WARNING: Infantalism (please don't judge me)
The atmosphere was slightly damp. As if the laundry had been left out for too long and hadn't dried properly. As if the clothes hadn't been on straightened out and now had creases that had to be ironed out with much needed intensity. Carlisle had a nagging feeling that some one had crumpled up the freshly washed clothes intentionally. As if the damp atmosphere wasn't a circumstance caused by unforeseen and unavoidable decisions, Carlisle wasn't the telepath, but he knew that this was the result of a recent, purposeful, altercation. He kept himself updated, and the thing is, he was very well aware that this had been going on for quite sometime. A few weeks, actually. But Carlisle didn't bother himself with it because he knew Esme was handling whatever was going on. He vaguely recalled a few arguments halting as he entered hearing range. And it's not to say he wasn't curious, he sure as hell was but ultimately decided that Esme and the kids needed some space to sort out their issues.
That is, until he found Esme crying.
They were tearless sobs that echoed in the the spacious living room. Horrible sounds, as if they were being clawed out of her throat unnaturally. Her eyes vacant, unblinking as the sounds of pain ripped into Carlisle's heart. He had never seen her so distraught. Yet, not a single emotion could be deciphered from her face. She was unmoving, her pale skin smooth and porcelain , a statue of a goddess. But the inhumane screeches that passed her still lips told Carlisle another story altogether.
He was at her side in an instant.
"Who?" He asked gently. Hundreds of years lived and the one conclusion he's come to is simple; people respond to the empathetic.
She heard him. And he knew she heard him. And she knew that he knew she heard. Maybe that was the only reason she responded. Not the empathy.
"It's very complicated" Esme said in a way that sounded reproachful. Her voice a negative fraction of the joyful song like tone Carlisle was accustomed to.
Carlisle ran his hand through his hair impatiently. Not that he was impatient, the constant enacting on human mannerisms was seeping into his real life. So much so, it was becoming hard to tell the difference between what he felt and what he was pretending to feel.
"I asked you who." This time it wasn't a question, a mere statement. But this time around, Carlisle was forceful.
Esme narrowed her eyes.
"And I told you it was complicated."
Carlisle noted, almost fondly, that her ego hadn't been damaged in the casualties of whatever had happened. He took in a deep breath.
"Please darling, just tell me which one."
Carlisle was returning to the soft voice, even going as far as rubbing small circles into Esme's shoulder.
Esme sighed tiredly.
"Edward and I-"
Carlisle stood up and swiftly made his way upstairs.
He could comfort Esme later, right now, under that understanding facade, he was absolutely fuming.
The door to Edwards room was closed, a firm message to anyone who was passing by that he wanted to be left alone.
Carlisle wasn't just anyone.
It wasn't often that someone closed their doors in the house, really it was because there was nothing to hide. Or, more accurately, nothing that could be hid. With everyone's heightened sense of hearing, all attempts at obstructing something proved to be futile. When they really need privacy, as in the consummating of primal urges, the cabin so far out into the woods was of use. So, when Edward closed his door, everyone tuned their thoughts down, knowing that it was his gift that was becoming too much for him. At times, Jasper would even go as far as to think of nothing completely. A hard thing to do for anyone else, but it was something done for Edward because Jasper understood the feelings that swarmed him. The endless thoughts that invaded his mind. Jasper knew that it even went as far as Edward not being able to think for himself. His opinions adulterated by perspectives of those around him. He could become easily susceptible if a thought was projected to loudly, or with too much force. And it dragged Edward back to the age old questions;
Who am I? What do I think? Am I being controlled?
In some sadly amusing way, it was as if his mind never outgrown his teenage angst. He was a child in body and mind, even the passing of hundreds of years couldn't change that.
Carlisle stood outside of the door, hesitantly. Edward wanted privacy. He wanted to be alone, Carlisle was sure. But in a fleeting moment, he recalled Esme downstairs. Poor, sorrow stricken Esme.
Carlisle opened the door.
And what he saw pulled at his heartstrings in a way only his firstborn was capable of doing. The special connection between them sometimes even lost on Esme. Feelings between them that prompted confusion from Jasper as well as a tad bit of flaring jealousy. The bond between them so strong that Emmet once joked it was something he couldn't even break. He wasn't wrong.
