Emma Swan likes to think she has it all in order.
Being an A-List celebrity is hard enough as it is, with paparazzi discovering her when she so much decides to go visit Starbucks for ten minutes. But, she has a plan and she has tricks that keep her relatively average.
Trick number one: private social media accounts.
While she would like to be the kind of person who doesn't spend her days scrolling through Facebook wondering what her exes look like now, she kind of is. For the most part she spends too much time on Pinterest and Instagram looking for ideas for decorating, fashion, and recipes.
She gets a private Twitter account one slow Tuesday afternoon while she's waiting to be taken to set.
She's working in Los Angeles for the next few days finishing up this action-adventure blockbuster and while it's been fun, she cannot wait to get to fly out to New York to visit family and friends for a few weeks before she has to go shoot a television pilot for Netflix.
Mary Margaret, who has crowned herself the President of Emma's fan club, monitors everything Emma does like a hawk. Emma practically doesn't need an agent or manager with Mary Margaret scouring the depths of the internet for every review and comment written about her.
She only gets the private Twitter account because of one reason: she's tired of the notifications and the stress of running her public account.
She follows only a handful of names. It helps keep things clean and she can still scroll blankly through Twitter while not worrying about what people will think if she retweets a dozen pictures of puppies or if she starts tweeting at her favorite bakery about when they'll have her favorite kinds of muffins again.
It's nice. It's simple. And when she wants to make a public post, she can switch over quite easily.
Her phone starts vibrating in her hand as she's scrolling through her newly acquired private Twitter timeline and she rolls her eyes when she sees who's calling her- his stupid big eyes shining bright blue and his dopey grin spread so wide across her screen.
Emma slides to answer and pulls the device to her ear. She bites down on her lip as a smile spreads, forming dimples in her cheeks. "I thought you were too busy with Good Morning America for me today."
"Did you just follow me on Twitter under the username swangirl?" he immediately asks.
Emma laughs. She shrugs her shoulders. "I made a private account, okay? I just want to be able to have some normal even though I can't have that."
He hums. "I understand." For a moment, he's quiet. "My private account is thatjollyroger if you'd rather-"
She laughs again and suddenly misses him a lot more than she has in a while. Her heart squeezes tight and she turns to look at her laptop's desktop image. He's kissing her cheek while she laughs, both of them sitting together on the small window seat in their New York City apartment.
It's her favorite picture. Mostly because Killian hadn't insisted on taking a dozen to perfect the moment. It just was and they were.
Killian Jones has been her secret boyfriend since they met on the set of one of his early music videos. It was about five years ago, and back then they weren't under as much pressure as they are now, with the spotlight on them practically everywhere they turn.
Back then, she was kind of famous, with a big movie under her belt, and she was starring in his music video as a favor to a friend. Killian was just getting into his big break as well, with his album hitting the Billboard Top 10.
It's been five years of growth since then. For both the two of them, and their careers.
He's a solo artist and a very popular one at that. Every time she turns on the radio, she hears one of his singles. He's been traveling the world promoting his latest album, one he's admitted to her in private was completely inspired by her.
It makes her smile, her cheeks reddening, because Killian Jones could write about anything but he chose her.
"I miss you," Emma admits in a quiet voice. She presses her cheek against her shoulder and listens to his end- it's awfully loud. She imagines the guys in his band are being rowdy while they wait to go on air.
"I miss you more," Killian says. He sighs. "What do you say I come to town on Friday? I do miss Cocoa Bean quite a bit."
Emma smiles, glancing over at the puppy curled up on her couch, napping as if she doesn't get enough sleep.
"She misses you too. But not as much as we miss Mister Smee."
"The scoundrel," Killian laughs. "He's been so out of sorts. He misses you and Cocoa too much."
Emma bites on her lip. Her stomach twists excitedly at the idea of him coming to town. They have an apartment here that she uses a lot more lately rather than sharing it with him. It's been awhile since he's been here.
"What's next on the tour?"
"Ah…" Killian groans in consideration. "A few shows in Florida and then it's over when we head back up to New York."
She smiles. "God, I can't wait for tour to be over."
