Taking A Chance

Disclaimer - I am in no way affiliated with Gilmore Girls, nor do I own the characters involved in this story... Although, I wouldn't mind owning Matt Czuchry. ;)

Summary - Rory reflects on past loves and the possibility of future love.

Distribution - If you would like to use this story on another site, please leave me your email address through the reviews section, and I'll get back to you.

He was both a breath of fresh air and a terrible nuisance. His devilish grin both thrilled and irritated her. The fact that he was somehow entangled in all aspects of her life infuriated her – and yet also pleased her to no end. He had infringed upon her territory – at the Yale Daily News; through her grandparents' annoying approval of him; and through his audacity to interrupt one of her classes with his mock declarations of love.

On the other hand, he had also helped her infiltrate the elusive Life and Death Brigade for her feature piece. He had saved her from the depths of embarrassment at her grandparents' "Yale Male Party" (as christened by her mother). He had even comforted her in the wake of her pitiful and public break-up with Dean. In the limo ride home, he told funny – if daringly dirty – jokes, and did wacky impersonations with Finn, all the while draping one arm protectively over her shoulder, saving her from completely crashing in a drunken stupor.

She didn't know what to make of him. Adversary or comrade? Obnoxious or endearing? One thing she did know was that her first impression of him had been very wrong. Despite his faults, she had to admit that he had turned out to be much more multi-dimensional and interesting than she had initially given him credit for. He wasn't exactly the rich, overbearing, and rude cad she had pegged him to be. Despite the upper-crust breeding, and life of luxury, he wasn't an entirely hopeless cause.

If she could only say the same about herself.

Because she was turning out to be as hopeless a cause as they came.

She could feel it. Burning deep within her. She could feel the same sensations she had felt with Dean, and then with Jess. That gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. The tingling of her skin every time Logan Huntzberger was within five feet of her. He had gotten to her. He had buried himself into her consciousness, - had taken hold of her imagination. And, for all her outward dismissal of him, she didn't want him to let go.

"Hey Ace, you got a minute?"

The term of endearment echoed in her head. Ace. No matter how much she wanted to be annoyed by it, she couldn't. It somehow made her feel special. It was ridiculous and childish to feel that way. But, that was the effect Logan had on her.

Turning towards him, she suppressed the emergence of a smile and instead wore her trademark "stern face". She had to keep up the pretense of being annoyed with him, - if for no other reason than to stop herself from falling at his feet.

"Huntzberger. To what do I owe this unwanted interruption in my day?"

He flashed Rory his trademark grin – the one that secretly made her melt and wore down her defenses. "Just wanted to see how my favorite Lois Lane wannabe was doing. And, I also wanted to inform you of something."

Rory was intrigued. "Inform? About what? You're not planning on declaring your undying love for me again are you? Perhaps announce it over the PA system this time? You know, to mix it up a little?"

He laughed. Logan loved the way Rory Gilmore always kept him on his toes and moreover kept him in line. "Damn. You figured it out. I'll have to find another way to surprise you."

Rory rolled her eyes in mock irritation. "Okay then. What's the real deal Huntzberger? And, make it quick. I've got 'Modern Poetry' in less than five minutes, and Professor Robards is a stickler for punctuality."

"Okay, okay. I just wanted to let you know that I've been cordially invited to your grandparents renewal ceremony this Saturday."

She wasn't entirely surprised. The Huntzbergers were afterall close friends with her grandparents. Her mind wandered to the thought of seeing Logan in a tux again. She recalled how dashing he looked at the LDB event and could feel her skin tingle. Shaking it off , she composed herself and flippantly replied, "Well, that's nice."

"So maybe we'll hang out at the party?" he said expectedly. He was secretly hoping she would express some excitement at the idea of him being there.

There was something about Rory Gilmore he couldn't deny. She was smart and feisty. She didn't back down from a good verbal sparring. Sure, she was slightly naïve, but she was also open to new experiences. Her unique blend of innocence and bravado spoke to him in a way he hadn't been spoken to in a very long time. Not to mention that he was incredibly attracted to her…with those doe eyes keeping him awake at night.

