A Fumble with Umbridge

Umbridge closed the door to Fudge's office behind her quietly. "You called for me, Cornelius," she asked in her high-pitched voice.

Fudge nodded gravely. "Indeed I did, Dolores. Please, take a seat."

It has come to my attention," Fudge started in his stern voice, "that people under your employ have been complaining more than usual. Now, I put this down to, at first, to just stress, what with you juggling so many projects. Then, one of your employees came up to me and reported torture! After hearing that their co-worker had reported to me, so did the rest of your employees. So I called you here today, Dolores, to ask you this- are these reports true?"

Umbridge blushed, her face turning a pink bright enough to rival her clothing. "Only to teach them, Cornelius! Could I accept an employee who lied? Who talked back to me? Who stole from the Ministry's supplies? No! Cornelius, it was absolutely necessary!"

"Dolores, I do understand the circumstances, but torture is out of the question! It is an extremely out-of-date way of teaching the employees what to do and what not to do. I'm afraid that I have to fire you." Fudge shook his head. "Dolores, if I could, I wouldn't do it! But this could potentially become a publicised scandal, and I couldn't do that to the Ministry. I'm sorry, dear."

Umbridge stood up and tried a last-ditch attempt to save her job. "Oh Cornelius," she said in the huskiest voice she could manage, "I'd do anything to keep my job."

At this, Fudge's face reddened. He loosened his scarlet tie that looked horrible with what he was wearing. "Whatever do you mean, Dolores?"

Umbridge slowly started to unbutton her violent pink blouse. Turning around, she shot a Sealing Charm at the door as her silky top fell to the floor.

"When I mean anything," Umbridge winked seductively in the middle of the room, wearing nothing but a skirt and a bra, "I really do mean anything."

Fudge blinked twice, and shook his head as if to clear it. After taking a deep breathe, he said, "Dolores, I am not denying the fact you are a beautiful woman, but if this got out, a huge scandal would be at hand. I can't give your job back- oh!" he dropped off suddenly. Umbridge had gotten on her knees, crawled under Fudge's table and unzipped his pants.

"Oh, Dolores! What are you doing?"

"What, do you not like these? I can do other things," she pouted, with a hand on her hip. "These are my specialty, though."

"No, I'm not saying I don't like them, because I do love them. It's just that, I'm married, Dolores, and I love my wife," Fudge looked terrified at the prospect of cheating on his wife of fifteen years.

Umbridge laid a finger on her lips and shrugged, saying, "No-one needs to know. And besides, it is quite rude to ignore a woman's requests."

Fudge cleared his throat. "Alright, then, Dolores."

Moments later, outside the Minister's office, wizards and witches were staring questioningly at the door. Grunts, moans and groans were audible through the walls. As the Minister, Fudge always had rather weird things happening in his office, anyways, so most of the Ministry's employees went about their day.

In the Ministers' office, Fudge lay on the floor, naked besides his scarlet tie. Umbridge was sitting up against the table, Fudge's head in her lap. She was stroking his hair.

"So, Cornelius. Do I get to keep my job?" Umbridge asked cheekily.

Fudge turned his head to face her. "On one condition."

"What?"

"Every Thursday, you come straight here after the day ends and we do this again." Fudge said sternly.

Umbridge winked at Fudge. "I'm fine with that."