AN: First of all everyone here is probably thinking 'Oh great another rewrite of that scene' am I right? Well here's the thing. We are doing things a bit differently. I have taken the basic scene and made some modifications. So while it still retains its main essence. It makes more sense reasonably from what I've read.
Anyway the story behind this is that I am in the process of planning a Spock/fem!Kirk/Uhura fanfic for the far future (as in done with A Different Path future). And for a particular scene I was doing research about radiation poisoning and death. And I felt this need to rewrite the Kirk death scene to be a bit more accurate based on research. Because really the writers did a good job but there are a few details they skimmed by that I think would have made for a better scene.
A note about a reference I make here. My dad worked on the cleanup of the plants they used to use to make the atomic bombs for WWII back in 03-05. He never talked about it much but one thing I remember clearly was one room he mentioned once or twice in passing. It was simply referred to as the 'Jump Room'. Because to go in there with no protection would be committing suicide, due to the high levels of radiation, once you walked in, you were pretty much dead within a matter of minutes. Something that seems similar to the situation with the Warp Core room. Thus what I am talking about early on.
On another note I consider this more of a family!crew fic than any shipping. That's part of the reason of the common use of the first name here and I'm sticking with my story. Though if you squint you can see Spirk/Space Husbands/whatever you want to call it. But this is supposed to be more of a big brother relationship here. But it will probably end up leaning more towards a ship anyway.
Interesting facts about radiation poisoning: Severe levels cause loss of muscle control, vomiting, headaches, diarrhea, and unconsciousness. Jim being Jim, I could see him fighting the symptoms as much as he could.
Also yes, according to what I read hearing, is the last to go when you die. Vision goes first, then either smell or touch (didn't spend enough time on that to figure what went first of those two), and finally hearing. So it would make sense that though Jim may not be able to see Spock anymore he could still hear him.
A quick thanks to my beta shakemedownandout for betaing this.
Please enjoy the story.
One Minute Too Many
"Jim we can't go in there! Are ye mad? That's a jump room! We go in there and we'll die in a matter of minutes!" he heard Scotty yell from behind him as he followed him to where the door was.
Jim continued to ignore him as he made it to the door that kept them out of the Warp Core room. He knew what Scotty was talking about but he had to at least try. One of the first things they were taught at the academy concerning ship safety about the warp core was never to enter the 'Jump Room' unprotected. To enter it was to essentially sign one's death certificate. Even if you could get out in time, the likelihood that a doctor could save you from that high of radiation poisoning was grim. Bones was capable but he doubts he would be able to fix this. He knew there was a chance that he wouldn't even make it to where the core connectors were, but he had to at least try. If he didn't, they were all doomed.
"And that's why I am not asking you to make the climb," he said turning back to Scotty.
He didn't give the Scotsman a chance to reply. He knocked him upside the head hard enough to put him out for a bit. Strapping him into the nearest console, he activated the emergency harness with a quiet, "Sorry Scotty, but if we don't do something, we'll all die."
He punched in the code thanking whatever deity out there that there was enough power left for the doors to work. He was hit by the first wave of heat. Not bad. But only a taste of what was coming once he entered the tunnel as he entered the code to manually override the door separating him from the climb to the core's connectors.
Taking one last breath of cool air, he hit the final button in the code and nearly fell over from the blast of heat. After a second to steady himself, he knelt and crawled into the tunnel that led to the larger room.
Focusing on moving forward and not the increasing pain or the blisters starting to form, he finally made it to the main room. Glancing up he realized he still had ways to go and with much trepidation that the connectors were really misaligned. But he had to try.
Looking back months later, he wouldn't be sure how he ever made it to the structure. Or even found the strength in his weakening muscles to kick the damn bottom connector. But he did as he swung and kicked the connector with all the strength he could muster. Wanting to curse but not having the strength to when it almost went too far on one swing. He may have probably cried with relief when the connectors reengaged if the energy hadn't knocked him back.
The first thing that he became aware of was a pounding in his head. Groaning slightly as he sat up only to be stopped by an emergency harness. What the hell happened? The last thing he remembered was arguing with Jim about- shit.
Hitting the unbuckle button he almost ran to a nearby console. Jim was nowhere to be seen and he was torn between wanting to hit something and sighing in relief at the readouts. The warp core was back in alignment but that meant Jim had to have made the climb.
He nearly bolted back to the doorway which led to the warp core room. He wasn't surprised to see Jim laying there but was a bit surprised that he was still alive. That amount of radiation should have left him dead but apparently, Jim was more resilient than he gave credit for. Tapping the glass once or twice Jim reached up and pressed a button. Something closed behind him as he realized that he had closed the vent leading to the room. There was a brief pause and then, "Did it work?"
