Backburner
A/N: This is yet another new project I'm working on! I hope you don't get the wrong idea with Bill and Ben's characterisation here- I like to think that they do respect Edward and listen to him, but they often take him for granted, and they don't realise this until it's nearly too late.
I would like to thank my co-writer, Raphianna, for helping me with this!
...
When you're as old as me, you'll learn that appreciation is a two edged sword.
On the one hand, you yourself appreciate being alive and (in the case of us old engines) still be able to work. You appreciate having a wonderful place to call home, and some good and loyal friends of all ages, sizes and backgrounds, to lean on. I am very grateful to be working on Sodor, with the dearest, most loyal companions I could ever ask for- instead of rusting away alone in an abandoned shed, a forgotten siding, or a screaming scrapyard.
On the other hand, you may sometimes feel that no one appreciates having you around, and would rather not listen to anything you have to say. It hurts even more when you care about them, but they don't always see it.
James, Duck, Trevor, Rosie, BoCo, Thomas, Toby, Emily, Percy, Henry...no, they are not the culprits in my hurt feelings. If anything, they are my balm when life just pushes me to the edge- or over it, in very rare cases.
Trevor, Toby, Duck and BoCo are all wise for their age, and they are able to provide me with comforting words of advice, just as I do with them. Emily, Henry and James look out for me as though I am their brother, which I am thankful for. Rosie and Percy both make me smile with their kindness and innocence. As for Thomas...he is nothing short of heaven sent.
As much as I love my friends, Thomas is the one I adore the most. He brightens my day when it all seems bleak, his laugh makes me laugh (but with him, I assure you) and he in return seeks my advice when he needs it, and he has appreciated my mentoring him when he first came to the yard. That was part of the reason our friendship is so strong.
He and I are often kept busy with Branchline duties, but we never fail to have a quiet chat about things, and often share a laugh over the good old days. He always greets me with a smile on his smokebox and cheer in his heart. We've always had each other buffers, so to speak, whenever it came to trouble for one of us.
Even though we engines are incapable of becoming parents, I could not help but feel parental affection for him.
But Bill and Ben- all too often- overlook me. The twins do mean well, and they listen to me, but there are times when they complain about my methods of looking out for them. I just don't want them to witness them getting into unnecessary trouble. They are, however, not the worst I have dealt with.
As for Gordon...well, I do question if he even appreciates me at all.
He is a good engine deep down, but he often makes disparaging comments about my age and my lack of strength in comparison to other engines. He grumbles at the indignity of accepting my help as banker up his hill, and thus never thanks me for helping. He's made rude comments about me- and he even hissed me when he went through his 'tender engines don't shunt' phase many years ago.
Their behaviour has cut me to the smokebox. While I have the engines that do care for me and listen- it has stifled me, and left me unable to say anything. It has altered me in ways I do not care to imagine.
If only they had realised this before my accident...