Costumes and Lunch

by Fallen Ark Angel

Mira needs to decide on a Halloween costume. Why that for some reason involves discussions ranging from filthy tapes, Freed's orientation, how much of a big brother Laxus is to Lisanna, and Bickslow's frequent character switches, no one's quite sure, but are all too involved at this point to get out. - One-shot.

"Why do we have to come to this again?"

"Because," Elfman grumbled as he and Evergreen walked along. "Big sis asked us to help her decide on a costume for the Halloween party and, damn it, if asking for help isn't manly!"

Evergreen, clicking her tongue just a bit, unfurled her tiny hand fan before waving it in front of herself and saying, "I wasn't clear enough. Why do I have to go to this?"

"Mira wants opinions! And you're a person! So why wouldn't you come give her one?"

"Ranging from the fact I don't like your sister-"

"What? You two love one another!"

"-to the fact that I really had no intention of going over to the Strauss house-"

"Why wouldn't you wanna go there? I love it there." Elfman glared down at her then. "Are you just not man enough to appreciate it in all of its glory?"

"Oh, shut up, Elfman." Huffing a bit, she fanned herself harder before saying, "You come get me from the dormitory-"

"Like a good man."

"-say we're going to go on a date-"

"Like a great man."

"-and then, after I'm already walking with you, reveal that it's to go see your damn sister get all dressed up in stupid costumes."

"Like a manly man!"

"This is idiotic."

"You don't have to come," he told her in just as snippy a tone. "I was only being kind."

"Kind? How is it kind to make me go watch your stupid sister-"

"Watch it, woman."

"Test me, man."

And they both stopped, there in the middle of the sidewalk, to glare at one another, both sets of eyes dark. Ever reached up, to toy with her glasses, as if to taunt him, sunlight gleaming off the lenses while Elfman only tensed up.

Letting out a jagged breath, he turned from her before saying, "Mirajane's gonna make us food, if we go."

"So? Why do I-"

"And Laxus spent the night last night, so-"

"Wait, what?" Suddenly, her hand was away from the frame of her glasses and moving to fan herself faster. "Did you say Laxus?"

"Yeah." Rolling his shoulders, Elfman said, "He got in last night and, of course, came to that house that you hate so much. The Strauss house. Since, you know, he's dating one? And is actually a man about it? Unlike you?"

"If you want a man, Elfman, that's between you and your orientation."

"Wh- Hey! And where are you going?"

"Isn't obvious?" called Ever over her shoulder as she rushed right off. "To Laxus!"

Of course.

When they arrived at the Strauss household, it was to find it very busy for eleven in the morning. Usually everyone was either out of the house by then or Lisanna was sleeping off her bad decisions (Bickslow was the biggest one) in bed and alone in the house otherwise. Mirajane left for work before dawn typically and Elfman was always off training.

It wasn't a normal day, however.

Rather, it was the all important off day that Mirajane was awarded (forced to take by Makarov) once a month.

It was kind of a big deal.

She was spending that day in the most relaxing way possible; cooking.

Mirajane was spending her off day cooking.

The exact thing she did up at the hall.

If Evergreen wasn't so blinded by the sight of Laxus sitting at the kitchen table in only a pair of gym shorts, she might have taken Mira to the side and explained just what an off day was.

But he was there and honestly, she didn't care what the psycho did on her days off. Rather, her concern fell to the fact that, though Elfman had made it seem as if Mirajane was in dire need of opinions, she already had some of the most opinionated people also seated at the kitchen table.

"Oy, Mira, you should add some parsley to that."

Lisanna, from the lap of her boyfriend, giggled, "What is parsley, Bicks?"

"Heck if I know." Bickslow stuck his tongue out. "But I bet she should add some to that pot there."

"Yes, well," Freed remarked from the third chair at the table. "You certainly know much about pot, don't you?"

"Elfman," Evergreen hissed as he came through the backdoor after her. It led, of course, right into the kitchen, where the scene was unfolding before her. "You didn't say that the...others would be here."

"Didn't think I needed to," he remarked. "When aren't they?"

"I know quite a lot about pots, yeah." Bickslow about bit his tongue as he snickered. "You put stuff in them and then you set them over a stove. Or a fire. They typically metallic. You gotta wash 'em when you're done with them. Uh, what else?"

"Knock it off," came the grumble of Laxus as he didn't even glance up from the Sorcerer Weekly he had resting on the table in front of him. "Before I make you."

"Play nice, dragon," Mira called from over at the stove where she was doing something or other. "And good afternoon, Ever. I guess you're here for my costume-"

"Laxus," Elfman grumbled as he went to claim the last seat at the table. "She's here for Laxus."

"I'm here for food," Bickslow announced, using the arm that wasn't wrapped around Lisanna to push up his visor. "And Laxus."

Elbowing him in the chest, his girlfriend sent the man a glare. "Bicks-"

"You too, of course, Lissy. That was just a given."

Freed, knowing his friends quite well, jumped up then, offering his seat to Evergreen. There was no way, after all, that she would be like Lisanna and 'save some space' with her boyfriend.

At all.

"There's some folding chairs in the backyard," Mirajane offered as she glanced over in time to see Ever snagging the man's eat. "Freed. They're leaning up against the house. Just grab one of those like usual."

Because what was going on was, in fact, quite usual.

For them.

As Freed disappeared out the backdoor, Bickslow took to grinning over at his female teammate.

"Afternoon, Ever," he said, nodding his head at her, to the giggles of the woman in his lap. Sticking his tongue out, the man flashed her his guild marking before saying, "So why'd you really come here? Just for Laxus? Or did Elfman promise you a good dicking down?"

Elfman choked while Ever's eyes only widened. Laxus, even, looked up from the magazine.

"A what?" That came from Mirajane, who turned around from the stove to stare at them. "A...dicking down?"

"Yep." Bickslow nodded, encouraged not by the others mixture of disgust and shock, but rather Lisanna's giggles. "Dicking down."

"Dicking down," his dolls sang. "Dicking down."

"You know, Mira," her sister went on, always one to feel more bold when she was around the seith. "What we all heard Laxus sneak into the house to give you last night."

"Can we please stop talking about these sorts of things," Elfman groaned as Ever had her chance to choke and Laxus, with a shrug, went back to his magazine.

He did give Mira a good dickin'. He gave Mira a good everything. A good tongin', good fingerin', good dragonin'.

Why feel embarrassed by it?

