Darkest Hours
By: Shawen A. Greer
Rating: G
Classification: MSR, Angst
Disclaimer: As everyone already knows, these characters
don't belong to me but to Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting
and 1013 Productions. They are borrowed without
permission, but without intent of infringement.
SUMMARY: Takes place during the missing scene of
Sein Und Zeit
SPOILERS: Sein Und Zeit
FEEDBACK: Please, please, please!
shawen@altavista.com
My stories and lots of other great ones are at The Hall of
'X' www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/8840
Special thanks as always to Georgia for the beta and the
encouragement
........................................................
Mulder's Apartment
Scully had never seen Mulder so broken, so lost. His
anguish was only surpassed by his anger. Anger towards
his mother for leaving him and taking with her so many
unanswered questions, as well as an insatiable anger
toward those that he felt sure were accountable for her
death. But the biggest portion of the anger he harbored
against himself for disregarding her first call and for not
being there for her second, which was to be her last.
There was so much she had wanted to tell him. Though
he was sure that she had attempted to reveal something to
him even in her death, he was clueless as to what that
secret could be.
Finally unable to contend with the emptiness he felt
inside, he surrendered himself into his partner's arms, his
tears flowing freely as his tormented sobs fell on her
shoulder. The force of his grief shook them both, and
soon she realized that her tears had joined his with every
moan that echoed his wounded heart. She held him to her
breast and rocked him as she would a frightened child,
whispering comfort in his ears though she knew they had
probably numbed long ago as he slipped deeper into a
dark and soundless abyss.
Without warning, he pulled away from her with an
intensity that sent her reeling backwards onto the floor.
She watched in awe, witnessing first hand his grief in
expected stages. He had already conquered denial thanks
to the forensic report that she had delivered, refuting any
plausibility that his mother had been murdered. Mulder
had been forced to accept those findings, having asked
Scully to indulge him the favor of performing his
mother's autopsy, knowing that she alone would search
for the truth.
His anger took over now and the items that had managed
to remain on his desk with the first assault were now
fiercely cast aside. His hollow cries were like that of a
wounded animal and Scully watched as the small lamp
was ripped out of the wall and smashed to the floor
exploding into a barrage of glass and plastic. The coffee
table was flipped end over end with a single heave and
finally exhausted, he melted into the broken glass and
discarded papers wishing himself to be discarded as well.
She crawled to him oblivious to the jagged pieces that
threatened her small hands and pulled him to her. This
time he did not surrender to the comfort she offered, and
he turned away pulling his long body into ball like a
troubled child. However, Scully having the strong and
determined mind of her father, refused to accept his
attempt at seclusion.
His voice was raspy and foreign as it landed on her ears,
his arms thrashing wildly at her attempts to hold him.
"Get away from me, Scully. Just go away."
"I'm not leaving you Mulder." Her hand reached out
again to touch his shoulder, but his response was as
though she was lightning.
"No Scully, no." he pleaded with hardened sobs. "Don't
you understand? I can't lose you again. Walk away
while you still can." He lay on that hard floor covering
the remnants of the lamp and associated rubble, his
breathing strained by the crushing weight of his sorrow.
The tears burned her cheeks and the pain in her chest was
unbearable. She feared that he was sinking faster than
she could save him, but she was determined to try. She
knew his heart. He needed her, though he was unwilling
to admit it, but he also feared their closeness. Everything
he had was now taken away, and he had already lost
Scully once. He could not live through that again,
especially now. There was no one else left for him.
The broken glass popped and crackled under her legs as
she used all her strength to roll his shivering body onto
her lap. Emotionally weak, he no longer had the strength
to fight her and she pulled him so tightly to her that she
could feel his heart beat in her own chest. Her arms held
him tightly as she rocked slightly from side to side
stroking his hair until his shaking subsided and his sobs
turned to an occasional whimper.
He looked up at her, calmer now, his eyes pink and
swollen from the tears. They sat searching one another's
faces for what seemed like hours, though it could have
only been minutes, trying to find the words that needed to
be said, but words right now were unnecessary.
His head still lay against her breast and he could feel the
beat of her heart, rhythmic in its spell. Her hand brushed
the side of his hot face as it had been doing since he
turned to her, then she just stopped, her hand remaining
on his cheek.
