1.
"I want to give you something I've been wanting to give to you for years—my heart."
The moment that he and Aaron had managed to come together was the most brilliant moment in his twenty-eight years of life. He had been hoping that it would happen since he was twenty-two. It had taken six years, but he would have waited a lifetime if it meant that Aaron would hold him tight in his arms and whisper sweet nothings into his ear.
2.
"My mind, it kinda goes fast. I'll try to slow it down for you."
Spencer knew the moment he said "I love you" and Aaron hadn't said it back that it was the beginning of the end. He had wanted to tell his boss those three words for close to seven years now, and when he had finally managed to say them, he didn't get them in return. They drifted not soon after.
3.
"My heart, my pain won't cover up. You left me."
He had to pretend that everything was fine, that he wasn't burning from the inside-out every time that he was in the same room as Aaron. If Aaron had known, he would have surely transferred him, so he stayed quiet. He smiled and acted as if nothing had ever happened. He acted as if his heart hadn't been blown to smithereens the day that Aaron walked out of that half of his life.
4.
"I came to see the light of my best friend; you seem as happy as you've ever been."
On the day of the FBI Triathalon, the team met Beth Clemmons.
On the day of the FBI Triathalon, Spencer Reid died just a little bit more inside.
They were in love, and it was obvious to everyone around them.
5.
"My words, they don't come out right but I'll try to say I'm happy for you."
It was official—Beth and Hotch were engaged to be married. A knife twisted somewhere low in Spencer's gut when Aaron announced it to the team. Aaron's eyes lingered on Spencer's when he announced the news. He had put on a smile and gave Hotch a tight hug.
He hoped that Aaron didn't see straight through his facade. His smile said one thing, but his eyes said another.
6.
"I can never take this back, but now I can change your mind."
Spencer was currently at Aaron and Beth's engagement party. He had indulged in more than one glass of champagne, and after watching Aaron and Beth waltz across the dance floor again, he had gotten up and headed out to Rossi's garden.
He had been standing and admiring the lilies for several minutes when a voice came from behind him.
"Are you alright, Spencer?"
He tensed and turned to see Aaron, who was watching him with worried eyes.
For a moment, he entertained the idea of answering truthfully.
"No, I'm not okay. I'm watching the man I love with all my heart prepare to be married to someone else. I haven't been alright since the night I told you that I loved you and you didn't say it back. I feel like I'll never be okay again." He stepped close and wrapped his arms around Aaron and kissed him full on the lips. "I love you and it hurts."
"Spencer?" Aaron asked again when he didn't answer. He shook his head to rid himself of the silly thoughts.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said with a smile. "I'll be fine." Aaron watched him for another moment before turning around to head back to the party. "Aaron, wait," Spencer said. His boss turned back around. Spencer bit his lip. "Congratulations."
Aaron smiled.