The complete silence they'd fallen into wasn't allowed to be gauche for long as, suddenly, they heard Freed exclaim from outside as well as the yelp of a dog.

"Freed!" Mira was rushing to the backdoor then, but it wasn't in concern out of the letter mage. "Don't you hurt my dog again! Laxus, he's going to hurt him again!"

Grunting, the slayer only flipped the page in the magazine. After his great 'dicking down' of Mirajane, the man had gotten in an equally as great snooze and awesome breakfast. Now, since Mira was off, she was going to cook lunch and dinner for him too.

And all he had to do in return was watch his extremely sexy girlfriend model some no doubt skimpy Halloween costumes for him?

Bring it on.

Dealing with Freed and the others, though, was not in the cards. At all.

He'd bribe Cana to come over and prove it if he had to.

…She could tell the future, couldn't she?

At the very least she could pretend.

Just as Mirajane was about to throw open the backdoor though, it opened at a much slower rate and a rather pissy Freed stood there, a metal folding chair in one hand, glaring at her.

"Where is my-"

"Your stupid stray mutt," the seith griped as she only craned her neck to see around him, "growled at me, bit me, and then ran off."

"But you didn't hurt him?"

"Did I hurt him? Did I-"

"Did you?"

Huffing, Freed finally pushed passed his idol's girlfriend, lugging that chair behind him. To the slayer, he said, "I administered much restraint, Laxus, for your benefit, I assure you."

Laxus, who didn't give a damn about the dog, but a great damn about continuing to, uh, dick down the demon (shit, Bickslow had just gifted Laxus his new favorite phrase), nodded but only continued to idly read through the magazine.

"You better not have scared him off." Mirajane, after peering out the door, finally shut it before turning to stare at the rune mage. Glancing him over, she said, "Are you seriously, hurt, Freed? I have bandages and gauze and antiseptic and-"

"Freed!" Bickslow was always a show off, but took it to another level in front of Lisanna. Which is why he said then, "You missed the most important conversation topic of the day."

Snorting (and slightly annoyed with the woman) Freed gave Mira a glance before saying, "I missed the costume changes? What are you going as, Mira? Disheveled?"

Tears would have started as well as Laxus and Elfman pummeling the man (although Laxus not as badly because he understood; that damn stray dog was annoying as fuck and Mira's sticking up for it was just as bad) had Bickslow, not even listening to Freed's comment (because if he had, he'd have definitely saved his joke for later and let the entertainment of the whole thing blowing up before it began engulf them all), not just kept talking.

"No," he said, not really caring for what the man said. "You missed us discussing how good I dick Lisanna."

Evergreen, still holding her breath a bit, waiting for the waterworks from Mirajane, the immediate realization of what he said and quick recovery from Freed, as well as the explosion from Laxus and Elfman, managed regardless to inform Bickslow, "You cannot make that a verb."

"I can make that a verb." Bickslow nodded his masked head. "It is a verb."

"Verb," the man's babies agreed as Lisanna, watching her sister's face for tears, held off on a giggle. "Dick verb!"

"You can say it is all you want," Evergreen went on. "But-"

"Anyways," Bickslow moved right along before the moment passed, "Elfman here's gonna dick Ever in a subpar way-"

"Are you mentally ill? Honestly?" Ever asked with a glare.

"He's no man! I know that much!" Elfman carped, banging a fist on the kitchen table and making it, and all that was on it, jump.

"-I dicked Lissy so great the other day that we don't even have to, like, dick again for at least a week-"

"But we probably will," Lisanna assured all the people that actually really didn't want to think about either of them in that situation literally ever. Laxus made a face, Elfman lost his anger and fell back in his chair in defeat, Ever and Mirajane both gagged, while Freed only blinked, still waiting on the punch line.

They weren't there yet.

"-boss, that sly dog," Bickslow went on, "he dicks Mirajane like the fucking god he is and damn, if that isn't something that deserves to be forever documented-"

"He's not," Laxus told them all as he forgot his annoyance over the whole thing and sat back, arms crossed over his chest, "wrong."

Mirajane, still stuck between disgust and tears, stared over at her boyfriend. "About which point?"

"All of them. Obviously. I dick you damn well, demon."

"Um-"

"I understand it now." Ever sat up as she forgot how annoyed she was at the seith and listened to her idol's word. "Yes. Dick. Definitely a verb."

"And," Laxus kept up while Lisanna made a gagging noise, not finding hearing about someone else's 'dicking' as great as her own, "we should definitely be documented. For future generations to study and admire."

"Are you...honestly asking my sister to make a porno with you? In front of us?" Lisanna asked. "Laxus? Or-"

"Well, obviously, I wouldn't want you to see it," he snorted. "And porn isn't even close to what it would be called. It would be art."

"I hate these things!" Elfman jumped up finally, finished it seemed. Before lunch was even ready. "It always ends up like this? You all get together and then you say things that I don't want to listen to! At all! Who talks about...sex so much? Arg! It's not manly!"

"It's actually very manly," Bickslow muttered to Lisanna who only shrugged. Mirajane, however, only made a face at her brother, washing away any thoughts of crying over Freed's rudeness and instead focus on the burly man's outburst.

"Elfman," she said with that tone. You know, the same one she'd used on him since he was a boy. Like when he accidentally shattered the backdoor window by slamming it too hard. Or when he broke that kitchen table by slamming his hands into it in frustration. Or that time he broke...well, just everything.

And at the moment, he was breaking up their family moment.

Albeit, it was an awkward one, filled with topics she didn't envision for the afternoon, but a family moment nonetheless.

"Sit down," she said. "You're acting like a big...baby."

"I'm not a baby!"

"You are so. And are babies manly?"

"They could be."

"Elf-"

"I think you guys are missing the point here," Lisanna said, shifting in the slightly peeved Bickslow's lap (his punchline was still coming and, honestly, the only person that was waiting on it was Freed; mostly because he knew by process of elimination it would involve himself). "Laxus not only wants to make a porno with Mirajane-"

"A masterful work of art, you twerp," the slayer grumbled. "The likes of which no one else has ever seen."

"-but he also wants to keep it from me," she went on as, defeated once more, Elfman slowly sat back down. He had nowhere else to go, honestly; since its inception, their little clique was kind of the only one that would accept him for extended periods of times. "Why's that, Laxus? Huh?"

"Try because she's your damn sister," the slayer grumbled with a glare. "The fuck wants to watch their sister have sex?"

"Or talk about it?" Elfman carped right along.

