AU from partway through 3x11 – you'll figure out which part…

"So..." Natalie Rhodes whispered, dragging her tongue from Castle's mouth with a distinctive pop. She's not Beckett. She's not Beckett. The little voice of reason inside his head whispered over and over again. "I'll get the limes and you can take me home Rook," she drawled, licking her lips whilst staring fixatedly at his. Not Beckett! his inner voice – nay conscience – screeched.

"No," he was impressed at how firm a tone he was managing to convey. Excellent work on behalf of said conscience – way to go little buddy.

Natalie was staring at him, completely flabbergasted. "What?" she squeaked.

"No," Castle repeated, firmer still. God he was good. His inner voice was striking up a fanfare, loud cheers of admiration filling his imagination. His chest puffed up and he strode from the elevator as the doors opened without so much as a backwards glance.

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Natalie was still gaping at the space beside her in the elevator that Castle no longer occupied. He said what now? No? What even? This was incomprehensible. She needed answers. Pronto. The elevator doors clamped shut and it began rising back up to the homicide floor. Good plan. She'd get her answers there.

She strode back into the bullpen with a sense of purpose. She couldn't see Heat – Beckett – anywhere so she settled for the next best thing.

"Kevin," she beamed at the fumbling little detective as he stepped out of the breakroom.

He startled. Coffee sloshed from his mug to his hands. "Ouch," he muttered, shuffling his grasp on the worn porcelain. "I, ah, thought you left," he added.

She brushed him off with the wave of her hand. "Back now. So, is Castle gay?" Preamble was so not her thing.

She was answered by the crash of Ryan's coffee cup as it splintered into pieces, coating the floor and the ends of her pants – dammit – in coffee. The expression he wore was one of utter shock.

"Whhhhhaaaaaaaatttt?" he gasped, painstakingly drawing the simple word into at least three syllables.

"Ga-aa-y?" she enunciated more clearly. Had he misheard her?

"No. No, no, no, no," his head was swaying backwards and forwards with such alacrity that she wondered if for a second if it would manage to stay attached to his neck. "No," he added.

"Okay, so he's just secretly dating Beckett, right?" Seriously, no man had ever said no to her before. This was the real mystery, the real case she needed to solve. That murder thingy could wait. Something was definitely going on with Castle.

The remnants of the coffee mug and coffee remained ignored. Ryan was opening and closing his mouth before her like a slightly defunct goldfish. "No," but then he paused and added, "well, not likely considering Beckett has a boyfriend. However, that one is a lot more plausible than Castle being gay…"

Natalie held up a hand, putting an end to Ryan's rambling. "Wait. Beckett has a boyfriend?" That was an interesting and unexpected development. The chemistry Beckett had with Castle was off the charts. How was there another man involved? This boyfriend of Beckett's must really be something if she was keeping that Richard Castle on the backburner over him. She needed to meet this boyfriend.

"Yeah," Ryan replied cautiously, "in fact she's just left to have dinner with him now." The elevator was descending once again and Ryan dismissively gestured in its general direction over Natalie's shoulder.

This was interesting indeed. "Interesting…" she voiced her thought, narrowing her eyes ever so slightly at Ryan. He was a suspect she could break in the curious case of why the hell did Castle reject her advances? "Where are they going to dinner?" she could be very charming when she wanted to be – and she wanted to be – plus, this sweet little cop was an easy mark. She was on his list after all.

Ryan was eying her a little too shrewdly for her liking. "I'm always looking for good restaurant recommendations in New York. I spend so much time in LA, I lose track of what's hot over here," she giggled. That should do the trick.

He softened, apparently no longer suspicious. "I think Beckett said that they were going to try the new place on Fifth. It's had great reviews. Jenny and I haven't been there, so I can't really recommend it to you… Oh we do love Remy's though. It's just around the corner from here and they have the greatest shakes. It's not that upmarket, but it has this charm" –

Natalie held up a hand and Ryan's monologue trailed to a halt. "Bye," she smiled and turned on her heels before striding back to the elevator. All in a matter of about two seconds.

Ryan was left standing in a pool of rapidly cooling coffee shaking his head at the less than normal interaction.

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Josh ran his thumb over the screen of his phone with a sigh. Kate was coming across as on edge tonight. That much was obvious. Their dinner conversation so far had been stilted at best. She kept apologising, but she seemed distracted. More so than the usual, 'I'm about to solve a case,' distracted that she sometimes got when they were together. Plus, she's currently disappeared into the restroom for an inordinate amount of time, leaving him alone in the crowded restaurant to aimlessly check his work emails. Lame.

He catches a glimpse of brunette hair and that sexy leather jacket as she slides back into her seat. Finally. Their meals have arrived and he is famished sitting here waiting for her as the damn thing gets cold. He grasps his fork before lifting his eyes to her.

Huh.

