Title: The Night After
Author: LOTSlover®
Characters: Richard / Kahlan / Zedd / Cara
Rating: PG – 13 / T
Timeline: Tag to Torn
Story Type: Romance / Angst
Spoilers: Anything from Torn (S2 Ep11)
Disclaimer: I love them and love to write about them even though I don't own them or make a dime.
Summary: Richard's thoughts after Kahlan is put back together. (One-Shot) Written at the request of RichlanRocks. Thanks!
The Night After
The air was cool as the moon rose higher in the dark sky. Millions of stars speckled the midnight blanket overhead. The flames of the fire flickered and danced, leaping up towards the sky and disappearing into the vast darkness of the night.
The flames reflected in his dark brown eyes as he stared into the fire after settling himself against a log. Richard had readily volunteered to take the first watch, knowing that there was no way he would be able to sleep, not tonight. Not after everything that had transpired the last few days. And definitely not with the tumult that was spiraling inside his heart and mind. There were just too many thoughts and emotions to absorb and to process.
As his mind began to race, his gaze moved towards the beautiful sleeping form that lay on the other side of the campfire. She looked so peaceful and content sleeping on her side facing towards him, the same blanket he had made love to her on draped over her.
Richard was so thankful that Zedd had been able to put his Kahlan back together. He didn't think he could have handled having her gone forever, having only the two magical remnants of her around, reminding him of what he had lost. They each may have looked and sounded just like her, but they were not Kahlan. Not his Kahlan. Not the woman he loved so much it swallowed him whole and made it difficult to breath at times.
The one Kahlan held her heart, her compassion and love. But she also held such erratic emotions and irrational thoughts that were so unlike her. When she had woken him and told him she needed to talk to him alone, he had been concerned that something was wrong. When Kahlan had finally told him that this could be their only chance, Richard was stunned at first. He had been worried about Zedd, worried about getting Kahlan to Aydindril and making sure she was alright. He hadn't even considered what she was suggesting until that moment.
She had looked so breathtaking, the moonlight playing off her dark hair, the love in her blue eyes, her shyness in bringing up the fact that they could be together now. If he wanted to…did she even need to ask?
In that moment, his heart had begun to race wildly, his breathing became heavier with each intake of air. He didn't need to say anything as the answer reflected in his eyes and in his kiss as he crushed his lips to hers with a force of passion that nearly knocked them both down.
So strong was their desire for each other, they had readily begun to devour the other, unable to get enough of each other. Lips tasting and discovering, hands exploring and roaming freely over each other's bodies.
Clothes were hastily pulled away and carelessly discarded; too absorbed with the one each had been aching to love and unite their bodies with. Her hot flesh pressed against his was still not close enough for his liking. He wanted to be inside her, melded into her.
As he laid her down on the blanket and began kissing down her throat, his hand on her thigh, pulling her knee up, he could scarcely believe this was really happening. He had wanted this, wanted her for so long. Her moans and soft murmurings of his name only served to further ignite the blazing passion in his body that burned for release. The feel of her body under his, her soft flesh pressed against his toned muscles, her lips on his. Tasting her, enjoying her, pleasing her, showing her everything he felt inside for her. They were two hearts and two bodies finally moving together in perfect rhythm as one.
Even now, memories of that night's passionate love making were causing him to be very aroused again. Kahlan was the most precious thing to him on the face of the earth. Being with the one who he thought was Kahlan had been pure rapture beyond his wildest fantasies.
He could scarcely believe that he had spent that night with her in his arms, that he had enjoyed the pleasure of waking up to her beautiful smile, her luscious body pressed tightly against his as his hand gently caressed her back.
Only it wasn't really his Kahlan that night. Glancing back over at her now as she slept, Richard sighed in frustration, running a hand through his hair in an effort to calm the desire that was aching for release again.
Realization had slammed into him that morning when the Kahlan he had just made love with hours earlier flew into a hysterical tirade right before his eyes. Making wild accusations, this Kahlan had accused him of loving Cara and stormed off, telling them that she hoped they'd be happy together.
Although that was when he began to realize that something wasn't right, it wasn't until she had tried to get him to abandon their quest that he knew something was deadly wrong. Panic began to grip his heart as he realized that something had happened to her. This was not the Kahlan he had fought so hard beside for so many months, his Confessor and best friend, the Kahlan he had fallen in love with and that held his heart. All he did know was that he had to get her to Zedd in Aydindril and he had to get her there quickly.
Reaching Aydindril and seeing the gathered crowds, Richard was shocked to see Kahlan standing before the people, sentencing Zedd to death by hanging at first light. How could that woman be his Kahlan?
