If I had known how much trouble it would have brought me then I would not have done what I did that day. It was not like me at all. In fact, I changed ever since that day. If only I had not thrown away every bit of innocence that I had then I believe I could have saved myself. Maybe I did not desire to save myself and maybe I was insane for believing in such a thought, but I had been so confused, I had not had any other thoughts beside the one. The one thought that I wished would have never even presented itself before me. Why would I think such a thing about the one I loved? Alternatively, the one I thought I loved.