One-shot! Whoohoo! I love writing one-shots so easy and no more work after I finish them! :) Enjoy! REVIEWS!~Please? Non-massacre, get use to that I'll being doing a lot more Non-massacre from now on, maybe because I love writing Shisui or Mikoto and Fugaku lol. Truthfully I actaully wrote this one-shot a while ago and was unsure whether to post it or not because it's not really my usual type, but I decided to post it for kicks and giggles. So tell me if I made a mistake chosing to post it then ne? Enjoy!
Warning: Really f-ing depressing.
~~Kyo~~
Disclaimer: Not. Mine.
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Sakura Uchiha.
She had been in love with him since the moment she met him, she was conveniently placed on his team, take that Ino pig, and she had long dreamed of being someone he would need. She expected to be ignored, most boys were like that, though she wished Naruto would be like that sometimes as well, always going on and on about something or another.
Sakura kept trying to prove her worth. When he called her annoying she had been hurt, but took that as she was talking too much, when he had called her weak, she had taken it to get stronger, and when he said she held them all back, she forced herself to be someone who would walk next to him in life not behind him. She had never minded being his shadow before.
She would follow him around in, what her mother called, puppy love. She didn't mind when Sasuke called her names, or said she was annoying, because she would do anything he wished, she would die for him if she had to, she would protect him when she got stronger even if he didn't want protected. She wanted to be his wife when she got older, but after a while she understood.
Sasuke didn't care for her at all, he cared about gaining his fathers approval, and she was making it worse by weighing the team down, holding him and the team back, so she had quickly changed and asked the new Hokage to train her. The busty woman had been surprised that she wanted to learn to be a medic due to her perfect chakra control, and also she had monstrous strength that Tsunade herself had, so Tsunade taught her, and she became a great Kunoichi, but she still followed him around. He still called her weak, still said she held them back, and still called her annoying.
She followed him even knowing he was trying hard to follow in his brothers foot steps, the great Uchiha Itachi the ANBU captain, knowing Sasuke was compared to his brother, and that perverted cousin of his who hit on everything in sight.
She vowed then to help him in anyway he needed to become more, to impress his father and his clan, to not hold him back. To help him make his own path, and to help him surpass his brother, but no matter what she did he just scowled at her calling her annoying. Pushing her away no matter what she said or did, no matter how she tried to help.
She tried to help by teaching him medical jutsu or how to build chakra to a certain point in your body and crush things with a tap like she could, but he wanted to learn his own jutsu, wanted to create his own like his brother had, he didn't want help. Itachi never had help. Was what he always said to her when she tried to help. The stubborn man, but she loved him.
Year after year, they all raised their ranks, Naruto trying to be the Hokage still as his life dream, with Hinata at his side as his 'lucky charm' he called her. Sasuke and she had gotten the title of Jounin and yet it wasn't enough as she knew it wouldn't be, so they pressed on for months more as Jounin with harder missions, sometimes Naruto went along with them as team seven, but most of the time it was her and Sasuke and someone else like Shikamaru, or Kiba. Shino or the such.
She did her best to show him she was worthy to follow him, of course not yet worthy enough to be noticed let alone praised for her work, or even allowed at his side. She though had faith it would come to that one day. Hopefully one day soon. She would just keep trying.
She was disappointed when Sasuke still didn't seem to care either way about her, she was simply a tag along to him, but she tried her best not to care, though he seemed annoyed when people commented on her following him like a dog. She was nicknamed that, along with Sasuke's shadow, that one stuck a little more then his dog. Though she would be like a dog and fetch anything he wanted her to.
She loved him, what else could she do? She wanted to please him, she did everything she did for him, for his sake, for him to allow her to be at his side and not just his back. She wanted him to praise her, though he had thanked her when she had healed him, he had never praised her as if thinking she was only good for that one thing.
She grit her teeth but she wouldn't stop trying to get that position at his side no matter how long it took, no matter how much he hated her, no matter what he said to her, no matter what she would stand proud at his side one day. It was her dream as it was Naruto's to be Hokage, and Sasuke's to surpass his brother and get a 'good job', or 'that's my boy', or even acknowledgment, from his father.
She had become a terrific medic, so great of one that she had surpassed Tsunade in skills as a medic and Kunoichi, she even started training with Ibiki, and Anko in interrogation and seduction to be a better Kunoichi, even an assassin if she needed to be. She trained her best for Sasuke, so he wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with her, wouldn't scowl and glare at her because someone teased him that she was his little shadow.
She was familiar with his family. Mikoto loved her like a daughter, even before, when Sakura's own parents were killed in one of Orochimaru's rants attacking the village, Mikoto treated her like family. She always teased Sasuke that he had such a cute girl following him, which then only made Sasuke angry at her. He told her countless times to stop following him, stop hanging around him, stop coming over.
However Fugaku Uchiha, Sasuke's father had seen her coming by often and spoke to Tsunade about her becoming the Uchiha's personal medic, and when Sakura agreed, to get closer to Sasuke, or prove she was worthy of him so much that his own father approved of her, either one it only made him angry at her. Angry that she had impressed his father, got his approval and even he couldn't.
Another year went by before Sasuke tried out for ANBU and to follow she did as well. She wanted to be by his side, even if she had to follow him to hell and back to get there, so she went into ANBU and when they passed Sasuke was one step closer to Itachi, though Itachi was the ANBU captain, the to be Heir of the Uchiha clan when he married, and Sakura couldn't see Itachi marring anyone. Their strict Captain frankly scared her when she first met him, but he wasn't nearly a crazy as Ibiki so she got use to him.