Richard had been apprehensive when he first approached the Mother Confessor. This woman looked like her, but was also very unlike his Kahlan. She was cool and unemotional; her bright blue eyes were like ice, devoid of any love for him. That's what stunned him the most when he first saw the Mother Confessor, the lack of love in her eyes for him. He hadn't realized how much he took the love in Kahlan's eyes for granted until he no longer saw it there.
She showed no sign of happiness, no excitement at seeing him there, only annoyance. It was like he was a nuisance, getting in the way of her Confessor duties. She only tolerated him because of the love she had at one time felt for him in addition to the respect for his title of Seeker of Truth.
Finally getting a chance to talk to Zedd calmed Richard's heart. He was relieved that his grandfather was well for the most part and that he could put Kahlan back together. It had warmed his soul that Kahlan loved him so much that she was torn between her duty and her love for him, but now he was desperate to get his soul-mate back in one piece.
Standing before her, trying to reason with the Mother Confessor once more, Richard was startled to find his plan rapidly falling apart. When the Mother Confessor saw herself standing before her, she was stunned but relieved to be rid of her emotions. Then she questioned her other half as to whether she felt complete.
Richard was shocked when the emotional Kahlan latched onto his arm, adamantly stating that she did. He could hardly believe what he was hearing. This was rapidly spiraling out of control. Confessor Kahlan was smirking with her little victory while also growing more agitated, ready to end this right here.
Her twin was rapidly becoming more desperate and irrational as she vowed to be a good wife, love Cara as a sister, and share Richard with her. So appalled and shocked by her suggestions and her obsession with him, Richard exclaimed that he would never be her husband as he jerked his arm out of her grasp.
Thinking back on it now, Richard had hated hearing those words come out of his mouth, but it wasn't his Kahlan he had said it to. In his entire life, he had never wanted anything more than to be Kahlan's husband, to take care of her and love her for the rest of her life.
And he promised himself that he would someday once the rift was sealed and the Keeper was defeated. They would have the life that they each dreamed about. They would have the home, the picket fence, and the children. Did Kahlan really desire those things or was that just a part of that Kahlan's frantic emotional delusions? He wanted to share that life with her so badly; he hoped that she did too.
Richard wasn't sure what had hurt the most yesterday – the cold, loveless Kahlan that had looked at him as if he meant absolutely nothing to her or the fact that she had been with another man. Even though it wasn't his Kahlan, he never thought that she would ever betray him like that.
He choked down the lump that swelled in his throat at the thought of her with Fryen, his hands on her body, touching and kissing her, sharing an intimacy that was meant solely for him. It was suppose to be a loving intimate expression of their love and passion for one another, a sacred event that was to be theirs to share together. Instead, it had been reduced to just a physical, loveless act. It had been duty; head over heart. They had made a mockery of the love he and Kahlan were aching to share, but were powerless to express.
Looking down, Richard found that his hands were gripped so tightly that his fingernails were digging into the palms of his hands. Rubbing his hands over his face as he desperately tried to push away the haunting images of Fryen with Kahlan, Richard was startled to find his face was wet. So absorbed by the agonizing thoughts, tears had fallen down his face unnoticed.
The worst had been yet to come, though, when Zedd had told both Kahlans that neither was pregnant. It had caused mixed emotions in Richard. He was relieved because he had shared a night of passion, a night that he had dreamed of for so long, with someone who was just a fragment of the woman he loved. At the same time, he couldn't wait till the world was safe and he could settle down with Kahlan to have children. He wanted to be the one who made Kahlan pregnant. The real Kahlan.
The Confessor Kahlan had been stunned to hear that she wasn't pregnant. Casting a mocking glare past Zedd directly at Richard, she had proudly admitted that she had been intimate with Fryen many times. She could have stabbed him in the heart with her dagger and it wouldn't have hurt any less.
Could the real Kahlan so easily give up her love for him? His heart almost stopped beating in his chest as Richard felt as if his living nightmare in the Valley of Perdition had come so close to being a reality. His chest was suddenly so tight that he couldn't catch his breath. Attempting to stifle a cry that threatened to escape, Richard jumped to his feet. He had to walk, lose himself in the comfort of the woods, try to escape the panic that was dominating his heart.
Quickly leaving the camp, Richard took several deep breaths of the cool night air as he attempted to clear his head of the horrors that continued to haunt him. He was still rattled by what he had experienced in the Valley. He knew none of the hallucinations in Perdition had been real, the two Kahlans hadn't been real, but it had all been too close to his deepest darkest fears that secretly terrorized his soul.
After walking for several moments, Richard came to a stop by the lake. Finding a fallen log, Richard sat down, taking in the calmness and the moon reflecting off the water. It was so tranquil, so peaceful, so unlike the tempest in his soul. He just could not imagine a life that didn't include Kahlan in it.