Nevertheless, he felt resistance from her side and didn't want to push her into anything she wasn't ready for. Having witnessed her recent break-up, he was wary of jumping the gun and ruining any chance he might have. And, so he waited patiently for her response to his solicitation.

She just stood there, - quiet for a few moments, mulling over the right choice of words. Afterall, she didn't want to sound too eager. "I guess. Yeah. I'll see you there. " She looked at her watch. "I'll be late for class Huntzberger. So, I'll see you around."

And, with that, she turned on her heel and walked away… Leaving Logan to believe that Rory Gilmore was no more interested in him than she was in anyone else.

Oh. If only he knew.

She was afraid.

Of messing up yet another relationship. Of, finding herself hurt and broken yet again. Of, letting her guard down again, only to be disappointed in the end.

Rory Gilmore was good at a lot of things. At pouring over books, and writing papers. She could analyze subject matter from literature, to politics.

But, when it came to guys… no amount of analysis skills could help her.

Jess had hurt her in a way she had never hurt before. She had loved him. There was no doubt in her mind that she had loved him. The way his hair curled ever so slightly. The way he could discuss anything with her and make it sound fascinating. The way he kissed her, - passionately, simultaneously gentle and fierce.

However, Jess was a broken soul. And, no matter how much she wanted to ease his pain… she couldn't. He left her without so much as saying goodbye.

She never expressed her sense of loss to anyone. Not really. Choosing instead to bear the hurt alone and internally.

She was still hurting from one loss, when she was handed another – Dean, her first love, had gotten married. And, although she had no right to him, no right to feel a sense of loss… she did.

She had been so awful to Dean. Playing with his mind. Playing with his heart. When she started to fall for Jess, she hadn't been adult enough to recognize that she needed to let Dean go. And, when Dean got married, she still hadn't been adult enough to let him go. Instead, all the emotions of loss and need culminated in the simple desire to feel again. To be kissed again. To feel loved and wanted. She's still not even sure if she really loved Dean when she slept with him. She needed him. Desperately. But, had she really been in love?

She had been selfish. Then the damage was done. It was too late to take it back. She ruined a marriage.

She tried to make it work with Dean. To rekindle the past. To salvage a shred of dignity… to justify the break-up of his marriage by convincing herself that she and Dean were meant to be. That he never did belong with Lindsay in the first place. But, there was no use. The past would remain in the past. And, the present could never amount to more than a shadow of its former self. She had cried herself to sleep on more nights than she could count once the realization of what she had done truly hit her.

She never wanted to be that girl. She never wanted love to hurt. She never wanted her first time to be an act of desperation. But, she had been, and it was.

Now there was Logan.

And, she was afraid.

He brought a date. Those were the only words resonating in Rory's head as she stood beside her grandfather and watched the guests file into the room. From her vantage point next to the altar, she had witnessed Logan walk in with a gorgeous blonde by his side. The girl was wearing a beautiful blue chiffon dress, and suddenly Rory felt self-conscious about her own attire. Thinking that it would be fun to don a suit for her duties as best-man, Rory suddenly felt like a child playing dress-up, - and berated herself for not wearing something more feminine. As confused as she was about she wanted from Logan Huntzberger, the last thing she wanted was for him to find her completely unattractive. Luckily, she was far too consumed with the on-goings of the ceremony to pay too much attention to Logan. That is, until the reception.

He walked up behind her as she made small talk with one of the guests, and patiently waited for her to notice him.

When she did, she turned a bright shade of red, - suddenly remembering what she looked like. "Logan! You scared me!"

"Hey Ace," he replied with a smile. "Love the outfit."

She couldn't help but giggle a little. "Yeah, well. I am best man you know. So, I had to dress the part."

"Hey, so I was thinking that now would be a good time to engage in the 'hanging out' we had discussed. What do you think of taking a turn on the dance floor?"

Rory surveyed the room for the blonde Logan had been with. Spotting her, she motioned over to her with one hand. "Wouldn't your date get upset if you danced with another girl?"