At first she could follow Sasuke on missions, because Itachi always assigned them together, but then she was separated after a while, she knew she would be. She was separated however not because Sasuke asked, or because the such, but because she was too skilled a medic, and Itachi needed her on another team, else where. Sasuke was assigned a new Medic for their team, though he didn't seem put out, almost relief to get rid of her, which hurt, but it was a normal feeling to her.
Sakura was shocked when she was placed on Itachi's own team with Shisui Uchiha and Neji Hyuuga. She didn't understand why she was on the top ANBU team. This team was talked about by those outside the walls of Konoha and those inside as a team that would go down in history. And she had been placed on it.
Itachi had asked her to be on his team, or more or less just forced her on his own team, because they didn't have a medic on their team and she was the best of the best with her Medical knowledge. Shisui and Neji were both surprised that she was on their team, but didn't question it. Though she was also shocked when they both looked at her as if she had grown a head when they saw her fight.
" What are you doing following Sasuke around all the time?" Shisui had asked. She had been confused at that comment wondering if he was insulting her, or telling her to stay away. She hadn't realized he had wondered because they didn't know her full potential. Of course Itachi would be the one to add this, as if realizing himself Shisui's comment sounded more like the a statement then compliment.
" Sasuke is holding you back." Itachi Uchiha had said to her and shocked her down to her core. All her life Sasuke had been saying she was the one to hold them all back, she was the one who would drag them down, and yet here her ANBU captain had just said to her face serious as the day he were born that Sasuke was actually the one holding her back? She blinked a few times at that. How could Sasuke hold her back? She obviously wasn't good enough yet for him to see her, so she had to try harder to gain his attention to impress him. She didn't really want, nor care, for anyone else to approve of her, to say she was being held back not holding anyone back. Only Sasuke. She wanted Sasuke to say those words to her.
She wanted Sasuke to praise her, wanted Sasuke to smile at her, wanted Sasuke to love her as she did him, but knew it would be good enough just for her to be able to have him acknowledge her, but countless years had passed and yet never had he once acknowledged her skills, or her knowledge, or her potential. She had not realized she even had potential.
She had sighed and ignored the 'compliments' she didn't want them, nor deserve them, if she wasn't good enough for Sasuke, she frankly wasn't good enough.
" Whats wrong little pinky." Shisui asked her. She looked over at him as they made their way back to Konoha. They had been on a long mission. She had been on Shisui, Neji, and the Captain Itachi Uchiha's team for a year now. She was now nineteen. She was beautiful, with that long cherry hair past her hips and falling to trail the back of her knees. She had it back in a braid. Sasuke liked long hair. She had filled out at the chest and hips, but what did it matter if Sasuke didn't notice? She had pale skin like the moon, but what did any of that matter, beauty was nothing to her when Sasuke could care less, but she would be the perfect woman for him, he would see her, she knew he would. Eventually, and then she could come out of the shadow's at his back and step into the light at his side. She knew it would happen, she lived for when it would.
Shisui was almost always flirting with her, and teasing her, but he respected her. They all did. It was weird to be respected by someone like this. Itachi was leaping up a head and Neji took up the back. She was always in the middle followed closely by Shisui, the medic was to be protected not that they ever protected her in a fight, because she didn't need it, they realized that right off. But they tried, treating her as if she would break at any moment, but then acknowledging her skills and strengths enough to not protect her in a fight, only when traveling they made her stay in the middle. Shisui almost always next to her there. She allowed it, nothing she could do, besides she was use to people trying to protect her.
" Nothing." She said swiftly. Sasuke was relieved when she was no longer at his back all the time due to Tsunade pushing her more at the hospital, and Itachi having her on his team, she almost never saw him, when she found him and followed him he looked put off so much she wondered if she should just stop following him already he clearly disliked it.
" You thinking about the wedding?" She looked over at him confused almost missing a step. Wedding? Who's wedding? His? She looked to her Captain then back to Neji. Were either one of them getting married? He saw her confusion.
" I was sure he would have invited you, besides Aunt or Uncle would have. That's weird, maybe you just haven't got the invite. I guess we have been gone a while." Shisui said confusing her. They had been gone on this mission a month after all. A month with out seeing Sasuke. She was sure he was excited just to not see her. Her mood went south at that. Why did Sasuke hate her so much? Was she that much of a bother? Was she that annoying? That weak that he couldn't even bare the sight of her.
" Shisui." Itachi said sharply. Shisui shut his mouth quickly at the unspoken command to. Sakura frowned but didn't wonder why Itachi had shut his cousin up. He usually told him to anyway that was no different, Shisui liked to talk. She didn't mind the silence, she had stopped talking and enjoyed silence for Sasuke, she knew he didn't like to talk after all, and he enjoyed silence and his alone time, so she would be as silent as the dead so he wouldn't hear her at all. It was another way she had changed herself, for him. Bottling up her emotions deep down, and controlling herself.
The rest of the way to Konoha was done in silence, though Shisui looked like he wanted to talk, he didn't. She briefly wondered who was getting married. She knew a lot of couples but they would have told her before now, was it an Uchiha getting married, though obviously if Fugaku and Mikoto were involved like Shisui said. She wondered on it then shrugged, it didn't matter. It would be a good time to dress up though and maybe then Sasuke would notice her. She sighed, she doubted that. Sasuke had never noticed her before, why would he notice her any more just because she dressed differently. He hadn't noticed her no matter what she did, or would do. But she wouldn't give up. It was the only life goal she had.
She loved Sasuke, she had centered her goals in life around him, and thus far she had never accomplished anything but making him hate her more. That was depressing, but it fueled her determination ever more.
Naruto was waiting with Hinata at the gates, Tsunade must have told them she was coming home. She was disappointed to see Sasuke wasn't waiting, though she knew he wouldn't be, though she had figured maybe even he would have waited at the gate to welcome home his brother or cousin and she could pretend he had come to welcome her. She pulled her ANBU mask up to rest atop her head like her leaf headband use to. Itachi had forced her to start wearing it around her forehead so it would be hidden behind her ANBU mask. She hadn't liked it there, but it hid her forehead, one she had always been teased about when she was younger, so she left it there now.