Shaking her head, Lisanna said, "Nope, it's because you totally think of me as, like, your younger sister and want to protect me from the depravities of the Thunder God and Satan's Soul."

Any other time, both Mirajane and Laxus would question just what 'depraved' things it was that they all thought they were doing, but at the moment, each had their own little hangups to be concerned with.

"I do not think of you as my-"

"Awe! That's so cute! Lax, you should have said that you thought that way!" Mirajane even bounced and, though he was still waiting on Bickslow's punchline, Freed was able to relax a bit, knowing his transgression against the woman was long forgotten. "That is so cute! You're so cute, dragon."

"I am not. And I don't think that way. I- Mirajane, cut it out."

But she'd rushed over to him then, to toss her arms around the man's broad shoulders, pressing kisses to his cheek. Lucky him, she was, as Freed had put it, disheveled, and hadn't gotten a chance to put on some lipstick yet, else his cheek would have been covered with it.

Oh, off days.

"Yes, please do," Ever remarked before, softly, into her fan she added, "less you start making that tape right here and now."

"Not you too," Elfman complained to which she only shrugged.

Bickslow, however, had had enough. He was gonna get his joke out, damn it, while it was still semi-relevant.

"As I was saying," the seith announced loudly, stopping them all as they were, "boss dicks Mirajane real good. Like, well, the boss. The god. Raijin!"

Bickslow's eyes gleamed behind the bars of his visor as he saw his idol sit up taller, in Mira's grasp, as if enjoying the praise...of an act that Bickslow had never seen...or even come close to experiencing from the man...but hopefully, eventually, would have the artwork on a movie lacrima to truly be struck in its awe inspiring greatness.

Yeah, Laxus was pretty high on himself that day.

"So," Bickslow said finally as the others all sat there, waiting, Freed and Ever wanting mostly to just get it over with, Elfman hoping they got off the topic of 'dicking' real soon, Lisanna in tense anticipation because her boyfriend was just, like, seriously the funniest person ever, and Mirajane and Laxus kind of lost in themselves then as the slayer's eyes glazed over in that way they only did when he was thinking about himself and the demon mostly just kept peppering his cheeks with kisses because she loved how much her dragon 'supposedly' loved their mismatched family. "The question then, Freed is this; who's the last person that you dicked good?"

Silence. Because that...wasn't funny. Even to Lisanna.

But only because there was more.

"Or should I say," the seith finished to the crickets he was getting from his (un)captivated audience, "who's the last person that dicked you good? Ha!"

Lisanna laughed, from the start of his sentence and didn't quite hear what it was. Just was supporting her man. The others, however, took it very differently.

Evergreen glared, Freed looked off in annoyance, Laxus finally keyed in on something other than how masterful he was at dicking Mirajane, while his demon let out a long sigh.

Elfman, however, spoke.

"That's it?" he asked. "That's your line? It's supposed to be funny?"

"No," Laxus grumbled as Bickslow bit his tongue to quell his snickers and Lisanna began to register what the man said, ceasing her laughter. "It was supposed to be offensive and shocking."

"That is comedy, boss. Guys." Bickslow grumbled this, not finding their lack of reaction entertaining. "It's gonna be my new thing. Lissy and I discussed it."

"We never discussed you insulting Freed," his girlfriend pointed out.

"In a roundabout way," he insisted. "You said that this dark and creepy stuff isn't working out anymore. I should go the other route! Rude! Offensive! Crude! Get highly sexual and highly anti-anything and everything!"

"Why...would that ever be a good idea?" Mirajane asked slowly. "I mean, ever?"

"It's a new character choice," Lisanna explained, sitting up straight then, as they were speaking on an idea she'd been spearheading. "A stylistic change in the middle of the game. A whole new Bickslow!"

"Go from a hard right to a hard left. Quick turn!" Bickslow stuck his tongue out again, feeling confident once more, regardless of the fact that the others were still giving him rather blank stares. "Will shock everyone!"

"Will you stop wearing your stupid getup?" Evergreen asked. "I mean, if you change out of that drab garb that you usually wear, I might support this."

Lisanna snorted as Bickslow only glared.

"I think you look great, Bicks."

"So do I, Lissy." Still with his tongue waving, he said, "And besides; Ever says rude stuff all the time."

Making a face, the woman repsonded, "I don't make jokes about Freed's sexuality."

"Why's he so embarrassed about getting dicked real good? Huh? I think it's way more offensive to find it offensive than it is to say something offensive."

Lisanna glanced over her shoulder at her boyfriend. "I have no idea what you just said, but it sounded like a really hard hitting argument."

"I assure you," Ever replied, "it was not."

"I am so glad," Freed finally spoke up, "that we've all decided that what he said was even true."

"Ooh, man, Freed." Bickslow whistled. "It wasn't a good dicking?"

"I think he's implying that he's still the one doing the, uh, dicking," Lisanna giggled into her hand as Freed took to glaring at her then. "Like a top or whatever."

"Yah!" For some reason, that energized Elfman. "All real men are!"

Laxus, still watching over them all, furrowed his brow before tilting his head back to stare up at his demon. "Mirajane, why do they have to all be here?"

"Because, dragon, they're gonna help me decide on my costume."

"Can we get to that then? Please? I really don't want to hear about all their sexual histories." Then, ghosting his lips with a small grin, the slayer said, "I do, however, want to talk about recording ours for future generations-"

"Ew, are you saying you want our children to watch our-"

"No!" He made a face. "And what children?"

"The five we're gonna have."

"Come again?"

"Only on the video lacrima, right?"

"No, yeah, I get it now, Elf," Lisanna spoke then, making a face over at her sister and Laxus. "This is totally sickening."

"This is art, you moron," Laxus growled. "Or at least it will be when- Mira."

She only removed her arms from around his neck then as she stood up straight. "I have to finish cooking. It's the only way we can get started on the costumes."

"Yes, please," Ever insisted. "Move on."

"I still, for one," Freed spoke over the others, "would like to know where you all get off assuming to begin with that I cannot be interested in women."

It was a good way to get enough silence for Mira to slip away back to the stove anyways.

"Wait." Elfman frowned, glancing around. "Was that the joke? That Freed's gay?"

"That's what made it offensive," Lisanna explained as Ever only rolled her eyes. "Because...wait, what was the joke?"

"Not offensive. You guys are just pansies," Bickslow retorted.

"I thought you wanted to be offensive?" Evergreen asked. "Bickslow?"

"Well… It was just supposed to be shocking!"

