Final Fantasy: News
*2 years have passes since Sephiroth farted and blew up the moon.... And Kuja is a gay piece of #%&...WHO WROTE THIS*
Squall: *snickering*
*Sigh**2 years have passes since (Fart) Sephiroth summoned Meteor and the gang destroyed it (GODZILLA) peace has returned the the once humble (PASTA) world, Shinra has re-risen and (TURKEY) is now making news programs around the FFVII, VIII, IX world, the heroes and villains from those 3 world have (POOPIE) been hired to run the news program (BUTTWEEP)
And also (psssss) CLOUD IF YOU SCRIBBLE ONE MORE STUPID WORD INTO MY PROLUGE I WILL RIP OUT YOUR HAIR WHITE TONGE*
---------------------------------------------------T.V comes to life-------- ------------------------------------------------
*Giant Shinra logo appears with the words 'Today's News' flashing underneath them, Cloud and Tifa are sitting at a desk, which is filled with paper*
Tifa: Hello, I'm Tifa Lockhart
Cloud: And I'm a turkey *sticks out tongue*
Tifa: *Annoyed Look* Anyway, In today's news a giant fire is raging in the Shinra Mansion, countless of items have been lost, we now cross over to Vincent Valentine, who is at the Mansion in Nibelhiem
*Vincent Appears on screen*
Vincent: I'm here at the Shinra Mansion were fires have been going on for several hours, I'm going to interview on of the residents
Sephiroth Clone #2: Gre..at…..Sephi…roth…is near
Vincent: *worried look on his face* None of the residents care about the fires because they are all brainwashed idiots that are looking for a retard in a black cape
Tifa: How did the fires start
Vincent: We don't know, but we believe that Yuffie is the cause since she is trying to get out of the mansion without us seeing her
*Camera Aims on Yuffie*
Yuffie: Sh*t, I DIDN'T DO IT *Hides flame-thrower, pulls out a gun and shoots camera*
Tifa: Ok then, Cloud over to you
Cloud: *Pretending his hand is a plane* Brmmmmmmmm *Notices that camera is on him* Oh sh*t, anyway, in related news, A Plane his crashed in the worst place possible, we cross over to Squall Leonheart
*Camera crosses to Squall, who is at Balamb Garden*
Squall: I am here at Balamb Garden were a 747 jumbo jet as lodged itself up my ass
Rinoa: *In Background* MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Squall: Anyway, yes none of the 2000 people were hurt, and if you excuse me, I'm gonna go see a chiropractor *Limps off towards his car* (Don't ask me how he is gonna fit a 747 in his car)
Cloud: Very *Snicker* interesting
Tifa: It has been 4 months since Kuja traveled of to the Mist Continent, let's check up on him
*Camera shows Kuja laughing Demonically as he shoots energyballs at Alexandria, he's shouting something about $1 off hamburgers at McDonalds*
Cloud: *O.O!* Creepy stuff, now to the cover story, Irvine Kinneas is one of the world hottest young stars, here he is in a interview with our reporter 'Cait Sith'
Cait Sith: So, Irvine , tell us about your new movie
Irvine: Its called, Irvine: The Movie its about me when I was at Galbadia Garden, Edea came at tried to take it, but I stood up to her, here is a clip of the scene
*Clips shows Irvine trying to have sex with a chicken*
Irvine: (O.O!) Wrong one, here we go
*Clip starts, Edea and Irvine are standing infront of Galbadia garden*
Edea: NOW I WILL TAKE OVER THE GARDEN MWAH HA HA HA
*Boom box can be clearly seen from the top corner of the screen*
Irvine: Not so fast
Edea: *Now in slow motion* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Irvine: YES *pulls dramatic pose as camera zooms in…..a bit too far, we can now see up Irvine's nose*
*Clip Ends*
Cait Sith: What Genre is it
Irvine: Horror
Cait Sith: *Mumbling* I can see why
Irvine: It is also the cheapest movie ever produced
Cait: How much did it cost
Irvine: 673095674986796976867986756456436456454 gill, unlike the most expensive movie, Titanic 2
Cait: How much was that?
Irvine: 673095674986796976867986756456436456455 gill
Cait: But that's only one gill more
Irvine: I KNOW, IT'S A RIP OFF
Cait: Right?!