She thought wearing a mask at all was a little bit far out there considering she was the only one who she had ever met, or anyone had ever met, to have pink hair. Anyone could identify her as long as they knew who she was in the first place that is. Though she was well known as a medic and Kunoichi all over the nine hidden villages.
Naruto looked excited to see her finally return. He would be Hokage sometime this year, Tsunade was passing it down to him, like his father had been he would be the Hokage. She was proud of him, and the little woman at his side. Hinata had stuck to Naruto, loved him, and had gotten loved in return after all her hard work, Sakura looked up to Hinata. She had yet to be acknowledged by Sasuke like Hinata had been Naruto, but she was sure it would happen, it happened for Hinata and she was the happiest person she had ever met. So she knew it would be bound to happen to her, she knew, she had to hope.
" Hey kid." Shisui said ruffling Naruto's hair he glared at Shisui for messing it up more.
" Hey teme's cousin." Shisui rolled his eyes.
" Kid I told you my name is Shisui not Sasuke's cousin." Naruto shrugged.
" My names Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage, not kid." Naruto shot back. Shisui laughed. Naruto took Sakura up in his arms and spun her, Shisui made a comment that he wasn't allowed to hold her like that, so why was Naruto, and Neji had scoffed and said who would want you to, Itachi remained silent as he usually did.
" Welcome back Sakura-chan! It's been so boring with out you!" She laughed softly. She loved Naruto like the brother she never had, like she did that pervert Kakashi. They were her family when she no longer had any blood related ones. She hit Naruto and told him to put her down.
" That's not nice Naruto, you shouldn't say that. You had Hina-chan right?" Naruto blushed and look back to Hinata who smiled shyly at him, and smiled even wider at Sakura.
" Yeah sorry Hina-chan." He rubbed the back of his head with guilt. Hinata smiled though as if she was thankful just to be at his side at all. Sakura would have loved to be in that position with Sasuke.
" Welcome...ho..home Sakura-chan." Hinata said softly smiling at her. Sakura grinned.
" Thanks Hina-chan. It's good to be back. I'm surprised Naruto didn't burn the village down." Naruto shouted out a 'hey!' and Shisui, Hinata, and she laughed. Neji snorted though it was as close a laugh as he would do. Itachi for some reason still stood with them as they were welcomed home. He usually went back to report to Tsunade about the mission then write the report. Yet he remained here for some bizarre reason.
" Man Sakura-chan you missed tons. Oh! You've been gone so long I realized you didn't hear the news!" Naruto said excited. Sakura's eyes widened. News? No doubt about the wedding Shisui had talked about taking place, though she was curious to who was getting married this time. Shikamaru and Temari had a wedding shortly ago. Just a few months ago actually.
Itachi suddenly tensed as did Neji, and Hinata looked stricken. Sakura looked at the woman with concern.
" Hina-chan are you alright?" Sakura asked interrupting Naruto before he could go on. Naruto jerked his head to her in concern.
" Whats wrong Hina-chan?" Naruto asked suddenly worried. Hinata looked pale as her eyes jutted to Naruto then Sakura, as if trying to communicate something. Naruto obviously wasn't understanding though Sakura could feel Neji come up behind her and take her arm in his hand. She looked back at Neji startled that he touched her.
" You know Sakura, Tenten has been feeling sick lately, why don't we go visit her quickly." She looked concerned.
" Alright, but let me make sure Hina-chan is alright first she's so pale." Sakura reached out and felt Hinata's cheek sending chakra into her. Hinata's pulse raced and she felt on the verge of panic. Sakura pulled her chakra away on concern.
" Whats wrong Hina-chan?" Sakura asked again.
" Oh I'm alright just need to lay down. Naruto-kun will you walk me home?" Hinata asked quickly. Naruto nodded quickly.
" Of course Hina-chan. See ya later Sakura-chan!" He called as he held onto Hinata's arm and walked her home.
" That was weird." Sakura said rubbing her neck feeling as if she were being watched.
" I wondered whats wrong with Hina-chan. Maybe about whatever Naruto was going to say perhaps?" She asked out loud.
" Oh that's probably about Sasuke getting married." Shisui said shrugging. She froze. She looked to Shisui with eyes dilating in shock.
" Wh..what?" She asked her voice soft and far away even to her own ears. Shisui nodded.
" Yep, Sasuke's getting married. I was surprised you didn't know. I was sure Aunt and Uncle would have told you, I mean you should have been invited, but as I said invitation might be in the mail when you get home. Anyway it's an arranged marriage but Sasuke doesn't seem to mind the girl. Pretty and all, she's from a good clan from Stone or something." Shisui said nodding. Her mind refused to listen any more. She stood shock still, and then it suddenly built in her mind until it was as if those words screamed at her.
Sasuke getting married. Sasuke getting married. Getting married. Sasuke...
Then she passed out.
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The next thing she knew she was waking up to the argument of voices.
" How was I supposed to know she's in love with Sasuke?" Shisui shouted.
" It should have been obvious moron! Did you think she followed Sasuke for the hell of it?" Neji said back with venom in his voice.
" I didn't know why she followed Sasuke around, it's not as if she clearly said she loved him, Sasuke ignores her more then he ignores anyone." Neji made a sound in his throat.
" Just because Sasuke doesn't like her doesn't mean Sakura doesn't love him." Neji hissed.
" It's not like anyone told me, how was I supposed to know not to tell her?" Shisui shouted back obviously confused as well as upset as well.
" It should have been obvious." Itachi's voice suddenly split the air. Shisui made a sound of protest.