Her boyfriend laughs. "You should come to Florida with me after I come see you in LA. We could go to Disney World. Do you have anything going on?"
Emma rolls her eyes. "You know if we went to Disney World together the whole planet would implode or something."
Killian practically whines, "But, Swan… think of the fun we'd have!"
A smile twists at her lips. She considers it- riding rides, eating too much, and buying up all of the Mickey memorabilia they set their sights on. She can only imagine Killian Jones in the middle of it all.
"You're right. It would be fun."
"Plus you've got an in, don't you? With that film you did last year."
She hears a knock at her trailer door and she sits upright, closing her laptop as she rises to her feet. "They want me on set. I gotta go, babe. We can talk about this later."
"Yeah, I should be on my way as well."
"Okay."
For a moment, they share a companionable silence, almost telling each other they wish it could be easier.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
..
Emma's second trick of being an A-List celebrity is this: no looking at reviews for stuff she's done, and nolooking into gossip. No matter what.
She's usually quite good at this. She stays clear of the drama and lives in a peaceful, blissful bubble with her puppy pictures and chocolate chip cookie recipes.
However, sometimes the gossip comes to her.
In this particular instance, she's sitting up in bed with Killian in their hotel room in Orlando, having just made a post about flying out of LAX earlier that day.
Her eyes narrow at the comments section and she actually laughs under her breath when she realizes what a lot of people seem to be talking about- she and Killian's nearly identical posts about flying.
ekforever: You and killianjones both flying out of LAX at the same time?
ahopper: ekforever just because they're at the same airport together doesn't mean they even saw each other. Get a life. Let them live.
ekforever: ahopper check my page for the facts. They're more than just friends.
It's intriguing enough to draw her attention away from the comments section of her public Instagram and Twitter pages.
She clicks on ekforever, discovering an Instagram account dedicated to pictures of she and Killian. To her surprise, the page has 312k followers, and an incredible amount of posts. She begins to scroll through, clicking on pictures to find out what they had to say about Killian's GMA interview.
One is a video that automatically plays- showing Killian's ears and cheeks burning bright red when the interviewer asks, "I'd be remiss if I didn't ask about Emma Swan. You were just on the set of her new film, recording a song with her for the soundtrack, right?"
"Ah… I, yeah-"
Their relationship to the public, at least what they've tried to paint a picture of, has always been close friends who often work together on small projects.
They get together sometimes for dinner and take the occasional selfie to sate the Internet's need to see them together, but that's really it. Emma keeps her relationship with Killian as silent as she possibly can and Killian does the same.
But apparently, according to this fan page, they're failing quite epically at keeping things friendly.
"What're you looking at, Swan?" Killian asks, practically addicted to the sound of his own voice, propping his chin up on her shoulder.
Emma turns slightly and shakes her head. Quickly, she clicks out of the page. "Nothing."
Her boyfriend makes a face at her. "I heard the GMA interview."
Emma closes her laptop and sets it aside. "I was just… looking at some gossip stuff. People are kind of crazy. Have you ever seen the fan pages?"
"Of course I have," Killian gives her an incredulous look. "Perhaps we're just a little too obvious?"
Emma shakes her head. "No. We're not. Normal people wouldn't notice that I was wearing your shirt two months ago when you were in Europe and I was in LA. Or that you were blushing like an idiot during the GMA interview at the mention of my name."
Killian arches his eyebrow. "Did they notice that…?"
Emma rolls her eyes and kisses him to shut him up. Mostly, so she doesn't have to think about the ramifications of their small slip-ups and mistakes. It works, both of them smiling into the kiss with Killian's hand on her cheek.
At the same time, their dogs decide to jump up onto the bed. She laughs against his lips when she gets a wet nose against her arm.
"Hey, Smee," she murmurs, reaching down to scratch beneath his ears. "How are you?"
Killian takes the other puppy into his arms and kisses her head. "Miss Cocoa Bean, you and your brother are awfully eager to interrupt a good moment, aren't you?"
Emma smiles at her boyfriend and rests her cheek against his shoulder. She leaves a kiss to it and breathes him in, a somber feeling falling over her.
"Do you think…" Emma bites on her lip. "What do you think would happen if we announced we were dating?"
