I don't wanna fight
Roman was sitting in the living room of his home watching his daughter play with her dolls. He couldn't believe everything that has happened in the last six months. He lost his wife and mother of his daughter to a drunk driver, he was just glad that Joelle walked away with nothing wrong except for the fact she watched her mother die. Then he got into a huge fight with his family over him continuing with his career instead of retiring to take care of his daughter. But he took a few months off to get everything in order and to be with his daughter who told him he wasn't allowed to quit. She wanted to go on the road with him and get home schooled so he didn't have to give up on his dream. She loved watching her father in the ring just as much as he loved being there.
Then the worst thing of all he has lost his other brother to his demons. He hasn't talked to Dean in almost three months because of something that Dean did. He was trying his best to help him get past losing his wife. But as he was slowly getting their Dean admitted to him that he only wants the best for him and Jo, and he knew that it wasn't the right time but he has to tell him something. And before he could say anything Dean had leaned in and kissed him. Roman felt the anger start to rise up in said as he pushed him back and started to yell at him. Roman remembered it all to well as if it has happened just yesterday.
Flashback
Roman had just put Jo to bed and walked back down stairs to find his best friend and brother. Dean had been there every step of the way and was a huge reason that he and Jo have made it through these last three months. Dean was in the kitchen cleaning up the dinner dishes giving father and daughter some time. Roman watched as Dean was putting everything away he turned to clean the counter and saw Roman standing there.
"You ok? Shit don't answer that stupid question." Dean said as he put his head down and started shaking in disbelief that he said that.
"No, it's a valid question and yes I am as ok as I can be, I mean I think I am finally getting use to the fact that Gia is gone, yeah it still hurts but I am good. What tears me up is every night putting her to bed and her crying for mommy." Roman said as he sat on the stool and looked at Dean as he finished what he was doing and sat in the other stool. Reaching out Dean placed his hand on to Roman and gave it a squeeze.
"I know what you mean she asked me earlier if her mom is watching over her and you, and I told he that no matter what her mother is always with you both, all you have to do is look into your heart. She then hugged me and cried a little but I rubbed her back and told her that no matter what that you would always be there for her and so would I. That no matter what she was family to me and I'll always be there." Dean said as Roman wiped a few tears that threatened to fall.
"Thank you for being here for us both I don't know what I would have done without you. I love you man." Roman said as he pulled Dean into a hug. Dean wrapped his arms around him holding him tightly Roman pulled back to see something change in Dean's moods. "You ok?"
Dean got up and walked to the sliding glass door and stood there trying to hide the emotion that was trying seep through. Roman watched as Dean just stood there he could see the way he stood that something was wrong.
"Yeah it's nothing just me dealing with some things." Dean said
"Come on D you are my best friend talk to me maybe I can help?" Roman said as
"Na it good, you have so much going on you don't need this on top." Dean said
"It'll be a great distraction." Roman said as he placed his hand on Dean's shoulders and he felt him shiver and shrug his hand off.
"Ro man I can't it's not right to dump this on you, I'll deal with on my own." Dean said
"No, we are brothers and you can tell me anything." Roman said as Dean knew that he couldn't tell him this.
"No this." Dean said as Roman was getting a little worried Dean.
"Please?" Roman asked as Dean turned and walked to his best friend who just lost his wife. Roman watched as Dean was now in his personal space and before he could say anything Dean leaned in and kissed him. Roman was shocked but he pushed Dean back as he stumbled into the counter.
"What that hell was that?" Roman yelled as Dean caught himself and Roman advanced toward him. Dean had never been afraid of Roman ever but tonight he was. Dean walked around the counter putting it between them.
"I told you to leave it alone, I'd deal with it but you pushed me." Dean said
"Pushed you my ass, you kissed me man why?" Roman yelled as he slammed his hands on the counter scaring Dean as he jumped.
