Disclaimer: I do not own CSI
AN: Thousand thanks to Rhee for beta reading! You're the best!
Summary: Post 622; What happened after the screen faded to black?
Fantasies
She felt how her cheeks began to blush and she wished that she could break the contact with his eyes, but something stronger than her will kept her away from doing so. While her cheeks blushed a shy smile built up on her lips, she tried to ignore how fast her heart was beating but this did not work either. So much for being over him.
His lips formed into a soft smile, he did not know what it was that let him feel that it was alright to look at her like this, he was just glad that he had allowed it to himself. Something had changed; something had changed the way he thought about a possible relationship with her.
At first he had feared to lose his job, a job that he had been working for, for all his life. In addition to this he had known that he was not every woman's dream guy; he did not have a six-pack, he did not have a very muscular body, even though his arms were pretty muscular, he had gray hair and he should maybe lose a little weight. And Sara, in contrast to him, Sara was the most beautiful woman he had ever met; her perfect brown eyes, her incredible beautiful smile, her wonderful silk like hair, her perfectly shaped lips, her long legs; she was perfect. She was beautiful. And he had always felt intimidated by her beauty.
Then, when he had realized that she had feelings for him, he had feared that as soon as he would let her into his life, as soon as he would let her become a part of him, she would lose her interest in him. Or that one day, when for him it would already be impossible to survive without her in his life, she would meet someone to whom she felt more attracted to than to him, for whom she might feel more, someone who might fascinate her more than he ever could. As soon as she would become a part of his life, living without her would kill him.
Some time ago, she had said something about people who should not be together. And he had felt that she had been talking about them. She had felt rejected by him and she had felt as if he would not want to be with her. And she had probably given up on chasing him; she had given up the hope of ever winning his heart. He had felt his heart aching and even though he had wanted to talk about it with her; he just lacked the guts to ask her. He had feared her answer. He had feared that he was too late.
But then, then she had told Hodges that gray hair would be very attractive. Grissom had felt his heart jumping frantically in his chest. Had she been talking about him? No matter about whom she had been talking, she liked men with gray hair and this had definitely given him new confidence; when she liked men with gray hair she would not be interested in all those younger guys, in those who he had always seen as rivals. He knew that this was stupid, the whole thing had never been about his outward appearance, but in fact, he was 15 years older than she was and he had always been scared that someone might think that he would be her father. Paranoid but this was really his worst nightmare. But now he had made the decision to finally act on his feelings, he was still waiting for the right moment though.
This is probably the right moment. He still hesitated. Sara was usually the first one who jumped up when someone suggested having breakfast, but tonight she had not even looked up. Not before the others had left. Their eyes had met immediately once again, just like they had before during the whole conversation, and he had felt that she preferred being here with him, alone. But he knew that she must be hungry. Maybe he should ask her out for breakfast.
The conversation with this Caprice guy had been weird. So he could figure out his clients secret desires without them even knowing; what were Grissom's secret desires she wondered. The way Caprice had looked at them and then had wished them that all their dreams may come true had sent cold showers down her spine. Was it possible that Caprice had maybe, maybe gotten the surmise that Grissom desired her? However she should not get her hopes up, but the way Grissom had looked at her during the conversation tonight had only added up to her optimism.
Maybe I should ask him to have breakfast with me? But then again, this whole 'asking out to have dinner or breakfast or lunch' theme had a bad ending once before.
He was still looking at her! But his expression had softened; it was more caring, maybe? Or loving? Okay, she needed to get rid of this idea that he might love her. He had ignored her for too long. But this damned expression in his eyes; a look said more than thousand words!
She sighed. She was going to stand up and leave; she just couldn't stand the tension anymore. But then Grissom broke the silence.
"Are you hungry?" This was probably not what she had wanted him to say but at least he had said something. He was not trying to find out that she was hungry because he wanted to ask her out for breakfast, was he? She had to say yes! She was hungry anyway so it would not even be a lie.
She wanted to answer but she couldn't speak. What the hell was this? One word, she only had to say one word, why didn't she manage to get it over her lips?
Grissom swallowed hard, why didn't she answer? He could see that she got slightly nervous and he hoped that this was a good sign. He decided to not wait for her answer; it was probably now or never. "Would you like to have breakfast with me?" His heart was beating up to his throat. Say yes, please say yes, please say yes, please pleasepleaseplease.
Okay, he had asked her out for breakfast, and she could tell that this was definitely not meant as a breakfast as colleagues or friends. No, this look in his eyes, the whole expressions on his face. She felt the butterflies in her stomach and this did not really calm her down. She tried to suppress the teen-aged school girl smile that built up on her lips but it was almost impossible. "I'd love to." She cursed herself, a simple 'yes' would have done it; without exposing her!
A bright smile flashed over his lips. "Then let's go." He left his seat and she followed him.
After leaving the building she thought that he'd head for his car but he didn't. "What do you think about walking?" He offered with this cute expression in his eyes.
She definitely felt like a teenager now. "Okay." She was surprised but she did not bother, This Grissom was more like the Grissom she had met in San Francisco. She was glad that he had somehow changed back into the man she had fallen in love with so many years ago. She had missed this boyish grin on his lips and the waggish glimmer in his eyes.
"This case was interesting." She broke the silence after a while. Walking down the strip next to him in the early morning hours felt weird. She did not know if he would want to talk about more personal subjects, she did not know about what they could talk at all, because he had always been so close-lipped when it came to personal things.
He grinned. "Yeah, definitely." How cute was she, she was really nervous! He wished he could simply pull her into his arms and hold her and press her close against him. But he definitely lacked the guts for that. She would probably not even like it, it was better to take things slow; he couldn't jump from zero to thirty in just one second. There was something he could do though, something that he knew he wouldn't feel uncomfortable with and she wouldn't either.
Had he just taken her hand into his? She forgot to breath! Gil Grissom was holding her hand, while walking down the strip with her. They were holding hands! Her heart began to race again. And then he even squeezed her hand softly. She felt as if she was in heaven. She felt his eyes on her so she turned her face to him.
The bright smile on her lips reassured him that he had done the right thing. Her hand was so soft, he could hold it forever. Slowly he slipped his thumb over her fingers and smiled back at her.
She felt so much more comfortable now. "So, what are your fantasies Griss?" She asked with an impish smile.
A smile so cute that he had to chuckle. Then he smirked and squeezed her hand again. "Well, this is one of them."
THE END
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