" Well now what?" He asked his cousin. Neji huffed.
" Now she knows." Neji said sounding worn out.
" Well she was bound to find out. It's not like the whole town isn't going to be talking about it, or the clan. And if she starts following him around again she would have made a fool out of herself." Shisui said knowing he was right to have said something about it to her rather then keep it a secret. Sakura mildly thought back, no wondered Hinata had went so white, Naruto had been about to tell her, and Neji was trying to get her away from Shisui before he spilled the news like he had.
She felt numb. She couldn't feel anything else. She knew she was in shock but it was a blessing to not feel the pain she would feel later. The shock of it all. She had spent seven almost eight years changing herself so completely just for him, following in his shadow most of her life just to one day be at his side, and yet all that work, all the effort, all that time spent, she had never been seen by him, never acknowledged never even looked at, yet she had held hope that one day he would see her, that he would acknowledge her and let her walk beside him and not behind him.
She had never expected to have him marry her, because frankly he wouldn't even look at her twice, she would be happy to just be at his side, she didn't need his love, though she wanted it. She however had never in her wildest dreams, or nightmares, ever thought Sasuke would ever leave her, or rather ever let someone fill in her space, a space she had claimed long ago. Yet someone else was taking it and he would no doubt like her better then he had ever liked her.
He no doubt met her just a few weeks ago if not months, an arranged marriage he knew nothing about her other then her rank in a clan, a powerful clan from Iwa. Sakura had been following him at his back for eight years and some woman whom he didn't even know would get to stand at his side, and he would no doubt like her much better then he had ever liked her. That hurt her in a way she had never felt, but she pushed it away. Not now. Now she wanted to feel numb. She would break down later, now she was in the presence of her ANBU team, she wouldn't show them weakness, though she obviously was a weakness herself. Never good enough. Never anything to anyone it seemed let alone Sasuke. Her eye twitched into a wince.
She sat up and the talking stopped. She looked blankly at the wall, all her life time goals had just been thrown out like yesterday's trash. All her feelings tossed like a rotting corpse. All her time cut up and thrown in her face, all her hard work stomped on and laughed at. She would no doubt be the talk of the town.
The poor Haruno girl who was always following the Uchiha boy. Poor girl being crushed like that. Rejected all her life, yet followed the boy. What a shame, what a pity, what a waste. She could hear the whispers in her head already. She stood not looking at anyone and rose her hands to her lips and transported away back home would not do, she would never come out, town would be worse, not anywhere with people. So she went the one place she knew she would be alone. A top the Hokage monument. Though the ANBU H.Q was near by, it was far enough away for her to be alone here. She appeared there and sat legs hanging off the mountain's face. It was cold up this far, but she didn't feel the cold. She couldn't feel a thing.
She could see Neji, and Shisui below, racing across house tops looking for her no doubt, maybe thinking she would kill herself. It would be easy to do just lean forward and she would fall freely to the ground where her body would be crushed and she would die instantly. It wasn't like her life was worth living now anyway, what would be the point when everything she lived for was ripped away like that. What was the point? All her work was for nothing. Nothing at all.
Konoha looked so small up here, with people looking like pinpoints on a map. Neji and Shisui racing around like little specks of dirt with purpose. They wouldn't find her in time. In time for what? She wondered as she felt the edge of the mountain slip from underneath her. Then she was falling. It was peaceful. Quiet. She closed her eyes. With wind wiping through hair she had always hated. Sasuke always hated her hair color, as if she were a freak of nature. She supposed she was. Why hadn't she learned then that he would never care about anyone, let alone her. If anything her life had been spent making him hate her more then he did. Well it didn't mater now.
'Here's your wedding gift Sasuke, you son-of-a-bitch.' She though bringing a smile to her face, her last smile. Well it was better to end it with a smile she guessed. She fell for what seemed like forever left to her thoughts left to feel nothing but relief that she would never feel the pain that he caused her.
Though there was something else flashing through her mind, was that regret? She frowned at the emotion. Regret at what exactly?
" SAKURA!" Someone screamed. Oh well it seemed they would be forced to watch her die, she must be close to the ground if she could hear anyone. She didn't open her eyes, she rather just feel until she died.
She did feel, though it wasn't what she thought as she was snatched and jerked to a halt mid-fall. She snapped her eyes open feeling warmth at the tight hold she was getting squeezed to death by someone's strong arms. She had never been held by a man before, other then Naruto in a hug, this felt different. She was shocked. Who had caught her and out of mid-air none the less, she looked down at the ground yards away blue chakra was glowing below her feet, not her feet, but below on his feet and other arm that was attached to the face of the mountain like his glowing feet. He had stopped them with chakra of course. There was harsh panting in her ear, though she felt shocked, and surprised, she didn't feel out of breath, he obviously did in his race to stop her from her near death. She felt completely disappointed.
Then the man holding her slowly let them slide down the mountain face enough for him to jerk her forward onto a near by tree, then to the ground. He held her around the waist as if she was still in threat of falling. His grip on her waist was almost enough to cut off her breath. It was pain, and as if her body was hit by lightning, pain roared through her so suddenly it stole the breath she had left.
Kami it hurt, it hurt. It hurt knowing she spent her life for nothing, knowing all your life goals were pushed away as if not even worth a second look like she had been treated her whole life by him. Loving someone who would never even look at her unless it was in hate or to yell at her. To push her further away, knowing that she had been nothing to him but an annoyance her it hurt. Her body shook violently and then her throat made a choking pained sound and then the tears hot and burning filled her eyes. They spilled over, kept spilling as if her tear ducts were broken.