"Stop yelling," Laxus finally said, speaking to someone other than his demon because it was needed. They'd all been so loud for the duration of the afternoon and it was starting to piss him off. "And why is it shocking?"

"Actually yeah, Bicks, I agree."

"Lissy, no."

Nodding, she said, "We all know that Freed's gay. Other than Elfman, apparently."

"I'd really appreciate it if you all stopped making assumptions off my life based on the very little that you ever care to learn about it," the rune mage remarked. "Please."

"Freed's not gay," Mira told them from the stove. "He's just sexually attracted to Laxus. And only Laxus. Jeez, guys, be mature."

Bickslow bit his tongue and Lisanna pressed her lips tightly together, as if she'd just tasted something sour.

Ever, however, was able to say, "I...don't think we'll all ever be mature enough, Mirajane, to say that one of our very close friends is attracted only to our significant other. Or is mentally ill more the term?"

"Mental illness is super offensive, Bicks," Lisanna finally got out, using that to take her mind off the fact that, apparently, Mira was not only alright with the fact, but so were Freed and Laxus, the former not denying it at all and the latter having gone back to his magazine. "Look into that."

"What's there to be mature about?" Laxus grumbled, so fully into his magazine once more that he didn't even look up. "I only fuck the demon. Freed knows that. He and Mira both like one another. A lot. I like having anyone around that worships me. Where is the conflict?"

Ever, not one to argue with her idol (not to mention the conversation was only increasingly becoming more awkward), looked off, but Lisanna had no innate fear of the man.

At all.

After all, he was her big brother.

"Yuck," she said loudly, sticking out her own tongue, getting Bickslow's still floating around babies to repeat the word. "Are you guys saying, like, you all sleep together or something? Because I need out of this group if so. Effective immediately."

"What?" came the exclaim of Elfman as he jumped up once more, making a face. Evergreen blushed, just from the thought, but only sat there silently as she considered all the implications.

"This is why I don't share my life. With any of you," Freed groaned as Bickslow snickered some more.

Mirajane, over at the stove, had frozen at the accusation, but relaxed some as she thought for a moment before saying, "You'll just have to watch the tape."

"All the hits today!" Bickslow remarked as Lisanna litearllly gagged and Laxus let out a long, loud sigh. "Mira's getting all the hits! You're on fire with these one liners. And to waste them on us. We're unworthy. We're-"

"No matter how much praise you shower on her," Evergreen mumbled softly, "you're not getting in on that."

Lisanna made a face at the other woman as Bickslow only snickered some more.

"Nah, I'll just take boss's word for it," he informed his female teammate as he wrapped his arms around Lisanna tighter. "Don't wanna impede on him and Freed, you know, tag teamin' the demon! Ha! I got hits too."

"You're about to get hit," Elfman growled as Lisanna, unable to decide if she should be disgusted or amused, pressed a hand to her mouth in an attempt to stifle a giggle. "You stupid little-"

"Be more open, Elf," Evergreen remarked.

"I'm plenty open! But you can't expect me to be okay with...with..."

"Something that's not going on?" Freed asked.

"Even the idea of that thing!" Elfman retorted.

Laxus only turned another page in the magazine before, clearly not finding any of the conversation entertaining, saying loudly, "Demon, I have read all over this damn thing and cannot find a single time that I'm mentioned."

"You're in there."

"Tell me where! What article? What is it about? You have to tell me!"

"Just keep looking."

"But-"

"They," Bickslow whispered to his girlfriend, "are clearly trying to misdirect the conversation to throw us all off the trail of your fine deduction, Lissy."

"Clearly."

"Hardly," Mirajane said, glancing over her shoulder again. "If Laxus and I were going to bring someone else into our happy relationship, believe me, we'd all have an open discussion about it."

"No," Laxus grumbled to her as, once more, he flipped the page. "We wouldn't."

"Well, I'd definitely gossip with Lisanna about it. And she tells Bickslow everything. And I'd talk with Freed about it. And he tells Ever everything. And somewhere in all that, it would make it back to Elfman, so yes, dragon, we would."

"Why do we all hang out together?" Elfman was walking off then, out of the kitchen. "Why?"

"Because we all love one another," Mirajane replied.

"A bit too much for three of us, eh, Lissy?" Bickslow whispered in his girlfriend's ear, to which he got a giggle and an elbow to his chest.

"Call me for lunch," was the muscular man's final reply over his shoulder as he disappeared into another part of the house.

"You know," Evergreen said slowly, glancing over at Freed then, dragging her eyes up and down him, as if assessing the man, "now that I think about it, the three of you are awfully close."

"I'm awfully close to a lot of people," Mira said, as if proud of that statement.

Snorting, Laxus said, "And I ain't close to no one, but the demon. Don't be fooled; if she hadn't made me, I wouldn't have allowed any of you to come over today."

"I live here," Lisanna reminded.

"I don't care."

"The sudden fascination you have all taken in my life is quite peculiar," Freed said with a frown. "Considering no one, but Mirajane was able to attend that party I had the other night."

"You invited all of your uppity, non-guild friends," Ever said with a roll her eyes. "You know I can't bring Elfman around those people."

"And I think you specifically asked me and Bicks not to come," Lisanna said.

"No," Freed replied. "I said not to come if you couldn't dress right and have a night that didn't involve getting sloppy drunk and spilling alcohol all over my floors."

"Which basically is not inviting us, bro," the seith told him to which his babies repeated the final word.

"And dragon was out of town on his job," Mirajane said with a nod. "But I had tons of fun."

"Oh, I bet you did," Evergreen said as she got to her feet. It was just to get a glass of water though, not to go after her boyfriend.

Because, honestly, the last thing that she wanted to do was go after her boyfriend.

Mira, not catching on, only nodded. "I did. It was really great. There was-"

"Demon, she's implying that you and Freed probably slept together during it," Laxus remarked. "Or something. And she better fucking stop picking on my woman before she gets her ass kicked outta here."

"W-Well," Ever tried, but Mirajane was talking then.

"We're still on that joke?" The barmaid made a face down at the pot she was stirring. "Honest, guys, Laxus isn't very good at sharing."

"At all," the man grumbled.

And that was final.

Until Lisanna spoke up.

Again.

She was killer that day.

Honestly, Bickslow was kind of impressed.

And turned on.

But he was rarely turned off by the youngest Strauss.

"I'm sorry, but Mira said that Freed's attracted to you, Laxus," Lisanna pointed out slowly, as if dumbly. "So...if it was the three of you, wouldn't the question be on if Mira was wiling to share you?"