"I am sorry I never wanted it to come out, you had it all a woman who loved you and a daughter who adored you and I fell in love with you. I never acted on it because you were happy. I would gladly be alone the rest of my life if you were happy. These past few months helping you and Jo these feeling kept coming up and I have been pushing them away." Dean said
"I just lost my wife and mother of my daughter and you think it's ok for you to what move in and take her place." Roman yelled as Dena shook his head.
"No, I just want to be there for you two your family." Dean said
"You have a funny way of showing it. Get out." Roman said
"Ro please." Dean started
"I said get out and stay out." Roman said as he slammed his hands down again.
"Roman I am so sorry…" Dean started again as Roman reached around and grabbed Dean's shirt and punched him knocking him to the floor.
"I said get out, you're not family not anymore, to come into my home and disrespect me and my family, were done GET OUT NOW!" Roman yelled as Dean stood up and grabbed his jacket and headed to the door. Turning around he looked at Roman again and knew that he ruined it all with his damn feeling.
"Just tell Jo I am sorry I lied." Dean said as he left the house. Roman sat down in the stool that he had abandoned when Dean kissed him.
End Flashback
Roman hadn't realized it but he has let a few tears slip as he remembered the look on Dean's face and how he had scared him. He couldn't believe that he could have done that to him after everything that they had been through what made him think that it was ok to kiss him. He had to admit that he did miss having him around and he hated to lie to Jo about everything but he couldn't handle it. He was never so happy that he and Dean were on different show it gave him time to deal with what was going on. It hadn't been easy cause he too was hiding the fact that he had feeling for Dean too. He was scared that admitting that would tarnish his love he had for Gia. But over these last three months of not talking to or even seeing the man he knew that he had feelings for him. He hadn't really slept in the past few months properly and it was starting to show both inside and outside of the ring. The only times he had ever really seen the man was when he watched smackdown, and every match he had he didn't realize it that he was holding his breath during most of it. But he was gone just like Roman had asked…no yelled at him to do. He then thought back to a few weeks ago when he had a dream about Gia, but it wasn't what he expected it to be. All he wanted to do was see her and tell her he loved her but he never got the chance for in this dream all she did was yell. He never in his life had he ever remembered any of his dreams till this one.
Dream
Roman felt the bed dip and he figured it was Jo wanted to crawl into bed with him again, she had been doing it a lot since her mother's death He slowly opened his arms waiting on her to cuddle up to him but it never came, he slowly opened his eyes as they adjusted there he saw her. The one person he had wanted to see all this time the one who he lost and never got to say good-bye too.
"Gia, is it really you?" Roman asked as all he felt was the slap. She stood up and started to pace the room like she did when she was pissed off about something.
"Yeah it's me." She said angrily "How could you?"
"How could I what, what did I do?" Roman asked
"Roman I love you, you were my world my soul mate. You gave me the greatest gifts in the world when you married me and gave me our daughter." Gia said as she stood at the bottom of the bed looking at him.
"As you are mine, you are my everything and so much more." Roman said as Gia sat at the foot of the bed and started to shake her head no.
"No, I am not, you may have been my soul mate but I am not yours, I was just a step in the right direction. For you to truly find your soul mate to give them what they had taken away from them. But you ruined it." Gia said as Roman sat up and he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Gia, I love you and only you, there is no one else." Roman said
"No not anymore because you ruined it. I did everything in my power to send them to you to get them to open up to you and how do you react you get angry and tell them to leave." Gia yelled as she was pacing yet again Roman stood up and stood in her path and stopped her.
"What are you talking about, all I ever wanted was you and only you, you are what made me happy. You and Jo were all I ever needed." Roman said
"What about family?" Gia asked
"They demanded that I quit wrestling, but Jo told me that she wanted me to stick with it that I am at my best when I am in the ring. My family couldn't understand that." Roman said
"What about your other family, your friends, and brothers, Dean" Gia said as Roman shivered at the mere mention of Dean's name.
