Stan woke up to the sound of birds chirping and Soos masturbating in the 'break room'. He stretched and smiled on his long wrinkly face, "what a perfect, Normal day ! Nothing can go wrong !" He then looks down at his pants and saw no hanging weight lifting him down, for there was a triangle shaped private. He laughed a good, hearty laugh. "AHAHAHAHAHHA! Take /that/ vagina Claus!" Stan finally grew back a vagina. Suddenly, a sound boomed like no other. Not even as loud as Soos' moaning.
"Well what the fuckington fuck was that?" Stan puzzled. Wendy was banging on his window. She swung her axe and broke the window, shards flying everywhere.
"Hey babe." She blew the older man a kiss. Stan's eyes widened, he had frickle frackled with the ginger last night. But now, now he had a vagina. Wendy motioned towards the bed, smirking. Soos' moaning got louder from the tiny break room.
Stan shifted awkwardly, "I-I have a vagina now, Wendy."
Wendy laughed, "Yeah, and I grew a third nipple." She winked. Wendy actually did. Stan pulled down his pants to prove his point and show the wonder.
"Dafuq Stan I thought you liked prostituting me."
"Wendy, I love prostituting you and you know it, but I love my vagina." He bit his lip. Soos came in. He was drunk. And high. Stan smuggled drugs last night.
"Hhhhhhhhhhhi guys." He winked at Wendy and wiggled his dick.
Wendy rolled her eyes, "I like old and wrinkly, you ass." She groaned at Soos.
Soos shook his head in disappointment, "But-but I moisturized."
"Soos, get the fuck out of my room, I'll deal with you later." Stan secretly winked at Soos and pointed to his vagina. Soos obliged and rushed out, clinging his newly moisturized dick. Wendy looked around frantically, Stan was giving her the evil eye.
"I have a friend who has a really nice long and pointy one." Stan suggested. Wendy gasped, adrenaline rushing through her body as the dick was described.
"BILL!" Stan shouted, and the triangle dream demon appeared in an instant, looking thirsty. He hovered above Wendy, snapping his fingers as he appeared in human form. Wendy whistled and slowly took off her tank top. Stan rushed out to inhale more marijuana. Human Bill then took off his golden pants, revealing exactly what Stan described: long and pointy. Wendy giggled with excitement and jumped into bed. Dipper heard moaning coming Stan's room, not from the break room for once. Dipper rushed down the stairs, shirtless. He opened the creaky door to find Bill and Wendy humping each other vigorously. A strangled gasp escaped his throat, but Bill and Wendy just kept going. They then started touching tongues, and Bill ran his cum stained fingers through Wendy's strawberry hair. Dipper ran, not sure where he was heading, but kept on running and didn't look back. He ended up in front of the Northwest mansion. He immediately ran in, slamming the double French doors behind him. He saw Preston and his wife playing leap frog in the corner of the grand hall. Dipper didn't even raise a brow, he'd seen weirder stuff today. Pacifica rushed down the stairs, only in a towel. Dipper was still shirtless.
"Dipper!" She screamed. Dipper blushed a shade of vermillion. Damn, she looked fine. Dipper didn't know what he was doing, but he decided to copy Bill, his role model. He took off Pacifica's towel slowly, leading her upstairs. His pants were already off, he sharted. Preston Northwest and his wife continued playing leap frog.
"Let's play leap frog with your dick, honey!"
"Okay, wife."
Preston then picked up his wife by her hair, lifting her off the ground with incredible strength. Must've been that leap frog. It was a hard core game, after all. The wife laughed as she was thrown out the window.
"Wheeee!" She screamed of pure pleasure. Preston jumped out the window and landed on his wife, and began chewing on her vagina hastily. Meanwhile, Pacifica smirked at Dipper.
"Finally standing up to me, eh?" She snorted like a pig and Dipper started to join her chorus as they both made a melody of dying pig snorts.
"Let's go bungee jumping!" Pacifica smiled brightly.
"Nah, yogurt makes me sing."
Pacifica sighed, "I'll give you some yogurt." She winked. Dipper raised a brow. Pacifica took a firm grip on her 34 C sized cup and began squirting.
"Eee ah!" Dipper made a donkey sound. Pacifica laughed and licked the boob yogurt off his face.
"NUUUUUUUUUYGHH." She said.
"What's that?" Dipper asked.
"Me in bed."
Dipper began singing a high pitch, he forgot yogurt made him sing. Especially boob yogurt. Crusty green boob yogurt, like an ogres.
Dipper looked at Pacifica, "let's go on an adventure."
Pacifica's expression brightened, but dulled when Dipper said, "No, not that kind of adventure."
"Later," He whispered as they watched the Preston couple cut each other's hair off with a rusty shovel. Dipper half dragged Pacifica out of the manor. They jumped over the frickle frackling couple, and into the woods. ((A/N: Don't watch that movie it sucks)) They jumped over actual leap frogs, and actual leap dicking frogs. Dipper gasped as a huge, pot bellied emerald ogre towered over him.
"I LIKE TO SWANG." He meant 'swing' in ogre language.
"Oh-oh I'm sure you do, can you teach me how?" Asked Dipper
Shrek looked down at the boy, "I fuck you now?" Shrek asked. Pacifica licked a tree.
Dipper smiled, "Only vaginas, my friend."
Shrek turned his head around in a full 360, "SWAAAANG."
Dipper couldn't decipher the cunning ogre's language. Dipper decided to copy Preston and do leap frog. It didn't end up quite how he expected. He tried jumping over the ogre, but his dick collided with its head.
Shrek yelled in pain, "YAMAKAS."
Shrek was Jewish.