"We are really going to have a full on discussion over this, aren't we?" Freed groaned. "You're just going to keep dragging it out until we do, aren't you?"

"What's there to drag out?" Laxus looked up and that time, he very pointedly gave Lisanna the deadliest glare in his arsenal. "Me, you, and Mirajane, Freed, are very mature and know that this is all just bullshit to pass the time. Ever, Bickslow, and Lisanna are very immature and think that sex is funny. That the idea of people partaking in sex is funny. Hell, they probably still find toilet humor hilarious."

"Don't lump me in with them," Evergreen complained as she returned to the table. "I didn't do anything."

"And hey, if a toilet could tell jokes," Bickslow added, "I bet you'd all find it entertaining."

"That's not… But if it was, you'd totally be right," Lisanna offered up with a grin.

"Sex with you guys is immature," Laxus went on. "You and Bickslow. You two are a cartoon. Nothing more. And Ever's with Elfman is laughable for all the wrong reasons. Me and the demon? When I dick her good-"

"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot about that word," Mira mused from the stove. "That's how this all started."

"-it's fucking art," Laxus informed them. "Literally. It's the art of fucking and it's art that shows fucking and it's just fucking art in general. Every damn time. So no, of course I don't expect for you morons to understand. How could you?" Then, glancing at Freed, he said, "And for the record, I don't know what the hell he does. At all. Top, bottom, or in-between."

"Ew, how does that work?" Lisanna asked.

"Think about it for a moment," her boyfriend snickered.

"But I know that we're not going to talk about it anymore," Laxus went on, "if he doesn't want us to. You morons. If someone doesn't want to talk about something like that, you fucking don't."

"I didn't want to talk about you and Mirajane making a sex tape," Lisanna pointed out. "But here we are."

"You perpetuated it!"

"Right, Laxus, let's pretend like both you and me know what that means. Sure."

The slayer took in such a deep breath then that even Mirajane, over at the stove, held her breath, expecting an explosion.

Slowly though, he let it out before softly saying, "Enough about Freed. If we have to gang up on anyone, why not Elfboy? He's a freak in every single way."

"He is not wrong," Bickslow told them all. "I mean, did you guys see that shirt he was wearing! Laugh a minute, man!"

"The only reason I didn't make him change," Ever replied, "was because we were just coming here. But honestly, who dresses him?"

"You should be, you know," Lisanna said. "You're in charge of him now."

"How do you get to that conclusion?"

As they delved into that, Freed only breathed a soft, "Thank you," to his idol to which Laxus grunted.

"Didn't do it for you. No one gets to make my demon sound like a whore." Page flip. "Except me. When I make this tape. This masterpiece. I need you to get me a high quality recording lacrima, Freed. And a bunch of, you know, porn tapes. So that I can look at good angles and such. High class stuff. Artsy stuff."

Blushing a bit, the man shifted in his seat before saying, "I really don't think, Laxus, that Mirajane was serious about-"

"Don't question me."

Never would dream of it.

It took another thirty minutes before it was time to eat. And, once it was, Mirajane led them all into the living room, with their plates in hand, to watch her model costumes for them.

"You know," Bickslow said as they all fell into their usual seats, "Lissy and I already got our costumes picked out."

"You mean you're not going like a dork?" Ever asked. "I understand; you're already it every day."

"Your immaturity's showing," Bickslow replied, tongue stuck out. "Idiot."

"Oh, so is yours."

Their seats had never changed since the first time that Mirajane made them all gather together, in her living room, nearly two years ago. Back when Ever and Elfman were still pretending not to date, Mira and Laxus were mostly just hot and heavy every second of every day, and Bickslow and Lisanna were just really good friends.

Which is why Laxus took up his place in the recliner, where Mira more than once at their gatherings would snuggle up and none too slyly have a bit more physical contact than necessary, but alone for the moment, as she was clearly busy. Only for the moment, of course, because as soon as she had it all picked out, he'd be dragging her right down into his lap.

Lisanna and Bickslow sat on the loveseat, on the other side of the room, where they used to to laugh and chuckle with one another as they'd mostly make soft spoken jabs at her siblings and his friends who were so disgustingly in love it made them debate the amount of grossness constantly. Those days were long gone, of course, then, as they were just as disgustingly in love as the others, perhaps a bit more on the disgusting portion, and Lisanna sat practically in his lap always.

Elfman and Ever though, whether it be current time or back a few years ago when the Thunder Strauss Tribe was just something that Mira let circulate in her silly little mind and hadn't become cemented as the family within the already tight one that Fairy Tail was, showed the grossness of their love in a very different way; by sheer hatred. So, that first day they'd all been together, who else, but poor Freed would get shoved into the center of the couch, separating the two of them as if he were a buffer. Even that chilly October day, he found himself in the same position.

Which, honestly, after that horrid kitchen experience, he was somewhat indifferent to.

The day couldn't get any worse, after all.

"Okay," Mira sang as Bickslow and Ever resorted to just giving one another the stink eye. "I have four that I'm pretty confident I might wanna be, alright? You guys can vote or just give me feedback. I don't really care. I just like playing dress up!"

Laxus nodded. "Remember that for the tape, huh?"

"Gross," Bickslow mumbled in Lisanna's ear.

"Grosser," she replied.

Before, together, they could finish though, Elfman carped, "Grossest. We get it. You guys do that constantly. It's not cute; it's annoying."

Bickslow only blinked, having taken off his visor, before saying, "I will legit never do that again. He's ruined it. He's tainted it."

"Thanks a lot, Elf," Lisanna huffed. "You ruin everything."

"Shuddup," Laxus told them all, settling into his chair. "Let me watch my demon."

"Yes, Mirajane, let's begin." Ever poked disappointingly at her food, wishing to get the entire thing over with. "The sooner we begin, the sooner it ends."

Mira's costumes were of little interest to anyone other than Laxus, it seemed, who thought they were all hot.

Mainly because they consisted of very little material and lots of skin.

Laxus liked his demon the most as the nurse.

But that demon costume.

And oh! Damn! She had this this train conductor costume which, admittedly, didn't sound hot, but it was a like the shirt a conductor would wear, but cut with this tight ass skirt and that hat and just…

Needless to say, Laxus was going to be putting his new favorite vocabulary word to use that night.

Hehe.

Lisanna, however, was impressed by something else.