Edward was lying of the floor, curled into a tight ball as if he was trying to keep warm or ward of the feeling of coldness. Regardless of the fact that it was impossible for Edward to feel anything of the sort, Carlisle still felt the need to cover him with a soft blanket. A thought that didn't go undetected by Edward, as he let out a small whimper in response. Almost as if he agreed with Carlisle's unreasonable thought. His eyes screwed shut so tightly, that it seemed as though the pain on his face might have been physical. His breathing, useless as it maybe, was labored and harsh. All the signs of a broken down child present, making him look...well, human.
Carlisle anger subdued.
He made his way over to Edward slowly, afraid of any reaction the boy might have. And just as slowly, he lowered himself onto the floor. Sitting cross-legged at Edwards head.
"Son.." He murmured softly, shaking Edwards shoulders in the slightest.
And that was all it took, Edward crawled into Carlisle's lap and pressed his head into his fathers chest. An action he hadn't done since he was a newborn. Carlisle stroked Edwards arm repeatedly, thinking the same thing he had been thinking since he came home today;
What the hell is going on?
They stayed like that for several hours, probably the better part of the night. Though, if anything, it seemed like it was cut short. Living their particular lifestyle it was easy to have a deluded sense of time. It was easy to get caught up with something for longer periods of time than necessary, especially when it was something that made them feel so human. Something that had them reminisce the past just enough without being nostalgic. It was the perfect mesh of what they are and where they wanted to be. But, alas it was broken short when both of them heard Emmet's jeep roll up into the drive way in the early hours of the morning. They had all been hunting. Both Carlisle and Edward could smell the difference. The fulfillment that radiated off them, the rambunctious voices that filled the air. Most probably just Emmet and Alice, but warm and welcomed all the same.
"Why didn't you go with them?" Carlisle asked standing up suddenly.
Edward hadn't moved, only sitting up slightly so his weight was no longer fully dispensed onto Carlisle. It was probably the worst possible thought he could have at a moment like this and considering the situation he went through with Esme, but he didn't like the feeling of not leaning on someone
Edward looked up at Carlisle in a petulantly defiant way.
"Didn't want that."
Carlisle raised an eyebrow. Since when does Edward turn down hunting trips?
"We'll, alright. We still have to talk about what has got you and Esme so riled up"
Edward looked up, with a face of what looked like shame.
"She doesn't have to be there, does she?" He had whispered the words but they were heard by Carlisle as if they had been screamed.
And, not only had Carlisle heard them, he was additionally very confused by them. Edward and Esme had never had any problems before. Come to think of it, none of the kids had ever had a problem with Esme. She was just that type of person. And from what Carlisle witnessed, he always thought them to have a loving relationship. Esme treated them all as her children, but Edward being the one who lost his mother so young, she tried all the more so with him. And he appreciated it, he reveled in the special attention he was given. Esme had once confided in Carlisle that she would casually send out thoughts of encouragement and loving appreciation to Edward. After that, Carlisle caught Edward smiling to himself on more than one occasion. It showed, he loved being the baby of the family. He adored being coddled, he just didn't want it out in the open for everyone to turn to with a critical eye. He was afraid, something Jasper didn't even need to verify. It was clear as day.
Seeing Edward's expression, Carlisle felt the last straw escape his grasp. He was tired of not knowing. And as if his thoughts were being echoed, Carlisle heard Jasper's unmistakable drawl form the downstairs living room.
"What happened here?"
Edward flinched, as if just remembering of his brothers gift. Then, proceeded to try and snuff out all emotions.
"STOP!" A loud shout was carried upstairs.
Unlike Edward, Jasper couldn't stand having other people shut off around him. Though he didn't always appreciate his gift, Jasper felt empty without the whirlwind of emotions that stirred around him. He felt an unnatural gap, that hollowed out his chest completely. And, right now, felt as though Edward was picking away at him slowly.
Carlisle looked at Edward sternly.
Edward covered his face with his hands, quickly.
"Don't wanna let Jasper know how I feel."
Carlisle glare softened.
"Alright, then. Lets leave his range, how about that?"
Edward nodded enthusiastically. He liked being asked, he knew it was extremely childish, but couldn't really help the automatic reaction of a smile.
"And Esme too." His father added.
Edward's smile dropped instantly. He wanted to leave as quickly as possible, not wanting Jasper to feel his latest emotion;
Fear.
Esme suggested they make their way to the cabin, Carlisle seconded that, Edward felt as though his opinion didn't matter. He knew he was in trouble.
On reaching the cabin, Carlisle stopped both his wife and son at the door.