The fork clatters onto his plate, his hand hanging dumbly in the balance as he gapes at the brunette – stranger – across from him.

"Hi, I'm Nikki Heat," she supplies, lifting a slender hand towards him in an offering to shake. What the actual fu…? He continues to stare. You know what? She actually does look like Nikki Heat. Well, Kate. She kind of looks like Kate. Her hair colour isn't just similar, it's exact, like it was modelled off Kate's hair. That's creepy. And the clothes? Uncanny. It's not the actual outfit Kate is wearing tonight, but it's damn close. This is odd. The weirdest part is, her face is familiar. He just can't place it, but he could swear that he's seen her somewhere before.

Josh is feeling uncomfortable with his dinner development. This is A. completely baffling and B. strangely arousing. This woman is super attractive, even beyond the clone-Kate get up. She could actually be like a model or something. Why in the hell is she copying Kate's style so precisely?

"So, you're the boyfriend?" the creepy-sexy stranger continues.

Josh grunts a non-committal, "ugh." He's really not sure he should be engaging with this whatever. It seems like a bad idea.

"Fantastic," she grins broadly, a twinkle in her eye. "Just who I was looking for." She leans in, biting her bottom lip – kind of like how Kate does. "I need to do some character research," she – Nikki? – tacks on. What?

He needs to find words; this is all a little odd. He's carefully crafting a coherent sentence when… warmth. His lips are warm. Oh. Oh no? She's kissing him. This stranger is kissing him. Umm. He should panic? Retreat? Push her away? She's actually a kind of great kisser. His mouth was already hanging open just a touch from the shock of this whole situation so her tongue is already in his mouth and she's doing this little thing with a twist and oh god, he's a little bit turned on. Whoops. This is not his girlfriend. Double whoops. Before he finds the strength to push her away – like he's totally planning on doing, definitely within the next two seconds, there's a loud sigh –

"Are you freaking kidding me?" rings shrilly out from a very familiar voice – and his kiss attacker pulls away, just beating him to the punch because he, himself was totally just about to shut this shit down himself. Him. Yes. That was the plan.

Beckett is absolutely furious. "Natalie Rhodes strikes again," she mutters. She didn't miss that little interaction with Castle in the elevator earlier. What is it with this actress and making moves on her men? Wait. That came out wrong. Castle wasn't her… well, he kind of was in a way. Ugh. No. She was really just shooting herself in the foot with that line of thinking. Don't go there. Deal with the matter at hand. That was a better approach.

"Josh?" she seethes, hands clenching her hips in the tried and true stance of a woman scorned. "Care to explain?" she gestures wildly at swollen and very I-just-got-kissed lips of Natalie Rhodes.

"I…umm…ah…" he stammers. "She attacked me!" he finally gets out – loudly and with a tone that is much more petulant than apologetic. Nice. Other restaurant patrons are starting to look, apparently they're staging what the cool kids would call a scene.

"Oh please. I was watching for a good ten Mississippi's. You really fought her off," Beckett hisses.

"She took me by surprise," Josh argues, throwing his hands in the air. Apparently shrugging is the way to apologise. "What is she doing?" he adds, casting his eyes between Kate and the stranger – Natalie, not Nikki apparently. Wait. Isn't there an actress called Natalie Rhodes? From that awesome zombie movie?

Beckett levels a glare in Natalie's direction only to meet a matching expression. It appears, even now, that the actress is mimicking her every move, body language included. She seems to be mouthing along to everything that Kate is doing too. Just fantastic. She narrows her gaze and watches Natalie follow suit. She crosses her arms. Natalie does too. Oh for crying out loud!

If this keeps up, it's going to get to the point that one of them is going to have to die. Either this crazy woman is going to murder her and assume her identity, or she's going to have to kill her first in self-defence. This is madness.

Beckett is surprised, however, that underneath the anger, there is another emotion bubbling just below the surface. Wait? What is this? Coating her from the tips of her toes to the crown of her head is an overwhelming sense of relief. It's her first deep, lung filling breath since she witnessed what she's now referring to – in her mind – as the elevator incident. She doesn't have to dig very deep to figure out why she is relieved. If Natalie Rhodes is here – albeit here making out with her boyfriend – it means she's not with Castle. Or more precisely, she's not sleeping with Castle. Actual, tangible relief is pulsating through Beckett, overpowering her seemingly righteous anger.

Josh is a little bit caught up in the knowledge that he is now pretty sure he did just, in fact, make out with a super famous actress. Like super famous. Wow. Now, that's a little bit of an ego boost. Yes, the girlfriend thing makes it slightly messy and all. But you know what? This kind of evens the playing field a lot. Ever since he found out that Kate was Nikki Heat and Richard Castle, the semi-famous novelist was her friend, he'd felt a little out of sorts over it. Now, not a problem. Sure, Kate had a famous friend, but he – Josh – had kissed a Hollywood A-lister. Good news all round. He wondered how he might best communicate that to Kate…

Natalie decided that this moment of silence was her chance to shine – or butt in as Beckett fondly referred to it. "Character research, Beckett," she clicked her tongue. "Committed to the role," she enunciated further. "In case you were wondering, Castle's the better kisser," she winked.

