A/N: It's 2am, I'm tipsy, we JUST got back from seeing this movie, and I got hit with the feels stick really hard and needed some warm fuzzies. Thus was born whatever this is. It's off-the-top-of-my-head, totally unedited, unbetaed, and probably pretty terrible. Enjoy!
Spoilers abound, so if you haven't seen the new movie and don't want to know what happens, this is not for your eyeballs.
SECURITY
Sometimes in the nightmares he sees what could have happened, chest alight with agony, torn apart from the inside, a battery for the destruction of everything he's ever loved. He watches the galaxy turn to ash, tastes it acrid on his tongue. This is your purpose.
Then the nightmare shifts, and there's new pain, the crushing void of loss, hoarfrost creeping across familiar blue scars and the ghost of a pat on the cheek and why didn't I realize it sooner.
They merge and warp, and he's standing on his own two feet, stars swirling in his eyes as he burns away everything in the universe, a pliant puppet with his father pulling the strings and one by one his friends dissolve to nothing and he's alone, utterly alone, and where his heart once lay there's emptiness.
Someone is screaming, and he wakes clawing at his chest and gasping for air he can't seem to find while something furry and warm twines around his neck. "Peter," it murmurs, "Peter listen to me. You're safe, it's alright. Wake up, buddy, come on. That's it."
The screaming stops when he's awake enough to realize that it's his own voice. "Rocket?"
The raccoon is draped around his neck like a stole, arm and reassuring. Something large and solid is pressed against his left side, someone smaller but equally solid to his right. Peter blinks his eyes open and realizes they're blurry with tears. He'll be embarrassed about it later, but for now he wipes them away with a shaky hand and looks around his bunk. They're smashed into his tiny bunk, Drax to his left and Gamora to his right, Rocket across his shoulders and Groot on his pillow gently stroking his hair. Mantis is cross-legged at the foot of the bed; per his request she doesn't touch him during the nightmares or for a while after. After the first time, when she'd looked so stricken, he never wants her to have to live with his pain again. Even Kraglin's there, though he's leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, looking a little unsure of his place among them.
They're all there, the little family they've pieced together from all their broken parts, supporting him the only way they can and without judgment or condemnation, and he feels the hole in his chest shrink a little, filled with a welcome swell of love and gratitude for this ragtag bunch of a-holes. He reaches up to scratch Rocket between the ears, smiling when he leans into the touch without opening his eyes, letting Quill take comfort from the simple gesture. Peter suspects he enjoys it, though he'll get bit if he ever tries to suggest it out loud.
"Sleep, Peter," Gamora murmurs beside him. "We'll be here if you need us." She motions to Kraglin, who rolls his eyes, shrugs, and folds himself into the bunk beside the rest of them. Peter nods, but keeps his eyes open, turning them to the ceiling of the cabin.
The grief over losing Yondu is still fresh, and he feels like he's lost his mother all over again, knowing now that she didn't have to die but for the selfishness of a god. There's sadness, and rage, and guilt and despair in equal parts eating away at him constantly, but a little less each day, and when it's too much and the nightmares overwhelm him, his family draws together around him and reminds him that he's not alone.
Gamora squeezes his arm, and he can feel her smile against his shoulder. Groot nestles into the space beneath his chin, yawning against Rocket's cheek with a little sigh, and Peter lets his eyes slide closed. Whatever happens next, they'll face it together, and it's that security that finally allows him to drift back to sleep.