The man who caught her used his other arm to keep her upright, though he was strong enough to hold her up with one arm. He twisted her and her face was pressed into his chest quickly her choking sobs muffled in his black shirt, a shirt the same as she wore under her gray vest, a part of her ANBU uniform. She hung limp in his arms being held tight to his body as she cried painful sounding sobs hurting her chest, every breath felt like she was being punched, each tear felt like fire falling from her inflamed eyes, and yet it was nothing compared to the pain of the rejection.
A pain so great she felt she couldn't breathe and she struggled to do so with each sob. A pain so harsh that it filled her body making everything feel as if she were dying, as if she had fallen from the mountain and hit the ground shattering her entire bone structure, leaving no bone unbroken. A pain she wished she could pass out from, but she never did, an the one holding her never said a word, never pushed her away, and never even moved as she broke apart, broke apart because her life had fallen to pieces, worthless pieces of trash and rot.
It was a very long time before she had no more tears to shed, a long time before the sobs stopped, and still the trembling never stopped. She shook like she was freezing to death and she felt numb again. She was too tired to feel anything anymore. Other then sick. The man let go her as she pushed away to turn and get sick at the base of the three. She continued to vomit until there was nothing left.
A harsh painful feeling struck her, then finally, finally, she fainted. She faintly felt the strong pull of arms keeping her from falling into the vomit before she knew nothing, and she was so thankful for it, for the nothingness. For everything to stop. The pain, the sickness, the tears, the sobs, the mental anguish, and the physical anguish.
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He had never in his life seen anyone break so completely, never break like this. Least of all for his little brother. She had tried to commit suicide even, and then she had finally broken apart in his arms and he could do nothing except let her, and then she lost her stomach, then she finally fainted again. He had never saw her as anything but strong, never seen her fall apart, it was shocking and it tightened his chest. All of this because of Sasuke. Though his parents were to blame, as was he himself.
Itachi had refused to get married to someone chose for him and so they had forced Sasuke to marry the girl in his place. Itachi would rather Sasuke become the clan head them him anyway, working as ANBU captain was hard enough he didn't want to be head of the entire clan and it's corrupt council with all that political crap going on it would drive him to kill. So he had let Sasuke take his place and his father was angry with him, it was why he had left for such a long mission. To get away from his family and father.
He hadn't realized his mistake until he saw her waiting at the gates ready for the mission, and then he knew that she would break, it would be his fault she broke, and so it would be him who helped put her back together. Sasuke wasn't much a help either, he had pushed her away, pushed her so far in his hate for her, that she had spent her life trying to become perfect for him, to become someone to stand at his side not in his shadow.
Sasuke should never have treated her that way, should have at least turned her down from the start or something, yet he let her follow him for eight years doing her best to get him to see her, yet Sasuke never looked, never care to.
He watched his brother treat her like nothing for years, watched her literally feel less then nothing, for years. Having no self worth at all. Watched her try her hardest do please him. He had put her on his own team not only because his team needed a medic and she was the best, but because he was hoping to get her away from Sasuke, that it would allow her to move on in her life. He should have known a year on his team away from Sasuke basically wouldn't even do a thing to those seven years of following him. Living for him.
He didn't know what to do now. He didn't think she would attempt to end her own life, though he should have figured she would considering she spent her life trying to get him to look at her in favor and it would now never happen. An entire life wasted on his little brother, it made him sick to the stomach as well.
He wished he could have saved her from this fate, maybe if he had gotten to her earlier in time. He could have had her following him instead. He would have looked at her like she wished, he would have praised her, he would have let her walk next to him, he did let her walk next to him, he had never thought she was any less then she was, he knew her strength and knew how powerful she was, yet even praising her like she wanted from Sasuke, she didn't want that from him, but his brother. He sighed as he placed her on the bed of her bedroom. A bedroom of a completely empty house, a house with no life left in it, as if all the life had left the house as well as the one lone occupant, as if needing all she could find for Sasuke's sake.
She was so pale, deathly pale, she would be dead by now if he hadn't found her so quickly. He had almost been too late. He felt sick all over again. She didn't deserve to feel this way, she didn't deserve to be treated like this. She a brilliant woman, a beautiful Kunoichi, an ingenious medic. And she tried to do nothing but be seen, by Sasuke.
His throat tightened as he watched her sleep, saw the black almost bruises under her eyes, her cheeks stained with red tear tracks. Her face otherwise pale and ghastly. But she was still so very beautiful it was such a waste on his brother. A thought that had always passed his mind when ever he saw her, a thought no doubt every man in Konoha thought, except the ones that mattered. Like Sasuke himself, or his father who should have realized having Sasuke marry some girl from Iwa would crush Sakura who had been in love with Sasuke for eight years. Not only that, but spent all that time changing for him, yet he had never even praised her.
He sat next to her on the bed pushing long pink strands of hair from her face. She was so unique. With this hair, and those jade eyes. An exotic beauty. Wasted at such a young age. It was soft and silky between his fingers.
Sakura woke and he knew instantly. She lay looking up at the ceiling with blank empty jade eyes. She then sighed deeply and emotion returned, though only pain, a pain so deep he didn't know how to even understand how deep it really went, to her soul he figured. A pain that cut through the body, the soul, and the heart, a pain so deep it would never be gone.
He figured that was how she felt. Though he wouldn't know, he had never wanted to really prove anything to anyone, never loved anyone that much, and never was betrayed, or ignored in such a way for so long. He wouldn't know how she really felt, the extent of her pain, but he could guess.
She laid there staring at the ceiling for a very long time while his fingers played absently through her long hair. That pain never went away, but no more tears fell, as if this pain had stopped being enough for tears, and now it was just so strong the pain could not be expressed or released, only felt.
XxxXxxXxX
He wasn't sure what she had to prove being here. She walked at his side through the Uchiha district in her long black dress. Such a depressing color for a wedding, the wedding they were to attend. He supposed though for her this was like a funeral, a death of her life, her soul, and her heart. The death of her future.