Irvine: I DID NOT HUMP THAT CHICKEN
Cait: *Confused* I never said you did
Irvine: You're against me, you all are *jumps out window and plummets 50 stories to his death in a trash compactor*
Cait: *Looks at camera with a sad and scared look*
Tifa: Irvine has just died, who cares, in related news, the great fighter Seifer has just passed away, well show you his grave
*Camera shows Seifers grave, low mumbling noises can be heard under the ground and Sephiroth laughing can be clearly heard*
Sephiroth: Seifer has just died, Heh heh heh
Tifa: But we can here him
Sephiroth: *Points to another part of the ground* No, that's Yuffie your hearing, Seifer shut up hours ago…oops *Slashes Camera with Masamune*
Tifa: AH SCREW IT, just go to the weather report
*Barret appears on screen with a map of the FFVII world behind him*
Barret: The weather in Midgar is gonna be #%&%ing hot with degrees of 575057430, thanks to Meteor stuck in suspended animation, stupid Holy and that $%($ Aeris
-Weather in Nibelhiem is expected to get really hot as a volcano has just appeared
Vincent: *In background* MY HOME, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Barret: Anyway, Rocket town is set for cold temperatures since it's gonna be the first location of the new Ice Age which will enventualy kill us all *smiles*
Tifa: Say Barret, when did you become the weatherman, where Aeris?
Barret: Erm…..um……duh *starts sweating*
Soldier: We found Aeris in the change room, gagged and nearly killed to death (O.o?)
Tifa: GET HIM, SHOOT HIM
*Giant words appear on screen saying 'Due to Technical Difficulties, Shinra new will not finish to night, please enjoy our feature long screening of Chickens and Irvine'*
*Credits roll as movies of Irvine humping chickens airs on T.V*
---------------------------------------------------------Epilogue----------- -------------------------------------------------
-Cloud was put into a mental institution after thinking he was superman…broken arm and shattered ego
-Tifa became one of the world greatest bouncers
-Barret was put into a jail cell for life, which was filled with many gay men O.O! *shudders*
-Sephiroth kept on laughing as he buried more people in the ground while they were alive
-Vincent mourned the destruction of the Shinra Mansion, even though he hated it and wanted it destroyed in the first place
-Squall never got that plane out of his butt, is still being teased
-Rinoa laughed herself to death –see above-
-Irvine…….may he rest in small cube shaped pieces
-Cait Sith ended up joining the Turks as a punching bag for Reno, many bruises followed
- Aeris and Everyone Else Died –see Sephiroth epilogue-
---------------------------------------------------THE END------------------ --------------------------------------------
Please review this story, it may be unoriginal…but it would be nice to read some reviews
*2 years have passes since Sephiroth farted and blew up the moon.... And Kuja is a gay piece of #%&...WHO WROTE THIS*
Squall: *snickering*
*Sigh**2 years have passes since (Fart) Sephiroth summoned Meteor and the gang destroyed it (GODZILLA) peace has returned the the once humble (PASTA) world, Shinra has re-risen and (TURKEY) is now making news programs around the FFVII, VIII, IX world, the heroes and villains from those 3 world have (POOPIE) been hired to run the news program (BUTTWEEP)
And also (psssss) CLOUD IF YOU SCRIBBLE ONE MORE STUPID WORD INTO MY PROLUGE I WILL RIP OUT YOUR HAIR WHITE TONGE*
---------------------------------------------------T.V comes to life-------- ------------------------------------------------
*Giant Shinra logo appears with the words 'Today's News' flashing underneath them, Cloud and Tifa are sitting at a desk, which is filled with paper*
Tifa: Hello, I'm Tifa Lockhart
Cloud: And I'm a turkey *sticks out tongue*
Tifa: *Annoyed Look* Anyway, In today's news a giant fire is raging in the Shinra Mansion, countless of items have been lost, we now cross over to Vincent Valentine, who is at the Mansion in Nibelhiem
*Vincent Appears on screen*
Vincent: I'm here at the Shinra Mansion were fires have been going on for several hours, I'm going to interview on of the residents
Sephiroth Clone #2: Gre..at…..Sephi…roth…is near
Vincent: *worried look on his face* None of the residents care about the fires because they are all brainwashed idiots that are looking for a retard in a black cape
Tifa: How did the fires start
Vincent: We don't know, but we believe that Yuffie is the cause since she is trying to get out of the mansion without us seeing her
*Camera Aims on Yuffie*
Yuffie: Sh*t, I DIDN'T DO IT *Hides flame-thrower, pulls out a gun and shoots camera*
Tifa: Ok then, Cloud over to you
Cloud: *Pretending his hand is a plane* Brmmmmmmmm *Notices that camera is on him* Oh sh*t, anyway, in related news, A Plane his crashed in the worst place possible, we cross over to Squall Leonheart
