This is a new story, and I'm very excited about it. It might sound boring at first, but give it a chance okay?? And just so you readers know, I AM NOT IN DEPRESSION. It's an idea of what it would be like if I were. Anyhoo, if you don't like dark emo-ish shtuff, don't read on. I'm serious. I even scared myself when I proofread it. Anyhoo, I don't own anything except for my characters.

Warmth in the Darkness, Chapter 1: Living on adrenaline. Enter Vivienne, Penelope, Kristina, Darrion, Rachelle, Mike, Naomi, and Eliza.

Vivienne P.O.V

Dear Diary,

No one understands what I'm feeling right now. It's like someone had attached a heavy weight to my heart and let it sink. I'm not depressed. I'm not emo. Am I? All I feel is as if everyone is happily going on about their lives, leaving me behind, alone in the dark. My nickname… laughy pants. Not so laughy anymore. Unless I'm hyper or in a loss of sleep. But that's when I laugh at everything. Almost feverishly. But no one notices. I put on a very convincing act.

XOXO,

Vivienne

For the thousandth time in her life, she noticed how ironic her name was. Vivienne means alive… when she felt like she was dead. One less human in Canada wouldn't matter at all, she thought grimly. But she didn't have the guts to go suicide. After all, what would her family, her friends do? There would always be a dark spot in them, their self-hatred of not noticing how she was feeling. Then there's the fact that she doesn't like to feel pain. She checked the time on her laptop. 1:54 am. Well. There's school tomorrow. Another act. She'll probably be so tired that she'll be high all day long. Except when she's swimming. Now that would be tiring. She turned off the laptop and dived under the covers of her bed. She was already in her pyjamas, just in case her father wakes up and shouts at her to go to sleep. Snuggling with one of her stuffed animals – a life sized Pokémon, she drifted off to sleep without even doing one of her usual rituals – wishing on the star that was always twinkling outside her window.

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"Vivienne! Hurry up! You're almost late for school!" Her mom was shouting at her from the bottom of the stairs.

Vivienne groaned but turned on the radio which rested at the foot of her bed. The radio immediately shrieked with music and she flopped back on the bed, squinting out the window. It was a very nice day, the kind with a bright sun and a beautiful baby blue sky. The kind she used to love. But now she was a night person. Someone who loves the moon, the stars and the dark rolling clouds. Vivienne dragged herself off her bed and dressed, while singing to the music. Time to get in character, she thought dryly. Only her clothes showed her dark side, with the all-black and the punkish belt. She put on fingerless gloves and tried to tame her black hair properly. After she washed her face, she looked in the mirror, seeing an Asian girl with emo-styled hair that just reached over her shoulders. Her brown ringed with dark grey eyes were dull, and face flushed from the scrubbing. She shrugged to the mirror and flounced out, grabbing her backpack. She could feel the adrenaline rush coming from her lack of sleep, but she knew it only triggered when her friends at school made some joke.

"Vivienne! Look at the clock! You only have a few minutes until you have to go!" Her mom yelled from across the house.

She sighed internally and the next minutes were a blur of cooking, eating, running, yelling at her father, who was driving, and singing to the songs on the radio. Then the line up at school. Many cars were honking loudly, anxious to get their children to school on time. Finally, her car went to the kiss n' ride lane, and she said many 'byes' before heading to the front doors. Which were technically off-limits. But who gives a shit. She smirked at her unusual bad-girl attitude.

"Vivienne! Wait up!" Someone called behind her. She allowed herself a grimace before turning to look behind her. Time for the show. Penelope with her black hair, glasses and sweet face was running up to her, arms opened for a giant bear hug. Vivienne grinned. A genuine grin. Penelope was the sweetest of her group of friends and the one that made her laugh extra hard… at nothing at all.

She was running towards Vivienne, arms outstretched, when she slapped a girl on the face unintentionally. Penelope's eyes widened and she cried, "Ohhmygod. I'm sorry. Are you okay??" Vivienne was cracking up with laughter, and she could tell Penelope was trying not to laugh too. But when she glanced at Vivienne, she yelled, "Shut up!" and started to snigger uncontrollably.

The girl who got slapped turned around; her short black hair ruffled slightly by the wind, and tried to glare through her glasses at Penelope. But she ended up smiling and held a hand to her head. "Am I okay? You just slapped me! I'm gonna hit you till you die!" She proved it to Penelope by hitting her on the head, hard, and ran into the school. But not before saying a brief, "Hi Vivienne".

