AN: So this hit me out of nowhere. How about I base Janna stories in songs? Because why not? The story is better if you have a song to listen to. Especially the angst. It can tear your heart out and rip it to pieces.
Note to Self: Hide the Taylor Swift albums in a box and put it where your sad self could never get a hold of it.
Did someone say angst? Okay let's do it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Rise of the Guardians, Frozen or any of the characters used in the story.
She can't see the way your eyes
Light up when you smile.
She'll never notice how you stop and stare
Whenever she walks by.
I opened my locker and stared at the stickers on the back of the latch. It lined the sides with optimistic words like, 'You can do it!', 'You're awesome!', 'Say no to drugs'. I didn't know where the last one came from.
I grabbed my textbooks and took my time putting them in my bag one at a time. They're perfect to rest your arms on when you want to take a nap at the back of the class. Studying is overrated.
"Hey, how's my favorite red head doing?" My heart skipped a beat and I quickly spun around knowing full well the sight that would greet me.
"Jack! Hi! Doing good. Yep! I mean I'm fine, fine. Whatever." I tried to act casual to cover up my excitement. On seeing you. Apparently, it works due to the fact that you haven't called me out yet.
You laughed and just muss my hair. You can't really muss it due to the pigtails. "Anna you're so cute."
Warmth filled my whole being for the compliment. "Yes, I am. And don't you forget it."
A smile graced your face followed by a chuckle. Pearly white teeth peeked over pink lips. Pink kissable lips. Cobalt blue eyes would glow everytime you smile. Or maybe that's just me. And my adoration for you.
"Yep and adorable too. Though I think I should stop with the compliments. I think your ego just got a lot bigger."
"What? No! Whatever shall I do without your compliments? Oh no! Get real, Jack." I muttered sarcastically. Although, it would be very disappointing if you do stop.
"Sarcastic, are we? Well if I-" Curiosity prompted me to glance at your form to find out what made you stop. I followed your gaze and I couldn't stop the derisive scoff that came out.
Of course. There she is. The it girl. The object of your infatuation and unrequited affections. The focus of my jealousy and misplaced anger. My sister.
I watch you stare at her longingly and lovingly as she passed us by without even giving you a glance. Hell, she didn't even glance at me. I'm her sister for crying out loud! A simple greeting would be nice.
You sighed and leaned your back against the lockers with an adoring and whimsical look on your face.
Suddenly, you whipped your head back and forth searching for god knows what. Then, you glanced down at my hands. Worry written all over your face.
I glanced down and gaped at my left hand. I just snapped my pencil. Great. I forgot my sharpener in my house due to the malfunctioning alarm clock. And my marathon of superhero movies. Deadpool has been ignored long enough.
I hung my head defeated. Then, something poked my cheek. I glanced at the intruding object and to my surprise, it's a pencil. Currently being held by you. And poking me.
"You could borrow mine. I have tons of this. Does collecting discarded pencils weird?"
I shook my head and took it. "No. I think that's practical and thrifty. Unless, you're using it for other purposes then that makes it weird."
The bell rang. "And that's my cue. Catch you later, alligator."
"You too red Rover. Give some chocolates, over."
"Ha! Fat chance."
And you can't see me wantin' you the way
you want her
But you are everything to me.
Olaf is talking to himself again. He likes doing that. I kept poking the meatball in my spaghetti if you could call this grub food.
I dare not to eat it cause the fork kept bouncing back. My guess is that it has the same elasticity of rubber. And meatballs are not suppose to be elastic.
I started searching for your iconic white hair and your trademark sweatshirt. Again.
I turned my attention back to the meatball. If I drop it, would it bounce?
"Isn't that Jack over there with Elsa?" Olaf pointed behind me.
I quickly whipped my head around and there you are. Smiling and chatting. From where I'm sitting, I can see that it's one-sided. Typical of Elsa. Her cool composure and indifferent façade is in place. She gives you curt nods, hands folded on her lap, and one foot on the ready for the incoming departure. She'll give you an excuse like doing some school work and whatnot then stand up and walk away. Like with me. Everytime I try to engage her in a friendly and sisterly talk.
