How is it going, everyone. This is your friendly neighbourhood Spidey here. Not really. It's jus...t...sob! sob! It's jus..t poor old me howlin blood here... Bringing you all fine people another offering of Resident Evil fanfiction.

Alrighty then, the main reason that motivated me to write this fanfic is that I've recently noted that both Leon and Claire have the same shirt under their iconic jacket including the two very similar gun holsters of the respective characters. You don't believe me! Here lemme explain.

Let's compare Leon's black shirt and gun holster from Resident Evil 4 with Claire's black shirt and gun holster from Resident Evil 2 my dear students. Google it don't be shy...You won't be marked negatively for using that GOD DAM SEARCH ENGINE...Did you find it? Oh, don't they look the same? It's almost creepy, I know.

Now, why would good ol Leon do such a perverted thing? Good question students. Read on to find out this mystery meddling kids.

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil series. All rights belong to their respective owners.

"Alright Leon! How many dam places we have to go through just to find that shirt of yours?" David The Plumber fumed.

"Don't forget that tan colored gun's holster Dangerous Dave?" Kevin grinned at his blonde friend while driving his metallic colored Volkswagen SUV.

Leon didn't bother to answer their questions. He needed to do some shopping before he leaves for Spain. Since, Kevin was busy grinning at his friends and not concentrating on driving his car was suddenly, "BEEP! BEEP!" about to be hit by a huge truck. Kevin using his quick reaction was successfully able to steer his Volkswagen SUV away from the truck but it crashes on a nearby tree instead "Crash!"

"DIPSIT! LOOK'S WHO'S DANGEROUS NOW! I'M DANGEROUS FOR MY OWN FACKED UP AS! YOU'RE DANGEROUS NOT ONLY FOR YOUR OWN FACKED UP SIT FILLED EXISTENCE! BUT ALSO OF OURS! FORGET US! YOU'RE DANGER FOR THE ENTIRE HUMANITY WHILE FACKING EVERYONE'S MOTHERS. YOU'RE A MOTHERFACKER ON AN OMNICIDAL SCALE." David shouted.

Leon was pretty calm about the situation, unlike David. As of right now, he was reminiscing about the past. More specifically 98. The Racoon City Destruction Incident.

Leon never really understood those philosophers. Always thinking about literally everything. From life meaning to the role of tiny insect in enriching human lives.

But for the first time in life, Leon felt like he could actually empathize how those felt philosophers felt all this time. It was because of one woman.

~Racoon City~

"In this God-forsaken city, I met a certain brunette who eventually evolved into a redhead for a survival partner. She was my partner in crime in mass murdering countless and countless of accidental freaks of T-Virus outbreak."

"Claire was her name and she came into the city to look for her brother Chris. But he wasn't there. Guess she forget to call him. Guess she was poor and she didn't have a cell phone to call him with. Guess she spent all her savings on her Harley Davidson bike instead of an important item like cell phones. Whatever her financial constraints were. Leon found her attachment to her brother slightly disturbing."

"But she wasn't a disturbing person in person. Far from it. Not even in the slightest. She was good with guns. She was good with karate throws. She was even good with knives. She saved my as with those knives when a sneaky zombie was about to attack me from behind."

"She more specifically saved my Kennedy using her brother's knife. Okay, that last paragraph does paints a disturbing image of gun trotting brocon gal by the name of Claire. That was not my intention."

"Okay, let me start again. Claire, in all honesty, was an honest woman. I'm not even joking here. She was upfront for her reasons for coming to Racoon City. Unlike the certain woman in red."

"She was honest when she was scared. Unlike me, who pretended not to be scared. In all honesty, she was much much braver than I was. I could tell. I was more sit scared from inside than she was sit scared from the outside. It's a battle of sit scared yay!"

"She was honestly afraid of dark sewers. She honestly afraid of the giant spiders, tiny spiders, flying roaches, and bees. She was honestly afraid of anything that resembled bugs; technically speaking spiders aren't bugs. They're arachnids. I guess Claire honestly didn't know that, despite being a college student."

"She honestly tried to be funny, most of the time. Even during the times, when she was afraid. She always made an honest attempt to crack a joke. At times, it honestly looked like she was even trying to impress me or even tease me sometimes. But honestly speaking, her jokes were funny nonetheless."

"I'm honestly a funny person too. But I wasn't honest with myself, in Racoon City. I was honestly sit scared from inside. I too sit scared to crack a joke."