Logan glanced over at what Rory was pointing at and shook his head in confusion. "Date?"

Rory nervously played with the buttons on her jacket. "Umm. Well, I saw you walk in with that girl. And, you sat with her during the ceremony… so, I figured… " She trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

Logan let out a chuckle. "That's my sister, Kaitlyn.Maybe you didn't notice ...but our parents were walking in right behind us."

She could see the look of amusement in his eyes and suddenly felt embarrassed. His sister! Now that she thought about it, she could see the resemblance. "Oh! Well. Okay… I just… I didn't… I didn't know."

He held out his hand towards her. "So, are we going to dance or what?"

Looking at Logan, in his suit, and that twinkle in his eye, Rory let her guard down and let him guide her onto the dance floor. He rested his arms around her waist, as she placed her hands on his shoulders.

She couldn't explain it, but somehow she felt so secure with him right in that moment. She found herself getting lost in her thoughts – of him, of past loves, of what would happen if she could ever fully let her guard down with Logan.

He awoke her from her thoughts. "Why so quiet Gilmore?"

"No reason. Just thinking about how nice it is that my grandparents have been able to stay together for 40 years. These days it seems like being married for a good length of time is an anomaly. I mean, Britney Spears got married twice in the same year. Jennifer Lopez has been married three times and engaged once in the last 5 years. I could go on."

Logan laughed. "No, it's alright. I think I got your point. It's true. I mean, my parents have been together for almost twenty-five years. It's incredible to think about."

Rory sighed. "Yeah… it is." She looked up at him… her sense of security breeding a sense of courage. "Do you think you're good at relationships?"

He was taken aback a little, but welcomed the opportunity to talk to Rory about something – real. "Welllll… I've had a couple of serious girlfriends in the pasted. Dated a few others. But, things just never worked out. I admit some of the break-ups were my fault – I was too immature. Some break-ups weren't my fault – I was cheated on. And, others were mutual – it just didn't feel right."

She nodded in understanding. "It's hard… I mean, with Dean… my ex… I felt like I was constantly on edge. Trying not to disturb the peace. I wanted it to work, but I knew it wasn't right."

He held her a little tighter and looked down at her, remembering how heart-broken she had been on that night. "Well, when it's not right, you have to let it go. And, just know that it was for the best."

She peered into his warm brown eyes. "And, how will I know when it is right?"

His lips curved up. "You'll just know Ace…. You'll just know."

She's learned that relationships can be messy. They can tear you apart emotionally and wreak havoc on all your senses. They can stab you in your heart and leave wounds that will only heal with time. Wounds that are akin to battle scars, - memories of what you went through, of all the battles you have fought.

However, even when the scars fade, the lessons of battle will never be forgotten. Relationships can make you grow and learn about yourself. And she has. At least, she hopes she has.

She can't ensure that the next time won't hurt. She can't guarantee that another battle wound won't be emblazoned in her heart.

But, at least she can say that she fought.

She opened her door to her dorm, and found him standing before her with a single rose in his hand. "A little something for the lady of the evening."

Smiling, she took the flower from him and then linked her arm through his. "So, where are you taking me Huntzberger?"

"Oh no Gilmore. You're not going to weasel that out of me. I told you it's a surprise."

"I'm just afraid that you're going to make me jump off a seven-story tower again."

"Don't worry Ace. I wouldn't do that to you on our first date. Afterall, I need you to make it until the second date."

"Well, well. Aren't you being a little presumptuous?" She chided him playfully. "Who said anything about a second date? I mean, I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you. It could work against your favor. Do you want to take that chance?"

He turned towards her, and slid his arm down until his fingers laced with hers. Slowly he leaned down, and gave her a kiss on her lips.

Slowly parting, he grinned coyly at her. "Ace, … life is all about taking chances."

She could only nod in agreement.

"Very true Huntzberger. Very true".

Just a little idea I had in my head about Rory being afraid of starting a new relationship. Hoped you liked it!

Please Read and Review! :)