As you stare longingly at her retreating form, I can clearly see the cadence of your eyes dimmed by sadness and rejection.
How many times have I look dejected like that? The failure of having kinship and rebuilding that sisterly bond will cause a pang in my heart and dejection will be nipping on my heels throughout the whole day.
Then anger bit at the back of my mind. She can do that to me anytime she wants. She had done it so many times I grew immune my heart hardening and the despondency is easier to shrug off as time pass by.
So why can't I shrug off the pang in my heart inflicted by your ignorance? Of my affections? You're so oblivious, don't you know that?
A gloom has taken over your entire being. I wanna go over to you and give you a hug. Wanting to bring you back to your jovial mischievous self. I find it more pleasing than your current emotional front. Don't get me wrong. You're still as handsome as ever.
We can both heal from the affliction that is my sister. And someday maybe I might be one of the reasons for your eyes to be incandescent.
"So how long have you had a thing for white hair and sweatshirts?"
"Huh?" I pivoted my body going back to my original position. Facing Olaf.
He rolled his eyes. "Oh come on now. Don't play dumb. Your so obvious, you know?"
My face turned red as my hair. "What?"
A smile played at his lips. "They say that a blush is the body's reaction when one is honest or guilty in an embarrassing situation."
I can feel my face getting redder.
He laughed at my vexation. "Oh my, Anna. You're so easy to tease."
"Shut up!" I hissed at him. Because really. I couldn't think of anything else to retort.
His laughter continued for a few more seconds. He appeared to have calmed down a bit.
"So Jack, huh? I always thought you'll go after Hans. Since you know, you always say that his eyes are dreamy."
"I guess I just like blue more." Hans eyes maybe what princes of fairytale posses, but Jack's eyes are cobalt pools. Submerging me everytime I look at them. A pervasive warmth would start at my scalp and would trickle to my spine leaving me giddy and breathless.
"So, when are you gonna tell him?"
"What? Oh, no! There is no telling him."
"But, you like him!" Confusion is painted all over his face.
"Yeah, but he like someone else." I tried to keep put the bitterness from my voice. But by the look Olaf is giving me, it's futile.
"And don't even think of telling him! Olaf, promise me." I leaned down at him. My eyes portraying my desperate plea. He looks conflicted.
"Please." He sighed.
"Fine. But don't you wanna know if he likes you back?"
"Trust me when I say this, Olaf. He doesn't."
I popped the meatball into my mouth. I feel like a dog chewing a rubber ball. I looked behind my shoulders hoping to get a glimpse of you again. And you're gone. Probably went after Elsa.
I spent the whole lunch period with Olaf looking at me weirdly and being miserable.
I just wanna show you
She don't even know you,
She's never gonna love you like I want to.
And you just see right through me.
If you only knew me
We could be a beautiful
Miracle,
Unbelievable
Instead of just invisible.
"Okay, what if I give her flowers? Does she like flowers?" I heaved a sigh as you blabber on and on about impressing my sister. We're at some diner in Arendelle. You're already at your second year of college. And I'm still in high school. You followed my sister here. You went in the same college as her. Your determination is astounding.
Your earlier suggestions are just infeasible and ridiculous. Heart shaped confetti (good luck with that), treasure hunt (she'll ignore the first clue and pass it off as a prank), writing her a song (please don't. You might kindle some affection in her heart with that smooth, baritone voice of yours. I can't have that happening), and now this. She'll just throw it in the trash.
"Anna, come on! Help me out here." I finally faced you. I must have really pulled off the bored expression because concern hasn't shown in your face.
Do you know what you're doing to me? Why do you keep saying these things to my face? Isn't it enough that my heart is in ribbons? Do you need to pulverize it? Oh, silly me. Of course you don't know!
"Jack, how many years have passed since you first started this? How many years have you been in love" I stopped my self from gritting my teeth " with Elsa."
The confounded look on your face says it all. From the furrowing of your brows I can tell that you're counting and reminiscing.
"Since we were kids. First grade. It was her birthday. Everyone got a piece of cake. Except me. I think I got upset and left early because of that. Then the next morning in class, she came to me with a tupperware. She presented it to me looking very apologetic. I opened it and it was cake. Her piece of cake. We ate it together. Since then, I knew she was the one."
