I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Annabel always watched the rest of her family fall apart. They all had their different ways. Kirsten was always loud and dramatic, searching for someone to complain to. Whitney said nothing; you could tell by her face and eyes that something was wrong. Her mom would have bad bouts of depression, not getting up in the morning. Annabel was sure her dad was the strongest out of all of them, just dealing with the problem head on. She had never known that kind of courage. Annabel had been a people pleaser her whole life. She dealt with pain and misery by bottling it up inside and pretending it didn't exist. She learned to put up a mask, one that no one could see through.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
Annabel learned early on to always play by the book. Her sisters were always fighting, and their mom was constantly telling the sisters to be nice. Annabel figured being nice would keep her mom happy. So that's what she did. Annabel didn't do too many things outside her comfort zone. She followed Sophie's lead, not knowing that it would later be blown back in her face. She didn't truly let anyone in until Owen. His always-honest policy had stuck a cord with her.
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Annabel faked her enthusiasm every day after she was raped, not wanting to mope around like her mother. She pretended like it didn't happen and took the insults of everyone else without a word. No matter what, you'd always see Annabel with a smile. Owen broke down this wall as well. He taught her how to really express what she was feeling. What Owen discovered under Annabel's walls surprised him. He'd found a broken heart.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
Annabel hated modeling with a passion. There couldn't be a bigger waste of her time. But, she wanted to keep her mom happy, so Annabel never strayed from it like Kristen and Whitney did. She had to be strong, stay strong for her parents. They didn't need another train wreck. That's why she didn't tell anyone the truth about what happened with Will Cash. If she did, she'd be broken. Annabel was afraid to open up to Owen, afraid that he'd reject her. She didn't know if he could be trusted.
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Whitney didn't realize what an effect she had on her youngest sister until she learned Annabel's secret. It was one Sunday when Annabel went out for breakfast with a friend. Whitney had wanted to ask who but didn't want to seem noisy. She was dying to know what was wrong with her little sister, the supposed strong one. Whitney decided to casually snoop in Annabel's room. She found a journal on her dresser and flipped it open. Whitney flipped through the entries until one from the end of Annabel's sophomore year caught her eye. It had three lines written on the page. Will Cash raped me. Sophie now hates me. My life sucks. This shocked Whitney. Annabel always seemed so put together and happy, like nothing was wrong. Whitney had always considered her the one who had never been broken, but she now realized Annabel might be the most broken of them all. She wondered why her little sister didn't tell anyone before realizing she did it for them. Annabel didn't want to make anyone else's problems worse. She didn't want to take the attention off of Whitney.
Whitney was angry with herself for taking away the little attention Annabel needed. Maybe if she would just eat normally, her parents could devote more time to their other daughter and be able to see through her mask. Whitney resolved to get better, not just for herself but for Annabel, who had suffered so much just for her.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurtBecause of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Annabel sat in her car and cried. She cried for herself, for Whitney, for her parents, and for everyone. She cried for letting Owen down and just making a mess of her life. Annabel was sick of being nice and not saying how she felt. For the first time in a while, she was angry. Annabel was angry at Will Cash for raping her, Sophie for not hearing her side of the story, Emily for automatically taking Sophie's side, her parents for not noticing a change in her, and Whitney for forcing her to be the strong one. Most of all, Annabel was angry with herself for not speaking up. Her life was an empty shell and it was all her fault.
Because of you
Because of you
Annabel didn't know who to blame her problems on, but she did know who to thank for helping mend them: Owen. He was her rock, the guy she couldn't live without. She loved how he always told her the truth no matter what. Annabel loved that, with Owen, there was no BS. Because of him, she was able to put her life back together. She was no longer afraid.