Still captured by his dreamlike state, the sight of Scully's
face lowering closer to his seemed unreal. However, the
feel of her soft lips touching his cheek felt quite real to
his stinging skin. He closed his eyes lost in the sensation,
and she gently kissed them one at a time before coming to
rest on his lips.
She kissed them twice before his mind was able to
register what was happening. It all seemed like a dream,
and he just lay there in the shelter of her arms drowning
in an endless sea of emotion having traveled the course
from desolation now to increasing elation.
He responded to her next kiss, this time his mouth
opening to receive hers, each if them emitting small cries
feeling the undeniable hunger that was awakened. Their
passion came in a wave of exhilaration turning the kisses
from gentle comfort to ardent need. He remained in her
arms, holding her beautiful face in the palms of his hands
expressing his inner most thoughts with his mouth though
not with words. His blood coursed through his veins
pounding in his head again with every beat of his heart.
He pulled away to catch his breath and to look into her
eyes, unprepared for the frightening sight before him. He
thought, at first, the blood was hers against the delicate
white of her skin, but realized that it was from his own
hand, which had been cut rather badly in his earlier
conflict.
He lifted it away from her face slowly staring at the
gaping wound as if seeing his own blood for the first
time. He cradled it in his other hand for a moment and
then looked up at Scully still in a daze and unsure of what
to do.
"Mulder!" Her exclamation pierced the silence that had
settled around them, watching the slow stream of blood
pooling into his open palm from below his thumb at the
base of his hand.
"Where's your first aid kit?" she asked as she rose to her
feet.
His head rose to look at her, but his eyes were far away.
"Mulder," she said, a little more forceful this time, "first
aid kit?"
"It's under the, uh, bathroom sink," he answered, more
like a question than a statement.
She returned seconds later with a dampened washcloth,
the first aid kit, and an ancient bottle of peroxide, helping
him to the sofa and out of the remaining glass.
Using the gauze from the first aid kit and a quick splash
from the bottle, she expertly cleaned the cut to reveal
what she had hoped. It had looked worse than it actually
was, and she could probably stop the bleeding with a
butterfly instead of taking him for stitches.
He watched as her doctor's hands moved quickly to repair
his hand using the same compassion that had fought him
so desperately to repair his heart and his mind. The
bandage seemed to serve its purpose as the bleeding
stopped, and she fell back into the sofa with a sigh and
closed her eyes.
He quietly took the washcloth that lay across her knee
that she had carried out but not used, and after brushing
her hair away from her face, gently rubbed it against her
cheek where the crimson streaks had dried. Her left arm
reached up to take his hand, still holding the damp cloth
to her cheek. Their eyes found each other again and they
both smiled at the unspoken words that they shared. She
dropped her hand again by her side, allowing him to
demonstrate his gratefulness to her for all that she was,
and for all she was to become.
When he was finished, he gently touched a kiss to her
once again white cheek and settled back into the arm of
the sofa pulling her down with him. She laid her head on
his chest, her body spreading out to lie between his legs,
pushing her shoes off the backs of her heels and allowing
them to fall to the floor.
He leaned his head down just far enough to kiss this top
of hers, and wrapped his arms around her. He laid there
in the semi-darkness, thinking of how wonderful it felt to
hold her this way. He heavy eyes closed and his thoughts
turned to dreams as he drifted off in restful sleep.
The next morning ..
The darkness had given way to bright sunlight as it filled
the room with a new hope, exposing the remnants from
the frightening scene the night before.
Scully opened her eyes on the familiar yet strange
surroundings, hearing the sharp knocks that had wakened
her. She managed to crawl out of Mulder's embrace, and
stepped quickly to answer the door.
It opened to reveal Walter Skinner, looking both
professional and concerned. "How's he doing?" he asked
with stern sincerity.
Her blues eyes revealed so much, but told him nothing.
"It's been a hard night for him." He noticed her flinch as
she said it, and knew that it must have been a hard night
for her as well. Before he could ask anymore, a weary
eyed Mulder appeared behind Scully confirming her
statement.
Skinner pressed his teeth tightly together to retain his
stern and professional demeanor, secretly unsettled at the
void he still saw in Mulder's eyes. But there was a
newness there too, which he was sure must be Scully.