Killian tucks Cocoa against his stomach and continues to stroke her fur, much to her approval. When they got her, she was a tiny thing, so Killian took to calling her Cocoa Bean, even though Emma just wanted to call her Cocoa. Both are equally adorable.
Emma leans away from Killian just a little, enough so she can see his contemplative expression.
He smiles at her, shrugging his shoulder. "I suppose people would know we're together."
It still causes her anxiety. Knowing just how popular they are. She's afraid of what it'll do to their relationship- being public.
"I don't want to lose you," Emma admits in a whisper.
Killian frowns. His hand cups the back of her head and he leaves a kiss to her forehead. "Hey, hey. You won't ever lose me. I promise you that."
Emma sighs. She admires him- the way his hair hangs over his forehead, the laugh lines in his cheeks, the brilliant blue of his eyes. He's her entire world.
"I love you," Emma tells him.
Killian kisses the spot between her eyes, then gently over her eyes when they fall closed. His lips trace a pattern down her cheeks and then finally, he kisses her lips.
"Emma Swan, I have loved you since the day I met you," Killian murmurs. "And I'm not keen on ever letting you go."
Emma breathes out of her nose, opening her eyes to look up at him. Smee is curled up in her lap- hisdog, while the puppy they'd chosen together is in his lap.
"That sounds an awful lot like a proposal," Emma teases, trying to keep from feeling like she could break down crying.
She sits upright, their shoulders pressed together, while she strokes Smee's fur.
"Would you like it to be?"
Her heart skips a beat and her jaw falls open. "I… no. I want you to propose when you're ready."
Emma swallows. She stares at him and tears well up in her eyes when he twists a ring on his right hand.
Killian holds the ring between his fingers, admiring it. "Liam gave this to me when I was sixteen." He smiles a little. "He said it kept him safe and in turn, he hoped it would keep me safe as well."
Emma watches as her boyfriend spreads out one of her palms. He settles the ring down in her hand. Her heart races so fast and she has a hard time thinking straight with all of the thoughts whirring through her mind.
"I want you to have it." Killian adds. "Because even when I'm not with you… I am."
She can only imagine what the fans of theirs will think of this development, if they'll even notice it, but Emma can't find it in herself to really care too much.
She smiles at Killian and kisses him firmly, their noses bumping afterwards.
"So, like, are we secretly engaged now?" Emma asks, again teasing.
Killian's eyebrows dance playfully. "That would be interesting, wouldn't it?" Emma shoves at him and he laughs heartily before kissing her cheek. "Only if you want to be."
Emma glares at him for a moment, but Killian takes it in stride. He takes her hand and squeezes it gently.
"Let's just be us, hm?"
Emma finds peace with the statement. She smiles and nods. "Let's just be us."
..
Emma doesn't have a good excuse to use when she's recognized in the backstage area of Killian's show in Miami, sporting a ring hanging from a chain around her neck, so she just laughs and says she's here to support her friend.
She's kind of stupid and high on actually being here to support her guy, so she takes a bunch of pictures with some of the behind the scenes crew and with fans that come for a private meet-and-greet. She ends up being there for the whole thing, engaging with the fans as much as Killian does.
It's fun. Getting to be here with him, seeing how he is in his element.
She's seen him like this, of course, before. They've been together for five years. Five chaotic years, but she's still been able to come to shows just as much as he's been able to spend time on set with her.
She loves him so much.
The best part of being at the show has to be the way he stares at her from the stage. It's as if she's the only one in the crowded room.
"This one's for you, darling," he says, dedicating the sappiest of his love songs to her.
It's enough to make her blush. She hides her face in her hands for a moment and then sets her sight on him, her hands clasped together over her heart while she sways and sings along to the song.
She loves him so much sometimes it hurts to think about it.
..
The hotel room is a bit of a mess when Emma wakes up on the morning they're going to finally be heading home to New York City.
Killian had woken up before her a few minutes ago and he'd immediately gone to take a shower.
She hears the water hitting the shower floor as she runs her fingers through her hair. It's a disaster, but she doesn't have a hair tie around her wrist like she usually does. She imagines she'll find one eventually.