Richard had been torn himself when he learned that Kahlan didn't remember what had happened. He was so glad that she didn't remember the cruelty that she had dispensed or having been intimate with Fryen. At the same time, it was heartrending to him that she didn't remember their first night together even though it hadn't really been her.
He had been sincere when he had told Kahlan that he had enough memories for the both of them. He would carry them with him, protect them forever, for the both of them. And if they never got to experience their love for each other again, he would always have that one night where for a brief time, he had been able to give all of himself to her, had been able to show her all that he held in his heart for her. Deep down though, Richard knew that would not be last time he would hold Kahlan in his arms. She would have the chance to experience his love for herself and he would have the chance to show her all over again.
With that flicker of hope burning warmly in his heart, Richard jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. So absorbed in his thoughts, he hadn't heard anyone approaching him.
"I'm sorry, Richard…I didn't mean to startle you," she softly said.
"Kahlan, what are you doing up? Is something wrong?" Richard quickly asked, concern washing over him as he turned to look at her.
She looked so beautiful standing beside him. His breath caught in his chest as he noticed the blanket they had made love on a few nights ago wrapped tightly around her shoulders. Her hair was slightly messed, a sleepy look still settled in her eye, and a small smile graced her soft lips. He ached to taste those lips again, to feel her skin pressed against his.
"I'm fine. I was just worried about you," she replied.
Sitting down next to him on the log, Kahlan noticed the wash of conflicted emotions on his face. She knew that the last several days had not been easy for him. It had to have been difficult having made love to someone you thought was yours only to find out later she wasn't. She shuddered at the thought of what her two halves had been like. Was she really capable of such irrational behavior, such heartless actions?
Seeing her shiver, Richard wrapped an arm around her, drawing her close to him. Resting her head on his shoulder, she nuzzled deeper into the safety and warmth of his embrace. She could hear and feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It was soothing to her soul to know that it beat for her and her alone.
"Richard, I'm sorry for what I put you through the last several days," she slowly began, finally breaking the silence.
"Kahlan, you had no control over any of it. Neither of them was even you. You have nothing to apologize for," he heatedly responded, grasping her shoulders and turning her to face him.
"I know, but I also know that it still must have been difficult for you. We finally had a chance to be together and it wasn't even me. I wish so much that it had been," she sadly stated, looking down. She couldn't bear to see the hurt in his warm brown eyes, but she had been worried about him after hearing him leave the campsite and wanted to make sure he was alright.
"Kahlan, I'm just so relieved that you're safe and that you're you again. I want no one other than you. And some day, we will be together. I believe that with my whole heart."
"I hope so. More than anything, I would love to build a life with you, to be your wife, have your children. I want all of it, the picket fence and everything that goes with it," she softly replied, tears shining in her eyes.
Startled by her words, a smile slowly spread across his handsome face as the soothing calmness of her love flooded his soul and quieted the swirling storm that had possessed him. She was the only one who could always make everything right in his world again.
"Are you sure you don't remember anything from the last few days?" he incredulously asked.
"I'm positive…why?" she asked confused, but glad to see the swarming emotions dissipating in his eyes.
"When you were torn, the Kahlan that had your heart told me that she dreamed of settling down with me, raising children, and picket fences. I told her I dreamed of those things too."
Smiling her unique smile that was saved for only him, Kahlan knew that he had been relieved that she truly shared those same dreams with him. Placing a hand to the side of his face, Kahlan leaned in and placed a comforting kiss to his warm lips. She wanted more than anything for Richard to take her right there, to reenact everything he did with her other half the other night. Every touch, every caress, every kiss, every passionate stroke, every moan and gasp of pleasure.
Feeling a warm rush in the pit of her stomach, Kahlan's desire was rapidly building as she thrust her tongue into his mouth to absorb his taste. Reaching up to grasp a handful of his hair, the blanket fell off her shoulders as Richard tightly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.
He readily responded to her passionate kiss, his own urgency and need deepening the kiss even further. Breathless, Kahlan reluctantly pulled back. Pressing her forehead to his, she closed her eyes against the wash of tears that sought escape. She wanted him so desperately. She knew that one of these times they were going to kiss and she wouldn't be able to stop.
"I love you and only you, Richard…always," she whispered.
"I love you forever, my precious Kahlan," he murmured before closing his eyes and pressing his lips to her forehead.
Holding her that night in his arms under the thick cover of stars, they both dreamed of the future and how sweet their first night together truly will be.
THE END
*Sorry, I'm not completely happy with how this turned out, but I wanted to get it posted. I have two other fics I'm working on right now that I want to get back to so I can get them posted soon also! Thanks for bearing with me!