She was so small next to him, though she had always been tiny, so short, and small like a doll, yet she had always proved her strength, no one ever looked at her as if she would be helpless or weak, no one but Sasuke that is, obviously.
Her pale skin was made almost ashen in the black of her long dress, the dress brushed the back of her ankles as they walked slowly, in no obvious hurry. To Sakura this was like walking to the gallows.
All that long cherry pink hair was piled up in complicated knots his mother had done for her, she had just sat like the lifeless doll she had turned into and let his mother dress her, style her hair, and even paint her lips red. She was as breath taking and beautiful as a doll, and just as blank, just as lifeless, just as empty, almost completely empty except the shine of bottomless pain in her eyes. A pain that never went away from her eyes, she never spoke, never said a word in all the time she had been back, never a single word.
He had stayed with her though, she was his to care for now. She couldn't be left alone, he didn't trust her not to end her life, though he figured she was done with that stage, she seemed to just be existing for him, for the pain, but for nothing else, it was as if she were dead regardless. He knew with out a doubt that when she had let herself fall from the monument, she had already decided it was over, after he had saved her from her own fate, after she had passed out, he knew with out doubt that it would be like she had died that day. And it was.
She walked at his side in her elegant black dress, with those high heels raising her height but only slightly and not enough to make her seem any less tiny. With those jade eyes filled with that deep pain, and with a blank face expressionless with lips painted red and her arm tucked in his as he lead her to the end of it all. To the wedding.
People stared, he knew, but she didn't seem to care, she didn't care about anything anymore, nothing at all. She knew nothing but the pain, nothing.
He wondered what she was proving by coming here for this torture, why she felt the need to come see something that would no doubt shove the last knife through her heart cutting it out fully, he wondered why she would do something like this, but he didn't stop her, he just stayed at her side knowing is was all he could do for her, after ruining her life he owed it to her, and as a friend he was content to stay with her forever as long as she was alive, even if it was only at a physical aspect.
So he walked her down the street toward the lake where the wedding was being held, on the outskirts of the back of the Uchiha compound a little forest like place surrounded by trees and in the middle was the large lake. A beautiful place to be married, but today was not a happy day for most of the people attending. Most knew, knew that she was feeling such pain because of this event, because of Sasuke, though Sasuke had started causing her pain even before this final shove.
Marring some girl he didn't even know, when he had Sakura following him around willingly, and ready, changing every thing that made her Sakura, just to be his perfect partner, someone who could be at his side, worthy of him. Yet he had chosen someone he didn't even know, and had never acknowledged her not even once in all that time. What cut worse was knowing that it was also because she wasn't from any clan, her parents being civilians, and obviously not worth the Uchiha name. That was what people all over Konoha was talking about, all because of his father. By making the girl Sasuke married beautiful, and from a well known, and powerful clan, he was inadvertently saying Sakura had never been good enough for his son, never at all because he had clearly dismissed her like Sasuke himself had.
Naruto and Hinata glanced at them as they arrived into the clearing, the area having dozens of seats of obvious seating, and a row down the middle, an isle for the bride. An Uchiha elder would be marring the two of course. Itachi lead Sakura to her two friends, the Future Hokage Naruto Uzumaki, and Hinata Hyuuga, both of which had tried their best to give Sakura something worth living for, but no one had ever succeed, he figured no one but Sasuke ever would, and since he never would, she never would really live again.
Naruto looked every bit as stricken as Hinata at his side, both looking as if they all belonged at a funeral not a wedding, just like her. He squeezed her closer pulling her arm ever closer his hand holding her arm there as if she might run to the lake and drown herself, or kill someone namely the bride, or Sasuke himself, but he needed have worried about any of that because she was blank as she always was, being lead around with out real purpose, by him. It was as if he let go, she would crumple to the ground lifeless like the doll she seemed to have turned into.
" She hasn't spoken has she?" Naruto asked almost hopeful as he reached out and brushed some strands of long pink hair that was almost a dull color to it's usual brightness today, as if even her hair was lifeless now. His fingers shook as they brushed her cold skin. She was like a walking corpse. He hated to see his friend like this, his sister, all because of Sasuke, because Sasuke had never even wanted her to be close to him, never acknowledged him, he wished he would have seen how much this would affected her, had he known the extent of her feelings her goals in life, he would have done something, anything to prevent this from happening, to prevent her from wasting her life on Sasuke just for this result.
" No." Itachi said with a deep sigh.
" Sakura-chan..." Naruto said his voice tight as if holding his emotions in check, as if at least trying to hold in the anger, the pain he felt for her.
" Do you understand me Sakura-chan? Will you speak to me?" Naruto's voice trembled and shook, and the the tears fell. Hinata clutched at her fiancee's arm, tears slipping from her own lavender eyes. Their pain.
A sudden sound made them all look to the sound, all except Sakura who just turned as Itachi turned and faced what the sound was, though she couldn't care less.
The wedding was starting, Itachi felt his chest tighten as he lead her to their seat in front, he had to sit up here in front it was his brother and his mother forced them both to sit right there so close at her and his father's side. It was bad enough she was here, but now she got front row seats as well? He kept contact with her as if worried if he let go something tragic would happen. His hand laced with hers tightly holding her hand so tightly he wondered if he was hurting her, but she didn't so much as flinch at his hold, he lessened his hold slightly knowing he needed the blood to flow there as much as she did.
The wedding started and Sasuke took his place with Naruto as his best man, though Naruto looked like he rather not be, and looked almost stricken just having to stand next to the reason Sakura was so lifeless, but he was his best friend regardless.