"Because I was a dishonest person, unlike Claire. I pretended not to be afraid. I pretended to be strong. Maybe that's why I fell in love with fellow dishonest arts practitioner like Ada. Me and Ada were honestly too much alike."

"Speaking of Ada, Claire was even honest about her dislikes. Honestly, she wasn't even fond of Ada. Honestly, Claire was even jealous of her. She wasn't two-faced about it. She honestly expressed her feelings or opinions. In short, Claire was an honest woman."

"What impressed me the most wasn't just her honesty. What honestly impressed me was the fact that she was honestly a caring woman. Especially when it comes to little kids like Sherry. Sherry was afraid of us. She (Sherry) was honestly even more afraid of me. Evading me whenever she sees me like I'm sort of monster."

"But it was Claire's honest, sincere and caring nature that won Sherry over. She (Claire) pursued her (Sherry) and tried to save her from zombies and lickers a like. Even though honestly speaking she (Sherry) didn't want to be saved by us. I honestly gave up on Sherry but Claire didn't."

"It was honestly due to Claire's caring nature that Sherry started to open up to me; that she started to me see as her foster father."

"Claire was like a mama bear. Protecting her cubs with ferocity, with power, with honesty and ultimately with care. Even though that cub wasn't hers."

~Flashback~

Sherry was badly injured. As she was attacked by monstrous William Birkin, who had successfully implanted embryo inside of her. She had very little time left. Sherry was unconscious for now, as Leon laid her on the bed.

"Claire?" Was the first word Sherry spoke after waking up.

"Oh! You're finally awake." As Claire came closer to listen to what the young Birkin child had to say.

On observing that she (Sherry) was wearing Claire's "Made In Heaven" bomber jacket, "Isn't this..."

"That's okay! You keep it." As Claire sat on the bed and gently patted Sherry on her head, "For good luck."

"It was weird to see Claire without her signature bomber jacket. That certainly got my attention."

"The items of clothing she wore at that time caught my attention the most. Claire was wearing a tan colored belt holster over a black spandex t-shirt."

"Thank you!" Sherry meekly replied.

"Do you miss your mommy and daddy?" As Claire started to caresses Sherry's hair.

"I realized, Claire like me, was also pretending to be strong for Sherry's sake. In that brief moment, both Claire and I truly shared something in common."

"Truth to be told, Claire reason to be strong was an altruistic one. Mine was always a matter of useless pride. Even in that aspect she honestly surpassed me."

"No...Even though I'm an only child...Neither of my parents ever spent much time with me. Because of their work. I grew up alone. But now you're with me. I...finally have someone to rely upon..." As Sherry suddenly started to feel pain in her chest, "Hhuugh! Hhuuugh!"

"Come on! We better hurry. She's getting worse." Leon ordered.

"Okay!" Claire replied as she worriedly looked at Leon.

After Leon left the room Claire decided to assure Sherry one last time, "Sherry hang in there. We're gonna get the vaccine to make you better, Okay?"

"Claire...!" As the young girl desperately grabbed Claire's hand.

Claire immediately sat down and looked gently into Sherry's eyes: "I promise we'll be back. Just wait here. We won't be long."

"You could actually see why I'm most fond of this memory."

~Flashback Ends~

Kevin, Leon, and David were looking at various shirts on the boutique store. Mostly, it was Leon, as both David and Kevin were bored to death with Leon search for a specific black, spandex t-shirt. It was just one dam shirt David thought.

"Ummm, Leon?"

"Yeah David?"

"You're not gonna leave until you buy that shirt huh?"

"It's not like that David."

"Is it not Leo? You're actually getting late for the airport." Kevin interjected.

"It's USSTRATCOM jet. The timings are quite...flexible." Leon replied as he continued looking at various shirts.

"Oh really? So you're not gonna stop until you find that black, spandex t-shirt huh." David asked.

"I told you already...It's not...like that..."

"What is it like then bru? Should I be more specific what it looks like? Does it look like that black, spandex t-shirt which is somehow associated with Claire That Ass Redfield." Kevin asked.

"Ummmmmm..." Leon didn't know how to respond to that.

"I'm sorry bru. But you're such a nun." Kevin grinned.

"I'm not a facking nun."

"Do you want to be called child mulestin priest instead bru?" Kevin replied.

"Just forget it. What were you implying Kev?"

