"Avada Kedavra!"
Those two words echoed around the courtyard of Hogwarts School of Bitchcraft and Hypocrisy. Lord Voldemort had finally triumphed over that stupid f**ktard Harry Potter. Almost all of the late teen's friends had systematically either joined Voldemort or been killed off. The Darkest Wanker of the century let out a truly evil laugh, chilling both allies and enemies to the bone, which promptly turned into a long, hacking cough.
Harry Potter got up of the white floor, feeling woozy and disoriented. Wait, white? Yep, definitely white. Where the hell am I? he wondered. Suddenly a figure came out of the mist that surrounded him. "Professor Dumbledore? Is that you? What are you doing here?" The old man scratched his beard with a confused expression on his face. "Dumbledore? Who the hell is this Dumbledore? I am Albert Dildodorf, Head Tacher at Porcupineblisters School of Stupidity and Shittiness, Order of the Old Gay Dudes, First Class, and Chief Asshole of the Assholegamot." Al puffed up his chest, looking like a ruffled grouse in the process, extremely proud of his titles. "Tacher? What's a Tacher?" Harry, being the stupid dumb-ass that he is, was still stuck on the Tacher part. "A Tacher, my young friend, also called a teacher-" Harry interrupted Dildodorf's soon-to-be monologue. "So you're a teacher. Why are you called a Tacher?" Dildodorf, in his apparently infinite patience, explained. "I am called a Tacher because of a fucking spelling error from that goddamn piece of shit good-for-nothing author that's totally not writing this right now." Harry, still mystified, nodded. Suddenly, another figure appeared from the mist. He looked quite a bit like a young Dumbledore. He walked up to Harry and shook his hand vigorously. "Hello, I am Al-Wal Humblewhore, Headmaster of Dogshit Academy for Whores and Dick-Suckers, Order of the Shitty Stupid-asses, First Class, and Chief Manipulative Fucker of the Manipulative Fuckergamot, and an overall pornstar that was never really that great but thinks he was the fucking awesomest person in the whole damn world. Harry wiped his hand off on his trousers after shaking Humblewhore's hand. Harry, Dildodorf, and Humblewhore watched as two more 'umble'ores emerged from the mist. Two hours and thirty-seven more 'umble'ores and 'il'o'orfs, Harry was nearing the breaking point of names of he could remember. The next wave of 'umble'ores came, but even this wave, numbering over four billion, wasn't even close to a five hundred millionth this time- not even a five hundred millionth percent of the sheer amount of 'umble'ores in the White Space of Shittiness. Harry died again, this time of a heart attack, after seeing several hundred thousand 'umble'ores decide to have a huge orgy. Dildodorf and Humblewhore looked at his dead body, shrugged, and proceeded to shag each other to death.
Harry shot up from his bed, already having sweated approximately three thousand pints of water. My God, he thought. That was a horrible dream. Harry shuddered. Seeing eight hundred and forty-one thousand, seven hundred and thirty-two 'umble'ores fuck each other was not something he wanted to go through again.