Hello all! It has been forever and a day since I have written a fanfic and I thought where better than in the Hunger Games.
Sadly I do not own the rights to the Hunger Games, I am only the proud owner of all 3 wonderful Hunger Games creations by Suzanne Collins.
This takes place between the end of Mockingjay and the epilogue. Please tell me if you like it! If not I will not be offended, I would just like to know. If you have any constructive criticism or suggestions on what should happen please PM me. Also, I love getting to know new people so PM me anyways!
Well… Here you go! Enjoy!
Chapter 1: Pushing
By: Chloe Jo
Katniss's POV
I keep pushing. I push everyone I love -or who has ever loved me- away. Now I fear that I have pushed them so far that I will never be able to pull them back to me… It's time to open my eyes and face another pointless, empty day. As I stretch my muscles, after another sleepless night, I hear all my stiff joints crack. Even this tiny motion brings memories flooding back of the one I have pushed farther away than anyone… Peeta.
"My dear, you HAVE to wake up! Please! For me! Wake up! It is killing me to see you this way!" Peeta was trying to comfort me after another horrible nightmare. If the nightmare had not brought me to tears, then Peeta's face did. He had blood trickling from 3 gashes that go from his eye down his neck. Then, as if the physical harm I had caused him was not enough, the look of shear agony in his perfect blues eyes broke my heart. I slowly sit up, horrified with what I had done. I stretched my arms up and my entire joints crack, but I couldn't avoid noticing Peeta flinch away from their reach. The pain I must have caused him to put that look in his eyes…
I am a monster. That day he told me he loved me. The way he used to tell me, 100% honestly. I was so infuriated with myself, for keeping someone so wonderful from someone who deservd him that I made the biggest mistake of my life. I told him to leave, leave and don't come back until I want you to.
"How long will that be? How long must I be away from my heart?" he asked. He was trying to be strong but I could hear the pain in his voice, which only made me hate myself more.
"I don't know… it could be forever."
In that moment, I wanted to tell him to take his heart, take it and run as far away from me as the planet would allow. I wanted him to lose his abundance of patience and to tell me to forget it. To tell me the truth I already knew, that I don't deserve him. Instead he did something that made everything so much worse.
Grabs my tear streamed face, makes me look him in the eyes, and in his most determined voice tells me, "If there is a chance, no matter how small, then I will wait for you. Always."
That was the last time I saw him. That was 3 months ago.
I finally get myself out of bed and shuffle to the bathroom. I had broken the mirror because I could not stand to look at myself. I decide to take a shower, there my tears can be confused with the water and I will not feel as weak. Feel like the slightest breeze could break me. After a few minutes of crying, I give up and slump to the ground. I do not know if I am tired, or if I want to drown, but it doesn't matter. I eventually get out of the shower and face the task of getting dressed. My hand reached for my typical t-shirt and jeans ensemble, but a very different outfit caught my eye.
It was a dress, but not just any dress. It had been a gift from him. It looked identical to the dress my mother had given my on the morning of the reaping of the 74th hunger games, the day I met formally met him. I mentioned that I missed the dress in passing and two weeks later, I found it in my drawer with a note on top of it.
You look beautiful no matter what you wear. Love, Peeta.
On any other day I would have been disgusted by it, burst in to tears even, but today it was different. Today, it brought a sense of comfort to my emptiness.
Then I realized something that changed everything. I don't have to feel this way. My life doesn't have to be a waste. I just have to do one thing…
Find him.
Thanks for reading the first chapter! I really hope you liked it because I liked writing it. I have so many ideas for where this story could go, but it you have any ideas, let me know! And please review! Thanks
~Chloe Jo