"You know that black spandex, t-shirt? And that tan colored gun holster? You're such a nice guy. I mean if you wanted to honour some lady. Wouldn't it be a better memento if you would've gotten her bra or her panties instead? Especially panties. You know That Redfield As is famous for a reason."

"What the fack Kev? I'm literally offended. If I was David I would've punched you by now." Leon was shocked.

"You know what Leon? Kevin really deserves a punch from me." As David punches Kevin on his guts "Pow!"

"Auuuuggg! Augggghhh!" Oh, that hurts you gai bru. I won't fack you in the as Dangerous Dave and that's final. You're a facking plumber Mario. Go take a wrench and stick it up in your as. Your p gland would be much stimulated by that."

"Oh, you cheeky sit head dipper." As David slaps Kevin on the back of his head, "Slap!"

"Ahhhhh!" Kevin screamed, "Ah! Don't do that Dave. I got a psychological trauma from the back head slap."

"Did that actually work?" David asked Leon while ignoring Kevin entirely.

"I don't know David. Let me see that for myself." As Leon slaps Kevin on the back of his head again, "Slap!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Kevin screamed in pain, "For God sake guys. Stop it already. It's not funny."

"Slap!" Leon slapped Kevin again.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Fack you Leo."

"I'm gonna ask you something, Kevin. When you said you had psychological trauma. Did you mean you were slapped on the back of your head a lot of times by your teachers during your junior high school?" David asked.

"Not only junior high. It goes right up to my college days." Kevin said as he massaged the back of his head.

"Kevin, teachers stop slapping you when you enter high school. What the hel did you even do during your college days?" David asked.

"I'm actually...asking that...question myself...bru.."

"What the hel bru is? You're using that word a lot." David asked.

"It a South African slang way of saying bro." Kevin replied.

"Kevin for the last time you're not a facking South African. You're a God Dam American."

Leon at that point wasn't paying much attention to his friends' conversation. Yes, they weren't wrong. He was trying to buy a black, spandex t-shirt and a tanned belt holster that was quite similar to Claire's.

Quite frankly he never thought about Claire before the last few months. Not in 98, not in 99, not in 2000, not in 2001 not in 2002 or 2003. It was just last few months.

All of those memories regarding Claire especially during Racoon City Incident; he was able to recall all those so well that it even surprised him. Initially, all of those memories meant nothing to him. It felt minor. It actually felt insignificant during that time.

Heck, his memories with Ada in Racoon City felt more special at that time. It still feels special up to this day. Honestly, Ada was the one he fell in love after all.

But honestly speaking, Claire grew on him. She grew from something insignificant to someone he compulsively thought about.

He couldn't explain why. That's what honestly bothered him. Leon was keen on explaining everything with logic. He could logically tell you why he wasn't initially that much into Claire ...Honestly, he only saw her as a fellow survivor or if you stretch it, as a casual friend for quite a long time... But now...his logic fails him...Honestly, there wasn't any logical explanation for his sudden change of feelings regarding her.

Sure, he was sit scared of what's coming ahead. Leon, like always would pretend to be strong. Pretend to be calm. Pretend to be collected. But honestly speaking he needed Claire's inner strength more than ever.

He didn't appreciate her much during Racoon City Destruction Incident. He considered her inner strength as something insignificant. It was like the air you breathe. You need it. But you're not appreciative of it. It was the same with Claire.

But when you take that air away from a man he desperately yearns for it(air) as if his life depended upon it. Claire inner strength was exactly like that air to Leon. He needed her inner strength now more than ever for this mission.

"Hey, Leon? You there?" A familiar voice called out.

Leon shook himself, "Huh?"

"Were you just spacing out?" David asked.

"Ah no... I was just...forget it David...Were you asking something?"

"Well, I was asking...What the hel did you do in Racoon City?" David asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what Dangerous Dave meant was...You had two lovely ladies accompanying you all the way there. What did you do with them?"

"You mean with Sherry and Claire?" Leon asked.

"Oh Dear Gawd! No! I didn't say one and a half lady did I? I said, two ladies. Ada and Claire. Not a half lady. Are you some special kind of bi-sexual?" Kevin asked.

"I'm not a bi-sexual Kev. I exclusively like women." Leon replied.

"I didn't say you were regular bi-sexual. I said you were special bi-sexual."

"What's a special bi-sexual," David asked Kevin.

"A regular bi-sexual is a guy who swings both ways. He's into guys and gals. But a special bi-sexual is a very special guy who also swings both ways. He's sometimes a pedophile and he's sometimes a cougarphile."