"Of course it worked, ye bloody idiot. Why did ye-"
"Scotty, get Spock," he said interrupting the rant mid-way.
"Jim-" he began only to be interrupted again.
"Please, Scotty." came the response.
"All right, hang on for a minute I'll get him," he said nearly bolting to the nearest console.
Praying that the comms were back up, he hit the button that would patch him to the bridge. Nearly sighing in relief when it went through he said, "Engineering to bridge. Mr. Spock."
"Mr. Scott-" Spock started.
He didn't give him a chance to continue, "Sir, ye better get down here. Better hurry."
"Open it!" he said turning back to Mr. Scott. It couldn't have taken that long to run down from the bridge but at the current moment every minute seemed to be exaggerated. He had taken off as soon as the comm from Mr. Scott had come through. While he had not explained the nature of the comm, the urgency he had used had been more enough to spur him through the halls of the now upright Enterprise.
"I can't, sir. If we do, we'll flood the whole ship and then everyone will die. That will make the captain's sacrifice for nothing," he argued back.
Spock seemed to hesitate for a second seeming to be thinking it opening himself, consequences be damned for once, and Mr. Scott took the chance to continue, "Sir, even if we could it's too late. Anything more than a minute in that chamber without the proper protection is a death sentence. You know that, everyone who has attended a basic safety class about warp-capable ships knows that. All we would be doing is delaying a slow painful death. At this point, it's more humane to let the radiation take its toll. I'm sorry sir but he's a dead man walking at this point."
Spock chose to turn his attention back to the door dropping to his knees so he was closer to Jim's eye level. Tapping the glass once or twice, Jim seemed to struggle for a second before looking up. Somehow finding the strength to speak, "How's our ship?"
"Out of danger," Spock said a slight pause before saying, "You saved the crew."
"At least-I did something right," he said giving a small smile.
"Jim you should not have come here-" he said.
"I didn't have much of a choice-," he said, pausing as a small coughing fit hit. He closed his eyes for a second swallowing hard.
When he didn't initially reopen them Spock began again trying to ignore the slight break in his voice, "Jim?"
After a second he forced his eyes back open, "Still here."
"I need you to know-why I couldn't leave you- in that volcano," Jim said, pausing for a second in an attempt to steady his breathing.
"Because you are my friend," Spock said, barely registering the wetness on his own cheek.
"Hey n-no crying," he managed to get out, taking in a shallow breath only to be interrupted by another set of coughs.
"Jim, please save your energy. Dr McCoy is on the way," he said. He heard Mr. Scott make another call just a few seconds ago. It was only logical that he would be calling the doctor at this point.
"Spock-you and I both know-even if Bones gets here-before I go I'm a goner," Jim managed to force a response.
"Jim-" he began.
"I made my choice-it was my life and everyone else's-or the chance to save hundreds-it is what you-you would have done," he said, closing his eyes for a brief second.
Spock could see and hear; from where he was the breaths were getting more irregular. It wouldn't be much longer. At some point he heard a couple of people come up from behind, but come to a stop at Mr. Scott. He briefly wondered where Dr. McCoy was, even if Jim was too far gone now to be saved.
He tapped the glass lightly again. Just to make sure Jim was not gone. A second or so later, the blue eyes returned. He was barely making eye contact now. Spock put one of his hands up the glass. Trying to offer some comfort, even if there was no way they could physically touch each other.
"Please-don't-leave," he said, the words being punctuated by the shallow breaths.
"Never," Spock said slightly shaking his head, "I will be here until the end."
He was not sure of all the things that he said in the next moments. He watched the chest increasing, its struggle to rise. But he kept talking. He could not remember when the last time he talked this much. But he did know that the last sense a human loses as they were dying was hearing. So Jim may not be able to see him as he dies, but he could hear him. And he wanted to make sure Jim, his friend, his brother in all but blood, his captain, knew he was never alone in those last minutes. He may have never had the chance to say goodbye to his mother but he would not miss a chance to say goodbye to that person who had grown from a figurative thorn in his side to a close friend.
Jim was still looking at him when his eyes finally fogged over and his chest gave one final heave. There was a small hint of a smile as he passed on. At first Spock felt human denial or rather, wishful thinking, a wish that Jim would magically start breathing again. But he knew that would take a miracle, and there were no such things as miracles.
Leaning back away from the glass he took some deep calming breaths. It was not until a minute later when he was completely sure that Jim could no longer be there that he roared Khan's name in pain and anger.
End
AN: From there on out the film plays like it would have. I just felt like I needed to make some alterations to this one scene. Partly because of my muses mood.
And I now have a second idea for Kirk's death scene. So I might be rewriting this scene again. My muses are apparently really in the mood for death fics at the moment.
And to my readers of Sailor Moon: A Different Path. Don't worry the next chapter is currently with juliemarie12.