Prologue
The first time I saw his face, I was struck by lightning but I didn't die. In fact, I have felt even more alive. That's how I knew that I love him. My husband, my soulmate, and my other half. My Christian.
They always told me to fight for what I want. They always told me that when you want something, you go and get it. I don't believe in destiny. When we want something to happen, we make them happen. We have to control things in our hands.
That's what I thought when I was two years younger.
Now I am standing on a veranda overlooking the fountain below. The stars are shining bright above me but they don't reflect inside his eyes. He is so gorgeous in his navy blue tux. He is my husband. He is the man I love . . . but he doesn't love me back.
I thought things were going smooth. I thought things were turning out to be good. But here we are, standing in a space far enough that no one can hear us. There's a party inside but I feel like the world just crashed on my shoulders. I feel like going home. But where is home?
With tears escaping my eyes and my heart trembling beneath my chest, and my red long gown covering my shaking legs, I finally ask him the question.
"Will you ever love me?"
I guess I am wrong then. In the matters of love, we don't get to coerce things. Love works on its own. If it's mean to be, it will be, that's what they said. I should have believed them.
I asked him again, "Will you ever love me?"
"I don't think I will," he answered.
Then I made the most difficult decision of my life.
I am giving up on him.