"Whatever is said here, stays in here. I want you too feel like your in a safe place."
He wasn't specially addressing Edward, but the way he stared at him as he said it proved what he was thinking.
That, and Edward read his mind.
Esme unlocked the door and pushed it open with little to no force.
Edward walked in, his mother and father trailing behind him. Carlisle gripped his shoulder before he could walk any further.
"I feel as though this is the perfect time for you to explain."
Edward bit his lip.
"It's embarrassing."
"No," Esme said firmly "It absolutely isn't."
Then everything went awkward. And once again, Carlisle felt very out of the loop.
"One of you, just tell me already." By now, Carlisle sounded more worried than exasperated.
"I-I've been having irrational tendencies." Edward said without looking anywhere but the floor.
"Not irrational" Esme said strictly.
Edward looked like he was about to cry.
"I can't stop them!"
Esme looked at Edward lovingly.
"You don't need to" she said convincingly.
Edward took a tentative step forward.
" Please don't lie to me" he wasn't demanding it, he was pleading the epitome of genuineness.
"I would be never"
And after a moment; Edward probably reading her mind and confirming, pushed past Carlisle and into Esme's arms.
"Okay" he whispered. "I'd really like to try."
Esme moved him to the couch gently.
"What's happening?" Carlisle mouthed to Esme over Edwards head.
"Just watch" she mouthed back.
Esme sat on the sofa, pulling Edward on to her lap closely. Then she started undoing the buttons of her blouse, as Edward watched eagerly. When Esme's bra was unhooked, Carlisle understood what was happening.
She was feeding him. It only took a moment for Carlisle's shock to turn into endearment.
Esme rubbed her thumb around her teat in small circles, probably wanting to stimulate some blood. She took her other hand and placed it behind Edwards head. When she was ready, she guided his head to her breast, and sighed in relief as he began to suck.
Carlisle loved the sight.
He made his way behind the sofa so he could get a better look of his baby boy. And on seeing him so at peace, Carlisle ran his fingers through the young boys hair and placed his other hand on Esme's shoulder.
Edward looked up his father with largely innocent eyes, and he continued to obtain his blood.
He felt safe. They all felt safe.
But that didn't mean they no longer had anything to talk about.
He was finished in six to seven minutes, but kept his head leaned up against Esme's breast for at least another ten. Carlisle didn't have the heart to force him into a conversation.
Edwards eyes were closed, if Carlisle was an ignorant onlooker it almost looked as if he were sleeping. Esme was peppering him with kisses ever so often.
And after a moment, he sat up in Esme's lap abruptly.
"I'm sorry" Edward said, wringing his fingers. "I'll try to stop, but I just can't help it."
And that's when Esme broke down. And as if a chain reaction was set off, Edward crawled off her lap and curled up on the floor.
It took Carlisle an entire minute, but he thought he figured it out.
"How many times has this happened?"
Esme looked up, slightly startled.
"What, the feedings?"
Carlisle nodded.
"This is the third one"
Carlisle picked up Edward and sat down with him next to Esme.
"And they always end like this?"
Esme let out a dry laugh.
"Irrefutably"
Carlisle was now certain.
"Okay" be said, rubbing Edwards back supportively. "This is what's going on; both of you need these feedings. For some reason they nourish Edward and Esme was born maternal. The problem arises, after them when Edward feels embarrassed."
Carlisle looked at Edward directly.
"And this is hurting your mother."
Edward looked down, ashamed.
"I'm sorry"
Esme cried all the more harder.
Carlisle let out deep breath.
"Are you alright, dear?"
If anything Carlisle had expected this to quieten Esme, not make her cry harder.
"You don't need to be sorry, baby" Esme said, ignoring her husband completely.
Edward pressed his face into Carlisle's side.
Carlisle could feel the youngster heaving.
"Don't wanna be a hassle" Edward mumbled through Carlisle's sleeve.
Esme turned abruptly, taking Edwards face in her hands.
"I promise, I would do anything and everything for you. And it would never be a hassle"
Esme ran her thumb across Edwards cheek.
"I want to be your Mum, sweetie. Please let me."
Edward nodded furiously, moving toward Esme.
And the moment they made contact, all three family members let out a sigh of relief.
Maybe things wouldn't be so bad.
A/N: Wow, I cant believe i just did that. I've been wanting to post this for the longest time. Please, if you have something derogatory to say about the stuff I like to write and read, don't. I get enough negativity.