Ticking Clock
by Kadi
Rated K+
Disclaimer: It's not my sandbox, but I do love playing here!
A/N: After episode 3x17 Internal Affairs this will be completely obsolete, I'm sure. It's based on the promo that we saw for that episode. My mind couldn't wait, I needed to fill in the blanks of what comes after Sharon reads Det. Sanchez his rights. So this is just a glimpse, a ficlet really.
The metal of the handcuffs felt uncomfortably cool in her hands. She could feel the eyes of her team, unbelieving, and a couple of them even angry. Sharon specifically kept her gaze off of them as she finished mirandizing the detective in front of her. It was hard enough just seeing the disbelief and hurt in his gaze. How many times had she done this over the years? How many times and in how many ways was she here, in a place like this, standing in front of a fellow officer who may or may not have done something illegal, informing that officer of rights that they knew only too well.
The metal was like ice in her hands as the cuffs moved from one palm to the other. The clink of it seemed unusually loud. It was a familiar sound, and yet a chill settled right through her. That was new. Sharon wondered if she was too far removed now from the detachment that she used to wear so easily. It was like a blanket, favored and comfortable, and protecting her from the icy glares that were, even now, directed at her back. It shielded her from the hurt that she felt as she returned his gaze, her own steady. She was proud of herself, that her words only faltered a small bit as she delivered the warning.
"Do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you?"
Emotion, hot and pure was burning in his dark eyes. Julio's own gaze did not waver as he stared back at her. "Yes ma'am." He could not completely contain his own disbelief, and his voice shook with it as he replied. He wanted to keep talking, to finish explaining his side, and what he believed to have happened. The words seemed caught in his throat now, aching, burning to be freed. They wouldn't come. At his sides, his hands clenched into fists. The ache moved through him, hot and painful, and somewhat nauseating. It didn't seem real, and yet it was happening. He was staring at his Captain and she was looking back at him, maybe not completely emotionless, but near enough. He thought he saw something in her gaze, but it was only for a moment. Then the mask came down. An old mask. One that made him feel cold inside. He knew this one. Julio had seen it before. He thought that it was gone. He thought she belonged to them now.
He thought that they belonged to her.
Sharon said nothing. The handcuffs in her hand felt as though they were weighing her down. She blinked only once as she took a step forward. She continued to clasp the handcuffs in both hands as she moved around to stand behind him. She inhaled quietly and hoped that her hand felt as steady as she hoped that it was as her fingers wrapped around Julio's left wrist. Her touch was light, almost gentle as she drew his arm back behind his back. Practiced ease allowed her to slide the cuff around his wrist without looking. Sharon almost flinched as it clicked into place. She found a spot on his shoulder and stared at that as she drew his right arm back and secured it behind his back as well. She wanted to squeeze his arm, to show some sign of support, but she was prevented from doing so by the very difficult position that she had been placed in. Her chest ached, while her stomach churned.
Sharon drew her gaze away from the Detective's shoulder and sought out one of the uniformed officers assigned to their unit. "Sergeant Michaels." She spoke quietly, but decisively. "I would like for you and Officer Jacobs to escort Detective Sanchez to booking. When he has been processed you may return him to the interview room so that he can answer questions."
"Yes Captain." Michaels strode forward and took possession of the Detective. He caught the eye of the other uniformed officer and motioned him over. Together they flanked the handcuffed man and took him into custody.
She continued to watch Julio as he was led away. They all did. It was not until he was completely out of sight that she heard the first explosive sigh. "What the hell—"
Sharon held up a hand. She would not allow Lieutenant Provenza to finish that statement. They were out of sight, but not quite out of hearing range yet. Sharon counted, silently, the seconds it would take for them to reach the end of the hall and make the turn. She drew a thin breath as she did. She could still feel their stares. Sharon counted the forty-five seconds it should take for them to be well beyond the Murder Room and then she moved.
She turned, quickly and strode toward the desk, near the murder board, where the box of evidence collected at the crime scene rested. She quickly grabbed the bags that were laying around it and dropped them into the box. She slapped the box's lid into place and lifted it. Now her hands did shake a little. Adrenaline was fueling her. Her actions were at war with everything that she had been taught, with everything that she had once taught to those who worked under her. For the first time she let her gaze wander the room. It landed on Tao, looking shocked, and just a bit confused. Sharon walked toward him and shoved the box into his hands.
"I've just bought us about fifteen minutes, use it."
"Captain?" Tao's brows drew together in a confused frown. He looked down a the evidence box in his hands. His head tilted as he worked through the puzzle she was presenting him with. Fifteen minutes? Mike's head lifted quickly as realization dawned. He stared at her, wide-eyed, for just a second. "Yes Captain!" He practically skipped around her, almost smiling as he headed for the exit. "Buzz, come with me!"