"It me and Jo against the world. Don't need anyone else." Roman said. As Gia walked up to Roman and laid her hand on his cheek and he leaned into it. She stood on her tip toes and kissed him, Roman pulled back and instead of seeing Gia he saw Dean with a bright smile, his bright blue eyes showed nothing but love.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Roman asked
"You were my soul mate but Roman I am not yours. Since you kick him out of your life what has happened to you, you stopped sleeping, barely eating and you're in ring abilities are suffering." Gia said
"No Dean is…he's not…" Roman said as he sat on the bed and put his head into his hands. "What have I done."
"Roman he's been in love with you for years. And I saw it when I was still alive, and I even asked him about them you know what he told me." Gia asked
"No what?" Roman said
"He said that he'd rather have you as a friend/ brother then not have you at all. He promised me that he would never act on his feeling cause me and Jo made you happy and that's all that mattered. He'd rather be alone the rest of his life then try to ruin what we had. He and I had that conversation the night before our wedding." Gia said as Roman hadn't realized it but he was crying. "It's ok to love him, let him in, it why I kept sending him to you and Jo. If I can't be there for you two to love and keep you together, I knew he could, he loves you so much it's killing him. Not only did his real family abandoned him, but so did you, you had promised him that even when we married he would always be family."
"How is he?" Roman asked as Gia pointed to the TV and there it was on and on screen was Dean sitting in his living room with a bottle of Jack, he looked like hell.
"He's considering quitting the business to much of a reminder of you. I must go it's time, I have tried to do what I thought was best for my family and that was sending you Dean, he loves you and Jo just as much as I do. I love you Roman so much but don't let him get away you and Jo need him. Believe me or not but he is your soul mate." Gia said a she kissed his cheek and she disappeared.
End Dream
"Daddy are you ok, your crying?" Jo asked as he got up on the couch next to him, he reached out and pulled her close to him.
"No baby, I am not." Roman said as Jo smiled as she hugged her dad.
"I miss him too, He wasn't mommy but he made us both happy. I miss Uncle Dean." Jo said as Roman was surprised that she knew he meant Dean and not her mother.
"How do you know that I was thinking about Dean and not your mother?" Roman asked as the little girl looked at her father and smiled
"I have been dreaming about mommy and she came to me telling me that she was sending Uncle Dean to make you happy again that He loved you like she did. But you were so angry and sent him away." Jo said
"Why haven't you said anything to me about missing him?" Roman said as Jo was scared to tell her dad the truth.
"I didn't want to hear you yell at me the way you yelled at him the night he left and never came back." Jo said as Roman never realized that she had heard the whole thing. He pulled his little girl into his arms and held her tightly as they both cried.
"Honey I am so sorry I made him leave. I was so angry about losing your mother, I didn't see that she was pushing me and Uncle Dean together. And yes, he does love me and you know what I love him too. I'll try and fix it this weekend at WrestleMania." Roman said
"Ok Daddy, and just so you know I am ok with having another Dad he's like one now. He loved me just as fierce and much as you do." Jo said
"Yes, he does baby, and I'll fix everything I promise." Roman said as he and Jo went to their room to pack for their trip to WrestleMania was this week and both brands were going to be there and the perfect time to speak to Dean. As he packed he clicked on the radio and there was a song playing that was so perfect.
I can't sleep,
everything i ever knew,
Is a lie,
without you,
I can't breathe,
when my heart is broke in two,
There's no beat,
without you,
You're not gone,
but you're not here,
At least that's the way it seems tonight,
If we could try to end these wars,
I know that we can make it right,
cause baby,
I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,
I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,
How can I leave,
when everything that I adore,
and everything I'm living for,
Girl, it's in you,
I can't dream,
sleepless nights have got me bad,
The only dream i ever had,
is being with you,
I know that we can make it right,
It's gonna take a little time,
Lets not leave ourselves with no way out,
lets not cross that line,(that line)
I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,
I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,
Remember that i made a vow,
that i would never let you go,
I meant it then, I mean it now,
and i want to tell you so,
I don't wanna fight no more, (oh no)
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,
I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
(can we start)
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more...
I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for, (oh yeah)
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
(my heart)
won't let me be apart from you,
I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
(I'm hoping)
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more...
It's all a lie,
Without you,
without you...