped around him and a body pressed against his. "D…Dave?"

"Ssh…," the older man made behind him and the engineer asked himself what had caused this unusual reaction from his friend.

Since they had to share the bed in their small apartment and Hal had insisted on Dave sleeping in a bed and not on the couch because of his back, it wasn't unusual that they ended up closely cuddled up to each other, or that a hand or a whole arm landed somewhere on the other's body, but never before had either he or Dave done this.

"We'll manage…," he felt Dave whispering against his neck. "Okay? We'll manage…"

But Hal knew that his friend was as much at a loss for words as he was….

After he had finished the letter and placed it on the bedside table, he reached out to run his hand through Hal's hair for the last time before he placed a kiss on his friend's cold lips. Dave remained in that position for a while, looked at his partner while holding his hand. Regret and longing, but also a strong tiredness were visible in the old soldier's eyes and he looked at the gun in his hand. He knew he still had one thing to do…

His hand took Hal's cellphone and dialed a number he knew by heart. It didn't take long and a familiar voice could e heard. "We're in Alaska in my cabin, Roy. You should come," was all Dave said before he switched off the phone and put it carefully back onto the table.

This time felt different. He wasn't scared, his hands weren't shaking and his heart beat in a steady thump, thump, thump, unlike the first time. He was completely calm… After he had given Hal one last look, Dave moved over and lay down next to his partner. "Just wait a little longer…," he begged to someone who was long gone and closed his eyes. He knew Hal would be angry with him to waste the two months that he probably still had. But he also knew that his friend would understand him. The only thing he began to ask himself was if some religions were true and they would be united on the other side. If there was an afterlife with everyone you knew from your life or if people were really reborn… If, he thought, then he hoped it would be with Hal on his side, a new life, starting all over without any wars they had to fight. Just them and their life together…, the love they shared and had admitted too late…

A silent tear escaped the old soldier's eyes at the thought of how much time they had wasted, time that was forever lost now… They'd never get it back. "I love you, too, Hal," Dave whispered in his gruff voice, still had his eyes closed when the gun found its way into his mouth. This time felt different. Because this time he pulled the trigger…