"Yawn"
Fiona Coyne wakes up sober with a few bottles next to her bed.

"Jesus, what did I do last night?"

"HEY DUMBASS, I'M HOME" yells .

Fiona quickly hides the bottles near her bed where if somebody sat down they would obviously see it.

"Hey Fiona, I'm home obviously and I came in without knocking unknowing that you could of been fapping or something" says as she sat on Fionas bed.

"Mom, I missed you, hey hows Declan been, have to talked to him?"

"Oh good, he's been irrelevant considering the writers made him go into the black hole without even talking to us or Holly J about our problems, no big deal though"

"Uh, great"

"Well, I better go, better not take up any useless drama next, even though the writer of this fanfic forgot what happens next"

Fiona hears her cellphone ring.

"Hello?"

"Fiona you little dickface, i've been trying to call you a billion times, i'm worried as hell. What were you doing?"

"Oh, I was at Charlies party with a bunch of alcohol and I decided to steal it because she got a girlfriend"

"That explains alot, so anyways, I'm dying and you're not over here, it's like, tommorow until prom and I'm alone even though I have other friends like Anya and Chantay who seem to be irrelevant because nobody cares about them, except feeling bad for Anya because she snorted some coke and now she un-addicted for good because her mom didn't kick her ass" yells Holly J over the phone.

"Hey calm down, I have much more problems, Charlie probably wants me to stay away because I let go of pa-"

Holly J hangs up.

(Now lets go over to an irrelevant Cake plot and add Fiona and Eli, which is on the wrong episode but I don't care)

"Jake, Its just that... your penis gets soft in the middle of sex"

"I can't help it Clar-" Clare walks away from Jake from the argueing.

Fiona and Eli overhear.

"I got to help them, I just don't know how" Eli yells.

"Why are we in school?"

"Because, The fanfiction writer is stupid"

"Ah..."

"Fiona, I just can't deal with this, I need to help them, if I don't, my dick will explode into a million pieces"

"Maybe just give them time, I'm sure they'll get over it, I mean, who wouldn't forgive you after that crazyass play you wrote"

"True, I would forgive myself if I could"

"Well I wouldn't Eli, just give it up"

"NO, I got to makeup for my mistakes, even if it takes a few condoms"

"..What?"

"Nothing"

(Meanwhile while Fiona and Eli are talking about meanless shit, and Holly J is dying, and Anya is snorting coke)

"Hey B, give me some of that bombass pussy"

"Vince, nobody likes you, Degrassi thinks the only black people here should be irrelevant or drug dealers"

"Bitch I ain't got no time be stereotyped, I gotta be busy loading up my gun so I can shoot yo squeaky clean boyfriend"

"But you shoot Adam"

"Bitch, does it look like I give a shit, atleast I shoot a bitch"

(That was short)

Next on The Worst Degrassi Fanfiction:

Will HJ die while giving her speech?

Will Eli and Fiona have rough sex?

Will they add another irrelevant black character?

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT CHAPTER.