AN: Hey, people, this is my second story. Although I wouldn't call it a story so much as a crack fic. This entire fic will be pure crack with very little basis on the Prince of Tennis storyline. There will be a few small details that indicate when said events occurred, but that's it. For those of you who are reading my other running fic Pillars of Support, this will be completely different. Oh, also, the language may be rather extreme. But, since the only issue is language, I'm going to rate this as T. If some of you believe otherwise, please tell me and I'll see what I can do. Anyway, here's Day 1, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Prince of Tennis, it all belongs to Konomi Takeshi and any others who hold the legal rights to it.

Day 1

"FUCK! Why the hell is that Echizen so much better than me at tennis?" Horio Satoshi screamed in frustration. "I have two whole fucking years of goddamn experience. I should be able to wipe the floor with that cocky bastard."

"Uh, Horio, two years really isn't much experience when it comes to tennis. Plus, I'll bet Ryoma's played since he was really little," Katou Kachirou replied calmly.

"Yeah, Horio, he probably has. Besides, you don't have any skill whatsoever, so it's a moot point," Mizuno Katsuo added with a sagely nod of his head.

As the three watched, Echizen Ryoma, the boy in question, was tearing one Ibu Shinji apart with super awesome tennis skills.

Horio twitched visibly. This, by itself, wouldn't have been odd. The boy constantly suffered from self-induced seizures, after all. However, after adding the fact that, at the moment, he hated Ryoma with every ounce of his essence, it was not exactly a good thing.

"THAT'S IT! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM!" he yelled, pulling out a shotgun.

Kachirou sweatdropped. "Holy shit, dude. Calm the fuck down. It's just tennis."

Horio, however, seemed to be unable to hear him as he waved the firearm around.

"Echizen Ryoma," he announced as loudly and annoyingly as he possibly could, "today you will meet Kami and she will pass sweet judgment over your sins. You will suffer for eternity, and I will rejoice!"

He, then, pointed the gun at the shocked rookie regular. "Kukukuku…I have two years of shotgun firing experience. I can't miss now."

And, thus, that's exactly what he did. He missed.

As he fired the massive gun, Horio flew backward from the recoil. This, naturally, ruined his aim and the bullet sped past his intended target. Said projectile then lodged itself firmly in one Tezuka Kunimitsu's left arm.

"Damn it, you little bitch!" Seigaku's captain screeched in agony. "My arm had finally freaking healed, and you just had to goddamn ruin it."

At the moment, however, these words didn't penetrate Horio's skull. The psychotic freshman was racing toward Ryoma at a surprisingly speedy rate. Once he arrived, Horio jumped on top of the other, unfortunate freshman. After approximately two minutes of strangling, Horio felt his victim's body lie still. He stood.

Echizen Ryoma was dead, and he couldn't be happier!

Two hours later…

Seigaku was a tomb. A tomb for one very unlucky Horio. Or, at least, it would be once the regulars caught him.

"FUCK YOU, YOU GODDAMN LITTLE BITCHING BASTARD!" Tezuka roared as he furiously searched for the boy. "That kid was going to be this team's freaking pillar of support. Now how the hell will it stay together?"

Inside a nearby closet, Horio wept at his misfortune. "Why the hell does my life suck so freaking much?"

Kachirou sighed in annoyance. "Dude, you killed Ryoma. And, you destroyed our captain's arm. What the fuck did you expect would happen?"

"I don't know," came the quiet reply, "I thought this fic would end before I even fired the gun."

The boy with the bowl-cut growled. "Katsuo, it's time."

The taller boy grinned a murderous grin. He picked Horio up and opened the closet door.

"Hey, you guys, here's the little bastard!" he yelled, attracting the attention of the regulars.

"YOSH! I'm going to punish him for killing O-chibi in cold blood!" Kikumaru Eiji cried in a sick sort of joy.

And, with that, Horio suffered the worst beating of his life. It all stopped, though, when a very not-dead Ryoma walked up.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" he asked, slightly surprised at their behavior.

"WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!" the other eight regulars yelled in confusion.

Tezuka, being the natural leader that he was, continued for the group. "Ryoma, how the fuck are you alive? We all saw Horio strangle you to death."

"What are you—Ohhh…." Ryoma replied, his eyes widening in comprehension. "Yeah, I was late to the finals because I had to help a pregnant lady get to the hospital, so I sent my custom-made stunt double to play my match."

"Right…" The regulars started to feel nervous.

"Oh my god," Oishi whispered, turning to the blob that had once been Horio, "guys, I think we messed up here."

"Yeah…." came the collective reply. The regulars, as one, began to back away from the groaning mass that was once a perfectly healthy boy. After another few steps, they turned and ran for their lives.

Horio groaned. "Owww……"

AN: Yeeahhh...It's pretty short, but I'll add things as I get inspiration. I'm really only doing this to lighten my mood after writing bits for Pillars of Support. Before anyone asks, I have no idea how many 'days' there will be in this fic. However, I will use any ideas that you guys suggest.

So, review and tell me what I did or didn't do wrong. See ya in the next chapter!