"You are so dead," Penelope yelled at her disappearing figure, and ran up to Vivienne to give her a big hug. "Sorry about that." When she didn't respond, Penelope took a careful look at her face. "What's wrong? Turn that frown upside down!" She said that line, as an attempt to cheer her up. Sort of a private joke. Vivienne sighed internally and showed Penelope all her teeth, twisting it in a sort of grimace-smile.

Penelope settled for that, and informed her, "Kristina's going to pay."

Vivienne just nodded and entered the school. Everyone was busy, the students were talking about their amazing weekend and the teachers were hustling the kids into classrooms. Ugh. She on one hand, was glad to be back at school. It was her last year here, and she wanted to leave as many memories here as possible. Next year was the monster Grade 9. High school. She opened her locker with a sigh, next to Kristina's, and took out her stuff for English and French.

"Vivienne!!" A tall boy with an afro was walking to her, huge smile on his face.

"Darrion!!" she faked enthusiasm and gave him a big hug. Both of them laughed at nothing and Vivienne shrieked, "Oh my god!! You got braces!!" The happy mood was infecting her.

"Yup." And he showed her his teeth. Vivienne gave him a hug again. "We can be brace buddies!"

"Eww." Kristina had turned around and was watching them.

"You're eww," Vivienne replied almost absently. This was one of their everyday rituals.

"Your life is eww."

"Your mother's eww."

"Your father's eww."

"Go die in a black hole and never come back."

Kristina gave her a look. "Eww."

They both cracked up and turned back to their lockers. Vivienne stared at the back of the locker, lost in thought. This was one of the times when she felt together with the rest of the world; not sinking but treading water easily.

"Hey Vivienne," a tall girl with long brown hair said, opening her locker.

"Rachelle! Did you read some of my… stuff?" Vivienne asked, smiling. Rachelle was the thoughtful, sensitive one and a very good writer.

"Yeah. I sent you an email," she told her. Rachelle's words implied a silent 'I can't believe you didn't know, since you spend all your time on the computer.'

Over the weekend, she had started to write fanfiction to express her feelings. Sort of like therapy. And it sort of worked. Because when she was alone, she always felt the need of something. But she never knew what it was. After all, she had the perfect life: loving family and very close friends that could make her laugh so hard she could pee in her pants. But lately, it seemed as if a misty veil had dropped down silently. The world had become a flurry of bright colours and movement, but she was left in a state of dull grey and slow motion.

All of a sudden, a shriek startled her out of her thoughts and she automatically took out her binders, stuffing them into a bag. When she turned around, Penelope and Kristina were in a game of poking, regardless of the amount of people staring at them. When Penelope sneaked a peek at Vivienne, she had to fake a blank smile at her before slamming her locker shut. This is going to be a pretty fricken long day.

Walking down the hallway beside Kristina, Penelope and Rachelle, she rubbed her eyes with both eyes closed. Her bangs were getting too long. She should get it cut… and that was when she bumped into something warm and soft-ish. Ohh jeez. A person. "I'm so…" started to say, opening her eyes. Ugh. Him. The guy had almond shaped brown eyes and brownish black hair. Mike. "… sorry," she finished. He stared for a second, and then shouted, "Hey! Watch where you're going!"

She walked away unemotionally, with her friends yelling insults at him. The stupid loser. He should get a life, instead of trying to impress people. When she walked into the English classroom, a girl with brown eyes, glasses, and – a new haircut?! – walked up to her. "Vivienne! Did you read my 2 new chapters?!"

"Eliza." She said it as a greeting. "Yeah I did! It was so good! And you got a new haircut! It makes you look… older. Sophisticated." Eliza was also a great writer, and they sometimes traded ideas for their stories.

"Yerp. Thanks." She beamed.

"Eliza!! You got a new haircut!!" A girl with short brown hair and Asian brown eyes stretched her arms out for a hug. "Ahh! It looks good!"

"That's what I just said," Vivienne muttered.

"Thanks Naomi," Eliza chirped.

"Vivienne! I need your white out!" Naomi cried, attacking her pencil case.

Vivienne just stared.

"Your essays are due today, and I will collect them at the end of the class," Mr. Gyld, her English teacher, announced. "Open your notebooks and copy this down." He grabbed a piece of chalk and started to write on the board.

Vivienne obediently followed his instructions and in between discussions, she quietly stared out the window, thinking about her new mixed-up emotions when she was with her friends.

Yea, I know. Boring chapter, huh? But it's gonna get more interesting, I promise! And this was only a brainstorm. So tell me if I should even continue. Review?

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