The wars cease to bring the unity and peace that is promised so often, every battle infact. It is still fascinating how neither end of the spectrum doesn't give up and truly bring the promised union of our land. Maybe man is to greedy to see, or too engaged to notice how much devastation each battle causes. But I however think that loyalty is the one to blame for blindly leading men to their pre-dug graves. To fight for what you truly believe and to have a say in the future of your country creating history, these were the things I was idly stripped of from the beginning of my life just as my brothers were. It really is a depressing thought, to have your life planned even before you were named, just like a poor child growing up to be poor, just like a kings child growing up to be king himself. Maybe there is indeed a reason for a child to be born into a certain family, to change the fate of another beings life. It is surprising how a tiny thing can change the outcome of history, even a small thing such as not shooting an arrow at your opponent can change the outcome of the battle, of course depending on who it is your aiming at; if it were a fool he'd go and die either way.
Whether a fool or not it is still affordable to shoot, everyman will die someday so it won't make a difference if you shorten one's life span by a bit, if you did not shoot then he could shoot one of your comrades. Everything has its time, even the stars which shine so infinitively will once decompose into nothingness. But before that I have a life to fulfill, and hopefully I'll be one of those who will make a change, if it be in a fools life or to the outcome of the whole war. With that final thought I jump of the porch which I was sitting on for a minimum of two hours pondering about the meaning of life which I do so often in the dead of night- since that is the only time of day that I have truly to myself, apart from the times which I have to go to the restroom. The courtyard was deserted apart from a couple of maids forking hard past lights out hours, it is easy to creep back indoors when it is this late. The corridors are still lit by oil lamps at this time, the smell of burning wood and a fresh scent of grass fuses together in the corridors creating a rather enjoyable smell, that is until I reach my room which is heavy in fabric and sweet flower perfume that make it hard to breath.
There is only one window but two doors; one leading to the main corridor and one leading to a training ground where my brothers train hard every day to become a samurai that is worthy Nobunaga Oda. My family have been in close relations to the Oda clan for centuries, and are planning to do so for as long as possible. Soon I am to make myself useful in his forces, to become a advisor, page, poet, medic or even a wife to anyone who needs one at the command of Nobunaga. As Lady Kiyo Kogo Chiyo Hime Lien Hanazawa I'm as worthy for the job as anyone else. My name is rather long, I took on the names of other very important women from my ancestors as well as the Oda Family. With such a heavy name, I also have heavy clothing to drag around with me. The fabrics I wear stack around in corners of my room, most of them are a gift from Nobunaga himself as a way of saying thank you. Really I can't complain, the clothing I get is of the highest quality but that also puts more pressure on me to not ruin it- hence why I usually wear my plain light white cotton kimono which I got as a gift from my grandma many years ago and miraculously still fits me. It got so battered that I'm not afraid to wear it anymore, but I still have to wear the luxurious clothing during the time when I'm in the public eye (even if it is the maids who help me get dressed in the mornings) because I look like a commoner in this garment. My favorite piece of furniture is the tatami mat which lays in the middle of the cramped room. The place where I can snuggle in and leave the worries out of to have a rest and prepare for the following morning which is the hardest part of the day: to get out of my favorite piece of furniture.
Thick beams of morning sunlight welcomed themselves through the only window I have and shot right into my half awake eyes. A commotion stirred in the courtyard, so loud I could hear it in my room. This is unusual, no one is awake at sunrise except for the few maids we have and I'm curtain that they're not the ones arguing. I slowly pushed myself up into a sitting position just in time to see one f my doors slide open. "Lady Kiyo, I'm sorry to wake you up so early but you are needed urgently in the dinning hall. Please allow me to help you dress." the distressed maid said in a out of breath voice. I nodded and ushered her in telling her to close the door behind herself. She silently pulled out one of my personally most disliked attires. It indeed was beautiful but as heavy as can be. "I'm not sure why you are being summoned so early but it's really important, you can hear the ruckus they are making from here can't you?" the maid said as she began tying the obiage, I nodded in response once again. My throat was too dry and I was to tired for this as well. She made a nimble job of preparing me and hurried me outside.
An unpleasant cold morning air made me wince as I made my way to the dinning hall where I could hear my Mum and Dad along with my three brothers talking between each other. After sighing I politely entered the room. On the tables there was only cups of fresh steaming tea which never looked more attractive to me than now, but before I can even have as much as a sip of it I have got to ask what is so urgent at this hour, and I do exactly that. Nagatsugu, my eldest brother, stood up and beamed at me along with the others including the samurai who trained on these grounds. Without knowing what's going on I just stared back and took a seat at a table which was closest to me. "Apologies for making you wait, now would you mind please explaining what this is about?" I directed my speech to the table as I gazed longingly at the cup of tea which gazed back at me. Awaiting a response I glanced up at my parents who cleared their throats, my dad pulled out a letter and placed it in front of him.