Buzz still wore a confused, and somewhat hurt, expression. "But I need to set up the equipment for—"
"No you don't." Andy grabbed his shoulder and turned him. He gave him a little shove toward Tao. "Grab your camera and go with Mike." He kept walking and strode toward the murder board. Andy began removing magnets and pulling down photographs. "Sykes." He turned, a small stack of photos in his hand and held them out. "Take these to Morales, see if they're consistent with the newer wounds."
Amy frowned at him. She looked down at the photographs in her hand, those taken of Julio's hands and the wounds he received while striking their victim during the earlier altercation. She shook her head at the Lieutenant and turned where she stood to find the Captain. "But I thought we had to wait for the guys from Internal Affairs?"
"Any evidence that we have obtained will have to be handed over to Internal Affairs upon request," Sharon stated, as though reciting that particular regulation directly from the handbook. A handbook that she had helped formulate over the years. "A request which has not yet been submitted, Detective."
"If it ain't here," Flynn told her, "they can't ask for it."
The younger detective's mouth made a tiny 'o' as she finally understood what they were attempting to do. They were stalling the inevitable. "Right." Spurred by the new sense of urgency, Amy moved quickly. She grabbed her jacket and phone from her desk and moved swiftly toward the exit.
"Lieutenant Provenza." Sharon turned, slowly this time. She still didn't think that she was ready to face the anger or disbelief that was etched across his features, but it could not be helped. "Go and pick up the Detective's mother. We're going to need her accounting of what took place. We need more than the witness statement that you took at the scene."
He was staring at her. For once, Provenza felt as though he was speechless. He gestured with his hand, waving it at her, while his mouth opened. No sound was forthcoming. His head inclined and he tried again. "Are you telling me," he managed on the second attempt, speaking carefully, anger lacing every word, "that you put Julio in handcuffs and sent him to booking to stall for time?"
Her jaw clenched. Sharon exhaled quietly. "Detective Sanchez was going to be placed in handcuffs and sent to booking regardless. If I managed to reclaim a certain advantage in the process," she said evenly, "then so be it. I will be more than willing to discuss it with you, later. In the meantime, that advantage was limited and it is ticking away."
"Oh, we will discuss it." Provenza marched to his desk. He snatched his jacket off his chair and shrugged into it with jerky movements. "You'd better believe that we will discuss it."
"I look forward to it." Her chin lifted. Not since just after her transfer had he been this angry with her. Sharon had to hope that he would understand what she was attempting to do once he had a moment to calm down. He needed to separate himself from what was happening. Not that it was at all easy to do. She was finding enough difficulty in that herself.
It wasn't until after he was gone that Andy stepped in front of her. He stood directly in her path, blocking her escape and the sanctuary that she would find inside her office. He stared down at her, pensive for a moment, considering. Then his head tilted and his brows lifted. "What can I do?"
It was asked carefully, but there was an undercurrent of understanding there. Her gaze lifted. She hadn't really wanted to look at him, not while she was mirandizing Julio and placing him in custody. Sharon thought that might actually break her steely resolve, or more to the point, her lackluster attempt at detachment. "Find me another suspect." She walked around him and strode toward her office. "I need us to be able to tie someone else to this murder."
They didn't have enough time, and there was so much to do. That was ever present on Sharon's mind as she pushed into her office. She let the door close behind her, and reached, on instinct, to pull the blinds closed. She stepped further into the room, managing only to make it as far as the chairs in front of her desk. She braced herself against the back of the nearest and leaned forward. She drew a breath, forcing it past the ache in her chest. She expelled it quickly, and with it, forced all of the air out of her lungs, even as she pressed a hand to her middle, just below her breastbone.
This used to be much easier, she thought. She might have been troubled by the work that she did, but never to this extent. She never felt it quite so keenly.
No, that wasn't true. There was one such incident which sprang to mind. Another time when she allowed herself to become emotionally involved in the investigation of an officer. Another time when it was one of her own.
Ally Moore.
Sharon recalled the personal vow that she made to herself, following that case, that she would never let herself become so vested in her officers again. It was just impossible. It was not who she was.
Whatever they thought of her, she was not made of ice. Nor was she made of steel.
Her office door opened and Sharon's eyes closed. Her head bowed, she felt her hair slide forward to obscure her face. There was a hand at her waist, light, even a little tentative. His other hand circled her upper arm. She was drawn backward against a warm and solid chest. "I can't…"
"I know." He held her loosely and just close enough to offer support. Andy felt a tremor run through her and let his hand slide down her arm in a comforting caress. "Breathe."