Emma sits down in front of her laptop at the desk and while she waits for it to boot up, she smiles slightly at the crumpled mess of bed sheets and pillows strewn about.
Killian's guitar is sitting against the desk. He'd played for her when they came back to the room last night, because she said she wanted to hear a song. He was more than happy to oblige her.
Cocoa curls up by Emma's feet after she dresses herself in her favorite travel outfit- a band shirt and jeans. Emma smiles at the puppy and looks around for Smee, who has decided to sit himself down on the end of the bed behind her.
Emma's heart swells happily when she sees she has a few texts from Mary Margaret and David excited to see her later today and she bites down on her lip as she goes into her Instagram.
She last used it on her private account, so she doesn't think twice about where she's posting this.
It's a simple post about how excited she is to get to go home to New York City. She decides to post a selfie, because she feels good. She doesn't really care what's captured in the image, because Mary Margaret, one of the thirty seven followers she has on this account, won't care- she'll just be excited to see Emma so excited.
Killian comes out of the bathroom, bringing with him the fresh scent of the warm shower he'd taken.
"Good morning," she says, looking up at him while she hits post to Twitter as well as Instagram as a force of habit.
"Good morning, love," Killian approaches her. He's only wearing a towel around his hips, secured with a flimsily tucked knot.
As soon as he kisses her and his hair drips onto her shoulder, she scrunches her nose up at him. "When's the flight leave?"
Killian takes his fingers through his hair and sighs as he thinks about it. "We've got two hours before we need to be at the airport."
Her phone begins vibrating in her palm and she frowns when she sees Regina's name on the screen. She bites her lip. "I should take it. It's Regina."
Killian nods in understanding.
"Hey, Regina-"
"Emma, I thought we were keeping him a secret," Regina says pointedly.
Emma frowns, her heart starting to race fast. She walks into the living area of the hotel room while Killian returns to the bathroom.
"What are you talking about?"
"The post you just made?" Regina asks. "Emma, you're basically shouting from the rooftops 'I'm dating Killian Jones.'"
Emma's eyes widen and a sick feeling sinks to the pit of her stomach. "I… what?"
"Guitar in the lower left hand corner… his dog on the bed," Regina lists off. "Not to mention you have sex hair."
Emma gasps. "I do not!"
"Listen, I'm just trying to help because this is one thing you've been adamant about. Delete the post as soon as you can."
Emma pulls her phone away from her face and puts Regina on speaker.
"I'm looking to see what the damage is…" Emma pulls up her public Instagram page and grimaces at the picture. "I meant to post this on my private page."
Regina sighs. "Okay, well, we can fix this if you take it down right now, Emma. The more time you take to delete, the more people who see it."
Her heart is practically in her throat and she can hardly breathe, much less think straight.
Emma spies Killian stepping into the hotel room, not a care in the world. He sits down on the edge of the bed and lifts his guitar into his lap, beginning to pluck a few notes. He grins at Cocoa, who goes to greet him at his feet.
And it's enough to make Emma's heart at ease.
She steps into the room again, meeting Killian's eyes and offering him a mirrored grin.
"Regina, I want to… keep it up," Emma says into her phone, though she keeps a smile on her face while she stares at Killian. "I'm engaged to Killian Jones."
"Emma-"
She doesn't hear what else Regina has to say, because she's focused on the way Killian's eyes brighten and how he sets his guitar down again before he goes to her and lifts his eyebrows.
"Engaged?" he asks.
She lowers her phone after hanging up on Regina. She knows Regina's already calling her back, desperately confused and needing answers, but Emma doesn't want to give them.
Emma sucks in a breath and searches his eyes. She scrunches up her nose at him. "Yeah. If that's okay with you."
Killian wraps his arms around her and laughs, his nose bumping hers. "Darling, it's more than okay."
Emma's eyes fall closed and she kisses him, adoring the way he gently squeezes her sides before he takes her left hand.
"We'll need to get you an engagement ring as soon as possible," he says. "And, bloody hell, I should tell my manager."
Emma laughs happily. She shakes her head. "No, we don't need to say anything." She bites her lip. "Let's just be us."
He grins, soft and slow. "Let's just be us."