Once I was your child, a bible fanfic

Author's Note

A rewrite of a very old poem. It hurt to write this. Please review.

Once, I was child

Once, I was your friend

Once, I had the promise of Life that would never end

But now. . .

Now it's all over

And there's no one

To hear me

Cry

I'm sorry

I'm so sorry

Forgive me

Please. . .

But the only answer

Is silence and darkness

And I am sobbing, weeping, pleading, crying, weeping. . .

Somewhere, I know, You are in perfect life

Somewhere, your children are with you

Caught up to you in the endless, infinite harmony of your perfect love

Somewhere. . .

I was robed in perfect light, once

Once I knew your love

Once. . .

But not

Now

Now there is no love

Because there is no you

Now, there is nothing but pain

I fell and

I wouldn't let you help me up

I thought I was

Strong

I thought I was invincible

I had all the answers

I thought

I thought I could make it

I didn't

I fell

And I kept falling

I didn't look up

I didn't want to see the light

I didn't want you

I was so, so proud

As I stood before you

So proud of what I was

I said

I don't need you

I don't want you

I don't love you

I said it

But I was wrong

Wrong. . .

And you allowed me to go

Fufilled my wish to be without

You

Because that's what I wanted

Wanted to go to this nothing

Where I will never. . . ever

Ever

See your face again

I saw your face when

I walked away

Saw the tears in your eyes

I broke your heart that day

I know

You begged me to love you

Pleaded with me

Wept for me

Because you know how happy

I would be

In your arms

I was the reason

You died

On calvery

So that you could

In your arms

That

Day

Will never come

Somewhere

You are hurting

I know

I know you still love me

Nothing could ever change that

But the knowledge is dead

And cold

Because there is no love here

There is no love here

No love

I cannot love you

I cannot love you

I want to love you so badly

But I can't because you are love

And you are not here

I'm screaming

Sobbing desperately

I feel like I'm drowning

Unable to breathe

Unable to love

I struggle, so desperately

Trying and trying

Over and over

To get to the surface

To love again

My lungs burn

My whole body burns

I strain to force it

I CANNOT LOVE YOU

God. . .

I am alone in this eternal darkness

And I

Am crying for You

I want to be in your arms

Again and never leave

I want

To say that. . .

I love you

But I can't

I can never

The pain

It feels like I'm dying

Forever and ever

I wish I could die

I wish I could cease to be

It would be better

Once, I was your child

But now. . .

I will never feel your love

I will never love again

I am screaming

Sobbing

Trying to love

Weeping

Dying

Forever. . .