"You sure are using tons of magic, sis," she remarked once after Mirajane transformed into the next outfit. "I mean, I'm assuming that you're not getting these out of a reequip space, but rather just saw them and are now transforming into them? That takes up a lot of magic, doesn't it?"

"No more than she'd waste on one of her and Laxus' typical filming days, I'm sure," Ever muttered to Freed who, annoyed with her, refused to give her a glance. Laxus, however, heard this with his dragon hearing and sent the woman a cold stare.

It was enough to get Evergreen focused back into her food.

"Not really," Mira said , doing a little twirl to show off her kitty costume that Lisanna thought looked far too close to her own transformation. It was black, of course, being Halloween, instead of Lisanna's white, but she was definitely considering some copyright infringement. But fair usage and all…. Clawing at the air, showing off the little paw-esque gloves she was wearing, Mira said, "I make a pretty fetching kitty, don't I? Get it?"

"Oh, I'm getting it all, demon," Laxus said around the rice in his mouth. "Every bit."

"Nasty," Lisanna whispered to Bickslow.

To which he replied, "Nastier."

"Nastiest," they finished together.

Then, with a grin, they both let out a breath.

There.

All better.

Laxus was so into everything...until Mirajane transformed into her favorite.

"So? What do you think?"

"I like it," Elfman said loudly, before anyone else could say anything. "In fact, I-"

"Why are you a pumpkin?" Laxus growled as his girlfriend stood there, literally, in a big orange pumpking outfit that litearlly was the least revealing thing in the damn world. "Mirajane? What is this? A joke? Toddlers wear this kind of shit. You-"

"Uh, Laxus, she's not a pumpkin." Lisanna bounced with a giggle. "She's a jack-o-lantern!"

That was true enough, he had to give her that On the front of the orange monstrosity were two yellow triangles and a jagged grin.

"Great. A jack-o-lantern. Well, I vote no." He even made a face. "Now, I was really feeling that sexy vampire number you were-"

"I wasn't really feeling any of these, personally." Bickslow shook his head. "Now me and Lissy's costumes-"

"What the hell are they?" Freed finally gave in. "Bickslow? Since you clearly want to tell us-"

"Well, if you must know," he said, sitting up taller, "Lissy's gonna wear something real revealing, right? Real alluring."

"No," Elfman and Laxus said at the same time, the latter adding, "she's fucking not."

Ignoring that, Bickslow said, "And when guys start to hit on her because, I mean, how could they not, she'll go, "Kiss my ass," right? And then I'll pop up and be dressed as a donkey! Ha! All the hit!"

"But I'm the one that you're all outing," Freed said with a roll of his eyes. "When he's hoping to trick men into kissing him."

Bickslow, undeterred, only said, "Super funny."

"Maybe you guys can just forgo that whole charade," Ever sighed, "and get one of those two people donkey costumes and just go as one big ass. Because, you know, you kind of are."

"I've always wondered about how those work, actually," Bickslow admitted. "If you're the butt, is your face just in the other persons, like, legit butt or-"

"Oh, the conversations we have in this house." Freed shook his head. "What a shame it would be if these ever came to an end."

"You're not going as a pumpkin, demon, is the point," Laxus said, bringing the conversation back to where it needed to be. "You're going as a train conductor. Or that little sex kitten thing. Or just don't go to this stupid thing at all and stay home with me."

"You're going, mister," she said as she transformed back into what she'd been wearing that day. "And I have to go; I'm the bartender on duty."

"Make Lisanna do it."

The youngest Strauss only made a face. "Ew, who works anymore? When you have a big brother bringing home the big jewels to take care of you?"

Elfman, finally, was on a topic he enjoyed. Laughing for the first time that entire day, he sat his plate in his lap before flexing, nearly hitting poor Freed in the head when he jerked his arm up.

"Ha, yeah you do, sis!" the muscular man remarked. "You have the toughest big brother around! The manliest man-"

"Elf, she's talk about Laxus, I think," Mira said with a slight frown as, done with her fashion show, she went to drop into the man in question's lap, him setting his plate on the little table beside the chair to accommodate this. "I mean-"

"Oh, no, I definitely was. Sorry, Elf." Lisanna gave him her best sad eyes. "But Laxus is the highest roller in this house, you know."

"Damn right I am." He didn't even care about the brother thing at the moment; if they were bragging him up, he'd be all their big brother.

In a way, honestly, he kind of was.

"Then why," Elfman carped, annoyed now that this had been revealed, "can't he buy his girlfriend some costumes that cover her damn stomach?"

"I didn't buy them, nimrod, or did you miss the part where Lisanna mentioned her transforming into them?"

"Be nice, dragon." Mirajane was turned in his lap, so that she could press kisses to his cheek again. Laxus only leaned back, kicking out the foot rest, so that Mira could lay more fully against him. They were the least bashful, after all, out of all of them. "Elf is your brother too."

Bleh.

Still, he had the demon right where he wanted her, a cold beer and food on the side table, and was getting to think about his future, erm, art he would be making with his woman.

Laxus was pretty set, honestly.

The others were easy to block out.

"If we're all casting votes, Mirajane," Freed spoke up then, "I too did not find one that I enjoyed."

"Well, other than someone dressing up as Laxus," Lisanna said mostly to Bickslow, but loud enough (and purposely so) that they all heard, "I don't see what he would like."

Freed, finally, turned to glare over at them and say simply, "Why are you bothering me today? Laxus told you to just bother Elfman like usual."

"Hey," the muscular man started to say. "Why-"

"Oh, shut up," the man's girlfriend said with a roll her eyes. "You know that's how things usually go."

"Maybe," Lisanna said with just as annoyed a glare as the one the rune mage was sending her way, "if someone had allowed us to go to their party-"

"I asked you to go!" Freed was getting a bit flustered. "But I told you that it was going to be a very nice dinner with some of my friends that are not perhaps used to your behaviors and to, please, behave. How was that asking too much?"

"Because you know we can't behave." Bickslow scoffed. "Not if we're together."

Nodding, Lisanna said, "We feed off one another. We're at our best when together."

"Worst," Ever said to which, honestly, everyone other than Lisanna and Bickslow nodded to.

"Better together," Bickslow's dolls sang, floating around the pair's head. "Better together."

"You either accept us as we are," Lisanna started.

"Or not at all," Bickslow finished.

"And choose," Laxus told them with a glare, annoyed that they were all still even there. He wanted some recliner sex and he wanted it then. Tilting his neck so that he could see them all he said, "If someone doesn't want you around, if you were really their friend, you'd take the hint and get the fuck out."

