Hermione's Diary
« What's this thing I'm feeling ? It's like my heart is swelled with tears all the time, like I constantly have something stuck in my throat, something I can't get rid of. I've been trying to forget him for so long now, told myself so many times that he's not the one for me and that he'll never look at me the way I want him to. I try to look at others, but he's always the first one I think about in the morning and the last one at night. He's with me in everything I do, when I eat, when I work, when I sleep. And then it's like a roller coaster. I imagine he takes me in his arms, I tell him I love him and we live happily ever after. Then when I see him, the roller coaster crashes, my hopes with it. I'm like everyone else to him. Sometimes he teases me about some clumsy thing I did, sometimes he just pretends I don't exist. I could cry, I could scream, rage, run, throw a tantrum, beg him on my knees. But I don't do any of this I just stare at him and wonder why the very thing I feel is right could ever be wrong. »