She did, and with that breath, there was a low hum. "Did you see his eyes?" Sharon thought that maybe she could have taken almost anything but that. In that moment she would have liked, very much, to explain her reasoning. She simply could not, and they didn't have the time for that in any event.
"He'll understand." When his temper wasn't involved, Julio could be reasonable. He'd get it, Andy thought. When this was over and he was cleared, he would realize what she was doing for him… the compromise that she was making.
She tipped her back and allowed it to rest against his shoulder. "Really." Sharon didn't sound confused. Her gaze lifted. She stared at the buildings beyond the windows behind her desk without really seeing them. "Did you?" She was reminded of another incident, another case, and far less understanding from the man behind her.
"Not at the time." He spoke quietly. His hand stroked her arm again. "Later, after I knew you. It didn't make it better, but I got it. It wasn't the same situation, Sharon. You can't really compare it."
"Oh, I think I can." She sighed quietly. Her eyes closed. "I've been here before, exactly here, and it should be familiar, but it isn't."
"That's because it's not." Andy shrugged. "You're not really on that side anymore. There's not supposed to be a line, but there is. I know you hate hearing that. I know you never wanted to see it. Listen…" He took a half step back and turned her. His hands settled against her upper arms, while his thumbs stroked the curve of each shoulder. "The thing is, I can say, if my case had come to that… to being read my rights and put in cuffs, I wouldn't have wanted it to be you. I'd have rather had the Chief, or one of the guys. It makes a difference. Maybe not one that he can see right now, but when his head is back on straight and he's had a minute to realize what's going on, he'll feel the same way."
"I really hope that you're right." She smiled sadly before looking away. "He needs an attorney, but he may be too proud to ask for one. Lieutenant Provenza is too angry to listen to me right now, and Julio may not feel inclined to listen to you…" A byproduct of the others knowing or at least suspecting how close they had become. She had never made a secret of the fact that they were friends. Anything beyond that would simply be speculation. They were trying, very hard, to remain objective and discreet. It was the only way that she could see herself moving forward in a situation that seemed beyond their control. A situation that neither of them seemed in any hurry to correct or change. Sharon pushed those thoughts aside. She folded her arms across her chest. "I need for you to have the Lieutenant convince Julio to ask for an attorney. I'll give you a few names, give them to Mike. After Provenza convinces him to do it, Mike can supply the list of names. Neither of them need to know that it came from me."
"Sharon." He scowled at her, upset that she thought she needed to hide her attempts at helping one of their guys.
"No." She could see the trouble brewing. It was in the frustration that was simmering in his gaze. "It's okay." Sharon lay her hand against his chest, let it slide down the length of his tie. "We can't afford to lose any time right now with superfluous concerns. We need to help him. Let's worry about the rest later."
He didn't like it, but he didn't suppose that he had to. He shifted where he stood, looking no happier about the situation. His eyes narrowed for a moment, and then Andy shook his head. "Are you…" He stopped, and thought better of how to broach that question. "Is this going to hurt you?"
Although touched at the question, she shook her head. "No. That's all that you need to know." She had not achieved the position that she once held without learning a few things over the years, facts that she could keep close to her vest, so to speak. "I have some maneuverability here," she added, wanting to ease his mind, but it was truly better if he remained in the dark. "You on the other hand…" Sharon smiled gratefully, "I need you to get moving. The clock is ticking and it's not on our side. Go and find me another suspect."
"Suspects I can find." He made a face at her. "Dirtbags are a dime a dozen, a suspect for this particular situation could take a while." Andy sighed as he turned. "Which is why I'm getting a move on."
"Good." It was not until he reached the door that she spoke again. "Andy." Sharon waited until he turned. "Thank you."
He trusted her motives and her intentions, even if he wanted to question them, he chose to trust her. For that, and proving that her own trust had not been misplaced, she was so very grateful. Their own situation, the personal nature of it, was a bit tenuous and still new. It seemed, at least, to have been built on a solid foundation. In spite of everything else, that left her feeling hopeful. With so many other situations having the appearance of crumbling around her, she was glad to know that she had not so misjudged her own ability to judge others. In him, her trust seemed well placed. If she did nothing else for the foreseeable future, she would continue to hold on to that.
He offered a small smile. "I'm always on your side, Sharon. I get what you're doing here. But even when I don't agree, that doesn't change." He shrugged. "I'm not going anywhere." Maybe one day she would be able to trust that too.
She was beginning to. "I know." Sharon watched him go. Her eyes lingered on the door for a moment. She drew her thoughts around her and turned. There was much that they needed to do. "Okay," she said quietly, and nodded to herself.
It was time to work.
The rest would resolve itself, or they would work it out later. For now what they needed was time, and that was something that they had precious little of.
~FIN