"No more cursing today, dragon." Mira pushed his head as the others, clearly not understanding the deeper meaning in Laxus' words, didn't respond to them in the slightest.

Sigh.

Mira surprised him when, suddenly, she bounced a bit in his lap as she said, "Ooh, but that is a good idea though."

"What is?" Freed asked. "Us all leaving?"

So they did realize what Laxus was implying. Or at least one of them.

Before he could question why, then, they weren't all marching out with their orders to leave them the eff alone, Mirajane said, "No. The other thing. About me dressing up as Laxus."

Making a face, Lisanna said, "No, Mira, I think you missed the joke."

"I didn't find the joke funny, but yes, I got it, Lisanna." To her slayer's dismay, Mirajane pushed up then, from his lap, and rushed off. "I'll be back."

"What's she doin'? Boss?" Bickslow asked with a frown.

"The fu- freak should I know?" Laxus glared after his girlfriend before, suddenly, something hit him. "Oh, no. Please, Mira, don't-"

"I know what she's doing," Lisanna said with a grin. "Obviously, Bicks, she's gonna go do just what Freed said."

"What? Dress up as… Oh. Oh, man. I'd only heard about you guys doing this," the man said with a bright grin. "Once. A long time ago. You still do it? Damn."

"Oh." Ever made a face. "She's gonna...dress up as you...Laxus. Oh, no. I can't. We won't be able to unsee this."

"You morons are the reason she's doing it," the slayer grumbled. "If you had all just agreed that she should be the conductor- Or no, better yet, if you had all just pretended to have plans today-"

"And miss out on a free meal?" Bickslow snorted. "Boss, do you know me at all?"

"Too well," he grumbled as his eyes slipped shut. "And that goes for all of you."

It didn't take Mirajane long to come out there in, of course, Laxus' fluffy coat, one of his purple shirts, and, obviously, some of his black pants, a belt wrapped tightly at her waist to keep them up. She had his headphones too, latched to her ears and, maybe, any other time, Laxus would have found this all cute, but at the moment he was annoyed and just, once more, wished the day would end.

"Wow! Mira! Spot on Laxus impersonation, if I do say so myself," Bickslow said with a nod as Lisanna only giggled.

Cigar dangling from her mouth, Mira said around it, "Well, I do get some pretty good looks at him, but thanks all the same."

"Don't you waste that cigar, woman," was all her dragon warned as he peeked an eye open. "You hear me?"

"I won't cut it."

"Better not."

"Sorry if I am misinformed," Freed said then as he glanced the woman over, "but Mirajane, you have the power to fully transform into Laxus. Why would you ever...do this?"

"Because, silly," she giggled, "if I transform into him, I've just become Laxus. Like this, it's me, but as Laxus. Understand?"

"I don't think anyone understands you, woman, no," Laxus answered. "But it's for the best."

"You look manlier as yourself, to me," Elfman grumbled, looking off. "But...I do enjoy the lack of skin showing."

Nodding, Lisanna said, "You should definitely go as Laxus, Mirajane. And you should talk like him too. In that weird way he says things."

"I don't say things weird, you idiot," Laxus grumbled. "You all say things weird."

"Lax, you can talk a bit like an old man sometimes," Mirajane said slowly.

"I do not."

"And you grunt, like, way too much," Lisanna added. "When you're annoyed."

"And boss is always annoyed."

"Shut up, Bickslow," Laxus growled. It was one thing, after all for the demon to rag on him and a complete other when Lisanna did it, but the rest of those morons were his subjects; they weren't allowed to do so.

Except Elfman.

He wasn't a subject.

He was just someone that Laxus was subjected to dealing with against his will.

"I think you grunt the appropriate amount, Laxus," Freed offered, just as Evergreen was taking a sip of her drink. Which wouldn't have been so bad, had Lisanna not came in with a quip of her own.

"Yeah, I bet you do like those grunts."

"Enough." And that came from Mirajane, standing before them, dressed as Laxus. It was quite odd, to say the least. Looking over at her sister and the chuckling Bickslow, she said simply, "What if Freed promises to invite you to his next party? No exceptions? Then will you guys chill?"

"I'm always chill," Bickslow informed her. "Dark, funny, or offensive; all of my incarnations are chill."

"Incarnations," Ever remarked. "You mean you changing however your stupid girlfriend asks you to?"

"Or however it fits the plot of whatever scheme they have cooked up," Elfman grumbled.

"But, Mirajane," the seith went on, ignoring the others, "if you're asking if an invite to the next ritzy gathering at Freed's place will get us to refocus our attacks on Elfman and Evergreen-"

"When did I get added in this?" the stone woman complained. But, honestly, she was more in than Elfman anyways.

Honestly.

"-then absolutely." Bickslow elbowed his girlfriend gently. "Hear that, Lissy? We're going to the next big gathering at Freed's place."

"I like it there, but that big stain on the carpet in the living room is a bit-"

"I got that cleaned," Freed spoke over the youngest Strauss. "And you two are the reason it was there."

"You were the one that kept plying us with wine," she retorted.

"I did not! No one else was even drinking that night! You just showed up with alcohol and-"

"Has everyone agreed that Mirajane should just be me for Halloween?" Laxus asked, finally, exasperated by them all. When the others didn't answer, because they were honestly so sidetracked by, well, the thousands of things all going on at once in that place, the slayer answered for them. "Great. Mira, be me. Now everyone get the eff out."

It didn't happen quite as fast as Laxus would have liked. They were all still eating, after all, but after about twenty more minutes of mindless conversation, he did get them out of there. Elfman was going training, Ever was not going to watch him train, as she put it, but might happen upon the same location while training herself, Lisanna had to go work because her big brother Laxus was annoyed with her, it seemed, that week and wasn't so nice with giving her jewels for dinner (he wasn't happy enough with her, honestly, and thought that Kinana deserved a break up at the hall anyhow) that night, which she then would get to spend at the guild with Bickslow, obviously, tagging along, and Freed, well, he was mostly concerned with getting out of the house without running into Mira's stupid pooch.

When it was finally just the demon and the dragon once more, Laxus was a bit dismayed to find them spend the start of that time together in the kitchen, but knew if Mirajane got the dishes done then, they'd have the rest of the night to themselves.

And considering his woman got him so hot, with those little costume changes, he figured they'd probably need the whole night.

"Mmmm," Mirajane giggled when, finally, they found themselves in her bedroom, with the door shut even though they were alone, and really with no plans of leaving again until he got hungry later.