Her eyes were locked on Sasuke and for the first time there was no pain in her eyes only knowledge, she knew was was going on, it was the first sign of life, a sign she was in there. She simply looked at the man who had ruined it all in one single decision to marry.
Sasuke looked almost bored as well as slightly irritated no doubt at having to stand and wait around, he was never patient after all. His eyes started looking over everyone until he landed on his own brother, Itachi and Sakura. His eyes almost went wide, comically as he saw their linked hands. Itachi clenched his jaw in anger, so now he noticed her? After all this time simply because she was something that was no longer his, something he had never wanted, and now he saw her just because he was holding her hand? She didn't seem to care though she looked at Sasuke with knowledge, of what no one seemed to know, even Sasuke or Itachi.
The wedding began and a soft musical sound started as a woman with short black hair walked down the isle with a long while gown. She was beautiful, but not even close to the beauty of Sakura. Itachi squeezed her fingers, but she didn't squeeze back. She didn't even seem to care that he was at her side, or about anything really. She just watched the wedding play out like an act.
The wedding went like slow motion for them all, including Itachi they wall waited in silence, waiting for her to do something, to snap, to cry, something, anything. But nothing ever did happen.
The wedding came to a close as the voes were said, and then the kiss, her hand squeezed his just once, as if she had simply tensed all her muscles at that, and he looked at her sharply at the sign of emotion, of life, of something, anything from her.
But that was all she ever did as the wedding ended, and he walked her home seeing no need to linger, to have her gossiped about more.
XxxXxxXxXXxX
It was weeks after the wedding, and he was brushing out her long hair for her to sleep, he had spent all this time with her almost twenty four seven pushing his ANBU duty to Neji and Shisui who understood perfectly and accepted the work, his father was angry, but Mikoto calmed that beast. Less Itachi kill his father for causing this mess. He felt such built rage at Sasuke, at his father, at the world for this little girl, this woman, to feel such pain, to never get what she wanted, to never feel loved by the one she loved, to never even be looked at or acknowledged. He had never truly hated his little brother, never until now.
He had helped her do everything, though she was as if on autopilot, she ate herself, she bathed herself, dressed herself, but that was it, she didn't seem to really care what she really looked like, with no point or care, thus he was left with the task of brushing her hair, she acted as if he were never there. He didn't so much mind, it was his duty, his pleasure to be with her to help her. As if making up for all the attention she had never gotten from his brother, he felt the need to give her it, all the things she missed in those eight years chasing after Sasuke living in his shadow for nothing.
Never speaking, never really showing any emotion except the pain, and never really showing much care for anything, almost never reacting to anything. In all the time since the mission that seemed like years ago since he saw her smile, saw anything but this blank expression, he was almost startled to feel her tighten under his hands as he braided her hair for bed. He had just finished when her body started to tighten like a wound coil ready to strike or act, to do something and he waited holding his breath, waiting for something, tears, shouting, rage, a sneeze, anything at all.
And then she did do something, she moved much too quick, though he could have followed the movement easily had he expected her to move so quick, but after all the slow movement in the month since the mission, she had never moved so fast and the sudden movement he didn't understand until the house started to tremble. He stood in a hurry took her into his arms and leapt out the opened, thankfully, window just as the house made a terrible sound and suddenly started to cave in. He stood on the house next door staring at the house, well the pile of remains of the house, for a long time wondering what on earth just happened.
Did she just destroy her own house with a single punch? He was suddenly aware that she was shaking, he tensed, ready for tears, ready for screaming, but not ready for laughter. She shook in laughter, her laughter starting out small and soft, then fully becoming a loud roll on the ground sort of laughter that shook her body and his arm as he still held her around the waist against his chest. He let her go almost shocked as she stood laughing hysterically her eyes shut as tears of laughter spilled down her face, her mouth opened trying to laugh and take in as much air as possible.
She laughed for a very long time until she stopped so suddenly it was like flipping a switch, and like that she straightened and everything returned like that. Here stood someone he didn't know, a woman stood here with a hard expression tightening her pale lips, her eyes unreadable except a familiar pain locked deep down, and like that she was back to life, though he wondered if this was a real life she had come back to or something just to get by.
" Sakura?" He asked almost hesitantly. Her jade eyes locked on his stunned onyx.
" Alright." She said. He wasn't sure what it meant, why she said it, but he hadn't said a word but her name. She just stood looking at him, and he watched her unsure what to do. After all these week and then this. This.
ANBU, his own men, dropped down at his side, their sides. Itachi looked at them as Shikamaru Nara, stepped into his line of view.
" Captain what happened here?" He asked looking to Sakura, no doubt expecting something different, and only seeing a normal woman standing there looking as if she were simply observing this whole affair with an amused sort of blankness.
" Sakura destroyed her house." Itachi said tilting his head in almost apparent confusion.
" Well..." Kiba said in obvious confusion as well.
" Where will she sleep now?" Kiba asked adding to his 'well'. There was a silence, obviously they were all thinking on what to do now.
" I'll just buy a new house." Sakura said her voice was like a sudden splash of ice water to them all they stiffened and looked to her. She shrugged. Itachi wondered if those words held deeper meaning then just what was said.
XxxXxxXxxXxxX
And like that Sakura went from doll to semi-normal, back to normal life, work at the hospital, that Tsunade didn't want to allow her to do, but Sakura seemed almost confused at why the Hokage was nervous about allowing her to do her job as if all this pain, all the wedding everything, had been a dream she had woken from, a nightmare she escaped. They all feared she had thought it a dream and would go find Sasuke again to follow him as if nothing happened, but she never did the sort, and she never spoke about Sasuke, she never said anything about her breakdown, and only did her job and lived her life, she went back to ANBU on Itachi's team though Tsunade was still unsure, but Itachi had allowed it because she had told him not to keep sticking to her so much. He had of course been a little disappointed, but figured she didn't want him to break down the wall she had placed around her mind and heart.