"Hahahahahahaha...That's a good one, Kevin..." David erupted into laughter.

Leon suddenly slapped Kevin on the back of his head, "Slap!"

"AWWWWW FACK! THAT HURTS! OH, MY KRYPTONITE!" Kevin started to massage the back of his head.

"But seriously Leon. What did you do with Ada and Claire?" David asked.

"Why are you asking such a childish question again? Of course, I've survived Racoon City with them."

"That's it. You only survived Racoon City with them?" Kevin finally asked.

"Isn't that what we're supposed to do?"

"Didn't you write something with your Mont Blanc pen in...some..in...some..holes?" Kevin innocently asked.

"I think...I kinda know what you're talking about...you sick bazturd.." Leon replied.

"Oh good...I don't want our conversation to be rated-r...ya know..." Kevin grinned.

"No, I didn't...At most I kissed Ada..."

"Just a facking kiss...Are you dead serious Leon?" David asked.

"So what? It's not like you guys had any saxual conquest during Racoon City Incident either." Leon shot back.

"Oh, you totally got us. Us poor, pathetic losers didn't conquer any new territory there unlike Genghis Khan...Just kidding not only we surpassed Genghis Khan...We managed to pull a shit that would even make Emperor Ming The Merciless(Flash Gordon Comic character) proud...We conquered three planets during that time. Planet Sweet heart-Cindy Lennox, Planet Brainy Asian-Yoko Suzuki, and Planet Tsundere-Alyssa Ashcroft ...You know what the coolest part was? Me and David did all of that while tag teaming WWE Style...take that Edge and Christian..." Kevin joked.

"You're facking with me Kev..."

"Not even in the slightest...You see...We're quite jealous of you...You always go on that cool adventures involving chics and lots and lots of zombies..."

"I'm putting my life on the line Kev." Leon fumed.

"Well besides putting your life on the line. Those zombie outbreak thing is the perfect time when chic's bich shield is at the lowest. In fact, there isn't any bich shield at all during that time." Kevin said.

"The hel's bich shield?" Leon asked.

"Bich shield is when a chic is being a bich with you hence the not-so-creative name. It's especially prevalent during the time when you're trying to approach her. Mind you bich shield is a necessary thing. It's something that keeps them from getting pregnant."

"Oh Gawd! You're full of sit Kev." Leon groaned.

"It's not a sit Leo...It's an interesting story..."

"That's what it's Kev. It's just a facking story...Not a fact. Not a theory...Not anything...It's just a fiction...like Fifty Shades of Grey...You don't get turned on by BABE DOES SOMETHING MAD OR BD-SMILEY unless you're a sicko..." Leon shot back.

"Okay just listen to me for a sec Leo...Like I said before...especially during zombie outbreak... each and every chic throw away their bich shield. They're actually vulnerable at that point. Let me ask you this Leo. Suppose you're a chic and you're trapped in this village or city infested with zombies. And there's no help coming. Wouldn't it be reasonable to assume that you would eventually be killed by those zombies?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, I suppose so." Leon replied.

"Then obviously you would throw away all of your bich shield collection. Become a ho instead. And have maximum fun with the opposite sax or even with the same sax. Love wins in the end I guess. Especially in a zombie apocalypse." Kevin winked.

"Man you're full of sit." Leon replied.

"No Leon. Kevin likes to joke around. But this time he isn't joking...You could say that he's serious about it while joking at the same time...But still ...You had countless opportunities for various saxual conquests. You were involved in Racoon City incident...You were involved in Operation Javier...You were involved in countless Zombie Outbreak with hot chics..Yet you did nothing..It's frankly quite weird..." David mused.

"It's weird...You're like the luckiest guy in the world...yet you're not availing those opportunities...I'm not saying you're a virgin, Leo. Cause you're not. As I've personally known most of your previous girlfriends. But like David said. It's quite weird..." Kevin added.

"It's not weird Kev...And for God sake guys I'm not luckiest guy in the world. I'm putting my life at risk for those missions."

"Leon haven't you heard old saying? The bigger the risk the greater the reward." David said.

"You guys are crazy."

"Well tell you what Leo. We loved our time in Racoon City in a facked up way. Yes, our lives were at risk there. But if we were asked to do that sit again. I'm sure me and Dave would say yes to that without skipping a beat." Kevin grinned.

Leon scoffed at them.

"Maybe we are. But Leo, we also do regret our times in Racoon City." David seriously said.