*Camera crosses to Squall, who is at Balamb Garden*
Squall: I am here at Balamb Garden were a 747 jumbo jet as lodged itself up my ass
Rinoa: *In Background* MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Squall: Anyway, yes none of the 2000 people were hurt, and if you excuse me, I'm gonna go see a chiropractor *Limps off towards his car* (Don't ask me how he is gonna fit a 747 in his car)
Cloud: Very *Snicker* interesting
Tifa: It has been 4 months since Kuja traveled of to the Mist Continent, let's check up on him
*Camera shows Kuja laughing Demonically as he shoots energyballs at Alexandria, he's shouting something about $1 off hamburgers at McDonalds*
Cloud: *O.O!* Creepy stuff, now to the cover story, Irvine Kinneas is one of the world hottest young stars, here he is in a interview with our reporter 'Cait Sith'
Cait Sith: So, Irvine , tell us about your new movie
Irvine: Its called, Irvine: The Movie its about me when I was at Galbadia Garden, Edea came at tried to take it, but I stood up to her, here is a clip of the scene
*Clips shows Irvine trying to have sex with a chicken*
Irvine: (O.O!) Wrong one, here we go
*Clip starts, Edea and Irvine are standing infront of Galbadia garden*
Edea: NOW I WILL TAKE OVER THE GARDEN MWAH HA HA HA
*Boom box can be clearly seen from the top corner of the screen*
Irvine: Not so fast
Edea: *Now in slow motion* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Irvine: YES *pulls dramatic pose as camera zooms in…..a bit too far, we can now see up Irvine's nose*
*Clip Ends*
Cait Sith: What Genre is it
Irvine: Horror
Cait Sith: *Mumbling* I can see why
Irvine: It is also the cheapest movie ever produced
Cait: How much did it cost
Irvine: 673095674986796976867986756456436456454 gill, unlike the most expensive movie, Titanic 2
Cait: How much was that?
Irvine: 673095674986796976867986756456436456455 gill
Cait: But that's only one gill more
Irvine: I KNOW, IT'S A RIP OFF
Cait: Right?!
Irvine: I DID NOT HUMP THAT CHICKEN
Cait: *Confused* I never said you did
Irvine: You're against me, you all are *jumps out window and plummets 50 stories to his death in a trash compactor*
Cait: *Looks at camera with a sad and scared look*
Tifa: Irvine has just died, who cares, in related news, the great fighter Seifer has just passed away, well show you his grave
*Camera shows Seifers grave, low mumbling noises can be heard under the ground and Sephiroth laughing can be clearly heard*
Sephiroth: Seifer has just died, Heh heh heh
Tifa: But we can here him
Sephiroth: *Points to another part of the ground* No, that's Yuffie your hearing, Seifer shut up hours ago…oops *Slashes Camera with Masamune*
Tifa: AH SCREW IT, just go to the weather report
*Barret appears on screen with a map of the FFVII world behind him*
Barret: The weather in Midgar is gonna be #%&%ing hot with degrees of 575057430, thanks to Meteor stuck in suspended animation, stupid Holy and that $%($ Aeris
-Weather in Nibelhiem is expected to get really hot as a volcano has just appeared
Vincent: *In background* MY HOME, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Barret: Anyway, Rocket town is set for cold temperatures since it's gonna be the first location of the new Ice Age which will enventualy kill us all *smiles*
Tifa: Say Barret, when did you become the weatherman, where Aeris?
Barret: Erm…..um……duh *starts sweating*
Soldier: We found Aeris in the change room, gagged and nearly killed to death (O.o?)
Tifa: GET HIM, SHOOT HIM
*Giant words appear on screen saying 'Due to Technical Difficulties, Shinra new will not finish to night, please enjoy our feature long screening of Chickens and Irvine'*
*Credits roll as movies of Irvine humping chickens airs on T.V*
---------------------------------------------------------Epilogue----------- -------------------------------------------------
-Cloud was put into a mental institution after thinking he was superman…broken arm and shattered ego
-Tifa became one of the world greatest bouncers
-Barret was put into a jail cell for life, which was filled with many gay men O.O! *shudders*
-Sephiroth kept on laughing as he buried more people in the ground while they were alive
-Vincent mourned the destruction of the Shinra Mansion, even though he hated it and wanted it destroyed in the first place
-Squall never got that plane out of his butt, is still being teased
-Rinoa laughed herself to death –see above-
-Irvine…….may he rest in small cube shaped pieces
-Cait Sith ended up joining the Turks as a punching bag for Reno, many bruises followed
- Aeris and Everyone Else Died –see Sephiroth epilogue-
---------------------------------------------------THE END------------------ --------------------------------------------
Please review this story, it may be unoriginal…but it would be nice to read some reviews