Josh's bubble burst. What?

Beckett, on the other hand, was wondering what exactly it meant that she was genuinely relieved that Natalie had tracked her down on her date and kissed her boyfriend instead of going home with Castle. There was a chance that this overwhelming sense of relief did not bode well for her relationship with Josh. Best not to dwell on that…

Josh was floundering. Okay. That was surely a gross misinformation. He was a fantastic kisser. He looked to Kate for support. "Whaaa-t?" he spluttered out.

Beckett shrugged, "I wouldn't know. I haven't kissed Castle." Josh wasn't one hundred percent sure he believed that, he'd read Heat Wave. Some parts seemed a little too real.

"Oh, I'd recommend you do," Natalie was nodding. "Ten out of ten," her tone had taken on a dreamy quality and her lips smack as if reliving the moment.

Josh and Kate turned to her with matching shocked expressions, eyes wide and mouths gaping. It was comical really, for Natalie anyway. The other two seemed a little less able to see the humour in it all. Josh is pissed more than anything, who in their right mind tells someone – with a boyfriend – to kiss someone else? Kate is pissed too, but if she's really honest with herself it's more because Natalie has kissed Castle – her? Castle – and that's just not fair. Oh dear lord. This is jealousy. She is green with envy. This is not an emotion someone with a boyfriend should be feeling.

Beckett is having a moment. She really needs to stop lying to herself about this Castle thing. She's watched Natalie Rhodes kiss two of the men in her life tonight – her partner and her boyfriend. Only one of them is churning her guts and making her wildly uncomfortable even thinking about it. It's probably not the one it should be…

"Josh, I…" she sighs, swivels her head and rethinks her strategy, "Natalie, do you mind giving us a moment." Like that's too much to ask after all this madness.

"Oh sure," Natalie nods, rising from her – Beckett's – seat. "I'll be over at the bar," she winks at Josh, "if you need consoling," she levels Beckett with a serious gaze.

Beckett shakes her head in exasperation. That woman is unbelievable.

She sinks into the chair opposite Josh and another sigh escapes her. This was always inevitable, but it was never going to be fun. She genuinely liked Josh, or at the very least could have liked him. He wasn't a bad guy. Although. Hold up. He totally did just make out with another woman. Yep. That could make this easier.

"This isn't working, Josh," she released in a rush, taking a deep breath and continuing. "When I saw you and Natalie kissing, it didn't get to me as much as it should have. I felt shock more than anything. I should have been angry, but I wasn't…" (She had been furious forty-five minutes earlier in the precinct when she'd seen Natalie locking lips with Castle. Completely and utterly furious. Not to mention hurt. She'd been stung by a fierce feeling of betrayal. It was as if her breath had caught in her lungs and dragging in more air was impossible. She was pretty sure that was how she should feel in response to someone kissing her boyfriend and Castle wasn't even hers…) She was jolted from her thoughts as warmth covered her hand. She glanced up from the patch of tablecloth she had been studying. Josh's hand lay atop hers. She reluctantly met his eyes.

"Kate. I should have pushed her away when she kissed me, but I didn't," he shrugged. "I don't think that's a good sign. I don't think we can do serious. Casual has been fun, but…"

"Yeah," a noncommittal smile.

"Yeah," another shrug.

"Bye Josh. I'm sorry." She really is, in a way.

"I'm sorry too." She thinks he really might be too.

Beckett is out of there so quickly she misses the exchange between Natalie and Josh as he plonks himself miserably on the barstool beside the actress. "I was kidding earlier, you're the better kisser. Want to pick up where we left off before the interruption?" Apparently Natalie Rhodes really has stolen her boyfriend, but as to her partner?

It appears the ball's in her court on that one… You know, after the day Beckett's had, she really needs someone to debrief with and there's only one person she can imagine venting to at a time like this…

AN: Hi team! Yes, I currently have an unfinished Gilmore Girls fic that I am ignoring – whoops. If you're still waiting on that, I promise it will come (it may not be today, or tomorrow, but definitely someday). I went overseas for a month and got all distracted and it fell on the backburner… Sincerest apologies.

This story was inspired by a conversation on Twitter (that I wasn't actually actively engaged in, but hey, a prompt is a prompt). It will be two parts – part 2 is half written and should be up in the next day or so.

Oh, I've completely erased Gina from my mind and I've forgotten if she still exists in canon at this point? Let's just pretend she was hit by a bus a month ago or something… If you're super keen for Gina-time feel free to read 'Gold in the Summertime' in which she features somewhat…