"Really?"

Kevin put his right palm on Leon's shoulder, "Yeah Leo. We do...We regretted that we..." Kevin looks down in sadness, "That we...That we didn't know that Jill Valentine was there. Otherwise, me and David wouldn't mind making a Jill sandwich out of her..."

"Hahahahaha...Hahahahahahahah...Hahahahahahahahahahahaha..." Leon, Kevin and David erupted into laughter. Leon had to admit that Jill Sandwich joke was rather quite funny.

"All right. Everyone seated?" Kevin asked from his driver's seat.

"Are you facking blind Kevin. I'm in the back seat. Leon is in the front seat. Both of us expect for you I might add are wearing seat belts. Is that good enough for you?" David shot back.

"Uggghh! You don't have to ruin the fun. You sad little road killed mongoose who is being used as a potty pit for pigeons. You're not gonna be happy until someone shoveled your sit filled existence from the grand road called the world. Can you top that you sad little mongoose? Oh, I'm good." Kevin dissed.

"Fack you Kevin."

"Okay, brus(South African Slang for bros) calm down." Leon ordered. He then looks at David, "Did you bring my belt holster?"

"Yeah, I did. Just like you wanted. A tan colored belt holster. Took me a while finding this one." As David hands the gun holster to Leon.

"Thanks David." As Leon removes his white dress shirt and wears the recently purchased black spandex t-shirt instead. And then he wears the tanned gun holster over his black, spandex t-shirt.

Airport

"So this is goodbye huh Leo?" Kevin said.

"Yeah." As Leon's eyes fell on a brown bomber jacket that Kevin was holding in his arms, "What's that?"

"Yeah...That's a ummmmm...a gift from me and David. Come on, David say something."

"Well ummm..Leon..Could you..just..turn around...?" David asked.

Leon knew they wanted to help him wear his gift (brown bomber jacket). Leon then turned around as instructed. As both David and Kevin helped him to wear that brown bomber jacket.

When Leon was finally able wear it. Kevin slapped him on his shoulder, "Like a Big Facking Boss. Who's not only going to slay some Spanish Cult Following Terrorist but he's also gonna slay the heart of President's busty daughter."

"Sigh!" If it was normal situation Leon would've laughed at Kevin's joke. But he was having a lot of doubts on his mind right now.

"Shouldn't we group hug? It's isn't considered gai in this situation." David suggested.

All three friends group hugged each other. It was what they needed. Things were tense for the past few days. They joked with each other, teased each other just in order to reduce that tension.

During this group hug, all three friends kept their eyes closed and not opening it even for few seconds. Because they didn't want to see the world in this brief moment. They wanted to see each other one last time in this brief yet warm moment.

"Are you sit scared, Leo?" David asked while keeping his eyes closed.

"Yeah!" Leon replied while keeping his eyes closed too.

"Hang in there tiger." Kevin said while keeping his eyes closed.

"Sigh!" The three friends maintained their group hug for good two or three minutes.

After breaking off the group hug. Leon was about to leave for the airplane before he was stopped by Kevin, "Yo Leo."

"Yeah." Leon looked back.

"If another some zombie outbreak occurs in that Spanish village. Would you tap presidential as? You know she wouldn't be using that bich shield against you." Kevin joked.

"Sigh!"

"Ashley Graham is actually your type of girl. Busty and blonde." David joked.

Leon impishly smiles at both David and Kevin before he leaves, "Ashley is 100% my type of girl. But there's only one as that I'm gonna tap. It's that of an honest woman." With that Leon leaves.

A/N: Well if it wasn't that much obvious to ya all fine people whom Leon referring to. Then, yes Leon was referring to Claire. She's that titular "Honest Woman" character after all lol. So Cleon fans rejoice.

Yes, Claire was being jealous of Ada during the events of Resident Evil 2. Don't look at me like that. I'm not making sits up. It happened. In Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles. Go play that game.

Yes, this specific fanfic is set before the events of Resident Evil 4. Sorry, I didn't tell you that ;)

Finally, I'm actually proud, especially of that last moment. I was successful in showing that strong bond between David, Leon, and Kevin. I was originally afraid that I would screw that powerful friendship moment up.

And I originally planned to use bathos in that group hug part. Make a bad joke about it and ruin that moment intentionally. But thank God I didn't. Pathos always works no matter how cheesy that moment is.

Anyways this was howlin blood speaking over n out.