By: Shawen A. Greer
Rating: G
Classification: MSR, Angst
Disclaimer: As everyone already knows, these characters
don't belong to me but to Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting
and 1013 Productions. They are borrowed without
permission, but without intent of infringement.
SUMMARY: Takes place during the missing scene of
Sein Und Zeit
SPOILERS: Sein Und Zeit
FEEDBACK: Please, please, please!
shawen@altavista.com
My stories and lots of other great ones are at The Hall of
'X' www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/8840
Special thanks as always to Georgia for the beta and the
encouragement
........................................................
Mulder's Apartment
Scully had never seen Mulder so broken, so lost. His
anguish was only surpassed by his anger. Anger towards
his mother for leaving him and taking with her so many
unanswered questions, as well as an insatiable anger
toward those that he felt sure were accountable for her
death. But the biggest portion of the anger he harbored
against himself for disregarding her first call and for not
being there for her second, which was to be her last.
There was so much she had wanted to tell him. Though
he was sure that she had attempted to reveal something to
him even in her death, he was clueless as to what that
secret could be.
Finally unable to contend with the emptiness he felt
inside, he surrendered himself into his partner's arms, his
tears flowing freely as his tormented sobs fell on her
shoulder. The force of his grief shook them both, and
soon she realized that her tears had joined his with every
moan that echoed his wounded heart. She held him to her
breast and rocked him as she would a frightened child,
whispering comfort in his ears though she knew they had
probably numbed long ago as he slipped deeper into a
dark and soundless abyss.
Without warning, he pulled away from her with an
intensity that sent her reeling backwards onto the floor.
She watched in awe, witnessing first hand his grief in
expected stages. He had already conquered denial thanks
to the forensic report that she had delivered, refuting any
plausibility that his mother had been murdered. Mulder
had been forced to accept those findings, having asked
Scully to indulge him the favor of performing his
mother's autopsy, knowing that she alone would search
for the truth.
His anger took over now and the items that had managed
to remain on his desk with the first assault were now
fiercely cast aside. His hollow cries were like that of a
wounded animal and Scully watched as the small lamp
was ripped out of the wall and smashed to the floor
exploding into a barrage of glass and plastic. The coffee
table was flipped end over end with a single heave and
finally exhausted, he melted into the broken glass and
discarded papers wishing himself to be discarded as well.
She crawled to him oblivious to the jagged pieces that
threatened her small hands and pulled him to her. This
time he did not surrender to the comfort she offered, and
he turned away pulling his long body into ball like a
troubled child. However, Scully having the strong and
determined mind of her father, refused to accept his
attempt at seclusion.
His voice was raspy and foreign as it landed on her ears,
his arms thrashing wildly at her attempts to hold him.
"Get away from me, Scully. Just go away."
"I'm not leaving you Mulder." Her hand reached out
again to touch his shoulder, but his response was as
though she was lightning.
"No Scully, no." he pleaded with hardened sobs. "Don't
you understand? I can't lose you again. Walk away
while you still can." He lay on that hard floor covering
the remnants of the lamp and associated rubble, his
breathing strained by the crushing weight of his sorrow.
The tears burned her cheeks and the pain in her chest was
unbearable. She feared that he was sinking faster than
she could save him, but she was determined to try. She
knew his heart. He needed her, though he was unwilling
to admit it, but he also feared their closeness. Everything
he had was now taken away, and he had already lost
Scully once. He could not live through that again,
especially now. There was no one else left for him.
The broken glass popped and crackled under her legs as
she used all her strength to roll his shivering body onto
her lap. Emotionally weak, he no longer had the strength
to fight her and she pulled him so tightly to her that she
could feel his heart beat in her own chest. Her arms held
him tightly as she rocked slightly from side to side
stroking his hair until his shaking subsided and his sobs
turned to an occasional whimper.
He looked up at her, calmer now, his eyes pink and
swollen from the tears. They sat searching one another's
faces for what seemed like hours, though it could have
only been minutes, trying to find the words that needed to
be said, but words right now were unnecessary.
His head still lay against her breast and he could feel the
beat of her heart, rhythmic in its spell. Her hand brushed
the side of his hot face as it had been doing since he
turned to her, then she just stopped, her hand remaining
on his cheek.
