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Severus was tired. Tired of the lying, spying, and being something he wasn't. Not that the dark lord cared, or even Dumbledore no matter how much the headmaster claimed to be the epitome of goodness and light. To both his masters Severus was just a means to an end; not a human being with a heart and soul. Severus placed a hand around on his rounding belly this baby was his curse and salvation all wrapped into one. His only goal was to get this child into the world, and give it the best life he could. The land could rip open and the sky rain blood but he would not care. He was in his rooms sitting by the fire, and trying to think about the future he was three months pregnant with Harry Potter's child, which meant he had no future. Part of him wanted to go to the seventeen year old beg and beg for protection, but the fear of being tossed aside like a used dish rag stopped him.

It is not as if the teen no man would want him. Why would the boy who lived want a pregnant thing over twice his age, who was ugly to boot.

A drunken night had caused this problem as Lucius called it. No matter which side he was on Lucius was still his friend. He was the reason why Severus even went to the doctor. For two months he had been throwing his guts up. Narcissa knew what it was before the doctor said it. They promised to help him maybe they would until they learned the father; though he would take their help for as long as he could.

That stupid law meant if he didn't tell Potter before he gave birth he would go to jail, and the child would be born a squib because of lack of the father's magic. That is the reason why you never heard of unmarried witches having children it didn't happen. Even muggleborns had two parents even though many claimed that muggles couldn't have magic they do very little a glitch in their DNA meant they couldn't tap into it. Others muggle lovers claimed it was a glitch in witches and wizards DNA caused them to tap into it. Truly this was a chicken or an egg case, or more likely who is better than whom.

Muggles like his father called wizards freaks, while purebloods like Lucius called muggles scum. Severus was proud of being of Prince Blood, proud to be a wizard, of the power most muggles couldn't even dream of, but no matter what he was raised in the muggle world he could tell you about cars, why America was no longer a colony of England, and very much considered himself very much of a freak. You see Severus was a man but wasn't at least in muggle terms. He had no balls and where they should be he had woman parts till this day he couldn't think or speak the word truly for it. He was unable to father children, but he could carry them. He got monthly periods and had a slight womanly curve to his hips. He was short borderline petite, but lanky in a way that helped him pass for being a man. Still he wore overly large robes to hide his hips.

Even though his mother knew there was nothing wrong with him she took him to doctor after doctor to pacify Tobias. Severus hated the doctors hated how they looked at him as if there was something wrong with him. The tests any given appointment could be embarrassing, to uncomfortable, or even painful. Though as long as there was hope they could fix their son Tobias was sweet, kind, and gentle with his son, and wife. Holding his son as he cried of how he felt as if he were a pin cushion, and how the doctors called nurses in to look at the rare case how they looked at parts his teacher said people shouldn't.

Though the loving father was gone like a thief in the night once the answer was there was nothing wrong with him nothing to fix nothing to make it better, nothing to give him the son he should have had. No he was left with the freaky thing that was neither a boy nor a girl, so IT was nothing. Not worth love, care, kindness, or at times even food. Then Tobias started to beat him, and when Eileen tried to stop him a first pleading begging for him to stop, but when he wouldn't what was the five foot not even a hundred pound woman do, but turn her wand on him? He suffered like that for three years his father looking at him with scorn and hate, beating him after a night at the bar. His mother caving in on herself sometimes she would take care of him and other times she would ignore him as if he were a fly on the wall. Older boys at school called him a Nancy and one day they thought they would check. After that Severus was no longer able to go to school. His father wanted no to know what of a freak of a thing his wife had given birth to.

And when the black haired boy thought all was lost that maybe he should do what his father said, and go drown himself in the river, the boy of spinner's end saw a beautiful red haired girl causing flowers to fly in the air. Her sister called her a freak, and he thought she was like him a freak neither a he nor a she. When he went up to show her a way to make the flowers fly higher she said hi I am Lily what is your name?

I shouldn't start a new story with not finishing my others, but I couldn't get this plot bunny out of my head. The others seem to be deathly quiet, so for now this is my focus. This is more of a get inside Severus's head chapter if anything, but I really do like it. He will have flashbacks of his past and what caused him to be pregnant.