"Woman, you look like you've been mauled by a bear..." Ino was swirling her drink and looking suspiciously at her best friend's disheveled state.

"Nope, it was worse." Sakura was frowning making her eyebags all the more visible. She messed with her collar, trying to get it to stay still and not slid down.

"Do tell, forehead."

"Not before drowning that shot, pig." She raised and glass and gulped it down in one shot.

"Now talk." Ino was tapping her nails against the glass and took a sip.

"So, I didn't wake up at home."

"You decided to visit mother nature?"

"Shut up." Sakura gave a slight slap on her hand but even that was enough to make her hiss in pain.

"Dammit, forehead! Control your strength!"

"You think those fucking unimaginably atrocious wrinkles on my clothes are due to a simple night outside?! No! They came from nowhere! I want them to come from nowhere!" Sakura was ready to cry.

"..."

"I woke up in a queen sized bed!"*sniff*"It was comfy but there were two men in it."

Ino's eyes bulged out of her sockets and she dropped her drink before gaping at her chaste friend.

"Wut?"

"Wee weere all naaked." Sakura's tears were already coming out. She asked for another shot and down it like a boss, before taking another one.

"Oh?"

"I can't, I can't face them anymore...I'm doomed. And you know what? That's not the worst!"

"You lost your virginity?"

"..."

"You did!" Ino got up from her seat to order another shot." Congrats my friend! Welcome to the adult world!" Sakura ignored that part.

"I tried to leave without waking them up, you know. Without anyone noticing me." Ino sat back down and waited for the rest."They're too skillful, they woke up and then the door opened...and their uncle just gave me that stare..."

"That stare?" WTF? The uncle? That gotta be harsh.

"Like he witnessed everything from the beginning! And then they just smirked like it was going out of style! While I was naked!"Sakura slammed another glass." I got drunk like mad so I don't remember anything! And you know what?! It hurts! I'm sitting right now next to you but in my head I'm swearing like a sailor and it fucking throbs like shit!" I can't move my thighs without crying in pain and my *bip* is hurting so bad!"

"Sakura? Stop drinking."

"Noooo! I want to drown in my sorrows!" She wailed and took her tenth shot.

"Stop!" Ino was struggling against her friend's monstrous strength to make her let go of the damn bottle." Or else it'll happen! Again!" That stopped Sakura right in her tracks. She stopped fighting her friend and handed over the bottle.

"Good girl." Ino proceeded to give it back to the bartender. She sat back." Now you gonna tell your bestie who you banged." Ino had a sudden revelation."Ah no wait, your *** hurts? Where else?"

"My ***..."

"On my fucking god! You lost it like-with-nnn-ooohhh."

"Yeah, oooohhh." Sakura's voice came out all squeaky and her face was heating up.

"WHO."

"mmdfkefgjnk."

"Sakura."

"..."

"TALK."

Sakura stood up and bonked her head against her friend's. She didn't pay attention to the pained groan and whispered to her ear.

"Uch-ch-chi-wa-wa?"

"Hnnn?"

"Ita-tachi an-and Shisui?"

"Pfffffuuu!" Ino regretting taking a gulp of alcohol and spat it all out. The liquid was dripping and some drops were dropping from her chin. What a waste.

"And their un-uncle...it-it was Ma-ma-ma-madara."

"Oh god." Ino was now regarding her friend like an alien. There was no way."Genjustu?" She used this moment to get a handkerchief and wipe the mess.

Sakura got angry and slapped her shoulder." You know I'm immune to it with Inner!"

"Goddamn raining men."

"What?"

"Hhurrum! Nothing."

They heard shouts and turned to the center of attention. It was Naruto and Sasuke. Sakura was doomed and she couldn't even run in her state.

"Ino, help me."

"I can't. You handsome teammate is giving that stare."

"I will end you."

"Well look! Now!" Ino shouted and Sakura shifted her head but Sasuke looked like usual, stuck up and ready to beat any ass that dare to cross his path. She wouldn't give herself to such a fate when she coudn't back herself up.

" ."

Meanwhile

"Brother." Izuna was watching the huge new painting in his brother's new bedroom. His old one had been destroyed after one too many attempt on his life.

"Hn?" Madara was humming which was both creepy and uncharacteristic of him.

"What's that?" Izuna pointed to the very real image of a woman's in the throws of passion although her face had been censored and her hair was magenta. There was no woman with magenta hair in the village.

"My newest creation! And limited collector piece of my porn collection!" Madara had his arms wide open and his eyes were shining with mirth.

"Why did you transform into such a pervy geezer? I'll call the hokage to get rid of it. He's the only one who can when it concerns your antics." The last sentence was muttered under his breath and he ran away at an astonishing speed.

"What? Izuna! Come back here!" He soon followed after his brother.