Lemony: *folds arms* No comment
Rukia vs. Lemony
Summary: Lemony and Rukia fight over Gin's affections.
Gin Ichimaru was a very calm, cool, and collected young man. But when Rukia and Lemony started fighting over him, he wasn't sure how to react. It all started about an hour ago when Gin asked Lemony out on a date and Rukia popped up out of no-fucking-where and said, "Gin is mine!"
"WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST?" Lemony shouted getting toe to toe with the younger Kuchiki. The sexy beast of a girl was practically foaming at the mouth when Rukia interrupted the conversation between her and Gin. Rukia was scowling at Lemony so hard her face looked like she swallowed a sour penis.
"YOU HEARD ME HEFFA!" Rukia shouted back, sadly enough both girls were nearly the same size so it was a fair fight…
"GIN IS MINE!" Lemony yelled, snatching the silver-haired man by the collar of his robes and yanking him.
"UH-HUH!" Rukia hollered back, "HE'S MINE! I'M GONNA FUCK THE RED RIGHT OUT HIS EYES!"
"OH YEAH?" Lemony screamed, "WELL HE'LL FUCK EVERY HOLE I'VE GOT UNTIL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT BUT A PILE OF SEXY-NESS!"
"Wha?" Rukia said cocking an eyebrow, "YOU'RE BEING SUCH AN ASS RIGHT NOW, LEMONY! YOU KNOW GIN IS MINE!"
"I don't give a damn!" Lemony said rubbing herself up against a smirking Gin, "He loves me!"
Meanwhile, the silver-haired captain of Squad 3 was merely thinking of having a threesome with both girls. There was the image of Lemony making out Rukia while he watched…and then not only would he have one pussy to fuck, he'd have two! And then instead of having two breasts to squeeze, he'd have four! And who said multiplication was useless? Oh fuck the hell yes! Gin was actually starting to enjoy this…
"Ladies, ladies," Gin purred, "There's enough of me to go arou-"
"SHUT UP GIN!" Both girls screamed in his smexy face, "STAY OUT OF THIS!"
Rukia snatched Gin by his hand and took him away from the overly beautiful Lemony. "He wants me, isn't that right Gin?"
"You told me to stay out of it." Gin replied nervously, both girls eyes were on fire. They were gonna come to blows in three…two…one…FIGHT!
Rukia drew her Zanpakto, "Sode no Shirayuki!"
Lemony didn't pull out a sword, instead that girl whipped out a cannon! "BITCH'S LOVE CANNONS!"
"BRING IT ON YOU LINT-LICKER!"
Gin couldn't believe his eyes, "Shut the front door! You guys are really gonna fight?"
"SHUT UP GIN!"
Before either girl knew what was going on, Rukia was trying to turn Lemony into a delicious citrus-flavored popsicle, and Lemony was trying to blow Rukia's head off with cannon balls! Somehow both girls lost their weapons in the scuffle and started duking it out! All Gin could see was a cloud of dust surrounding the girls.
"I'VE GOT YOUR ARM!" Rukia exclaimed,
"SO SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!" Lemony yelled body-slamming the raven-haired girl. Gin was watching them fight and getting a raging boner at the sight.
"GIN IS MINE!" Rukia hollered slinging the good-looking girl back,
"GO TO THE PHARMACY AND ASK FOR SOMETHING CALLED VIAGRA!" Lemony yelled charging back at Rukia,
"Wha?" Gin thought to himself,
"IT'LL HELP YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF!" Lemony finished, as the girls continued to fight Gin merely stood and rubbed the bulge of in his robes. Suddenly the famous Reggae singer Sean Paul walked by and Lemony froze. Her pretty eyes went wide at the sight of her favorite singer...in a cherry-colored thong!
"As a matter of fact... " She purred eyeing the Caribbean man, "Rukia, you can keep him! See ya' Gin"
With that, the sexy girl leapt up from the ground, brushed off her robes and chased after the good-looking singer.
"SEAN PAUL! I LOVE YOU!" Lemony yelled, "Let's get together and have babies that are so freaking gorgeous people will burst into flames when they look at them!"
And just like that Sean Paul and Lemony strutted into the sunset leaving Rukia alone with Gin. The silver-haired man smirked and turned to the younger girl.
"Well..." He purred wriggling his eyebrows, "It looks like you won. Are you ready to claim your prize?"
Rukia cocked an eyebrow at him, "Suddenly, I'm not so interested anymore..."
Gin's face went completely numb. Rukia shrugged and walked off leaving him standing there with his mouth wide open and a boner in his robes. Oh fuck all kinds of duck, what the hell had just happened?
Moral of The Story: Girls should never fight over guys…it's a complete waste of time.
THE END!
Lemony: *arches eyebrow* Still on strike…REVIEW!