(Disclaimer- It is not allowed to use nonhistorical, nonfictitious characters in fanfiction. While real people have been referenced here, this is meant to be educational in that respect, and no offence, or infingement is intended. I do not own Suits, or anything else I may have inadvertantly referanced below.)
"Harvey, who is Patrick K Adams?"
Harvey stopped. He turned around to see Mike glaring at him. Sighing, he motioned or him to come closer.
"Where did you hear that name?"
"Our client, Ms Devon called me that, as she passed by my cubicle."
"Oh." Harvey took a deep breath, and sighed. He had hoped it wouldn't have to come to this.
"Sit down."
"But-"
"Listen to your boss, Mike." That was Donna through the intercom, who was apparently very interested in what was going on. Mike sat on Harvey's expensive leather couch, and watched as Harvey paced up and down his office, apparently thinking about how to phrase what was coming next.
"Patrick K Adams is an actor. Nominated for a screen actors guild award. You know why?"
Mike shook his head.
"He was nominated for playing 'Mike Ross' on the show 'Suits'."
"Oh, I get it," grinned Mike, "she was making a pun on my name-"
"No she wasn't." Mike stopped grinning. Harvey handed him a picture.
"This is what he looks like." Mike peered at the image.
"Harvey, this a picture of me."
"Exactly."
"So, you mean-"
"Exactly."
"You're ki-"
"Mike, whatever epiphany you seem to have landed upon, I'm not interested. I just came to know that I'm played by some guy called "Gabriel Mact", who I have to admit, is extremely handsome, but that's not the point. Everyone here," he exclaimed, gesturing into the air, "isn't real. Donna here is a pretty lady called Sarah Raferty."
"Oh, I know her, she was on 'Tremors', right? But I thought her name was 'Sarah Raffer-"
"Don't say it! It's illegal to use real, non-historical characters in fan fiction. The author will be sued, the story will be deleted, and we will cease to exist!"
"But I thought we were in a TV show."
"We are, but this is fan made material, which can easily be deleted. Think if it as an 'alternate universe' where the author is God." Harvey looked like he was ready to snap at any time, so Mike politely excused himself.
"Where are you going?" Donna called after him.
"To tell Rachel. How does none of this bother you?"
"Me? I'm a famous actress, who graduated from the University of Oxford during her junior year, and, after graduating magna cum laude from Hamilton, went on to study at the Yale School of Drama. I have two daughters with my loving husband, so, frankly, I'm pretty happy with this arrangement."
Mike shook his head, wondering how he had never seen the resemblance between her and Raff- sorry Raferty. He briefly wondered how Harvey knew, but credited that to the author's whim.
"Donna?" She looked at him, her eyebrows raised. "Donna, who plays Rachel?"
"That's easy. Megan Markle."
"Hey, she was in Deal or no Deal, holding case #24, right?"
Donna chuckled to herself, and waved him off. Only knew Mike things like that.
Mike made a face at her, and briskly walked to Rachel's office.
"Hey, Rachel," greeted Mike. Rachel frowned at him. Mike had, as usual, forgotten to knock, and had taken a seat without asking her. There were only a few things under her control, and she liked to think that that the behavior of petulant associates in her office was included in the list.
"Rachel, do you know who Megan Markle is?" Asked Mike, snapping her out of her thoughts.
"No, I don't think so. Why, is she a client?"
"No. Do me a favor, and look her up."
"... Okay..." She knew it would only take a minute, so she set to work.
"Okay, I can't find anyone under the name Megan Markle, but There are results under Megh-"
"Yes, yes, look at her pictures!"
Rachel humored him, and clicked on the woman's images. Then she very audibly gasped.
"Mike, she looks just like me!" And it was true. She looked at Mike, questions written all over her face. Mike sighed, and began to explain what Harvey had just told him.
"... Okay, so I'm just a character in a TV show. A legal dramedy TV show."
"Rachel-"
"No, Mike, my life is a lie! I'm in a-a sitcom!"
"There's a difference between a dramedy and a sit-"
He was interrupted by Rachel suddenly hugging him. He realized that she was crying, and stroked her hair, comforting her.
"You know what this means, Mike? This means that I am who I am to entertain people. I can't pass the LSATs because its not entertaining to the audience. I'm not even a real person!"
Mike continued to stroke her hair, aware that almost all of what Rachel had just said also applied to him. And Harvey. And Donna. He didn't particularly mind that it applied on Kyle and Louis, but mentally applauded their actors- they were very convincing.
"What do happens now?" Rachel whispered against his chest. Honestly, Mike had no clue. "I hate this fan fiction."
An imaginary lightbulb suddenly clicked on top of Mike's head.
"It's fan fiction Rachel!"
"I know."
"No, I mean, this isn't real! It's a product of the author's imagination!"
"So that means..."
"It means that whatever happens here doesn't affect what actually happens in the show!" He grinned, obviously proud of himself. He was even more proud when he saw Rachel's face light up.
"I get it, whatever happens now, that won't stop all the happy things that may happen in the show, and in reality, this never happened!"
She smiled at Mike, who smiled back.
And it was at this moment that Kyle chose to walk past Rachel's office, put the apparent two and two together, come up with the conclusion that Mike and Rachel were going out, and decide to spread this latest piece of news with the rest of the associates.
You really had to marvel at the speed of Mike's brain to realize all of the above based on the expression on Kyle's face.
END
(a/n- Wow, parody, turned to educational, turned to angst. That is not how I expected it to go. All points mentioned here are verified facts. Especially that thing about Sarah Rafferty, I did not know she was that good- though she does do a good job as Donna. Anyway, I'd like to thank all those who reviewed on my first fic, I am really glad that there are people out there who enjoy my writing. Oh, and if Patrick J Adams, and Meghan Markle are 31 years old, does that, by proxy, make their characters that age too? Just checking. Sorry for rambling, but thanks for reading, do review!)