Really? What the hell? A piece of cake? You couldn't be more shallow?
I must have looked really peeved and confounded because you quickly amended it.
"It's not just kindness. I gotta admit it's one of the factors. She's just, uhm, selfless, thoughtful, smart, beautiful, and so much more. I guess my feelings never changed."
All of those things are correct but thoughtful? She couldn't even greet me on my birthday.
"So you could say that I'm an idiot for chasing her this long." No, I don't think your an idiot. You just gave your heart to the wrong girl.
Maybe, you just have to abandon your hopeless endeavour and look around for a bit. Many people would want your love. Like the girl sitting across from you perhaps?
"Crocuses."
"Huh?"
"She likes crocuses. Especially the white and the purple ones." Your breathtaking smile brought warmth throughout my chest and a twinge of pain because I'm not the cause of it. Okay, I am the cause of it because I told you her favorite flowers but you know what I mean.
"Thanks Anna. I knew I love you for a reason."
Hope and euphoria flared up inside me. But it was quickly dampened by reason. Knowing you meant it platonically.
"Yeah, don't mention it." Because sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
Hopefully, Elsa would go easy on you.
There's a fire inside of you
That can't help but shine through.
She's never gonna see the light
No matter what you do.
Tooth would go ballistic over this. But, meh, what the hell. It's a fried milky way.
"So wanna ride the rollercoaster again?"
I've noticed that you've been down lately. The reason was so obvious really.
"No, I think I might puke. I think I left my soul back at the swaying boat ride. We really shouldn't have sat at the back. Besides, let's enjoy the fried milky way first."
So Elsa started dating Dylan. Maybe you should just take the hint that she's never gonna love you.
"Anna you're so weak."
"Shut up."
You moped around for a week. I haven't seen you around campus. You better not let this affect your grades.
After enduring another week, of not seeing your gorgeous being, I banged on your door. I think everyone in your dorm was glaring at me for the ruckus but screw them. You're depressed. I dragged your sorry ass out of the bed, told you to take a shower, shamelessly ogled your packs and towel clad glory (why can't this be porn? The softcore kind where you and me will get it on.), and brought you to an amusement park.
"Oh look, Anna. Sunflowers!"
I mean seriously, Elsa is just one girl. There's plenty of other fishes in the sea. And someone is swimming right beside you.
Come on! You're already graduating college and you haven't had one girlfriend. Tooth was so willing but then she gave up and went after Aster. Why can't you just-
"For you."
"Huh?"
A big sunflower in my face. I accepted it. You are beaming so widely that I started grinning.
"Your favorite."
"How did you know?"
You shrugged those broad shoulders. Over the years, you've build up some muscles. They always have me fantasizing. Running my hands all over them as they contract and relax.
"I pay attention to people. Bunny likes carrots, Tooth's favorite flower is the bird of paradise, and you like sunflowers."
I couldn't care less about the first two but I think I should be concerned about my heart going at a 60 mile per hour run. And my face and neck burning up.
"Wanna ride the Ferris wheel?" Just the two of us secluded up in the air? Me pretending to be afraid of heights? Hell fucking yes.
And all I think about is how to make you
think of me
And everything that we could be
I took stock on the cosmetic products in my vanity. Blush on here, mascara there, and lipsticks everywhere. Not really I just have a lot of lipsticks. And I'm bored. Looking at the edges of the mirror seems good. It's better than staring at the mirror.
Mocking me everytime I look at it. Emulating my pigtails and freckles and everything that I hate about myself.
Cute, adorable Anna.
That's all I'll ever be.
Not beautiful, mysterious, or any of those.
That's all you can see.
Jack? I've been wondering after all these years. Have you seen me in a new light? Now that I started losing the pigtails?
I finally perfected the bun Elsa always wears. Sure it took a thousand tries to perfect it but as long as you notice, right?
Now, should I apply the pink eyeshadow too?
Like shadows in a faded light
Oh, we're invisible.
I just wanna open your eyes
And make you realize.
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. I'm really doubting that saying now.