Clearing his throat, he re-opened the paper. "Kiyo Kogo Chiyo Hime Lien Hanazawa, you have grew up to become a beautiful, talented, intelligent woman; you make us all so very proud." he began enabling me to take a ungraceful gulp of the steaming tea in front of me, Erharuyi sat down clumsily and slumped his broad shoulders. "Not only have your characteristics been noticed by us, but by Lord Nobunaga himself. He has sent a letter to us directly asking for you to be of service to him. You bring honor to our family name..." he babbled on, but I really was not listening. That letter contains where and what I'll be used for. My heart lurched at the thought. Nobunaga is unpredictable, really is a man of great achievements but his reputation precedes him. 'The devils hand' is there because of a reason, most probably one to be feared of.
I looked up at my family and the rest of the onlookers. "I'm greatly honored by Lord Nobunaga's request. Please allow me to read the words he wrote," my fathers muscly hand passed me the piece of parchment and I took it into my shaky hands. Carefully, I unfolded it to see the neat swishy handwriting printed in thick black ink. Before beginning to read it I inhaled and held my breath. "Dear Hanazawa, the last battle we thought caused us much damage even though we succeeded in the assault, many thanks to your well trained soldiers. It may be too much to ask of you but as well as offering me your soldiers we would greatly benefit from having the presence of your daughter, Kiyo. She would be a great asset to the castle with her many skills. I hope you consider my invitation and send her to Owari as soon as possible. Signed Nobunaga Oda." This request certainly does not sound appealing in any way, I dropped the paper to the table and took another gulp of tea. Please say there is there a way torefuse the proposal, but there is simply none unless I run away when I am traveling there. My parents are practically absorbed into Nobunaga and his men like i'm absorbed into my bed in the morning. I peered into my cup which reflected my petulant face.
There is not a single memory pleasant memory which has anything to do with the Oda's. Since I was little my parents brang me along to their visits. The first time I went Nobunaga's father, Nobuhide, told his retainers to attack thinking that I was an intruder, I still have scars from that day. Never have I been so beat up in my life than when I refused to go on another visit with them, I really did regret being born that day. I used to cry each time I even heard their names until quiet recently when I figured out it'll be like this my whole life, but now I fear that there will be twice more traumas added to the very long list. The most recent visit was in spring, so around three weeks ago, ofcourse it wasn't pleasant at all but luckily one of his men and my brother, Hidetaka, saved me from his cruel entertainment. It was while the food was being served that I decided to go for a stroll in the gardens but I got followed by none other than Nobunaga himself, barely a second later I was being prodded with a stick and being shouted orders to get up a tree by him. I was nearing a thin branch which would have snapped when one of his men came to save me. I let go of the tree and the man caught me in his arms before I hit the ground. Hidetaka came running after acting worried as if he cared about me.
Growing up in the Hanazawa house is like growing up amongst vegetables, I am certain none of us have any human emotions, that is except for myself and my younger brother Katsunaga. The eldest one of us is Nagatsugu; although he is the oldest he is most certainly not the most responsible one out of us, all he ever cares and cared about is fighting and killing and getting the victory he desires so deeply. He is practically a killing machine that no one ever turns on until there is a blood bath getting stirred, he is vicious but there is definitely a human soul hidden somewhere in that poor little shallow heart of his. Hidetaka is going to be our fathers successor, it would usually be the eldest sons job unless he is a maniac like in this case. There are many similarities between him and our father, both stubbornly obsessed with the Oda's and the country, but there is kindness within him, he did help me a lot when we were both younger and going through the tough training our parents battered us with for so many years. Then there is my younger one who is truly the one I feel related to, I was more of a mother to him at the age of six than ours at the age of thirty. It might be that my mindset rubbed of onto him from all the hours we spent together having deep conversations and bonding while sneaking out in the middle of the night to get food together. I was raised up to be like my brothers but I managed to escape that depressing fate, as a younger girl I was really fascinated in the concept of love which I heard stories about from the maids who dressed me, in a way they were the ones who dragged me into feeling and understanding emotions, Katsunaga didn't have that luxury and I understood what he could be, so I took it into my own hands to raise him as a human being. Mother never speaks, the only time I've ever hear her is when she apologizes and thanks anyone, Nagatsugu sais she is always been like this, since he can remember she only sat and did what was needed. In her spare time she just sits in her room, not making a sound. She has an eerie presence around herself that makes me feel like she is not alive nor has he own will.
Fathers fist slammed on the table making me tear back into reality. "And therefore you will leave this afternoon once you are finished packing! The maids will help you with that once they finish preparing breakfast." My heart skips a beat and my eyes popped out of my skull at the news. He has got to be joking, but on second thought, he probably does not even know what the purpose of one is. "Only take the highest quality fabrics, like the ones you received from Lord Nobunaga and do not take the cotton one, you look like an absolute peasant in it.." The breakfast was supplied and I chomped it down without an appetite, this is probably the last meal I have before I will have to eat grass and stinging nettles in the wild. Once I finished eating, I excused myself in the most groggy manor I could master and ran back into my room. I felt numb all over, my fingertips were cold, shaking. Everyone in that castle was ruthless, they would slaughter a baby for crying. Just the thought of myself being amongst that kind of men sends a shiver down my spine making me hug myself tightly.
It is not like I have not been expecting this though, but this letter definitely makes the fate of my life solid.