Still captured by his dreamlike state, the sight of Scully's
face lowering closer to his seemed unreal. However, the
feel of her soft lips touching his cheek felt quite real to
his stinging skin. He closed his eyes lost in the sensation,
and she gently kissed them one at a time before coming to
rest on his lips.
She kissed them twice before his mind was able to
register what was happening. It all seemed like a dream,
and he just lay there in the shelter of her arms drowning
in an endless sea of emotion having traveled the course
from desolation now to increasing elation.
He responded to her next kiss, this time his mouth
opening to receive hers, each if them emitting small cries
feeling the undeniable hunger that was awakened. Their
passion came in a wave of exhilaration turning the kisses
from gentle comfort to ardent need. He remained in her
arms, holding her beautiful face in the palms of his hands
expressing his inner most thoughts with his mouth though
not with words. His blood coursed through his veins
pounding in his head again with every beat of his heart.
He pulled away to catch his breath and to look into her
eyes, unprepared for the frightening sight before him. He
thought, at first, the blood was hers against the delicate
white of her skin, but realized that it was from his own
hand, which had been cut rather badly in his earlier
conflict.
He lifted it away from her face slowly staring at the
gaping wound as if seeing his own blood for the first
time. He cradled it in his other hand for a moment and
then looked up at Scully still in a daze and unsure of what
to do.
"Mulder!" Her exclamation pierced the silence that had
settled around them, watching the slow stream of blood
pooling into his open palm from below his thumb at the
base of his hand.
"Where's your first aid kit?" she asked as she rose to her
feet.
His head rose to look at her, but his eyes were far away.
"Mulder," she said, a little more forceful this time, "first
aid kit?"
"It's under the, uh, bathroom sink," he answered, more
like a question than a statement.
She returned seconds later with a dampened washcloth,
the first aid kit, and an ancient bottle of peroxide, helping
him to the sofa and out of the remaining glass.
Using the gauze from the first aid kit and a quick splash
from the bottle, she expertly cleaned the cut to reveal
what she had hoped. It had looked worse than it actually
was, and she could probably stop the bleeding with a
butterfly instead of taking him for stitches.
He watched as her doctor's hands moved quickly to repair
his hand using the same compassion that had fought him
so desperately to repair his heart and his mind. The
bandage seemed to serve its purpose as the bleeding
stopped, and she fell back into the sofa with a sigh and
closed her eyes.
He quietly took the washcloth that lay across her knee
that she had carried out but not used, and after brushing
her hair away from her face, gently rubbed it against her
cheek where the crimson streaks had dried. Her left arm
reached up to take his hand, still holding the damp cloth
to her cheek. Their eyes found each other again and they
both smiled at the unspoken words that they shared. She
dropped her hand again by her side, allowing him to
demonstrate his gratefulness to her for all that she was,
and for all she was to become.
When he was finished, he gently touched a kiss to her
once again white cheek and settled back into the arm of
the sofa pulling her down with him. She laid her head on
his chest, her body spreading out to lie between his legs,
pushing her shoes off the backs of her heels and allowing
them to fall to the floor.
He leaned his head down just far enough to kiss this top
of hers, and wrapped his arms around her. He laid there
in the semi-darkness, thinking of how wonderful it felt to
hold her this way. He heavy eyes closed and his thoughts
turned to dreams as he drifted off in restful sleep.
The next morning ..
The darkness had given way to bright sunlight as it filled
the room with a new hope, exposing the remnants from
the frightening scene the night before.
Scully opened her eyes on the familiar yet strange
surroundings, hearing the sharp knocks that had wakened
her. She managed to crawl out of Mulder's embrace, and
stepped quickly to answer the door.
It opened to reveal Walter Skinner, looking both
professional and concerned. "How's he doing?" he asked
with stern sincerity.
Her blues eyes revealed so much, but told him nothing.
"It's been a hard night for him." He noticed her flinch as
she said it, and knew that it must have been a hard night
for her as well. Before he could ask anymore, a weary
eyed Mulder appeared behind Scully confirming her
statement.
Skinner pressed his teeth tightly together to retain his
stern and professional demeanor, secretly unsettled at the
void he still saw in Mulder's eyes. But there was a
newness there too, which he was sure must be Scully.