I just sent you off to be humiliated and get your heart crushed by a ten wheeler truck. You are roadkill.
You went off in your merry way never knowing what you are getting yourself into.
Maybe this is wrong. I should call you. To save yourself the agony.
I dialed your number and held my phone to my ear. You won't answer.
I never should have sent you in my steed. I should've just went there and swallow my pride. But why go there? After years of cold shoulders and closed doors? What is there to not feel awkward about? Hell, we're not even friends.
I grabbed the keys to my car. Since you won't answer your phone, I have to search the whole Burgess for you. Hopefully, I can locate you after you crash and burn.
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Or in my case, be cruel to the love of your life for your own selfish ends.
I just wanna show you
She don't even know you.
Baby, let me love you,
Let me want you.
"I thought I'd find you here." I plopped down beside you. You just grunted and stared on to the waters of the lake.
It's a full moon tonight. The moonlight strikes the surface of the water that is constantly rippled by the wind. It's a romantic setting. But the atmosphere is not.
"It didn't go well, huh?" He gave a harsh laugh at that.
"Yeah, well, maybe you should've told me it was her engagement party. I think her finance is going to rip me apart." I winced.
The silence prevailed and is charged with anger. Rightfully so because I'm such a bitch.
It felt like ages before you spoke again.
"Why?"
I kept quiet knowing full well the meaning behind that single word.
"So now you won't answer me. After all we've been through together, you'd do this to me?"
The accusation cuts at my heart.
"Because, I think it's high time you stop. It's hopeless. Your situation. Hell, you should've have stopped years ago." I managed to keep my voice even.
"It's not your position to tell me what I have to do."
"Well, someone has to. We all have been telling you." Aster, Tooth, Jamie, me, and all of the others.
"It's my life, Anna!"
"Why are you such a numbskull?! She'll never love you!" My voice cracked and I can feel the tears threatening to spill.
"I don't care! You should've just, I don't know, leave me be!" Are you fucking serious?!
"You couldn't just keep holding on to that fantasy, Jack! There are others who you can love!" You gave that harsh laugh again.
"And who do you suggest? Huh? You?"
"Yes!" The dam finally broke. I can feel the sadness, the anger, and the pain I suppressed all these years come up in a strike.
I almost laughed at the confusion in your handsome face.
The tears fell rapidly from my eyes. I can feel my browse are furrowed with anger and accusation.
"You never see me, Jack! I made my feelings so blatantly obvious. Hell, I almost threw it in your face." Uncontrollable sobs escaped my throat and I couldn't look away from your questioning eyes.
"Your so busy trying to make Elsa notice you. But what has Elsa ever did to you?
I am always there for you. I never left your side. So shouldn't I be the one?" I stop at what I am saying and laughed.
I can see that you're concerned. I think you should be.
"You know? It's funny. We both got our hearts broken tonight. Both invisibles trying to make the other see. Hoping to be seen. But we both learned something tonight. We should've stayed invisible."
"Anna-"
"No, no, no. Don't. I think it's time that I leave. Goodnight, Jack."
"Anna, wait!"
I ran back to the parking lot. I didn't know why I didn't get a speeding ticket but I'm pretty sure I drove faster than the speed limit.
The sobs kept coming and my pillows and my blanket are already soiled with tears and snot. God, I must have looked like a mess.
I poured out all my grief. You probably don't want to see me right now. You probably don't wanna see me ever. Hell, I don't wanna see me right now.
I feel really embarrassed. Why? Why did I let my emotions dictate my actions? That was stupid. I'm so stupid. I want the ground to swallow me up so I don't have to deal with this anymore.
So all night I cried. Longing for that love that was ways meant for another. It feels weird being finally seen.
She can't see the way your eyes
Light up when you smile.
AN: That's the first drabble. I shouldn't have started with angst. What do you think? Too much or too weak? Actually I have another ending in mind for this story but then I thought angst should be angst. There are no happy endings. It's first day of the semester. And my schedule is still fucked up for some reason. I should be getting started for my Biochemistry assignment but this story is long overdue.So I'm gonna take requests through reviews. If I like the song and I'm not too busy, I'll write.Anyway, reviews and constructive criticism is awesome but flames no.