Because he would get hungry later.

"What?" Laxus grinned in the way he only would when they were alone as he fell into the bed as well. "Demon?"

"Just thinkin'."

"About?"

"You, obviously."

"Obviously."

"And that piece of art that you wanna create."

"Babe, it's art whether we're recording or not." She was lying next to him and, turning to lean over her, Laxus stared down into her big blue eyes. Grinning, he said, "Are you serious about this though? As serious as I am?"

"How serious are you?"

"I asked you first."

"I don't think sex is ever anything be bashful about, no," Mirajane said with a shake of her head as he fell, once more, onto his back. "I mean, what is greater than that? You know?"

"It'll be so tasteful, too because, as you know, I have a high quality for such things."

"No, Laxus, I really don't know how you enjoy your porn. I really don't even know where to get those."

"Every place that sells regular movies for your lacrima sells 'em, Mirajane. Duh."

"Duh."

Turning his head to the side to stare at her, he said with a grin, "It'd really fuck 'em all up, if we really did it, wouldn't it?"

"Not if they already think that we're having threesomes. With people they know, no less."

"That was weird," he admitted. "And you weren't too much help during it all."

"I was helping Freed."

"How? By perpetuating-"

"Okay, I'm with Lisanna; do you really know what that word means?"

"I'm using it correctly, ain't I?"

"How would I ever know?"

His laugh was deep then as he said, "You never told me what that magazine said about me either."

"Oh, dragon, you were never in there."

"What? Mira-"

"I needed to give you something to do," she explained as she reached over to tickle at his chin gently. "Else you'd have fought with the others and caused problems."

"They caused their own problems!"

"But no one got hurt." Then she paused. "Other than maybe Elf's feelings...and Freed's...and mine too, a little bit, because it was mean how he commented on what I was wearing. Don't you think? I shouldn't have to get all dressed up just to cook them food. Should I?"

"Of course not, demon. They're all morons. Stupid, idiotic morons."

"And did anyone stay to do the dishes? No."

"We treat them too well."

"We really do." Leaving her hand against his chin, she drug her thumb up a bit to press against his bottom lip before, with a sly smile, asking, "So what costume was it that you liked? Dragon? The most?"

"Conductor. Definitely."

"Can you be my train?"

"Mmmm. Fuck yeah."

Giggling, she shifted again, so that it was her turn to be over him, settling over his waist quite easily. As she leaned down, she pressed her hands against his shoulders, grinning all the while.

"I'm actually kinda surprised at you," she breathed as his hands moved to push up his purple shirt she still was sporting. "Dragon."

"Oh yeah? 'bout what?"

"For someone who doesn't like to share," she said, repeating her claim to Lisanna earlier, "you sure seem fine with the idea of us, like, making a sex tape and passing it around for other people to see."

Laxus blinked. Then he frowned.

He'd been so enthralled with the idea of adoration for his excellent techniques between the sheets (or above them) that never once did it occur to him that Mirajane played a part in that other than, just like, looking hot or whatever.

People would be looking at her.

His demon.

People they knew, obviously, as those would be the scrubs that he'd be passing it out to. Or at least secretly circulating to from behind the scenes (no need to come off as a show off).

But...the idea of guys he knew...or just other guys in general...watching his demon...for some reason didn't make his chest swell with pride like hers clearly did over the idea of it happen to him (or lust; hers was more the erotica concept behind it), but rather Laxus felt himself overcome with...possessiveness.

"D-Demon, we're just kidding about this all, right?" His hands stilled beneath her shirt, his fingers cool against her flesh. "You know, just all a joke?"

"Oh, baby, are you feeling inadequate?"

"Excuse me?"

"Because if you are-"

"I've never been inadequate in any way on any day for any thing. Ever. You hear me?"

"I'm Mira, silly. Not Ever."

"Demon-"

"You say her name in here, when we're like this, and you'll get them thinking that she's in on things too. And that would be a bit odd, admittedly. Even for me." Mira's grin was wide. "She is kind of my brother's girlfriend, you know."

Laxus just stared though. "I just want to know if you're serious about...that. The recording-"

"If you are, sure." She even shrugged, as if he were asking something simple, like what flavor ice cream she wanted. "I'm actually a bit proud of you."

He felt sick. Damn it. She'd trapped him. She knew what that statement did to him.

Take out the trash?

Proud.

Clean up the bathroom after destroying it?

Proud.

Wipe his shoes off before coming into the house?

Proud.

It made him blush every time, when she'd say it. Even if her reasons were typically silly and childish.

And yes, ninety percent of them involved him cleaning up after himself.

So?

"You don't say?" he asked as they were shifted again, by Mirajane once more, her wrapping her arms around his neck and falling to the side, letting him roll atop her. She liked him there best, she said a lot, and he wasn't completely opposed to it either. "Demon?"

"I think it's very sexy and attractive that you don't act like some giggling teenage boy over something like it. That you're not...Bickslow or Elfman. That you're a man about things."

Shit, she had no idea how much of a teenage boy he really could be, when he wasn't playing it cool in front of the others. No idea.

"Yeah. A man," he repeated slowly. "So manly."

"Sex isn't something to be ashamed of or giggle about."

"Mmmm."

"And-"

"Mira, you know...I… I mean..."

"I know you're not really into it, dragon." She leaned up to nuzzle her cheek against his. "You big talker."

"Well, I mean, I'm definitely behind the concept of watching me and you on film, fucking, yeah, but sharing it-"

"How would it get you hot though? Just watching us? I mean-"

"Babe, you have no idea what even the thought of getting to be a third person and just watch me fuck the shit outta you does to me."

"Well, Freed, I think, was coming into play in that, but-"

"Don't ruin this. You've already ruined my dream of passing around how masterful I am at fucking-"

"What happened to no cursing?"

"-but don't ruin the actual thing."

Tightening an arm around his neck, she pulled him closer before saying, "Don't ruin the actual art?"

"Yeah," he breathed as her other hand slipped between the two of them to work on his gym shorts. "The art."

"The dicking down?"

And he laughed, into her ear as he whispered, "That's gonna be my new thing. Just so you know."

"And I'll be reprimanding you every time you use it in public. Just so you know."

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

---

Another month, another frivolous one-shot for no reason. I's gonna do a serious one-shot, but couldn't come up with a topic, so thought I'd do something stupid just to get something out there and then...somehow...this happened. This big monstrosity of basically just them all sitting around and annoying the hell out of them. You know, how most of their get-togethers go.