She laughed, she smiled, she spoke, everything back to normal. She didn't seem to care about the rumors and when people tried to ask or talk about her breakdown, she seemed as if she could not even hear them, ignoring them and the memories completely.
Months went by like this, and soon all forgot about her little breakdown letting her heal her own way, all but Itachi who didn't want to leave her alone, because this play she was putting on seemed too fake to him, he was glad she was no longer a lifeless doll, but he wondered if this was any better faking everything to ease people's mind, to make him leave her be so she could live her life alone as she wanted, to obviously break in her own mind when no one was looking.
She wanted him to get back to his own life obviously not wanting him to waste it as she had hers.
He was sick of it.
" It's not helping anything by pushing it all away Sakura. It won't stop the pain just because no one else can see it anymore." He said one night after invading her new apartment, she had downsized to a smaller house, obviously not liking the space of her old home she had destroyed, not wanting her home to be like her life, empty.
She sighed.
" I know. Don't push it Itachi. It's the only thing keeping me... here." He flinched and grabbed her wrists in a swift movement, but she didn't wince or even seem to mind the movement or invasion of personal space.
His eyes were the ones that held the pain this time. The sorrow, the anguish as he stared down at the empty shell she had left behind. He had sat by and watched her be hurt by Sasuke, knowing that he would never love her or look at her the way she wanted, he had allowed it to happen, allowed her to ruin her life, for Sasuke to ruin her life. Allowed her potential to fade away, her hopes to die, her dreams to be ripped to pieces, he had allowed her to break for Sasuke, to fall apart, and he had been there to pick her up.
He had watched her, helped her, and wanted to be the one, the only one she needed, to understand her pain and accept every part of her, broken, and all. He wanted her to know she was worth looking at, that she's beautiful, that she's worth love, that she's strong, that she's powerful, that she is worthy to stand at someone's side not at their back, he wanted her to stand at his side, to love him, to be loved by him. To be watched by him, to watch him. To want to prove her worth to him, to be shown she had proved her worth, to show her what Sasuke never had, to show her she could live a normal life, if only she lived it with him.
His hands tightened on hers and she looked into his eyes with that deep sorrow they both felt. Both for different reasons, but both over all for the same purpose.
" I'm here." He said his voice low, his heart constricted, his eyes steeled. Her eyed looked confused.
" I AM HERE!" He yelled his voice raising and his face getting closer looking into the jade eyes, her eyes widened, he shook her. He had to make her understand, though her own mind, through her walls she build, he had to break them just enough for her to see.
" See me." He whispered pain filling his voice, like it never had before. Her eyes filled with fresh tears, tears he hadn't seen in a very long time, they were hot and trembled, or perhaps that was just her lips trembling as the tears spilled down her face.
" Please." She said choking. And her knees buckled he caught her quickly around the waist and they both fell into a heap on her bedroom floor as he held her and like at the beginning she cried into his chest and for the first time he let tears well to his eyes as well, in pain, in frustration, in agony.
" Please."
Please tell me I'm worth it. Tell me I didn't waste my life, please tell me I'm worth something, anything. Her tears and sobs seemed to say to him, to whisper in his mind. He squeezed her closer his lips brushed her cheeks tears tasting like salt and pain in his mouth. His salted tear coated mouth found her quivering lips and pressed. She froze her breath stilling, her heart stopped, just like his own.
" Sakura." He said against her mouth. Her eyes were shocked, and wide this close, his mouth on hers as their breathing, harsh and fast, mixed. His eyes scanned hers, reading her.
" Will you stand with me?" She blinked her shock as he pressed his mouth to hers again in pain, in uncertainty, in feeling, in emotion, in regret, in love.
" You want me at your side?" She asked against his mouth her voice shaking like her body, like her lips, like the tears swimming in her eyes wanting, waiting, to spill over. Hoping he wasn't playing a sick joke, hoping he meant those words, words she longed to hear.
" I want no one else there but you." He said and pressed his mouth to hers again, she gasped and the tears spilled. Her arms wrapped around him and clutched to him like her only life line left, and that was what he became, her life line, what held her to this earth, what kept her sane, what kept her living, what kept her there, and she was who stood at his side, who kept his hand through out everything, who loved him and was loved in return, she was the one at his side, and never in his shadow.
Sakura Haruno would never be anyone's Shadow again, if anything people would follow in her Shadow as she lived to become the most well known Kunoichi in history, as she became wife of Uchiha Itachi, and as she then went to bare the next generation of brilliant minds, as she became the most renown medic is the world, as people looked up to her, and as she was remembered by all, who mattered as Sakura Uchiha.
End:
Wow this was epic. So much emotion here, it shocked me, it did! Scary though when the author of the fic gets shocked ne? Lol. I hope you liked the fic, it was crazy and everywhere, but I hope I got what I wanted across here, the emotion. It's a different sort of fic for me, but I've been feeling frustrated lately and wanted to write something with soul, with depth. Unfortunately this did not help. Sad ne? Oh well here's another one-shot fic where Sasuke is as usual the evil devilish person who crushes dreams and futures. Captures him quite well I thought. Lol Review and tell me what the heck you thought. Questions, comments, WTF's? Are all welcomed. :)
This fic is to show the obsession of Sakura's love for Sasuke, before she got over it and saw him as only a friend and brother, but this could have happened had Sasuke never left, had the massacre never happened. It's more a 'what if' then anything, though I highly doubt Sakura would have ever reacted like this, it's dramatized for depth lol. I love Sakura and I for one think Sasuke can go die in a ditch. ^^ Wahooo ItachiXSakura! XD
P.S Didn't end how you thought it would did ya. lols
~~Kyo~~